The Lady and the Monster
by todream
Summary: Rey, a VP at Skywalker Enterprises, takes her job seriously and rarely has any fun, or that's what Kylo Ren tells her. He's the VP on the tenth floor who has given up on her, having asked her out more than he cares to admit. What happens at the city's annual masquerade gala when the two meet and take on other personas? What happens after the gala? AU Drabble from tumblr prompt
1. The Only Exception

"And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable, distance and up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

But, you are, the only exception"

~ _The Only Exception_ by Paramore

~o~

She came here tonight out of spite. She decided at the last minute to go to the Masquerade Gala because of him...the one who drove her mad. She looked up at the beautiful building in front of her, and his name immediately infiltrated her brain.

Kylo—that damn name. Just thinking it made her grind her teeth and clinch her jaw.

The more she thought of him, the angrier she became, and she wouldn't let him get the upper hand like he always did.

She could still see him on the elevator earlier this evening, smirking at her when he realized she would have to take a ride with him down to the parking garage at the end of the work day.

He was so smug and cocky in his dark blue, expensive suit that she couldn't help but notice how it was tailored to fit his body just so. It frustrated Rey that the man she couldn't stand made her a little weak in the knees. On more than one occasion she'd imagine herself licking the scar that ran down his cheek, and she hated herself for being so weak.

"Staying home tonight with the cats, I assume?" He loosened his silk tie, revealing a glimpse of his skin underneath. She tried not to notice his cologne, but it infiltrated her senses, making her lose her train of thought.

"Um, as a matter of fact, I have a Jane Austen book club meeting," she explained. "Not that I need to tell you." She held her head high, trying to fake her nerd pride.

"How...exhilarating." If a tone of voice could roll its eyes, the one he used did just that.

Pulling her hair behind her ears, she watched the count down of the elevator numbers and cursed its slowness. She should've kept her mouth shut while she was ahead, but that wasn't how Rey ticked.

"So...what do you have planned for tonight, a threesome?" She asked backhandedly, but her voice squeaked in the process of trying to be saucy. Rey hated how she acted around him. She was confident in all areas of her life, except when it came to Kylo. She gulped when he took a step closer to her, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"I'm headed the the Masquerade Gala tonight. Care to come with me? I'll make it worth your while." His breath tickled the tiny hairs on her neck. Her toes curled a bit in her Louboutin heels from the almost-contact of the man she hated.

Her body screamed _yes, yes, Oh God, yes!_ But her head answered with a definite _no way in hell._

"I'm busy, so thanks but no thanks." The hair she tried to keep behind her ears kept falling in her face which aggravated her. The man next to her drove her to the brink of madness.

The elevator finally stopped, and the doors opened. He chivalrously let her exit first.

She watched his tailored suit walk away towards his luxury car she couldn't name.

"Enjoy talking about your fictional characters and avoiding getting into a relationship with a real man. Tell Whiskers I said hi." He remarked before he shut his fancy door and sped away.

As she stood at the bottom of the steps of the Chandrila Centre, she recalled the look she wanted to slap off his face as he drove away. That was when she changed her mind. She cancelled her book club meeting and began her hurried preparations for the gala with no time to think about her rash decision.

Rey had squeezed her body in her gold evening gown she had delivered from Gucci at the last minute and then gently placed the matching jeweled mask on, concealing her face. She made sure she didn't mess up the hair she worked on for almost an hour—about fifty six more minutes than she normally did.

She began her long trek up the steps to the Hannah City Centre. She was determined to find her Mr. Darcy tonight to spite her cocky coworker. The man she would meet would not be fictional. He would be real and amazing.

It would hopefully make Kylo Ren jealous as hell.


	2. Unintended

"You could be my unintended  
Choice to live my life extended  
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can  
But I'm busy mending broken  
Pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can  
But I'm busy mending broken  
Pieces of the life I had before

Before you."

~ _Unintended_ by Muse

~o~

At this moment, he was bored. Every year he came to this thing, and every year he had an amazing time-but not this year. He usually liked the freely-flowing booze and the multitude of women who were looking for love with no strings attached. Wearing disguises lessened inhibitions. The loud music meant there was more talking with bodies than with lips. Lips were left for kissing in the dark, among the many other things couples did when the lights went down.

"Hi there," voiced a beautiful blonde clothed in a little, red dress who was drinking him in, looking like she wanted to suck him like a lollipop. At the last gala, he would've taken one look at her big tits and had her eighteen different ways before sunrise.

"Go away," he groaned, not in the mood for her. What the fuck have I become? he asked himself as he watched the tightest ass walk away from him in a huff.

Obviously, he didn't have to work for affection from the opposite sex—they always flung themselves at him. Kylo was what his friends would call a player, and he wore that label proudly. Who could blame him? He loved women, and they seemed to love him back. Except one particular woman. And she was the damn one he wanted.

Being a player came easy to him. Women liked powerful men in a good suit, and he had lots of power being one of the few VP's at Skywalker Enterprises. He had been one of the youngest to ever get that position...that was until she came to work alongside him six months ago.

Rey came into her VP position and was ready to play with the big boys of the male-dominated company. At first, Kylo thought she was hired to be their token female, but he soon learned she was a ball buster and could hold her own with the men. And, goddammit, he liked it. He wanted her to bust his balls in many other places besides the boardroom, one being his bed.

Kylo had never met anyone like her; she immediately drew him in like a moth to a flame from their first meeting. Not only was she impressive with a brilliant mind, Rey was stunning and not in the Instagram model way. She barely wore any make up, just some shiny gloss on her lips that distracted him in meetings when the sun hit it just right. She wore classic, expensive clothes that never showed any skin. He got really good at imagining what her body looked like under her modest attire. Maybe she liked lingerie from La Perla? The thought of her clothed in nothing but lace had distracted him on more than one occasion. Her hair was always in a messy bun, and the way a few strands would fall in her face over and over again tested his self-control. Most of all, whenever she rejected his advances, telling him in her cockney accent to bugger off, his pants pitched a tent. He had resorted to taking matters into his own hands when he thought of her, which was often.

In fact, after seeing her on the elevator tonight, he had to take a very long shower. The way her jaw flexed when he annoyed her irritated him, but it turned him on at the same time. Just imagining how she sounded when she came made him climax hard. If it ever happened in real life, he just might explode.

Being who he was, he pounced on her before anyone else in the company could when she was hired. They had a dating policy at the office, but he was never one to follow the rules. He usually made them. The only problem was that every advance he made, she shot him down. Kylo was wading in new territory. He wanted her, but she seemed to be repulsed by his mere existence.

He could sense a change in the world around him since she came into his orbit, circling him closely but never making contact. Something inside him had changed, and he didn't like it. How could one woman have this effect on him? He had always been in control, and her pull on his whole being terrified him. She messed with his head so much that he wasn't even himself lately, although he would never let her know. He was an asshole to her, acting just like a grade-school boy who had a crush on a girl.

Usually dressed in an impeccable tuxedo, Kylo found himself in casual wear. He couldn't even get it together enough to dress properly. A black button-up and dark, denim jeans was his attire. He sat alone, mumbling to himself, working on getting shit-faced. Damn Rey and her pretty little mouth and her fucking book club and her tight, calve muscles in those fuck-me heels.

Trying to push her out of his mind, he gulped down the entire flute of champagne and grabbed another before the server could leave. No one in this room measured up to the one he thought of twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and then some. Ready to call it quits for the night, he took another swig of champagne, like he was downing a shot of whiskey, and scanned the large banquet hall.

That's when he noticed the gold dress glowing brightly in the darkened room.

Whoever she was, she entranced him with just one look—and that dress. It was tight and fit her curves like a glove. It clasped behind her neck and it plunged all the way down to her toned stomach. The curve of her small breasts peeked out from beneath the flowing material. His mind then drifted to what was under the knee-length dress.

Maybe this woman could be the one to help get Rey off his mind—at least for tonight? He set the empty champagne glass on a nearby table and made his way to her. He arranged his mask, making sure it was securely intact. He opted for one that almost covered his entire face, just leaving his mouth and jaw exposed. The black mask hid his scar; it was the one night he could pretend he didn't have it and not think about how he got it. He could hide behind the mask and be whomever he wanted. He could pretend to be a somewhat decent guy once a year, couldn't he? Tomorrow he could go back to being the bastard everyone knew him to be.

As he homed in on her, he nervously checked his hair. He had tied it back tonight, which was a change from it constantly hanging in his face. Anyone who knew him would walk right past him, and he was okay with that. Anonymity was important to him at the gala.

"Hi. Would do you like some champagne?" he inquired when he finally crossed the room to where she was standing alone.

"What?" she shouted at him.

He yelled a little louder, realizing that trying to talk over the music was futile. He bent down to her and whispered in her ear. "Would you like some champagne? I know a guy." He felt himself smirk as he spoke to her and had to linger for a moment because she smelled so damn good.

"That would be brilliant—I mean great, that would be great," she answered back, stretching her neck to reach her mouth to his ear. Her exposed skin enticed him and made him wonder how it tasted.

Kylo quickly spun on his heels, grabbing flutes from the nearby server, who didn't even see him coming. He had to dodge other masked guests who got in his way to make sure he didn't spill anything.

"You're quick on your feet," she yelled as he handed her the drink.

Tipping his glass to her, he smiled and said, "Thank you." He liked this girl already. His eyes lingered on the curled, brown hair that that flowed across her shoulders. Losing his train of thought by watching her red lips sip the champagne, he missed her next question and felt her hand on his forearm.

"What's your name," she asked with a smile, taking a step toward him.

"Um...M-my n-name," he stuttered. This woman had him tongue-tied for the first time in his life.

"Ben. My name is Ben," he finally blurted out.

"Nice to meet you, Ben. I'm Aalya." She stuck out her small hand out and met his in a firm handshake. He was taken aback by the strength she showed. Most women bent their wrists and shied away from showing force, even in something as simple as a handshake. Not this woman.

"Nice name," he responded awkwardly, not knowing what else to do or say because she confounded him.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Kylo finally got his wits about him. If he had any chance to get Rey out of his mind, this woman would be the one to do it. "Would you care to dance?" he finally uttered.

Her large, hazel eyes beamed at his question from behind the mask that matched her dress. "Yes, I'd love to."

When she agreed, he suddenly found his arms aching to hold her close to him. It was then he decided that he would have this beauty tonight and enjoy every moment of it.

And probably think of Rey the entire fucking time.


	3. Lust for Life

"'Cause we're the masters of our own fate  
We're the captains of our own souls  
There's no way for us to come away  
'Cause boy we're gold, boy we're gold"

~ _Lust for Life_ by Lana Del Rey

~o~

At this moment, she was nervous. Rey had never done anything remotely like this before. Having a bit of social anxiety, events like this made her a nervous wreck. Somehow having the jeweled mask with the feathers jetting out from the sides helped ease her anxiety. Being someone else was the only way she was going to make it through the gala tonight.

The dress, the hair, and the make up were nothing like who she was every day. She loved nice things and had her own money to spend, but she never was ostentatious in her purchases. Most of her wardrobe consisted of neutral tones with classic cuts. She didn't know who the hell she was tonight because earlier she had an out of body experience buying lipstick on her way home from work. She had no clue who was controlling her body when she chose that shade of red. She was pushing her boundaries when she put on tinted lip balm instead of her usual clear gloss.

No one expected her here, not even the one she came here to spite. Rey had no clue what she was doing. Her goal tonight was to find someone who could take her inhibitions away and do more than make out and cuddle afterwards. She needed someone to aggressively pull her hips, touch her everywhere, and maybe even make her come somewhere in that process. It had been too long since she felt passion—or had an orgasm by something other then the appliance she kept tucked away in her bedside drawer.

Working in a building full of attractive men wore on her daily. They all drove expensive cars, wore beautiful clothes, and had the disposable income that could whisk a woman away to a foreign land just for the weekend. Rey didn't want to be the kind of woman her co-workers usually liked—big-boobed, dim-witted, and scantily clad.

That could be the reason she was alone most weekends with her cats. She only had two of them, and she furrowed her brow thinking of how Kylo made her sound like a reclusive cat lady earlier when they were in the elevator. How did he know she had cats anyway?

Here she was, dressed up like many of the women she saw on the arm of her coworkers at the myriad of company functions. They would laugh if they saw her, especially Kylo. If he knew she were here, he would take one look at her and probably insult her with his pretty little mouth.

Even though he asked her out all the time, she knew he was being condescending and would never actually give her the time of day. He was beautiful, and he had women around him at all times. Rey couldn't go out with him because she'd be a pity date. She wasn't his type, and he definitely wasn't hers. Or so she kept telling herself.

 _Why do you obsess about him so much?_ The thought often crossed her mind, and the woman who graduated with top honors from the prestigious Taunul University had absolutely no answer.

With a deep breath and a false confidence, she entered the darkened room. Not one for the club scene, she actually kind of liked the vibe the gala emitted as she surveyed the scene. The music was too loud for her taste, but the DJ was good. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the low-lit room, and before she could even get her bearings, a tall, broad-shouldered man was at her side, asking her a question that she couldn't hear over the dance music pumping through the speakers.

"What?" she yelled at him and was suddenly taken aback by this man in front of her for some reason. His presence dominated the area around them, and it somehow grabbed a hold of her.

"Would you like some champagne? I know a guy." His soothing voice spoke with a bit of humor in it but his lips never curved to smile.

"That would be brilliant," she began to answer in her normal voice, but her brain did a quick switch to her horrible, American accent. She wanted to be someone else in this moment because that would be the only way she would have the backbone to go through with what she wanted tonight.

She could run Skywalker's entire IT department that spanned the globe and manage hundreds of mostly male subordinates, but she had trouble having the courage to get laid. Just speaking to an attractive man had her twisted in knots. It was a mystery to her, and hopefully by the end of the night, she would prove to herself that she was still a woman who could be desired by a man.

"I mean great. That would be great," she added, trying to change the way she normally said her r's. _Good luck keeping this up all night,_ she told herself. Hopefully there wouldn't be much talking.

He'd asked her to dance after they got their introductions out of the way and sipped a tiny bit on champagne. She set her flute on a table, and he did the same.

His name was Ben. It was a strong name to match the strong hand that pulled her to the crowded dance floor. She couldn't wait to be close to him. The way he moved to get their champagne made her stomach do a flip. A large man like that with agility to boot—she liked that. She liked it a lot.

Rey followed Ben's wide shoulders and admired how he sauntered with such confidence. The crowd parted for him as if he were in charge, and for some reason, it turned her on. How a man like this singled her out of a room filled with beautiful women, she didn't know, and she decided for once in her life that she wouldn't over analyze what was happening.

Unexpectedly, Rey felt the force of their forward motion stop. He turned to her and brought her to him with one motion. She stood paralyzed for a moment, taking in how it felt to be touched by a man like this one. Her hands didn't know what to do, and she felt awkward having to think about it. Ben's large hands found her bare back and she could feel little tingles from the heat of his hands. She finally wrapped her arms around his neck, reaching up to do so. She felt protected in the safe cocoon he made for her with his body. She forced the thought of a smirking Kylo out of her brain.

"You're beautiful," Ben whispered in her ear.

She felt the heat of embarrassment cover her skin because it had been a long time since she heard those words.

"No, I'm-," she began to discredit herself, but he interrupted.

"Don't even try and argue with me. I was about to leave until I saw you."

The uptempo music ended, and as if the DJ knew a slow song was in order, he began playing one, a good one in a seductive minor chord with a haunting voice singing lead. It made Rey acutley aware of Ben, his body, and how much she desired him. He made something stir inside her that had been dormant for so long. She would embrace it and allow her sensuality to take over.

He gripped her tighter to his body which felt like a warm, brick wall. He obviously was ripped; the thin fabric gave away the secrets beneath his shirt. She tilted her face up to his neck and inhaled the masculine scent that oozed from his pores. She had to hold on to him tightly because she was losing the ability to stand upright. She'd never been weak in the knees around anyone. Well, anyone else that wasn't Kylo.

Her nose ran along the collar of his shirt and the skin of his neck, she thought she heard a low rumble from the back of his throat. _Does he want me, too?_

Without warning, he spun her around and grabbed her hips moving her roughly up to his body. What she felt hard on her lower back let her know he wanted her as well. One of his hands slid inside her low-cut dress to her abdomen, the other still gripping her hip.

Rey found her right arm slinking its way to find the back of his neck where she held on for dear life.

Her breathing became shallow the longer the two of them moved with one another. She didn't even hear the music anymore and didn't know how many songs they danced to in this position. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh, surrendering to the moment and hopefully to him.

"This feeling...ah," she moaned out loud, not knowing if he heard her or not. She placed her free hand on his that was stroking her flat stomach. Her need began to seep between her thighs.

"I feel it, too," he murmured, leaning down to her.

Then the woman she was pretending to be emerged and spoke on behalf of her aching nether regions.

"Can we go somewhere and be...alone," she squeaked out. She needed him to help her feel like a woman; but most of all, she needed him to get the man she shouldn't be attracted to out of her mind.

Ben pushed her body into his hard cock one last time before releasing himself from her.

"Follow me," he uttered as he grabed her hand, dragging her to the ballroom door exit. The man moved through the crowd of people like he was parting The Red Sea. _How does he do that?_

Could she live with herself if she followed through with what was about to happen with this beautiful man? In her moment of questioning, Ben looked back at her, and pierced her with his lustful gaze from behind his dark mask.

Oh, yes, she could.

~o~

I'm on the tumblr. Link in my profile ;)


	4. Favorite Color is Blue

"I'm thinking of changing my name, thinking of wrecking a home.  
'Cause loving and hating are one and the same,  
And I'm feeling like everyone's feeling alone.  
I'm just looking for something to soften the blow  
A second inside of the truth.  
I don't see light 'cause

Now my favorite color is blue,  
And now my favorite color is blue."

~ _My Favorite Color is Blue_ by Robert DeLong feat. K. Flay

~o~

Kylo's lips were on hers before they even left the ballroom. He couldn't even wait to get out the door. He pushed her to the closest wall, grabbing her hands in the process, pinning her beneath his body, leaving no space between them. The pouty, red mouth had been teasing him since he saw her across the room. Once he parted her lips and began exploring, he knew he had fallen into her grasp and couldn't be brought back.

He had never kissed anything sweeter than Aayla's mouth and savored her distinctive taste. The little bit of champagne that lingered there was icing on the cake to him. The need to be in power and in control of this woman had overtaken him. Pulling away briefly, he smirked noticing how the red lipstick had smeared across her face.

He watched as she bit her bottom lip. His body ached, wanting her even more.

"I want to touch you," she whispered. It was then that he realized he still had her hands pinned above her head, and his eyes widened in shock as she forced her hands free from his tight grip. He was strong, but evidently she was his kryptonite.

The two of them didn't seem to care they were surrounded by hundreds of people. The masks seemed to give a false security to the party goers. No one would blink twice at the two lovers going at it against the wall. It was to be expected. Before midnight, the party was actually a decent event with important people socializing and networking. They would all drink a little too much, laugh at bad jokes, and be home in bed by eleven, waiting to see their pictures on Page Six the next day.

Kylo was a part of the after-hours crowd. Arriving late gave him the excuse to bypass the banal pleasantries and let him get right down to the business he was most interested in-finding someone who would fuck the memory of Rey out of his mind.

Aayla's hands ran up under his untucked shirt, which made him very happy on his wardrobe choice tonight-easy access for her delicate fingers. He sucked in a breath when she ran her flat palms over his abdomen. The muscles jumped with every pass over her hand, and he had to use the wall to brace himself. He had to get a hold of himself because women usually did not make him feel weak. Usually the dominate one and always in control, he was momentarily troubled by how this girl affected him.

Needing to claim her mouth again, he bent down, eager for her taste, but she turned her head before he could make contact. His chest constricted from the rejection.

"I really don't want to kiss anymore," she murmured in his ear. He searched for her eyes through her mask and saw a fire that ignited his insides. _This is going to be fun,_ he thought to himself.

Without words, he shifted off of her body, took her hand, and pulled her out the exit doors. The hallway outside the ballroom was quiet, but the music still seeped through the walls. The bass of the music kept thumping inside Kylo's chest, or was it his heart pounding in this moment? He couldn't tell and really didn't want to take the time to figure it out.

Sheer, white fabric was draped everywhere to decorate the hallway just as it was done inside the ball room. Many tall, silver candelabrums adorned with what seemed like hundreds of white candles were the only light around. They passed a couple of lovers, kissing in the hallway. They were almost in the same position he and Aayla were in just moments before, except the man and woman were already enjoying each other. Her leg was hitched around one of his hips, her dress pushed up, and his body was thrusting into her. Kylo couldn't make out who they were, and he didn't care. He turned back to see Aayla, and he watched her eyes stay on the lovers as they passed. He squeezed her hand to refocus her gaze back to him.

"Follow me," he uttered softly.

He had no idea where to take her; he just took a turn down another darkened hallway that seemed to be enough out of the way. His body needed hers, and he didn't want to spend time looking for something that gave one hundred percent privacy. The end of the hallway had an decent-sized alcove that was big enough for a table that had a tall vase of flowers on top of it. Kylo also assessed that a couple of bodies would fit there nicely as well.

"Here?" she asked, leaning against the table. Her breathing sounded shallow, and he could relate. He hadn't been able to catch a full breath since he saw her gold dress enter the room.

He nodded his head _yes_ and closed the short distance between them. He didn't go to kiss her, even though he wanted to. He'd do his best to do what she wanted. His eyes caught her cleavage peeking out from the dress, taunting him and begging to be touched. He wanted to cup her and feel her nipples pebble beneath his fingers. He felt overwhelmed by her and had to figure out what he desired to do with her first. He was good at making lists.

That was when he decided he wanted to remove her mask. He needed to see the beautiful face that was concealed before he touched her in places that were hidden beneath her dress. He had to see more of her, the one he'd be fucking on the table.

Kylo had barely touched the feathers of her mask when her head shook off his hands; he felt rejected for the second time tonight. Usually he'd seethe in anger at not being able to call the shots, (he didn't remember a time when he wasn't in charge) but this girl made him want more from her, and he'd obey her. "Masks on," she voiced quietly.

"Okay then," he agreed. On a whim, he left her body and tore a long strip of material off fabric that was hanging from the nearest candelabrum, wrapping it around one of his hands. _She couldn't be the only one in control tonight,_ he thought to himself. Her sexy body leaning against the table spurred him on, and he knew if he wasn't inside her soon, he would combust.

He could feel her watching his every move as he surveyed her, and he quickly needed the table cleared off, and he heard her gasp when he pushed the vase and flowers to the floor where it made a loud crashing sound. Keeping his eyes on her, he didn't care to see the mess he made. Her gaze broke from his, looking at the shards of glass from the vase and broken flowers scattered across the expensive carpet.

Taking her face in his large hand, he tilted her chin up to him, fixating her eyes back to him . "Turn around," he commanded, his voice never getting above a whisper, and she did as he told her. He admired her toned shoulders and the way her ass looked in the sparkling material. He would like this view as he took her from behind.

The soft linen began to unravel in his hands, and as he pulled it tightly, it made a snapping noise. Her shoulders jumped, and he enjoyed the way she responded. Being a little jumpy meant her body was alert and ready for what was to come.

His body pressed up behind hers, and he slowly brought the material around her eyes and began to blindfold her. He had to bend a few of the feathers on her mask when tying the knot behind her head, but she didn't seem to care. He followed the descent of one of the feathers that had broken off and fell to the floor. It just added to the mess he was making.

"Bend over," he demanded again, and he smiled when she laid herself chest down on the table, leaving her ass in front off him.

"Oh," escaped her mouth when he gently kicked her legs apart, making himself a spot behind her. He slid his hands down her bare arms, feeling the goosebumps form as he did. Taking the long ends of the blindfold that were left over, he began to tie her hands together until she broke his grip.

"No," was all she uttered, and he didn't fight it. He watched as her hands went back to gripping the table. He assumed she needed somewhere to anchor herself when he finally was able to take her. He wouldn't be gentle, so she would need to hold on to something.

He got to his knees and was ready to start revealing the rest of her beautiful body to him. His fingers gathered the bottom of her dress and began inching it up her thighs. He took his time, feeling her warm flesh beneath his hands. He soon brought her dress up above her waist. What he found had him frozen.

For his entire life, black was his color of choice. He only drove expensive, black cars; wore only tailored, black suits; preferred black dresses on attractive women; and loved the black of night. Tonight, however, his preference had changed. He believed he'd never look at the color blue the same again.

On the most perfect ass he'd ever seen was a pair of blue panties that made him pay homage to the designer of this particular piece of lingerie. The way the material criss-crossed over the top of her firm ass made him speechless. The tiny strip of lace curved just so over the roundness of her butt, and it made his cock twitch in anticipation. Trailing his fingers back and forth over the blue lace, he heard her hum a small moan. Knowing his touch illicited such a response from her turned him on and had him ready for more.

Kylo took the delicate fabric and hooked it with his thumbs, sliding it down her shapely legs. Aayla helped him take off the small panties by lifting her heels and allowing him to remove them off her body completely. He slid her panties in his pocket, keeping them as a token of this night.

He rested his hands on the outside of her legs and began kissing his way up her inner right thigh. He left wet kisses and puffed tiny breaths where his lips had been. Aayla's body tensed as he worked his way upwards.

"Oh," was all she whispered. He loved torturing her and wanted to taste her, but his need to be buried inside her overcame his will to lick and tease her more. Maybe he'd save that for next time?

Kylo stood behind her bare ass and gripped her hips, admiring her from this vantage point. His fingers were drawn to her wet folds, and he began sliding them back and forth, enjoying the feel of her slickness. She was wet just for him.

"Please," was all she had to say to make him begin. Her body begged for his.

He took a condom out from his pocket and then quickly unbuttoned his black pants. Pushing his boxer briefs down, he finally released his cock from the confines of his clothing, and then placed the condom on in record speed. Kylo centered himself at her entrance and pulled her hips to him.

He paused for a moment and relished her beauty. Pretty soon, he'd only be concerned with making himself come. He at least wanted to remember her in that brief moment.

"Please," he heard her beg again.

In one swift thrust, he was inside her tightness. It enveloped him and made him take pause, letting the pleasure engulf him. He slowly pulled himself out and pushed back inside her a little harder and filled her completely. His throat let out a low moan of pleasure. No one had ever felt this good around his cock. Aayla was well on her way of winning the prize for ridding his mind of Rey, but nothing could prepare him for what happened next.

"Bloody hell," Aayla screamed when he had filled her completely. Out of nowhere a strong, British accent escaped.

In a moment of alarm, he tried to shake off the sound of the familiar voice he could never forget. _It couldn't be,_ he tried to reassure himself. _She's not supposed to be here. Book club meeting. Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

 _"_ Don't stop, Ben," she urged again in her British accent, not knowing his mind was blown from what he was piecing together. The more he watched her, the more he realized the truth, and bloody hell was right. It. Was. Rey.

Here she was in front of him, letting him fuck her. It wasn't right. She wasn't that kind of girl, was she? It turned him on and made him angry all at the same time. The thought that kept him sane most nights was that she wasn't out in the world sleeping with random men. As long as he could keep her virginal persona alive in his mind, he was safe and wouldn't have to compete with anyone else. He could go on lusting after her from afar. Not having her was sufficient because no one else was in the picture. But now that he knew she was sleeping with a random stranger, albeit him, it made his world flip upside down. Her soft voice broke through his deep thoughts.

"Please, Ben. Don't stop," her fake voice now called out to him.

His fingers that dug deeply into her flesh around her hips let up a bit. He didn't want to bruise her flawless skin. Now that it was Rey _,_ his demeanor changed all together. Once needing this woman to help rid his mind of _her,_ he actually had _her_ right in front of him, and he was already balls deep inside her.

"Fuck," he whispered, and began pushing in and out of her gently, doing what she asked. Before, he was ready to go fast and hard, but now he wanted to make it last. He may only get one night with her, and he was going to do his best to relish every moment.

He watched as she writhed on the table every time he filled her to the hilt, and he noticed how her mouth formed itself into an oval when she moaned in pleasure. Kylo made sure to memorize the swivel of her hips when she pressed back into his thrusts. God, she was amazing and better than anything he could ever dream up.

"Oh, Ben...harder...harder," she cried, and he could sense her climax coming. Even though he wanted to make this rendezvous last all night, he couldn't keep nature from taking its course. Once he got rougher with her, he'd surely come in no time flat.

The force of his pushing increased, making him clench his grip on her harder, pushing her ass into him. The sound of skin on skin rocked in motion with the beat of the music from the gala. One of his hands meandered to her lower belly, searching for her magic spot. He wanted her to come and come hard, and he knew just how to do it.

"Oh...Ben. Yes!" she screamed as his middle finger began to play with her sensitive clit. He watched as her back arched and her palms pressed against the table. Hearing her moans and whimpers were sending him over the edge. He pussy began milking his cock. He knew she was there.

"Oh...ung...Ben...oh, Ben..." was all she said before her body stilled beneath his.

A guttural moan escaped from the lower part of his chest as he thrust into her forcefully one last time, spilling everything he had inside her.

Their labored breathing was drowned out from the noise of the gala, and it took a few minutes for the two of them to move. He had to lean on the table in order to stay standing because his legs had become incredibly weak. How the hell was he supposed to drive home after this. Maybe she'd go home with him?

Kylo laughed at that thought. She'd flee in disgust if she knew it were him behind the mask, and he couldn't have her hating him even more. He needed her to believe he was a one-night-stand who fucked her at the gala, never to be seen again. It killed him to pretend he was still the guy named Ben, and not who he really was.

"What's so funny?" she asked. He reluctantly released himself from inside her. He then watched her pull her dress back down her over perfect ass. Hopefully she wouldn't care about the panties he kept in his pocket. Her hands then moved behind her head to remove the blindfold, but he immediately stopped her from doing so.

"Um, nothing's funny. Don't!" he called out.

Her hands fought his for a moment, and then she quickly acquiescenced and let the blindfold stay.

"You have more planned?" she cooed.

 _Fuck. Me._ Player Kylo would've said yes. The Kylo that wanted Rey to keep her dignity and not find out she slept with the guy she thought was a jerk put the brakes on the whole situation.

"I wish I could stay, but I have to go."

"You do?" Her voice sounded disappointed.

"Yeah, I do," he lied.

"Will I see you again?" she asked. He could hear her trying to keep up her American accent, but the British couldn't help but seep in.

"You want to see me again?" He questioned, surprised.

"Yes, but not tonight. Let's meet later in the week. Maybe by then I'll be ready for you to who I am without this mask." Her lips formed the radiant smile he had seen many times at work. Of course, those smiles were never directed towards him, so his chest swelled just a little knowing that particular smile was for him.

"Okay." _Kylo Ren, you're a horrible person for even entertaining this idea,_ he told himself.

Yet he didn't stop.

"Meet me at the little bistro on the corner of 6th and VeshokStreet. Thursday. 7pm. You know the one?" Her hand felt for his and found it. She wrapped her fingers in between his.

"Okay," was all he could say.

"You'll need to go get cleaned up, so you can go before me. I'll wait a few minutes before I leave." He realized she was calling all the shots again, which put him in unfamiliar territory.

"Why not just take off our masks now?" he asked stupidly, knowing if they did, he'd be toast. He kept his voice quiet as to not let her know it was him.

"Because this is the way it has to be. If our masks stay on, this fantasy is still in tact." She really loved that romance novel bull shit, didn't she?

He didn't respond. He just took one last chaste kiss from her lips. He'd forever remember how she smiled when he pulled away.

As he walked to the men's room, he buttoned his pants, and quickened his pace. He had no idea what just happened. All he knew is that he probably messed up any chance to be with Rey, and his plan to fuck someone to make him forget her had back fired big time.

If she hadn't filled his brain enough before, she now consumed his body and soul. He had slept with her, marking her as his, but she would never know. His goal of getting her out of his mind completely failed.

He hung out in the men's room longer than he should, making sure he gave her and ample time to leave. When he had finally gotten himself somewhat together, he quietly left the gala and the party goers who were still dancing the night away.

As he made his way out front, he reached in his pocket for the valet ticket to get his car brought around, and that was when he felt the silk of her panties in his pocket. He felt his chest constrict with unfamiliar pain. Kylo didn't know how he would ever get over Rey now.

~o~

I'm on tumblr. Link in profile.


	5. I'm Coming Out

"Rey, you're late."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I overslept, Chewy got out, and then I couldn't find my keys..." Rey kept explaining the reasons for her unusual tardiness. She hurriedly set her purse on an empty chair, pulled her sunglasses to the top of her head, and plopped herself down on the chair across from her best friend. She winced a bit as a bit a pain shot through her lower body. For a brief moment, she had forgotten about last night and Ben. She didn't scream _bloody hell_ when he had entered her for nothing. The soreness was the byproduct of a well-endowed man who was a fantastic lay.

"Calm down. You know, I'm as patient as they come. I can always drink mimosas while I wait. Yours should be on its way," Rose said as she waved down their server to get her friend her drink.

Rey and Rose had met for Sunday brunch since they graduated from college together. They became fast friends while at Taunul University and continued to make sure they kept it that way. They met on their first day of freshman camp, being the only two girls who signed up for the robotics club. They seemed to be their own little nerd club and had been inseparable ever since.

Sunday brunch was their thing. Even when they lived in different cities, they made the effort to see one another and to catch up on their busy lives in person and not only through their smart phones. Rey and Rose never forgot how their weekly get togethers at one time consisted of eating stale donuts from the only hole-in-the-wall coffee shop they could afford before they had any money. Now, Rose owned her own blossoming flower shop, and Rey was a VP at a prosperous corporation headed by the billionaire, Luke Skywalker. Life sure had changed from a few years ago.

"Actually, I'm going to get one of those crazy Bloody Mary concoctions they serve here. I'm in the mood for some vodka with a side of bacon." Rey shifted in her seat again, trying to get comfortable. It proved to be difficult because it had been a long time since an actual dick had been inside her lady parts. She'd never felt a man like Ben before-not only was he blessed with his male anatomy, but he was big in all other areas as well. She couldn't stop thinking about Ben and how she wanted to see him again.

Rey glanced over the menu, chewing on her already short fingernail, and she couldn't keep from smiling. Her thoughts kept going back to the stranger she met last night. Never had she been so reckless, but she didn't regret one moment. It felt good to become Aayla and be someone else. Rey was so responsible and predictable, and being Aayla allowed her to act on her fantasies. She was also thankful that the desire for Kylo had at least been satisfied for now. Fucking Ben on a table helped push her thoughts of her coworker to the back of her mind, for a little while, at least.

She had other reasons for keeping Kylo at arm's length. Rey's broken heart was still mending, even though it'd had been six months since the break up. She couldn't even think of entertaining the idea of dating a man like Kylo when she had just gotten out of a relationship with a really nice guy. Kylo seemed to be quite the opposite.

Her old boyfriend, Poe, wanted her to stay with him and not move to Hannah City for her new promotion. He wanted to marry her, but he wanted to live in his hometown of Yavin and build a life there. Her aspirations were too big for a man who wanted a simple life with a wife who stood by his side. Poe was a good man, and any woman would've jumped at his proposal. Except Rey. She felt a pull to do something greater, and moving to Hannah City and taking the job with Skywalker Enterprises was her start.

She could feel Rose's eyes on her, which made Rey a little uncomfortable. Rose knew her better than anyone. They'd been through college, boyfriends, breakups, a wedding, and everything else the best of friends experience together. Rey knew it wouldn't take long for Rose to figure out what happened last night.

"What can I get for you ladies this morning?" the server asked, interrupting the uncomfortable stare Rose was giving her friend. Rey was silently thankful that Rose's eyes weren't seeing into her soul at the moment.

"I'll have the big Bloody Mary and the chicken and waffles, please," Rey answered and handed the menu to the young woman.

"Another mimosa and the ratatouille toast with fried eggs," Rose spoke, not even looking at the person standing beside her taking her order. "Keep the drinks coming, please," Rose commanded, pausing for a moment.

Rose looked like she was about to burst, waiting for the server to get out of ear shot. "You had sex!" she yelled. Her trying to be discreet failed miserably.

"What?" Rey answered, trying to act innocent, but her best friend wasn't buying it. Rey was impressed with how little time it took Rose to figure it out.

"Well, let's see. You've moped around since you moved here and immersed yourself in your work. You haven't smiled much since you left Poe, and here you are beaming. And by the looks of how you can't sit down comfortably, and the fact that you're eating like a horse, I'd say someone fucked you good."

Rey just stared back at her friend. "Damn, you're good."

"And it's about time! Please tell me everything! I need a little spice in my life. I'm an old married woman now," Rose voiced, patting Rey's hand.

"I'd hardly say you have no spice in your life. You and Finn can hardly keep your hands off each other. It's sickening really."

Rose just sighed, obviously thinking about what Rey said. "Yes, Finn is so amazing, but I've bored you to death with all of our sexy times. I want to hear about yours. You've had a little bit of a drought."

"You're unbelievable. Only you can compare my sex life to a drought."

"So it's true then? The drought is over? " Rose's eyebrows went up inquisitively.

Rey felt a burning sensation rise from her gut and spread to her limbs. She knew Rose would notice the flush of her skin. She had no idea why she was embarrassed talking about it with Rose. She was first one Rey told when she lost her virginity, the first one she got drunk with, the first one to understand what it was like to come from nothing, and the first and only one she trusted with her life.

Rey nodded her head yes and was thankful for the drinks their young server put in front of them. She placed her lips around the straw and took a big gulp.

"Oh my God! It was that Kylo, wasn't it?"

Rey couldn't help but spit a little of her drink out on the table at the mention of him.

"Why would you say something awful like that?" Rey looked at her best friend, stunned by her assumption.

"Well, isn't it? I thought that if you'd finally sleep with anyone after Poe, it'd be him."

"Kylo hates me and just antagonizes me. He'd never actually be interested in me."

"You are so blind, my sweet Rey," Rose just shook her head back and forth is dismay.

"And how am I blind, Wise One?" Rey took another drink, needing the vodka to help calm her nerves.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about all this, but you don't answer your phone anymore, and I only get one-word responses when I text you." Rey didn't like the look of disappointment of Rose's face. She'd been a horrible friend lately.

"Work's been so busy lately. We're rolling out the new servers to accommodate our growth, and I-"

"He came into my shop and asked about you," Rose interrupted. Rey's head shot up in surprise.

"He did what?" Rey forgot about explaining her busy work life after hearing he came to Rose, asking questions.

"Last week. He came in, asked some questions about my flowers, and then he started talking about you. He wasn't really good at pretending to be in the shop to order flowers, but he bought a dozen bouquets for God knows what this week. Obviously he knew we were friends and was there because of you. He's not much of a talker. He's got that I'm-wounded-but-I'm-attractive-and-looking-for-love vibe. He wants you."

"He does not..." Rey could never believe he'd be interested in a plain girl like her, but suddenly she was interested to know about his visit. "What did he want to know?"

"If you were seeing anyone." Rose took a sip of her mimosa and smiled like she did when Rose told Rey about how she fell in love with Finn, her college sweetheart.

"He flat out asked you that?"

"Yep. He doesn't seem to be the beat-around-the-bush type."

"What did you tell him?" Rey sat on the edge of her seat, forgetting Ben for a moment.

"That's the funny thing. I told him everything. I didn't mean to, but there was something about his eyes that made me spill the beans. I am so sorry, but he was so weirdly endearing that I couldn't help it."

"I kind of know the feeling. It's okay, Rose. I'm not that exciting, so he probably wasn't impressed"

"He seemed pretty happy that you weren't seeing anyone. Hell, I even told him about Whiskers and Chewy. That's how mesmerizing he was. Don't tell Finn I fell under another man's spell." Rose smiled.

"That's how he knew I had cats. He's a sneaky bastard, for sure. He's probably only peppering you for information, so he can use it against me," Rey reasoned. He couldn't possibly be like her. "I hate to disappoint you, but I didn't sleep with Kylo." She tried to make herself believe she was happy it wasn't Kylo.

Rose did look disappointed, but her eyes got large when she saw their food being delivered to their table. "Please tell me everything," Rose demanded as she started to cut up her food.

"His name is Ben, and as soon as I walked in the door, he was there." Rey went on to describe the night and the little meet up she had with the guy that swept her off her feet. Rose sat across from her, hanging on to every word, and seemed a little surprised to hear the story that came out of Rey's mouth.

"Please tell me you were careful," Rose asked.

"We were," Rey answered quietly. "You're upset with me, aren't you." Rey couldn't stand the look Rose was giving her. She knew her friend too well, and knew she'd have something to say about it.

"Okay. At least you were safe, but I need you to be careful. I don't know what's gotten into you because this isn't the Rey I know. At least let me be there at the bistro on Thursday. I'll sit a few tables over and be ready to help if things go south."

"Rose, you don't need to worry. I'll be fine," Rey responded to her friend, hoping it would indeed be fine.

"Okay, just text me before you meet, when he gets there, and then let me know everything that you're doing for the rest of the night. I don't want you to end up on the eleven o'clock news."

"Yes, Mom," Rey answered sarcastically and dug in to her chicken and waffles. Rose was right-after a night of hot sex, she was ravenous.

~o~

"He has my deliveries." A rush of wind from a quickly opened door blew through Rey's office.

"Maz, who has what deliveries?" Rey asked her IT Director who barged in her office without even saying a hello this Thursday morning.

"I've been expecting the new keyboards, monitors, and bits and pieces for our department, and the delivery service called and said _he_ signed for them," Maz added, looking perturbed.

"Who is _he?"_ Rey asked again, wanting to get back to work. The Skywalker Executive Retreat was this weekend, and she'd be missing an entire Friday of work to go. Meeting up with Ben tonight was another motivator for her. She would try to get everything done by 5 o'clock today, but running all the moving pieces of an IT department was going to make it difficult. There were always little fires to put out.

Like someone taking Maz's delivery.

"That monster on the tenth floor."

Rey swiveled her chair around and quit typing. She obviously needed to concentrate to figure out who this monster was and why he had Maz's equipment.

"I have no idea to whom you are referring, Maz. Can't you just go and get your precious delivery. Why do you have to come to me?" Rey wondered. She was a VP for goodness sake. This problem didn't sound like something she should have to deal with.

"Mr. Ren has it, and I refuse to get it from him."

Mr. Ren. Kylo Ren. She now had Rey's full attention.

"Why do you call him a monster?" Rey inquired. She'd worked her for six months, and Kylo being called by this name was a first for her ears. Her being out of the loop was more proof she worked too much and didn't pay attention to things going on around her.

"It's what everyone down here calls him. We don't usually use it around the executives," she held her hand up to the side of her mouth as if dispersing a secret. "I mean, he has the personality of a snail, he never smiles, and with that scar, he's just unnerving. I choose not to deal with him. I figure that my VP could take care of it for me." Maz took pause, stiffened her tiny body, and pointed a wrinkled finger up to her boss. "They don't look at you funny when you walk around the tenth floor. I stick out like a sore thumb." Maz's eyes looked large behind her thick glasses. Rey didn't know how old her employee was, but she knew Maz was ancient when Mr. Skywalker hired her when the company was in its infancy.

Rey didn't really have the time to take a break in her day to go retrieve the delivery, and she very well could have sent someone else from the first floor, but for some reason, she decided to be a life saver and do Maz this favor. It had nothing to do with finding the monster, as they called him, sexy as hell and a puzzle to figure out.

"Okay, Maz. I'll go, but you owe me," Rey sighed, pretending to be annoyed.

A glutton for punishment, Rey checked her lips in the mirror in her office before she left for the elevator. The red lipstick she bought the other night didn't need reapplying just yet. Ever since her night at the gala, something girly had awakened in her. Knowing she'd be seeing Ben tonight lit a fire inside her that had long been dormant. Closing the chapter of her life with Poe made her shut any chance of finding love again. Ben helped her see that she needed to live a little-find a balance between working and actual living.

It had been a few days since her brunch with Rose and the talk of Kylo. She had done a good job of not thinking about him as much, since Ben came into play, and she had pretty much downplayed Kylo's visit to the flower shop. Not running into him this entire week had also helped her mental state. Hopefully she could make it a quick meeting where she would get Maz's stuff and leave.

She fluffed her hair a little, realizing that not many people at work had seen her without her trademark bun. All week she'd been sporting the natural wavy look, leaving her brown locks down for a change. She couldn't believe that this was the first time all week she'd leave the first floor, the IT dungeon, as many called it.

Why she she was excited to see Kylo today of all days when she had a hot date tonight was beyond comprehension. _All work and no play makes Rey a dull girl_ , she thought to herself and laughed. She didn't want to be dull anymore.

~0~

 _I'm coming out.  
I want the world to know.  
Got to let it show._

As Rey stepped off the elevator on the tenth floor, she channeled the feminine swagger of Diana Ross who played through her ear buds. Her anxiety got the best of her when she traveled out of her comfort zone (the first floor), and playing her music helped calm the churning in her stomach. She tried to step with confidence and not stumble in her new Jimmy Choos. Knowing she was going to talk to a man who made her brain quit thinking properly scared her a bit, but not seeing him scared her even more.

"Rey?" A bewildered Hux called out as he bolted from his office, banging his knee on a low-lying filing cabinet. "Shit."

Focused on her music and getting to Kylo's office, Rey didn't realize that the redheaded man called out to her. Her forward motion stopped when he blocked the hallway, almost running into him. He stood merely a few feet away from her. He had never willingly approached her before just to be social.

"Yes?" she questioned, taking off her headphones, she was a little disgruntled that he interrupted Ms. Diana Ross and her trying to get psyched up to meet with Kylo.

"What brings you here this morning?" he asked as he buttoned his suit coat and flattened out the wrinkles. Rey wasn't in the mood to make small talk with him. Why would he care that she was here right now? She'd walked these hallways hundreds of times, and never once did Hux look up from his laptop at her.

"I need to talk to..." She trailed off, looking in the direction of Kylo's office. His door was open, and she could see him, sitting behind his large desk.

Her eyes found his, and she could feel his stare piercing through her. _How long has he been looking this way?_

"...Kylo. I need to speak with him. Excuse me." She rushed away from Hux, not needing to continue the awkward conversation. She tried to shake the feeling of Hux watching her walk away. Was it the skirt she wore? It wasn't short, hitting right above her knee, but it was shorter than the ones she normally wore. _Stupid men_. Slap on some red heels and a short skirt, and they become bumbling idiots.

Then she kept walking towards another man whose gaze she valued a bit more.

"Hey," she quietly uttered as she knocked on the frame of his office door before entering his office. She noticed a beautiful bouquet of flowers on his windowsill and tried to hide a smile.

"Hello." He offered back without any emotion. His voice seemed bothered by her presence, but the eyes that stared at her seemed to say otherwise.

"You have a delivery of mine. I need to get it before Maz goes crazy." Rey took a step towards his large mahogany desk. He didn't budge from his chair.

"Isn't she already crazy?" Kylo pronounced and then scooted himself under his desk more, never breaking eye contact with her.

"She is but that's what makes her great. The company would fall apart if it weren't for her." Rey watched as Kylo took her words a mulled them around in his head; both of his hands spread out fully on his desk where she noted some slight twitching. The space they took up on his work space didn't escape her notice.

As if he knew she were admiring his hands, he moved them to his lap. Rey couldn't help but think that he looked uncomfortable with her presence. C _ould he really be repulsed by being in the same room with me?_ Kylo looked pained, and she couldn't quite figure out what was going on in that brilliant head of his. He might be an ass hole, but Rey gave credit when credit was due.

Kylo was head of the sales and marketing department for the alternative energy company. Rey knew that he had single-handedly taken Skywalker Enterprises to the next level over the past five years, making them a legitimate competitor of the big-time fossil fuel companies. She found it ironic that the man she now knew they called "the monster" was the new face of the company, cutting deals and expanding their market. Mr. Skywalker was becoming involved less and less. Rey didn't know the details of what went on behind the scenes with the other executives. Her department was her focus, which kept her employed in a job she loved, and that was all she cared about.

"I'll take your word for it." She watched as Kylo took a deep breath and stood. She could feel the coldness of his body language as he hurriedly brushed passed her and left his office. Usually he acted cocky in front of her, making her angry. She never realized how much she enjoyed their banter until he wasn't participating in it anymore.

She stared at his retreating figure, not knowing what to do.

"Are you coming or not?" he called out, not even turning around. Apparently that was her cue to follow.

They waited in silence for the elevator. Neither one looked the other's way. He stood straight as a board with his hands clasped in front of him. It seemed like forever before the doors finally opened for them.

"Ladies first," he spoke again with no feeling and let her go ahead of him. Rey stood in the middle with her eyes forward whereas Kylo took a spot in the back corner after pushing the button for the first floor. Her floor. Rey's annoyance with this whole situation started to show.

"You could've called and let me know the delivery was on my floor. I didn't have to bother you by coming to your office," she snapped.

"I know." Clearly, he couldn't care less about inconveniencing her.

This situation did seem fishy to her. It were as if he purposefully took her delivery to see her in some twisted way. She immediately banished that thought from her mind because it couldn't possibly be true. If he wanted anything to do with her, he wouldn't be acting as if she had the plague at this very moment.

The tension in the elevator hung in the air between them. She'd take the bad-mannered Kylo over the silent-treatment Kylo any day.

She even recalled a time soon after she was hired when he got cheeky with her. At a happy hour after work on evening, he told her in front of many co-workers that she must have run off her previous boyfriend because of how frigid she was. Not knowing if he actually knew about her recent split from Poe, she didn't care. Kylo had crossed the line, and she immediately told him to _buggar off,_ and she left the bar in tears, but Rey made sure he didn't see her cry. After that day, his insults didn't cut as deeply, and she weirdly appreciated it.

The elevator stopped on the seventh floor, and a stream of people filled the once empty space, pushing Rey closer to the large man brooding in the corner with his arms stretched out along the hand rails. Thankful that she still was able to stand without having to touch him, she breathed a sigh of relief. The closer she got to him, the more nervous she became. That was until the elevator picked up a few more people on the fifth floor.

She could feel him shift his body to accommodate her backing into him. Settling in front of one of his outstretched arms, she tried not noticing how her body tingled at the contact with just his arm. _Are those_ _his fingers lightly rubbing my hip?_ she wondered. Her body couldn't help but inch towards his side as the crowd in the elevator seemed to shift; his fingers were still on her. Feeling him so close caused her body to stiffen. Panic began to seep in. If this was how she reacted being next to him, he probably was right when he called her frigid months ago.

They stood together in the back of the busy elevator motionless, staring straight ahead. She tried to pretend she wasn't feeling the warmth emanate from his body. How could he be so cold to her but feel this hot? Her short-sleeved blouse and short skirt made it feel like she was wearing a parka in the Jakku dessert. His fingers were barely touching her, but she was acutely aware of the contact.

As the elevator finally stopped on the first floor, she hesitated to move away from him as the crowd exited. She couldn't even step away from him when they were the only two left inside. It were as if a magnetic pull kept her attached to him, and she didn't want to leave. She wondered if he was feeling the same way. The thought of riding the elevator all day like this seemed to be an okay proposition to her. The doors began to shut, and their brief moment was interrupted by someone getting on the elevator.

Kylo took a step toward the panel of buttons, breaking his contact with her except for those fingers that found themselves wandering to the small of her back, gently pushing her towards the door. She watched as he pushed the button to keep the doors open. Finally able to think a little through the haze of him being so close to her, her head turned to look up at Kylo before she exited the small room. She briefly caught his eyes with hers but then her gaze meandered down the long scar that began above his eye and stopped somewhere along his neck. She licked her lips thinking about running her tongue along its grooves, wondering if he'd like that. She realized that she must be the twisted one because she evidently was obsessed with that damn scar.

His body bent down to her small frame, and she felt his breath on her ear.

"I left your packages at the front desk," he whispered. "You better go get them before Maz gets upset." Her breath hitched, feeling the hum of his low voice tickle her skin. Kylo then nudged her forward with is large hand.

Rey stepped out of the elevator and turned to him, completely bewildered by what just happened.

"Aren't you coming?" she asked, raking her fingers through her hair and trying to get herself back in control. He had begun to short circuit her wires with just a small touch. What if his hands actually caressed her body? How would she even survive it?

"No," he responded, and then the doors closed. Then the blood in her body began to boil. No one could turn her on and make her mad at the same time. Next time she saw him, she'd ask him why he even bothered to even be around her when he couldn't stand her. Kylo seemed to leave her with more questions about him than answers.

Then a buzz from a text broke her from her raging thoughts of him.

 _Where's my delivery?_

It was Maz. Rey looked at the time and realized she needed to get a move on. She had a long list of things to do today, and only a few hours to do them. She'd even work through lunch to make it happen.

Her thoughts reluctantly shifted from Kylo to Ben. Rey wanted to make it to the bistro tonight to see if her fantasy could become a reality, but dammit if Kylo wasn't messing with her fairy tale.

~o~

Next up is Kylo's point-of-view and the meet up at the bistro. Are you excited? Because I am.

I would love to hear from more of you out there. I see you're reading, but I don't get a lot of reviews. :D

I usually post my next chapter first on ao3, and there's a chance it will be exclusively on that site because of the explicit nature of the story.


	6. A Girl Like You

"You give me just a taste, so I want more.

Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw.

'Cause now you've got me crawlin', crawlin' on the floor,

And I've never known a girl like you before."

~A Girl Like you by Edwyn Collins

~o~

Her red lips wrapped around his cock. He felt her teeth raking across his length, adding a bit of pain with the pleasure. She took him fully in her mouth, moaning as she did. He watched through hooded lids her naked body kneeling before him, bobbing her head back and forth over his needy cock. He fisted her hair but let her dictate the force in which to took him. She didn't need any help. He could feel himself getting closer to coming, and she worked him harder as if she sensed it as well. She slid him out of her mouth and began stroking him with her grip, twisting her hand back and forth just so. Her small breasts bounced a bit as she worked his length back and forth. Her tongue then swirled around his tip, tracing the head. Her big, hazel eyes looked up to him.

"Come for me, Kylo," she whispered in his fantasy.

Kylo's hand pumped vigorously on his aching cock. He hadn't seen Rey in five days, and he had become desperate. Signing for a delivery to the IT department was asinine and childish, but he knew Maz wouldn't come to his office from their past history. He took a gamble and hoped Rey would be the one he got to deal with, and he was right.

He just wasn't expecting _that R_ ey. The one who owned the tenth floor like a boss, strutting in her tall heels and wearing that damn red lipstick. He had prepared himself for IT Rey. Clear-lip-gloss Rey. Wearing layers-of-clothing Rey. Not hotter-than-normal Rey. She'd even caught the eye of Hux. Kylo didn't like him talking to her at all. Not one bit.

He knew she was sexy as hell every day she came to work, but this Rey who was brazen took him aback. When she stood a mere few feet from him, he had to focus on containing himself. He couldn't move from behind his desk because of the growing problem he had in his pants. She didn't need to see him standing at attention. He had the blessing and the curse of having a big dick. The blessing was that he knew how to use his gift very well, but the curse was that there was no hiding what was happening underneath his desk.

He thought he could be close to her and help with the big delivery for Maz, but he underestimated his ability to abstain from touching her. He had been inside her, felt her soft curves, and heard her scream with pleasure when she came. Knowing those things about her was proving to be a problem, and his body couldn't handle it. The elevator ride was torture.

He couldn't shake her, and that was why he hightailed it back to the tenth floor to a private bathroom to take care of business before he burst. To come here was the reason he left her confused back on the first floor. He wanted to fuck her in the elevator, but public sex was usually frowned upon at one's place of work. She also would've kicked him in the balls for trying anything with her. She had no idea that he was actually Ben.

He groaned, tightening his grip. A few more pumps, and he'd be there. The last image of his fantasy of her flashed in his mind. Her wetting her lips with her tongue as she worked him over with her hand was all it took for him to finish. He imagined her taking him in her mouth one last time, swallowing as he spilled into her mouth. Then she smiled that smile up at him, and he was absolutely spent.

It took a few moments for him to catch his breath and then bitter reality set in. The realization that he was alone, standing with one hand on the cold wall and the other hand on his dick, was enough to make his insides churn again. He was tired of being by himself.

He quickly got himself cleaned up (also the wall and the floor) and turned on the faucet, but splashing cold water on his face didn't help shake the thoughts of Rey. He realized that jacking off with his own hand only eased the need for her infinitesimally. Even after his climax, there was still a dull ache left behind. He wanted the feeling he had after they had sex at the gala. After he realized who she was and got to finish inside her, a girl that actually mattered to him, he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time-a calm in his soul. Sure, he was confused after their tryst as to what the hell he was doing, but his brain was actually quiet for a change. Being inside his head was a fate no one wanted.

Kylo had searched for years for someone to help ease the turmoil inside his brain, and he had slept with many women looking for a connection to no avail. Until Rey. He didn't even know that another person could ever connect to him like she did, and she didn't even have a clue how he felt. She was a light that pulled him to her and calmed the monster inside.

He slid his hand in his right pocket to run his fingers through the silk she had worn beautifully at the gala. Besides jacking off when the urge for her became too strong, keeping her panties in his pocket proved to be a sick, security blanket. For the past five days, it was a staple on his person, just like his wallet and keys.

Since he met her, he had done a bang up job of letting her know he liked her. Apparently the player who had all the game in the world with other women had no game when it came to Rey. He channeled his fifteen-year-old-boy playbook to use with her, which wasn't going to work on an intelligent, grown woman. He knew he needed to stop making her mad and being rude to her. He was sure that if he didn't change the inertia of things, pulling her hair as he sat behind her in Geometry class would be next on his to-do list.

He had a pansy-ass excuse for acting the way he did around her-he was scared. Never one for commitment and relationships, he felt something beyond sex with her. Kylo found himself imagining making her breakfast in the mornings and taking trips with her by his side. He'd never thought of any woman like that before, and it put him in foreign territory. Really foreign territory. He had never been in a relationship, and he wanted one with Rey.

He had no idea who he was anymore.

All week long he'd thought of their meeting tonight at the bistro and what he planned to do. Thousands of scenarios played through his head, and almost all of them ended with Rey yelling at him and storming off—rightfully so.

At this moment his only plan was that he didn't have one. Would he let her know that he was actually Ben? How would that scenario play out? Or would he just make it a chance meeting and swoop in to save the day after Ben stood her up?

He hoped inspiration would strike soon because time was running out.

~o~

He chose the black Porsche tonight because it was small and easy to park in downtown Hannah City where finding a parking spot was always a nightmare. He circled the block a few times, making sure he found a place close enough to view the bistro but far enough away to be out of site. The actual name of the restaurant was a word in French that no one ever tried to pronounce unless they were well-versed in the language. Most just said _the bistro_ and knew to which restaurant they were referring. He hardly ever ate here, but was going to act like he did. He finally had made a plan-lie through his teeth.

"I'd like to pick up a to-go order," Kylo told the hostess at the station outside on the patio. He had phoned in an order not but fifteen minutes ago from his car. He had watched Rey arrive promptly at seven where she took a seat out front in the corner table. The sun had already set, so the soft-lit candles set a nice ambiance on this clear night. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked, wearing casual clothes and her hair down. He'd never seen her in skinny jeans, and he liked them very much. He enjoyed the view of her ass in them from afar when she had arrived forty-five minutes ago.

Ben was late. In fact, Ben wasn't going to show.

Kylo pretended not to see Rey, sitting alone and sipping her second glass of wine for the night. He had turned into a pretty good stalker lately, so, of course, he knew how many drinks she had already had tonight.

"It'll be ready in a few minutes Mr. Ren. Can I get you a drink at the bar while you wait?" the hostess asked.

"Sure. I'll take any IPA you have on draft." When he finally looked over at her, her misty eyes looked back, and he could tell she was mortified that he was here. Now was the time to try and right all his wrongs. Saying a quick prayer to the gods that his words would be used for good and not evil, he shuffled through the tables and chairs to her.

"Meeting someone?" He asked as if he had no idea what she was doing here. _Play dumb, Kylo._

"I was supposed to, but it looks like I got stood up. It's just brilliant that you're here to see it," she agonized and was obviously not happy he stood next to her. He didn't expect to react to her quickly brushing what looked like a tear from her cheek. He didn't like seeing her cry. From the looks of it, she really looked forward to meeting this guy, and in a bizarre way, he was jealous of Ben and the effect he had on her.

"Only a jerk would stand you up. I'd never do that to you." _Could this get any worse?_ he thought to himself. He hated what he had to do to her in order to hopefully make things right. He avoided the blank stare she gave him and eyed the empty chair closest to her.

"Can I join you? At least until my food gets here?" he questioned and decided he wouldn't press his luck and make her think he wanted to stay for long. A server at that moment set his beer down on the table. "Or until I finish my beer. Promise I won't bother you any more than that. Is that okay with you?" he asked, hoping his luck would allow him to stay longer. As soon as she nodded a yes, he felt a sigh of relief. "Can I buy you another glass of wine?" He took the seat adjacent to her, and even though he was close enough to touch her, he had given her some space.

"That would actually be nice. Malbec, please," she told the server before he left.

"So, now that you know my dating life sucks, what are you doing here?" Rey finished off the last of her wine.

"I don't really cook, so I order out a lot. Thought I'd give this place a shot." He took a big sip of his beer and watched her play with the stem of her empty glass. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed between them.

"I don't know if it's me being upset at being stood up or the second glass of wine talking, but what is up with you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked dumbly.

"You know exactly what I mean," she said through gritted teeth; her British accent getting heavier. Then she flashed him that glare again. He was getting used to the daggers she shot his way tonight. "And where are the rest of the flowers you ordered? I saw one bouquet in your office." He was stupid to think her best friend wouldn't mention his little visit. The rest of the flowers were sent to the cemetery. He really wasn't going to talk about that.

The server brought Rey her wine, and Ben wasn't sure if he could handle her drinking anymore. She was angry and on her way to being tipsy. He was either in for a fun night, or he should be running away. Either way, he loved feisty Rey. She wasn't like all the other women who threw themselves at his feet. He enjoyed meeting his match.

Pressing his lips together in thought, he decided from this point forward she would know the truth about his feelings. Ben was out of the picture, and now he could focus on getting on her good side.

"You want the truth?" he asked.

"Yes," she uttered, looking at him with the eyes from his fantasies. She wasn't the only one who had them. He knew then that he'd do anything she wanted.

"The truth is...the truth..." He cleared his throat. Why was it so hard to let her know how he felt? He watched her take a big gulp of wine, and in that moment, he decided to hold nothing back. "I don't really want to talk about the flowers, but all I really know for certain is that I like you, Rey."

She quit drinking her wine and slowly set her glass down. "You like me?" she scoffed. "Well, you have a hell of a way of showing it." The air picked up a bit and her brown hair played in the wind. Her pursed lips and defiant stare took his breath away.

"God, you're beautiful." Her eyes widened at his unexpected comment. "I should've told you that a long time ago." Then the smallest smile spread across her lips but quickly disappeared.

"Kylo Ren thinks I'm beautiful? I never thought I'd ever hear those words come out of your mouth. Rose kept telling me you wanted me. I didn't believe her. Still quite don't."

Rose had spoken no truer words. He wanted her so badly it hurt. Rey had no idea.

"She's your best friend, right?" he asked. He leaned towards her across the corner of the small table, moving his hand towards hers that was playing with her wine glass.

"Yes, since college." Her hand stopped messing with her glass.

"And you trust her implicitly, I take it?" He kept moving towards her, and his hand found hers as he asked her the question.

"I do," she breathed, stiffening at his closeness but not moving away. He found that to be a victory.

"Rose is very perceptive, and you should believe everything she says. I do want you, Rey." He intertwined his fingers with hers, and she looked surprised but not scared. Her hand stayed linked with his. He hoped she wanted him, too. His thumb ran across the top of hers, and he saw her shiver. It was a good sign.

A man with a Kylo's to-go food who also had horrible timing abruptly set the food Kylo ordered right between them, not even noticing the chemistry going on with the man and the woman at the table. The employee had a job to do it, and evidently waiting for them to pull away from each other would take too long for the server's patience. Kylo gave him a death glare, and the delivery guy tucked his tail between he legs and ran off.

She gave a nervous snicker and pulled her hand away from his. She took her fingers and pulled the stray hairs behind her ears, and he could tell she was suddenly nervous.

"To be honest with you, I've had only one serious relationship in my life, and it's taken me a long time to get over..." she couldn't quite say Poe's name. "...over him. I don't know what to do around men I'm attracted to. That's why I act frigid around you, as you once told me." Rey wouldn't look at him; she just nervously began wringing a linen napkin in her hands.

"I'm sorry for calling you that. It was wrong."

"It's not wrong when it's the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts."

"It's not true. You're not frigid. You're anything but. I just haven't earned your trust for you to be yourself around me. I've been an asshole to you. I wouldn't like me either if I were you."

She laughed in agreement to his words.

"Will you let me show you I'm serious about wanting you?"

She didn't respond and just took another big gulp of her wine. It was getting time for another refill. After another sip of liquid courage, she shyly looked to him and whispered _yes_.

"I can start by buying you dinner and another glass of wine. We will go as slowly as you want. Maybe you'll let me drive you to the retreat tomorrow? We can take baby steps."

"Baby steps, huh? I can do that."

"Well then, are you hungry?" Kylo started digging in the bag filled with food he really wasn't going to eat.

"Famished. I haven't really eaten all day, and I worked through lunch to get caught up before the retreat. _Someone_ made it very difficult today to get things done."

He smiled at her and was happy she had given him a chance. He'd try his damnedest to prove to her he wanted her and to make her trust him.

An hour or so later, they had drank a few more rounds and had eaten his food. They talked about little things in their lives but didn't get into anything too serious.

"Can I take you home?" he offered as they stood up after he paid the bill.

"Whoa." Rey looked unbalanced as she got up from her chair. Her little frame had many glasses of wine tonight, and it seemed to catch up with her at that very moment. She gripped the chair to steady herself.

"I think I'll be fine." She answered, but he felt that she was just trying to convince herself she wasn't as drunk as she really was.

"Um, I'm not letting you drive home like that."

"I walked here, silly. I'm fiiinnee. It's just a couple of blocks."

"I know you can do many things on your own, but walking down the busy streets of downtown Hannah City isn't something I can let you do. It's just a walk home. You don't have to invite me inside."

She stood by her chair a moment and breathed in and out, seeming to gather herself. He'd wait all night.

"Okay, you can walk me home." He silently smiled at getting to spend a little more time with her.

"Just point me in the right direction," he told her as he grabbed her left arm and started down the street with her in tow. Of all the stalking he'd done lately, he never once dared to find out where she lived. He knew that if he did in fact know that information, then his car would be parked on the street like a cop on surveillance on Law and Order. He needed to be endearing, not creepy.

They didn't talk much in the fifteen minutes it took to get to the stoop of her town-home. She ended up holding on to him more and more the closer they got to her house.

"Those are a lot of stairrrsss," she slurred her speech a bit, stopping before she started climbing up the ten or so steps to her front door.

"Come on. We got this." Kylo began pulling her jello-like body to her door. Once they reached the door, he watched her fumble through her purse for a long time, trying to find what he assumed were her keys.

"Therrre you arrre." She looked genuinely surprised as she pulled her keys out like she'd just pulled the sword from the stone. She began laughing uncontrollably. He made sure he held on to her because she had become more and more unstable. Kylo had thoroughly enjoyed watching her let go a little bit tonight. He had never seen her laugh like this before, and he hoped he could hear that sound more.

"Can I just sit herrrre? I can go inside a minute. I'm sooo tired." He felt her body start dropping to her front stoop.

"No. No. That wouldn't be a good idea at night. Let me get you inside."

He took her keys from her, and it did not take him long to unlock her door. He could only imagine how long she would have taken in her state to find the keyhole and open the deadbolts.

Her town-home was simple with neutral-colored furnishings. It looked like someone's temporary residence, not their home. Not that her old-world town-home needed much to look nice. He knew this neighborhood, and she paid good money to live here. Whomever she bought this home from paid top dollar to renovate it. There were still a few moving boxes that were unpacked setting in her foyer. To his right was a tall staircase, which he assumed went to her bedroom. She hadn't hung any pictures on the walls either.

"This is my house," she did a big flourish with her arm and then fell into his big body. She hadn't passed out, but she no longer had the ability to stand on her own volition.

He bent down and easily swooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. Wanting to get her to her bed was his priority. Her head rested on his chest, and her fingers played with the skin around the collar of his button-up shirt. His dick started to twitch at her light touches, and willing it down was going to do no good.

"You have so many muscles. Her flat hand moved back and forth across the material of his shirt.

"I'm going to say something I could have sworn would never come out of my mouth, but you're going to have to quit touching me." She was drunk. There'd be no staying with her in her bed tonight, and he was okay with that. "But when you sober up, you can touch me all you want."

They entered the darkened room but didn't need a light. The moon beaming through her window gave him all the glow he needed to find his way around. He guessed her room had gray walls, but at night he couldn't really tell. Her white down comforter looked inviting, but he wouldn't be joining her, no matter how much his body wanted to. She hadn't made her bed, so it'd be easy to get her squared away for the night.

"Here you go. You need to get some sleep. I'll be down stairs if you need me." Weighing next to nothing, he easily slid her on her bed. He slipped her shoes off her feet and noticed her painted red toes. She must like that color. She didn't say much as she watched him take care of her, and it was all he could do to not slide right in with her.

"Out of all the women you could have, you want me. Why?" She asked him as he pulled her comforter over her small frame, tucking her in.

It took a moment for him to answer as he had to gather his thoughts and make sure he worded everything the right way. It didn't matter, though. Kylo watched drunk Rey close her eyes and saw her chin shift slowly down to her pillow. He listened as her breathing deepened, knowing she was out.

"Because I need you, and I'm tired of acting like I don't." He whispered an answer he knew she wouldn't hear.

A pounce on the bed scared him, but he soon realized he had nothing to worry about.

"So are you Chewy or Whiskers?" he asked a unusually fluffy, brown cat that settled by Rey's head. He heard purring from the floor and felt another cat rubbing him on the ankles. He petted the white cat a couple of times and watched as it made its place in the bed by her feet.

"You two are the luckiest sons of bitches in the world, you know that?"

After taking one last look at her sleeping peacefully, he gently kissed her forehead and left her bedroom, reluctantly leaving her behind.

He found a blanket in the trunk in her sparsely decorated living room downstairs and tried to make his big body comfortable on her couch. He figured he should leave, which seemed to be the right thing to do, but he, however, had to make sure she was okay. Now that he somehow had a good thing going with her, he wanted to take care of her.

Taking this particular drunk woman home and sleeping on her small couch was better than picking up any random woman at a bar and fucking her all night.

What normally took a long process of tossing and turning, sleep found Kylo not long after he rested his head on one of throw pillows she had lying around. The last thing he would see before he began to dream was her beautiful face.

Hopefully the nightmares would stay away.

 **~o~**

 **I'm on tumblr 3todream3 Come see me :)**


	7. Fade into You

"I want to hold the hand inside you.

I want to take a breath that's true.

I look to you and I see nothing.

I look to you to see the truth.

You live your life.

You go in shadows.

You'll come apart, and you'll go black.

Some kind of night into your darkness.

Colors your eyes with what's not there.

Fade into you.

Strange you never knew."

~Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

~o~

A yelp of sheer terror pierced her deep sleep, causing Chewy to pounce on her head before he darted under the bed to join Whiskers. Thinking she was just dreaming, she rolled back over in her soft bed to will herself back to sleep. As she almost drifted back to slumber, she heard the yelling again. Someone, a man, was screaming downstairs in her house. It took a moment for the utter panic and grogginess to subside before she could get her bearings and figure out what was going on.

Kylo walked me home and put me to bed? She remembered having at least four glasses of wine last night. Being a lightweight, she knew better than drinking so much, but after being stood up by Ben and then Kylo's surprise appearance, getting knackered was the only way she could cope. Before she could analyze her time with Kylo, she heard another scream followed by a crash.

"What the..." she whispered as she pushed herself off the mattress. Not one to run and hide, she reached down and grabbed her Louisville Slugger she kept under her bed for moments such as these. She might be small, but she was mighty. Growing up, she was always the nerd with her nose in a comic book and her hands on a screwdriver making her robots. Being small, quiet, and parentless didn't work in her favor growing up where she did.

She exchanged her repair skills for Echani lessons from the only martial arts business in her neighborhood in Jakku, England. Nothing where she grew up was nice, so knowing how to repair heaters, appliances, small motors, and the like was a skill that was a hot commodity. Her sensei, Brianna, was her only constant in a life of chaos. She worked her way up to a black belt and never backed down from a challenge.

Quietly making her way down the stairs with her bat in a position up on her shoulder, ready to strike in a moment's notice, she hoped she wouldn't have to use the weapon she held. She hated violence but she wouldn't be attacked by some random stranger in her own home. She felt the muscles in her arms start to cramp from how tightly she gripped the handle.

Once she reached the bottom of the stairs, the screams had subsided, but she could still hear that someone was in her living room rustling around on her couch. What burglar takes a nap? The street light in front of her town-home beamed in the floor-to-ceiling windows of her living room. The sheer curtains kept her privacy from the outside, but it always let in the light, which she liked. A stack of books and a side table had been knocked over, but luckily nothing was broken.

Everything came into focus and made sense when the culprit came into view. Kylo had apparently stayed the night. Her heart was still racing from the panic she had just experienced, but the fighting reflex soon changed into concern for the large man in distress on her couch. Whatever was happening in his dreams was awful, and she briefly watched as he wrestled with something.

She set the bat down on the hardwood floor and knelt down by his head. She didn't know if she could help, but she hated to see him in pain like this. Usually a man who never showed his hand or let anyone get the best of him, he was totally vulnerable in this moment.

Kylo's head thrashed back and forth; his breathing was quick and shallow. As she placed her hands on either side of his head, she made a soft shushing noise, like a mother calming an upset baby. Her eyes studied the contorted face, and she found her right hand brushing his skin up along his cheek and up to his long hair, feeling his curls between her fingers.

Immediately, his body began to calm and his face relaxed, and she decided her touches were helping. Her gaze fixated on the scar that she couldn't help but notice when she looked at him. When most people saw imperfection in it, she saw beauty. She had always loved taking broken robots and computer parts and making something out of them. Over the years, she had fashioned many masterpieces out of bits and pieces that people had thrown away. When most people saw the scar that spanned most of the right side of his face, they saw what they called a monster. Rey thought that for most of his life he must have had a hard time dealing with people looking at him beyond the large wound. She didn't necessarily want to fix him like one of her projects, but she wanted to break through his tough exterior and get to know more about the man inside that strong physique and a uniquely handsome face that never smiled. What happened to cause such pain? She guessed it had everything to do with the scar.

Finally close enough to touch him, she traced her pointer finger from the top of his scar above his eye, softly following its trail downward. When she got to his cheek, her thumb took over the job, feeling the groove of the tough skin as she traipsed down to his jaw. Her thumb followed the chiseled jawline back and forth. She got lost in touching him that she didn't even notice that he had awakened.

"Hey," he whispered in a raspy voice.

Rey jumped a bit, surprised by his waking, but kept her hands on either side of his face.

"Hey," she uttered back to him.

"I-I...I'm sorry if I woke you." His body shifted towards her.

"You okay?" She absentmindedly rubbed his soft hair between her fingers not caring that he woke her up in the early hours of the morning. "You were screaming."

"Sorry about that. I, uh, don't sleep well," he answered. "I'm better now."

Her thumb that had been tracing his jaw line drifted to the corner of his sultry lips, and her eyes closed when she felt his fingers brush across her cheek. She leaned into his touch, feeling his large hand cup the entire side of her head. She forgot what her hands were doing when his thumb found her ready lips. Without even thinking, she parted them and took his finger in her mouth. He drew in a breath when she did. Her eyes fluttered open when she heard a low moan come from his chest as she began to lightly suck the tip of his thumb. She watched as his hips bucked slightly, knowing he was aroused by her touch. She liked that a lot.

"Rey," he breathed, and before he could finish his sentence, she found her mouth on his. It was sudden and quick, but the time it took to get to this point seemed like light years. The way he whispered her name spurred her on to kiss him. She nipped his upper lip with hers, letting her wet lips linger a bit and hoping he wouldn't refuse her. He told her last night that he wanted her, and she hoped he was true to his word.

In a swift motion that took her a bit off guard, Kylo moved his body to a sitting position and pulled her between his legs. With her on her knees, she still had to look up to him. She rested her hands on his thighs, anticipating his next move. For a brief moment, he stared down at her, searching her eyes as his hands cupped her face. His thumb slid across her lower lip again, and before she could take it in her mouth, he closed the small distance between them returning her kiss. Except this time he showed her how much he desired her.

Her mouth immediately welcomed his by opening to invite him in. Their tongues played a game of dominance with one another as they moved from side to side, making up for all the time they wanted to be like this but didn't have the guts to pull the trigger. He pulled away, and her throbbing lips wanted him back.

"Stand up," he ordered, and her fingers dug into his thigh as she pushed herself off her knees, obeying. His hands began traveling up the sides of her body over the clothes she still wore from last night. After a few passes up and down the curves of her hips, he took the bottom of her cotton shirt and pulled it up over her head.

Immediately drawn to her breasts, his hands explored the lace of her black bra, cupping and squeezing. The more he touched the more intense he became, seeming to need more of her. All she could do was clasp locks of his hair in her hands as she let him feel her skin. He took her bra straps down, but it didn't seem to be what he really wanted.

"I need this off...now." He was so sexy when he was wanting her so. She twisted her arms behind her back and easily undid the clasp, taking it off down the front her body and letting it fall to the floor.

She felt a little nervous because she wasn't a lingerie model by any means. Her bigger-than-a-B-cup but not-quite-a-C-cup breasts had always made her feel inadequate around other voluptuous women. Always more an athletic build than a curvy one, she never felt like she was what men wanted. She even remembered seeing a few women with big boobs and curvy hips on Kylo's arm at a few company dinners, so she never once thought he would want her. But standing here topless in front of this beautiful man, she felt like no other woman could compare to her. The way his hands awakened her flesh underneath as he shifted his touch back and forth, made her nipples pique. The points of them drew imaginary pictures on his palms as he moved them to and fro, sending little shocks to her body when he did.

The way he touched her with such urgency made her chest heave, and she had trouble catching her breath. It were as if she was running a marathon. Not only was she having trouble getting enough air, but her legs were also about to give way. He cupped both breasts with his large hands and bowed his head and began placing wet kisses to her stomach as he massaged her. She could hear him mumbling in an indecipherable language that only he understood. It were as if he was bowing in supplication to her, worshiping her body with his hands and murmuring little prayers

With her hands still caressing his hair, she watched as he slid his body off the couch to the floor and got on his knees, his hands never leaving her body. She took a step back to give him space that his large frame needed. The hands that once were caressing her breasts found their way to her rear end. He felt her curves with several passes, and she picked up on his breathing patterns-he was struggling just like she was.

"Your ass looks good in these jeans," he whispered, continuing his rubbing. Not blessed with huge boobs, she always did have a round ass that she didn't know was attractive until now. The way Kylo paid attention to it, making sure that every part of her had a trace of his touch on it, made her feel desirable. His hands reluctantly stopped their motions, and she soon felt his fingers around the waistband of her pants. She giggled a bit as his fingers tickled her skin near her navel where he began the work of undoing the button of her jeans. His large fingers took a few moments to work the little button, and she enjoyed watching his determination.

"Now then," he breathed, drawing the zipper down oh so slowly, "let's take these off."

She began to help him but he firmly took her wrists and moved her hands to his shoulders. "I'd like to do the honors." His eyes looked up to her, and she swore she saw a little happiness in them, even though he still had on his poker face.

He shimmied the tight jeans down her body, and she wiggled her hips a bit to give him a little help. When they made it to the floor, she stepped out of them and kicked them off somewhere out of the way.

"Fuck," he muttered. She had chosen something special to wear for Ben, but Kylo got to be the lucky one to see her sheer, black thong with skinny straps. She paid a lot of money for not a lot of material, and judging from his reaction, she knew it was money well spent. Simple yet very effective.

Looking down to him, she waited for his touch, but it didn't come. Her hand moved from his shoulder and began stroking the back of his neck. "Kylo," she managed to whimper as losing his touch was becoming more evident in her yearning for him. She pressed her thighs together because her need for him was surging through her, and she needed to calm herself down.

She saw his hands tremble as they sat on his knees, kind of like they did when she paid a visit to his office yesterday. She wondered if the trembling had anything to do with her.

"Kylo, please..." she begged. She then raked her fingernails across his shoulders, hoping to wake him up.

"I...don't even know where to begin." Rey never knew him to be indecisive. "You're...you're too much." He started rubbing the material of his pants back and forth as if wiping the sweat off his palms.

What the heck does that mean? I'm too much, she thought to herself. "I don't understand."

"It means that I want to do everything at once and can't. I want to taste you, every part of you, but touch every inch of you at the same time. I want to take my time and be gentle, making love to you, but then I want to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk in the morning."

Her knees buckled when he spoke of fucking her, and he finally touched her, catching her as she wobbled. Once she got her balance back, she took his hand and placed it on the silky material of her panties and helped him stroke her back and forth.

"How about you start here?" she persuaded, widening her stance a bit.

And then Kylo woke up and began doing what a man did to please his woman. His thumb dipped below her low-rise panties and expertly found her clit and began playing with it. His other hand grabbed her ass and squeezed just enough to elicit a cry of pleasure from her.

"Oh." His thumb kept pulsing, making her need more of what he was doing.

"Can I taste you?" he asked as he kissed her lower belly, taking his thumb away from its playground. He looped his fingers around the thin straps of her undergarment and slid them down her toned legs. Kylo spread out his fingers as he worked her panties down and felt her skin, getting the most use of his large hands. She was going to need to lie down soon because her once strong legs were becoming putty underneath his fiery touch.

"Yes," she answered with a bated breath, and as if her heard her thoughts, he took her hand and guided her down to the couch where he once slept. Her head found the little throw pillow he used, and she made herself comfortable on the cushions that were still warm from his body. He stood, causing a shadow to be cast over the whole area. The light from the window shone around him, and she could see as he began undoing the buttons of his shirt. He never once took his eyes from her. She liked seeing him move his gaze back and forth, taking in her naked form as he undressed himself.

His shirt finally fell to the floor, and she watched as he tugged his undershirt off from behind his head in a rush. She didn't know what to do with her hands as she watched the show, and she found herself nibbling on one of her fingers, being turned on by getting to see him undress piece by piece in front of her eyes. She'd only ever seen him dressed up in a suit and tie, never had he been in casual dress around her until last night, and suddenly she was watching the most perfect body undo his belt to his standard black slacks. The man obviously worked out. He had pecs for days, and she couldn't wait to rub her fingers over the rippled abs that were flexing a bit as he finished undoing his belt. She grinned to herself as he made his way to the button on his pants.

His pants. Oh, God! Her body couldn't even think when she saw how his slacks were tented at the moment. She was already wet and ready for him, and the anticipation of what hid beneath the material was more than she could bear. His pants dropped to the floor, and disappointment filled her when he quickly made his way to her, leaving his boxer briefs on. She was so ready to see all of him, but she soon forgot all about it when he crawled up her body to her chest. Rey instinctively opened her legs, inviting him to her.

"Ah," she cried as his tongue found the first nipple. He nipped and sucked like a man who hadn't had anything to drink for days. Her hands found themselves in his hair again where she wanted to stay. The feeling of his lips on her tender nipple and her hands in his soft hair was a damn good combination.

Poe made her feel good. He was sweet and attentive, but he didn't excite her the way Kylo did. She hadn't felt this excited about another man in a long time, except for the one she had met briefly at the gala. She wouldn't forget that feeling, even if Ben had turned out to be an unreliable jerk. She'd still remember coming harder than she ever had before. She couldn't wait to see what Kylo could do; she had the utmost confidence in his abilities.

She grabbed the armrest behind her as his teeth bit and pulled at her flesh. Her hips rolled underneath him, even though his body hadn't made contact with hers just yet. She was sensing too much pleasure to even be upset that she couldn't feel him hard between her legs. His lips left her nipples, and he slowly kissed down her body to the sensitive spot below the middle of her breasts, down the center of her quivering stomach, and then to the the patch of hair right above her pussy. He evidently had chosen the take-his-time-and-make-love-to-her option. She was totally okay with that choice, although she'd be happy at not walking tomorrow as well.

Kylo moved to the floor and placed his body between her legs, gripping her inner thighs with his capable hands. She dangled a leg off the couch, trying to open herself to him as much as she could.

Her head jerked back as he made his first pass on her folds with his tongue. She let out a moan, realizing this was just the beginning. Wanting this man so much had made one lick from him ecstasy.

"Oohhh," she continued softly as he made a trail up and down her center, promising her body more to come. He took his time, savoring her and making sure he did a thorough job. His attention to detail at the office had made him very successful and usually made everyone around him frustrated with his need for perfection, but Rey soon became a believer in his process. The way he magically worked her pussy was a testament to his need to be an overachiever.

His long attentive laps soon turned into quick, little pulses, sending a whole new sensation throughout her body. His grip tightened on the flesh of her hips, and she found herself pushing herself more into his face. The quick thrusts of his tongue found her clit where the pulsations just about made her come undone.

A hand loosened its grip on her and meandered downward, searching. His body lifted a bit, making space for his hand, but his mouth kept servicing her all the while.

"Oh, God!" She screamed suddenly when she felt his fingers enter her swiftly. As his they pumped in and out of her, his thumb took over what his tongue was doing to her clit.

"You like this, Rey?" he asked, now able to speak. She watched as his free hand wiped her juices off the corner of his mouth.

"Oh!" she cried again as his cocky, little smirk crossed his face and another finger came into play. "Yes," she breathed. His fingers picked up their pace. "Ahhh!" Her head thrashed from side to side, beginning to feel the build up of her body's release. Grabbing hold of the side of the couch with one hand and the pillow behind her head with the other, she was able to still herself and focus on Kylo and what his fingers were doing to her.

Their eyes locked together for a brief moment, burning with the heat that only lovers made. She watched as he seemed to admire her writhing below him as she gazed at him fucking her with his fingers. Her eyes clenched shut when his free hand found her breast again where he pinched her raw nipple roughly, causing her impending need to intensify.

"So wet. Shit, Rey." As if he were thirsty for another drink, his mouth found her clit again where he began sucking, knowing just how to make her crazy. Then he did the thing with his fingers where he curved them to hit that particular spot that makes women cry out their lover's names.

"Ky...oh...Kylo!" His tongue worked alongside his thumb, and in one moment, her entire body seized, and her walls begin pulsing around his fingers. Her orgasm hit her body in one huge wave, and she saw flashes of light behind her closed eyelids. For a moment she didn't know where she was and reveled in the complete bliss of just having had Kylo make her come with his thick fingers and sweet mouth.

Her hand rested on her forehead as she tried to catch her breath. When she came to, she was taken aback by what she saw. He must have taken off his underwear as she recovered from one of her top orgasms of all time, and there he was in all his glory. He looked perfect, hovering above her as he kneeled halfway on the couch.

Digging in his pants he had pulled off the floor, she watched as he removed his wallet and finally found what he needed, a condom.

"I need you now, Rey. I can't wait any longer." He spoke with an urgency she understood. Her body began to want him again, and she couldn't keep her eyes from him. As he slid the condom down his thick cock, seeing him touch himself made her immediately wet again. She was hoping that this was when he turned into the man who wanted to fuck her and make it hard for her to walk tomorrow.

"Then don't," she urged as she reached up, placing her hand behind his neck, tugging him down to her. He followed her urging and bent down towards her, crouching over her as a tiger stalks his prey. Her hands couldn't keep from the muscular shoulders that rippled as he positioned himself above her. When her nails dug into his skin, she soon found his mouth crashing to hers where she tasted herself on his salty lips.

She hummed below him as he nipped at her lips between deep, passionate kisses. She'd hope he'd fill her soon, working her back up to where she would scream his name again in pleasure.

She finally felt him ready himself in position. It were as if he were waiting for the starter pistol to fire so he could begin. She didn't understand how he had to have her one minute and then take his time in the next, but she really didn't care.

"You don't have to be gentle," Rey whispered.

And with those words, he entered her in such a way that made her gasp at how big he was and how amazing he felt. Her hands immediately slid to his ass, wanting to have them there as he thrust inside her. She'd never felt so full, except with one other person...Ben. It was a different sensation, being taken from behind and lying face down on a table at the gala, but she could still sense a similarity as Kylo moved above her. She shut off her brain because she didn't want the feeling of Kylo to be tainted by her thoughts of Ben. She was too far gone to worry about it now.

He glided fully in and out of her with a little tenderness, making her insides feel a slow burn. When he would fill her completely, he did so with a force that shocked her system and made the couch creak in the process. She hoped the piece of furniture would survive their lovemaking. Then again, she didn't have to think that way anymore because she now had the money to replace it.

Kylo's body switched into overdrive, driving his hips quickly with wild abandon. Her hands that were plastered to his ass dug their nails into his skin. Kylo moaned as she did, and for a moment she worried she'd hurt him because she guaranteed her touch would leave some marks behind.

"You can keep doing that all you want," he whispered down into her ear. His breath tickled as he spoke. She closed her eyes and listened to his low moans as she matched him thrust for thrust. The sounds of their skin and bodies crashing into one another began to work in sync with their cries of pleasure.

"Fuck, Rey," he murmured. Her thighs began to quiver all on their own as his cock kept hitting her in just the right spot.

"Ohh. OH!" She screamed, feeling her center begin its escalation to find her climax again.

"Rey...Rey" he uttered over and over again into her ear, and then he pushed into her one last time and stayed. He let out a low, throaty moan as he did, and she knew he had come. She continued to pump his cock with her hips after he finished, needing just a bit more.

"Almost there," she cried, and even though he was finished, he began to work again to ensure her release.

"Come for me, Rey." Kylo lifted himself a bit off her and kept working in and out of her and began working her clit with his thumb. She thought he must have taken a course on how to work a woman's body with a focus on the clit. He must have aced the class and gone on to teach the lessons.

Letting out a series of high-pitched moans, she lost any coherent thought the moment her pussy began to clench around him. Her body tensed all over as she let the surge of bliss travel throughout her. He lowered his body to hers where they encapsulated one another in an embrace that made Rey feel protected and wanted.

Rey roamed her hands up and down the back of his body, feeling the sweat across his muscles. She had to turn her head to open her neck up to him because he began tenderly kissing her there. Letting out a contented sigh, she felt relaxed and wanted to go back to sleep wrapped up with him.

The lips that had been tasting her neck, made their way to hers. He kissed her softly with a gentleness that contrasted from his intense love making and demeanor outside these walls. She liked seeing this tender side of him and figured that not many people knew he could be so delicate.

"What time is it?" she asked. She didn't want to move or leave her house, but they did have to travel day to the mountains a couple of hours from Hannah City this morning.

"Um...I have no idea." He raised his head, looking around her living room. "Let me find my phone." A chill swept up her body when his warmth left. She felt empty in all ways but was okay because she knew they'd get to spend the day together.

He fumbled in the low-lit room and found his phone from his pants pocket. "It's almost four am."

Hearing the time, she smiled. They could go back to bed for a few hours before they had to leave.

"Where's the bathroom? I have a little cleaning up to do here," he smiled as he stood, a real smile. Rey couldn't answer because the way he looked took her words away. All she could do was point in the direction he needed to go. "Thanks," he added as he sauntered off.

She made sure to sit up, so she could watch him walk away because she wanted to see the ass she had her hands on during their lovemaking. His perfectly round rear end had her claw marks all over it. She kind of liked marking him like that.

While she waited on him, she started gathering their clothes that were strewn about. She found his keys on the carpet and set them on the coffee table next to his phone. He might need those. She folded her bra once she found it and did the same with her blouse. She began rounding up his clothing, folding them neatly and setting them by his keys. She usually wasn't so neat, but she didn't know what else to do with herself. Her foot hit something solid, and she bent down and scooped up his wallet and what felt like her silky panties. She placed his wallet by his keys and was going to put her panties with her pile when she noticed that they weren't the ones she was just wearing.

Are these another woman's panties? Did he carry around mementos from past lovers in his pockets?Before she dropped them in disgust, something familiar caught her eye. The color blue was evident even in the darkened room. Her heart began to pound as she took the silky material and laid it neatly next to her on the couch. They were her panties from the gala.

Her heart sank, and she began to piece everything together. She came to one conclusion-she was the most oblivious woman on the planet.

So wrapped up in her panicked thoughts, she didn't hear him approach her from behind. She felt a kiss on the top of her head, and his hands were on her shoulders. She suddenly became her old frigid self around him. Five minutes ago, she would've reacted to his touches and leaned into them, moaning a bit because she wanted him to know that she relished his warmth. Now she didn't know what to think. She just sat there, staring at her blue panties.

Kylo made his way around to her and stopped. She knew he saw her discovery without even having to look at him.

"You...you're Ben," her voice quivered a bit as she spoke her words. She could feel tears coming, but she wouldn't let him see her cry.

"I can explain." Her eyes winced to how vulnerable his voice sounded.

"I don't want to hear it. You need to go. Right now."

"Can we at least talk about it?" he questioned her earnestly.

"No." She didn't look at him because she couldn't have him swaying how she felt in this moment. He would make her change her mind before she could work it all out for herself.

"Can I still drive you to the..."

"No," she didn't let him finish. Shit , she cursed because she couldn't just curl up in bed all day. Her body didn't feel like going to the executive retreat where she would see him at every turn.

"Rey, please..." he seemed to beg. Mustn't look at him.

"I just need to think a bit, and I can't do it with you here." Not making any eye contact, she handed him his clothes, hoping it was all there, so he wouldn't return. "Just get dressed and leave, please." Walking away from him was the hardest thing she could remember doing, and that included leaving Poe.

In a trance she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom. I am so stupid for believing him. She should've known it was him. Everyone else in the world would have known it was him. She kicked herself at being so street smart and book smart but so naive when it came to men. Once he had shown up to the bistro, it should've clicked. How did she not notice how tall they both were? Did she not feel the comparison once he had entered her? All the different questions ran through her head that she knew would be torturing her for days to come.

She waited to hear the front door shut behind him before she allowed a couple of tears to run down her cheek. Then she collapsed on her bed, hoping to forget about him in her sleep.

~o~

A/N: I have good news and bad news. Good news is that I'm going on vacation! Bad news is that it will be for most of July. I'll be out of my home country, so I won't be able to write until I get back. If I can't pop out a chapter between now and then, expect and update late July. I'm so sorry, but hopefully you'll all still stick around to see how this little mess between Kylo and Rey gets resolved. Find me on tumblr at 3todream3. You can see the beautiful mood boards for this story there. Ask me questions while I'm gallivanting around the world. PM me to chat. I am going to want to talk Reylo.


	8. Simplify

Hey y'all! I got it done! I wrote another chapter before being off on vacation for a while. Many thanks to asongstress1422, my beta. She makes my chapters readable. Any mistakes you see are all me because she' really good. I mean, really good.

~o~

"Why must we complicate  
Every breath we take?  
Why can't you see we'll be alright?

Nothing disappears  
Even the pain we've been through,  
But all I need is here.  
Don't wanna live without you.

All we need is nothing more (when everything simplifies).  
You and I need nothing more, everything simplifies.

~ _Simplify_ by Young the Giant

~o~

"Shit." Kylo grabbed the ticket that was underneath the windshield wipers on his Porsche. He probably should've taken notice of the one-hour parking zone when he decided to leave it.

Even still, prior to Rey kicking him out he would have said this was the best morning he'd had in a long while. Being awakened by her hands touching him and knowing that somehow her presence chased away the demons that tore at him in his sleep gave him an unfamiliar but welcomed feeling. If the mind-blowing sex didn't convince him that she was more than just a one-night-stand, the way she easily manipulated his dreams was a sure sign that something more existed between knew she felt it too.

And if it weren't for those stupid panties she'd still be in his arms.

But he couldn't let go of them. They had been on her body in that most sacred place of hers, and for as long as he would live, he'd never forget the way he felt inside her that first time. There was nothing like it. And last night, he got to have a taste of her. He'd only gotten a drop, but he already craved her again. The only issue was that now she was mad as hell at him, and he couldn't blame her. Would he get a chance to be with her again?

 _If I had just told the truth, then...well, it'd would've gone to shit anyway like it always did when the truth came out._

How would he deal with seeing her this weekend but not being able to touch her? Would she even talk to him? Could he handle her acting as if nothing had happened between them? Then again, how would he deal with not being near her at all?

He crumpled the parking ticket in his hand and got in his car. He went from zero to one hundred in no time flat on the deserted streets heading back to his place to get ready for the retreat and probably do some more self loathing.

~o~

Luke Skywalker held the retreat in an out-of-the-way part of the Chandrila Mountains every year. Though not mountains by scientific standards, but in these parts, the large rolling hills were mountains to everyone around. In the wintertime, the tops of the round peaks had a brush of snow on top, and in the spring they were the most brilliant green shaded by towering pines.

Mr. Skywalker loved the ruggedness of the terrain, close enough to Hanna City for his business dealings but far enough out not to get light pollution. It was a good two hours from the city, but half of that time was spent winding back and forth through the hills to get to the three thousand acre ranch on the other side of the pass.

Having been up so early, it didn't take Kylo long to pack and be on the road. He even missed morning traffic. He took the Range Rover with its four-by-four capabilities. There were a few low-water crossings on the way to the ranch, and having a dependable vehicle where he was going was important. He wondered how Rey was going to drive out in her little Prius. Still being early spring, the snow had just begun to melt. The flow of water was always unpredictable, and water crossing the roadway was never a good thing in these parts.

Fighting the urge to turn back around and force her to come with him, for her own safety if nothing else, he turned up his music and focused on getting to the retreat.

Kylo pulled up to the gravel circle drive in front of the main house. The large structure was the quintessential mountain home made with exposed, round logs. The three-story house somehow looked like a cozy home rather than the mansion it really was. He was met by one of Mr. Skywalker's employees and rolled down his window to see where he needed to go.

"Kylo Ren, I presume?" the man asked, looking down at his iPad.

"Yes."

"You're assigned to cabin one." He handed Kylo the old-fashioned key to the cabin.

"Who's in cabin two?" Kylo had been here before and knew the layout of the cabins. There was the main house where the meals were served and meetings were held. Behind it, the six individual cabins were scattered here and there, built around the terrain.

Mr. Skywalker made sure the building of his ranch did little to disturb the natural surrounding of the earth around it. The cabins were all unique. Each one was of a different size and material, depending on when it was built. Kylo's cabin was the furthest from the house and most secluded, but it looked out on cabin number two and shared a small outdoor seating area.

"Ummm," the man glanced back at his iPad, "Mr. Hux is in that cabin, sir."

"Is he here yet?"

"No, sir."

Kylo reached for his wallet, pulled out a wad of cash, and handed it to the man.

"Can you make a switch for me?"

~o~

Kylo paced back and forth in the main house and wiped his sweaty palms on his blue jeans. He rarely wore the things but he had them for situations such as these-a weekend in the mountains. He even bought a few flannel shirts and wore the red and black one today. His hiking boots felt heavy on his feet. It was quite the change from the Italian, dress shoes he wore daily. His uncle loved to gather the top executives and bring them out of the city for a taste of the simpler life.

Kylo laughed at how Luke thought his employees were roughing it on his ranch. Luke made sure he had the best of everything out here for his people. The heated pool with Jacuzzi, rooms to fit all his top employees, and a seasonal wait staff didn't scream simple to Kylo. He didn't mind because his idea of roughing it was figuring out which color flannel shirt to buy at RRL. Kylo didn't do the outdoors, but his uncle actually did. Luke had the ranch for company use, but he truly lived the natural life style without pretension. One of the smaller stone, cabins was were he resided year round.

"Can I get you some coffee Mr. Ren?" a butler asked the nervous Kylo who kept staring out the front window.

Kylo nodded absently as he saw a vehicle approach. Once it came into view, he could see that Armitage had unfortunately made it. He and Hux often sparred with one another daily around the office, jockeying for position within the company. Both men were quite driven to climb the ladder, and they both worked tirelessly to outperform the other. Hux wasn't his favorite person by any means.

"How do you take your coffee, sir?"

At that moment, not one but two doors opened from Hux's car. His lips pursed when he saw Rey get out of the passenger-side door. She just had to be wearing another pair of those damn skinny jeans. These were black and paired with a black, cropped sweater. She wore a pair of Converse that he'd never seen before. He'd only seen her in her high heels she wore to the office. He couldn't help but notice that she looked great dressed up or dressed down. She would make a gunny sack look good.

"Sir, your coffee?"

"Black," he answered through gritted teeth, his eyes locked on the group outside.

 _What the hell was she doing riding with that asshole?_ She had refused a ride from him but ended up taking one with that guy? Hux obviously had no idea how to please her and absolutely no clue how to take care of her. Hux hadn't been with her like he had and shouldn't be near her.

He could feel his blood boiling, like it often did when anger hit him. From around the age of nine, Kylo had begun having a hard time controlling his temper. Anger was just like breathing to him, and he had long ago learned to manage it. The mental checklist he went through several times on a daily basis came immediately to his brain. He needed to get his temper in check, or he might not have a job if he couldn't calm himself down.

 _Step one. Admit you're angry._ He took a deep breath and let it out. _Yep, definitely angry_.

The butler brought the coffee, and before he could extend the cup to Kylo, the angry man held up his hand to the waiter, "Sorry, not now."

 _Good. That's good._ He didn't take the hot coffee and throw it across the room like he wanted. Instead he got to watch Hux eye Rey's ass as she leaned back into the car to retrieve something. His hands curled into fists.

 _Step two. Believe you can control your anger._ He took another deep breath and but couldn't force himself away from the panoramic window where he could see the two of them unload the car and give their luggage to the guy that checked Kylo in earlier. _Good,_ he told himself. _You're doing fine._ He seemed to have gained some control over his anger for the moment. The windows were not shattered. He thought that was acceptable considering he wanted to put a chair through the glass. Or better yet, Hux.

Kylo watched them talk as Hux gave his keys to the valet and then flinched when he saw Rey smile at at the red-faced weasel. Following the anger-management steps had never been this difficult for him.

 _Goddamn step three. Calm down and control your emotions._ He was doing _great_ at dealing with the situation that played out right in front of his eyes. He _loved_ watching the woman who made him lose interest in dating anyone else for the last few months, the woman who made him feel things he couldn't explain, the woman who controlled him and had no clue, smiling up at a man he despised.

He _was_ doing really well. That was until Hux placed his hand on the small of Rey's back as the two of them made their way up the front sidewalk. That touch was the straw that broke the camel's back. Now he had a real problem with Hux-driving her was one thing, but touching her was another.

He jumped straight past step four, diving straight into _express yourself assertively. I'm going to assertively ask Hux to quit touching Rey, then take his head in my hands, ram his nose into my knee, and then throw him through the mother fucking plate-glass window. Maybe then I will have expressed to him that I'm a little upset with his mother fucking, sorry ass._

He knew he looked like a lunatic, prowling around the room undergoing the checklist in his head. He already was a little odd and people at the office weren't chummy with him as they were with the others. Keeping everyone at arm's length was safe for him. Letting people in to see the real Kylo was never on the agenda. Then Rey came along and pierced through his thick exterior. She was a light in his darkness. He was damn well not going to allow Hux to try and encroach on the one person who he actually gave a damn about.

Finally deciding he needed to have a little discussion with Hux, Kylo made his way to the front door, so he could greet the man as he entered with Rey. He wasn't in the mood to play nicely either.

"Kylo," a voice called from behind him. Only this particular voice would make him interrupt his plans to destroy Hux. "Let us go over the itinerary for the day then we can meet everyone in the Great Room."

Kylo smoothed his hair back as he turned to face his CEO, Luke Skywalker.

"Sure thing, Uncle Luke," he answered with a forced smile.

"How many times have I told you not to call me that?" Luke sounded annoyed.

Kylo followed Luke in silence, wishing there were some way to make sure Hux couldn't be near Rey while he was in another room.

~0~

"Skywalker Enterprises is the largest renewable energy business on the planet. We now have the most wind farms in the United States and early this year expanded into Europe. Deals with Asia are in the works as we speak. We not only have made a name for ourselves with our wind technology, but we also have turned the industry on its head with our cutting-edge solar technology. We can offer solar energy for a fraction of the cost of our competitors; that means renewable energy isn't just for the wealthy anymore." Luke stood in front of the blazing fire in the massive fireplace to the twenty or so employees who gathered in the Great Room. It was his standard "State of the Company" address that kicked off the annual retreat. "Our duty to protect the natural resources of our planet has become more important now than it has ever been. The more people we can reach, the better it will be for our earth. Although our purpose is a noble one, we still have an uphill battle. For every bit of progress we make, big oil is nipping at our heels, trying to hinder our success."

The room was big enough to fit everyone but small enough to feel cozy. It had the quintessential lodge feel with cedar walls, stone accents, and cross beams made from old wood. Most of the materials used for this house were reclaimed. Luke lived his life true to his passion.

Kylo usually listened to every word his uncle uttered when he was around him. He wanted to absorb all of Luke's knowledge and use it to make him better at his job. Even though Kylo and his mother didn't speak anymore, it was good having Luke as his boss and mentor. No one knew they were family, and they both liked to keep it that way. Nepotism wasn't something for which Luke wanted to be known, and Kylo didn't want anyone to know that he was Leia Organa's son.

Luke didn't leave his ranch much these days, and his visits to the office and company functions were occurring less and less. Kylo didn't know what was going on with Luke, but rumblings among the executives had already begun. New leadership was being discussed by the board, or so Kylo had heard. He'd believe it when he saw proof. Just because he was a VP didn't make him privy to any inside information.

Luke's words soon sounded like the adults in the the Charlie Brown cartoons as Kylo's focal point became the brown-haired beauty sitting in a leather chair across the room from him, sipping her tea. He crossed his legs and rested his head on his hand, and tried not staring as she watched Luke intently. He failed miserably at the not-staring-at-her thing.

She didn't glance at him once, which infuriated him to no end. He usually was the one pursued, and being in unfamiliar territory threw him off his game.

Kylo didn't even notice when the meeting concluded, and a touch on the shoulder from Phasma jolted him into the present.

"Earth to Kylo," she joked. "You okay?"

"Yea, yea, just deep in thought."

"Let's get this day of meetings out of the way so we can all enjoy a nice dinner. My goal will be to make you laugh at one of my jokes," she teased. Kylo liked Phasma enough. She was a tall woman who usually intimidated those around her. Her beauty was unmistakable, but he was never drawn to her like many men were. The one he wanted had already left with the IT crew for their small-group meetings.

He grabbed a cup of coffee and knew that he was going to need a dose of something stronger to make it through the day.

~o~

After finally making it back to his cabin this evening after a day filled with boring meetings, he slammed the door. He was frustrated with this whole situation with Rey. The entire day was a roller coaster of emotions, and he felt he was about to lose it. He unbuttoned his flannel shirt and threw it to the floor, leaving just his white, thermal shirt on. He kicked of his boots and didn't care when one of them knocked a lamp of a side table. He needed to get control of himself before he well and truly lost it.

Kylo spread his arms wide and placed his palms on either side of the front door. He didn't know if she made it back to her cabin or not because he left the table as fast as he could. He didn't feel much like celebrating with everyone once the meal finished and the Champagne came out.

"Rey," he voiced loudly, not wanting to say her name quietly. He hung his head down as he stood there helpless. He hoped she would let him in again. If today were any idea of how the rest of his days would go, then he couldn't bear it. Day one of the silent treatment was torture.

Dinner hadn't made things any better like he'd planned. He'd hoped he could sit next to her and strike up a conversation, but she had done a good job at keeping her distance from him. Always surrounded by people, Rey seemed to make herself unavailable to him. She even sat at the furthest point from him at the huge, rustic dining table Luke had in his dining room. The only good thing he could say about dinner was that Hux didn't get to sit by her either.

He would give anything to go back to how it was before they slept together. At least then she would talk to him. Then again, if sleeping with her twice was all he got, then he'd die a happy man. He would suffer for the rest of his life not being with her because having a little of her was better than not having her at all.

Walking back to the kitchen area, he grabbed the whiskey bottle he'd brought with him. He was reared in a wealthy household and brought up with the servants, nannies, and the like. His mother would scoff at his choice of liquor. She would prefer a nice Scotch or a Gin for the Solo men, which would be a proper drink for someone from his background. Whiskey was beneath him, but it's what his dad drank. It had been a long time since he cared what his mother thought anyway. He hadn't been a Solo or part of that part of the family for some time. Luke was his only glimpse of family, and even then, it was all business.

One thing was certain, drinking this whole bottle was the only way he was going to get himself to sleep. Before he could even get the cap off, there was a light tapping at his door. He shuffled his socked feet across the pine floor and opened the door without checking through the peephole. He knew it couldn't possibly be the person he wanted it to be and was annoyed anyone dared interrupting his plans of getting shit-faced.

Kylo's mood changed the moment he saw Rey, standing on his small, front porch. After a day full of her acting as if he didn't even exist , here she was, holding a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses.

"I'm finally ready to talk to you," she spoke flatly. She still looked a little angry, but he could sense that maybe she would place a moratorium on her wanting him to die a slow death.

"I thought we could meet out here on neutral ground." The hand with the wine glasses pointed to the fire pit area with a small table a chairs. He was glad he bribed the guy to put her in the cabin closest to him

"Sure," he agreed. Kylo was ready to take the heat if he ever wanted to be near her warmth again.

He watched her shiver from the cool wind. Without asking, he grabbed a throw blanket from the sofa and brought it outside with him.

Rey sat down at one of the deck chairs and began working on uncorking the wine. Kylo set the blanket down on the table in front of them and took the chair to her left.

"It's for you. You look cold."

"Thanks," she said reluctantly, not even touching the blanket.

"You sure you want to be drinking while we talk? You remember what happened last time we drank together?" Kylo couldn't help but bring up what happened only a night ago. He sat in the chair right next to her. This was the closest she'd allowed him to get all day.

"I'm going to need a drink or two to talk to you actually. If I happen to get drunk, then I can hobble over to my cabin and sleep it off, and I won't need any help from you."

She poured the wine, setting his glass succinctly in front of his before taking hers and filling it nearly to the brim.

"Why did you let Hux drive you?" Kylo blurted out. He knew she needed to lead this conversation, but he couldn't help it. It had been eating at him all day.

Rey glared at him and took a long sip, letting him stew. "If you must know, my car couldn't cross one of the water crossings, and he was the first one to drive by." She smiled a bit, all sharp teeth and flashing eyes. "You're a little jealous, aren't you?"

"A little jealous doesn't quite describe the feelings that I had," he said quietly, meeting her eyes and letting her see how close he had come to losing it today.

She looked away first, curling her legs up on the chair with her and taking another bracing drink of her wine. "Well, you have nothing to be jealous of. Hux was only being nice. If you must know, I am not attracted to him in the slightest "

Kylo breathed an internal sigh of relief and was very glad he didn't kill the guy today. Now that his curiosity had been sated, he would let her run the show. He was ready to face the firing squad.

It didn't take long for her to pull the trigger and fire her first question.

"When did you know it was me?" she demanded.

He paused, waiting to find the right answer. He watched the red wine swirl around his glass as he thought.

"You can spit it out. I'm a big girl." He watched her finish her glass, tipping it back and exposing her pale throat before pouring another.

Giving her half-truths up to this point hadn't worked in his favor thus far. He'd have to put it out there and suffer the consequences.

"When we fucked at the gala." The look of horror spread across her face. He quickly added, "I swear I didn't know it was you until we were already in the middle of everything. When you screamed 'bloody hell', I knew. No one else around here has a voice like yours."

"Bloody hell," she whispered to herself in astonishment.

"See, just like that. No one sounds like you, and it drives me crazy." He would sit and listen to her read the dictionary, that was how much her voice enticed him.

She fiddled with the cuff of her jeans."Crazy in a bad way?"

"God, no. Crazy in the way that I crave being close to you just to hear you speak."

"Me?" She shook her head in clear disbelief.

"Yes, you. " He needed her to realize how she affected him. She had no clue that he was pulled to her like like air to a drowning man. "You make me do the stupidest things, like sign for your packages just so you'll come to my office so I can see you."

Her brows pinched as she looked at him."That's why you were acting so weird?"

 _Yes, luckily you couldn't see the hard-on I had the entire time you were near me._

"I've realized I do things I normally don't do when I'm around you. I really can't put into words how you make me feel," he confessed.

"I really don't think I'm anything special. Really, Kylo, I'm nothing. I'm not extraordinary at all. If you knew me..." her voice cracked a bit and she silenced it with a gulp of wine.

"I don't have to know your life story," he said quietly, "to know who you are as a person."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, sipping their wine, staring at the fire pit that had no fire. He watched as her shoulders began shaking, and she covered her eyes with one of her hands as she chuckled.

"How much wine have you had? I've already taken your drunk ass home once," he joked. He'd do it a thousand times over, just to have her near him.

"I'm just embarrassed now, knowing that you knew it was me the whole week, and you didn't say anything. I can't believe that I'm so stupid."

"Don't say that."

"Well, it's true. How many super tall guys with a body like yours are running around Hanna City?"

 _A body like mine? Did she just let me know she like my body._ He had hoped his cock would behave tonight. He didn't need it perking up and interrupting his train of thought, but hearing her say those words got to him. _Down, boy._ He spoke to his dick, hoping that he wouldn't have say things like _Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day_ to keep himself in check.

"You're not stupid by any means. You actually have fantasies and dreams. You want the fairy tale, don't you?" She belonged to a Jane Austen book club for goodness sake.

"I do. It's kind of embarrassing, really, but growing up where I did, it's the only way you survive. If you don't have dreams, something to hold on to, you'll die." Her eyes cast downward, and he fought the urge to reach out for her.

"That's why you held on to the idea of Ben and never suspected it could be me. You wanted him to be real. If it had been me, you would've been disappointed. " He reasoned for himself, ignoring the pain it caused him." I'm not a nice guy, Rey. You are too good for the likes of me."

"You're not the monster others make you out to be," she said laying her head against the back of her chair. "I know you have goodness in you. I feel it when you're near." He watched her shiver after she spoke those words. He stood up and got the blanket he had brought, and she softly smiled as he wrapped it around her.

"You must not know me that well." Kylo let his hands linger on her shoulders for a bit, pretending to smooth the wrinkles of the blanket just to keep his hands on her. He willed himself to go sit back down, but he did scoot his chair closer to her.

"I know you well enough. It's you who doesn't know what he's talking about. You have no idea who I am. You think _I'm_ too good for _you_? That's bollocks. I'm an orphan who comes from the worst place in England. I had to scrimp and save everything just to get to America. I have no name. No legacy. I am nothing, Kylo."

"You're not nothing to me."

They both sat knee-to-knee now.

Kylo searched for her eyes, and found his reflection in them. He'd been off all day and looking at her brought back him back to center. Glancing at her lips, he knew he wanted to taste them, but he held back. He needed her to to make the first move.

She tilted her head to his but looked down, taking his hands in hers.

"Baby steps, remember?" she breathed. She had brought the words he used from their conversation at the bistro.

"That was really an awful suggestion," Kylo pointed out. He had had amazing sex with this woman last night, and he was pretty sure she enjoyed it quite a bit as well. Now she wanted to take him up on his taking-it-slow proposition.

"It was a good suggestion, Kylo. We need to slow down a bit. Get to know each other more. Try and be friends."

"Friends?" _What the hell?_ He couldn't be just friends with this woman.

"It's what I want? Do you think you can do this...for me?" Her hands squeezed his and she gave him that look with her hazel eyes that he couldn't resist.

"Sure. I can do that," he relented. He'd rather be friends than nothing at all.

"Thank you, Kylo."

They sat holding each other's hands for a little while longer. Neither one wanting to be the first to let go.

It was Rey who finally pulled the plug.

"I'm a little tired." She cleared her throat. "We have a busy day tomorrow, and I think we both need to get some sleep." She ran her fingers lightly across his cheek that held the scar before standing up. "See you tomorrow."

"Yea. See you tomorrow." He watched her walk the short distance to her cabin. He didn't make his way back to his room until he heard her lock click. It took every fiber of his being to walk away from her and back to his cabin.

When he closed his door behind him, he saw the whiskey bottle sitting on the table. Even though the conversation ended in a way that disappointed him, at least she was talking to him. It would be better than the silent treatment. In some weird way, just getting to be near her allowed him to fight the urge to down the whiskey. He undressed down to his boxer briefs, slid in the covers, and quickly drifted to sleep.

~o~

The nightmare came to him like it did every night. Even though he'd been to therapy, nothing seemed to calm the night terrors. The noises were intolerable and were the worst part. In his dream, he could hear his father screams and himself crying. The commotion was always played on a loop. He didn't feel any pain in the nightmare, just sheer torment.

At some point, the agony ceased and the terror went away. He didn't remember anything else until he awoke the next morning. He realized that his sleep was much better than it had been in a long while. The agony of the nightmare didn't take a hold of him like it normally did.

Someone stirred behind him, and he didn't have to guess whom it was. He just knew Rey must have come to him at some point in the middle of the night. She was spooning him with her arms wrapped around his middle with her forehead pressed into his back. God, she felt good. Being wrapped in her arms was a hell of a good way to wake up.

He quietly rolled over to face her. He hadn't been able to wake up with her in the morning yet, and reveled in the feeling this closeness brought him.

He didn't know how long he watched her sleep before her eyes fluttered open, and a look of surprise filled her eyes when she saw that he was looking at her. She looked like a little girl who got in trouble for having her hand in the cookie jar.

"Why did you come?" he asked quietly.

"I'm sorry … It's just that you were…screaming and I-"

She didn't need to finish her sentence.

"I'm sorry. That came out all wrong. Thank you, for being here." He brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen in her eye.

As if the touch showed a little too much intimacy, it seemed to be her cue to leave. She rolled herself in the opposite direction from him and found her robe. She wrapped it around her simple gray gown and slipped on her shoes.

"You can stay, Rey. You don't have to leave." Her exiting the bed made his chest constrict at the emptiness he felt. He didn't like the feeling that her leaving the bed gave him.

"Yes, I do."

And with that, she quietly stepped out shutting the door behind her.

~o~

a/n Please let me know what you think. I'd love more comments from you. I'm on tumblr at 3todream3 and will check PMs while I'm gone. Thanks for reading and don't be shy to leave a review or a pm.


	9. 1950

Notes:

I'm so sorry it took so long, but I'm finally back from vacation! I've also had some pretty big life changes happen, so updating might be sporadic. I apologize, but real life isn't always agreeable with my fan fiction addiction. I hope you enjoy this update.

I want to take a moment to thank my beta asongstress1422. She truly is amazing and makes what I write 100 percent better. She also writes, so go check out her stuff on AO3

Chapter Text

"I hate it when dudes try to chase me  
But I love it when you try to save me  
'Cause I'm just a lady."

~1950 by King Princess

~o~

Did he have to ignore me all morning? Rey growled to herself, slamming into her cabin.

During the team building exercises, in which Kylo had been paired up with Phasma and Amilyn Holdo, he hadn't looked at her even once.

Which didn't bother her, she told herself ripping off her sweat stained t-shirt and stomping into the bathroom. Only for some reason, it did. In a deep feminine part of her she missed having his eyes on her, looking at her like she was something he thought worthy to possess.

She shoved that idiotic thought out of her head jerking her joggers and underwear down, kicking them aside and tossed her hair up in a messy bun before turning on the shower.

A man like Kylo Ren frightened her. She knew his type, knew should be more careful with how far she let him in but she couldn't help but want to be distracted by the man. Last night she had told him they should just be friends and he had agreed.

Rey frowned remembering the small pricks of jealousy that had erupted inside her when the beautiful female executives would touch him as they completed the stupid tasks Luke had made them do. How she had lost her footing on some loose rocks because she was too busy watching Kylo help a blindfolded Phasma over an obstacle. He was only supposed to use his voice to guide his teammate across the course and Rey wanted to scream when his hands lingered on Phasma's hips for a few seconds too long.

Setting her foot on the lip of the tub, her back to the spray, Rey lathered her leg in the scented shaving cream.

She had wanted to grab Phasma's bleached white hair and pull it out from her head. A friend doesn't threaten bodily harm when he touches another woman. Walking away was the only way she could keep from looking like an angry guest on an episode of The Jerry Springer Show.

Rey had spent her whole life building the walls that kept her safe. She couldn't let one man, no matter how sexy he was, tear them down. Only bad things happened to her when she put trust in someone other than herself. She knew her body responded in all different kinds of delicious ways to him, but she wouldn't allow herself to be hurt again. Not after Poe, who had proven she wasn't good at the whole relationship thing.

"Shit," Rey hissed through clenched teeth as she nicked her ankle shaving. She watched the blood as it rolled down and tried not will away the tears that wanted to form. She was a mess. Her thoughts all centered around Kylo, that gorgeous man who not only filled her with such uncontrolled passion but also infuriated her beyond belief. She hated that she didn't feel in control of herself when she was around him.

Taking a deep break she pushed thoughts of Kylo aside as she finished her second leg and touched up her bikini line. The only thing that had kept her sane for the three hours of trust falls and mental math mania was the knowledge that when it was all over she could soak all her tension away in the onsite Jacuzzi, and that's what she was going to do.

Stepping out of the shower she patted herself dry and meticulously brushed her hair until it was tangle free before brushing her teeth. Rey wasn't an extravagant woman, but growing up like she did, she wanted to feel and look clean and tidy and that was what she spent her money on. She was fortunate to be able to visit her favorite waxing salon every three to four weeks, keep her manicure and pedicure appointment religiously, and have her hair cut and colored every six weeks.

As a girl, showers had been few and far between. Never having a mother to show her how to do all the little things that women did to keep themselves up was missing from her life. No one ever taught her how to braid her hair, shave her legs, or buy a training bra. She never had anyone talk to her about basic hygiene, the birds and the bees, or even her menstrual cycle.

She found out about her period the hard way at school. She bled all over her clothes while she sat in her 7th grade history class. She didn't even know what was happening.

To her humiliation, the blood all over her clothes didn't go unnoticed by the other girls when class ended.

"Ashtray Rey, there's something all over your butt. Did you shit your pants? " Carmen Marlow, the most popular of the mean girls, had sneered as they piled into the hallway after the bell rang.

All of Carmen's cronies stood behind her, pinching their noses as they always did when they were around Rey like she was Pig-Pen from the Charlie Brown cartoon.

The girls, of course, told the whole school, and they had a reason to laugh at Rey even more. They came from good homes, had money to buy nice things and good food; everything Rey dreamed of but didn't have. She always felt inadequate around the wealthier, more popular girls. She could still remember that humiliating feeling to this day.

She ran to the office soon after the incident. Rey thought she was dying because of all the blood. She still remembered the nurse educating her about her period and how it would happen every month. This fact terrified her. It was another expense she couldn't afford. Her foster family at the time wasn't of much help with her basic needs, much less maxi pads. The nurse, Mrs. Roberts must've known this and had made it a point to give Rey what she needed every month.

Taking a deep breath Rey reminded herself that she had plenty of money now that afforded her everything she didn't having growing up. Breathing out the negative thoughts, she focused on finding her swimsuit.

She brought several bikinis, but she settled on the one-piece. The straps crossed in the back and showed off her toned shoulders that she got from the six hours of kickboxing each week. The suit was a modest, black one but the sheer fabric across her stomach added a bit of sexiness to the simple design.

After putting on her printed cover up she grabbed her towel, slipped on her flip flops and was about to head out the door when her phone went off. Praying it wasn't another group meet up, Rey hesitantly opened her messages.

You better have a good reason for ignoring me.

Rey smiled. Best friends don't like to be kept in the dark for too long, especially Rose.

So sorry. I have so much to tell you but can't talk now. Meet soon? she typed back adding a pleading emoji at the end.

Okay. Just plan on coming to the house next weekend since you'll be missing brunch. We can grill, sit out on the back porch, and catch up. I need the details on Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. A string of heart eyes and roses followed.

Sounds like a plan.

Rey slid the phone into her oversized bag and headed out the door. She'd definitely fill Rose on on all the details of the brooding Kylo Ren. She hadn't even told her bestie about him actually being the mysterious 'Ben'. Rose was going to kill her for not keeping her in the loop.

Before she could talk about it with anyone, she had better figure out what she wanted for herself first. But she was going to do it to soaking in the warm bubbles of a Jacuzzi.

~o~

The cool mountain air filled her lungs and cleared her head. It were as if she had her own little diffuser with a pine woods essential oil dropped in it, except it was all here naturally in the great wide-open. She only had to show up and the beauty of the outdoors was all hers.

Jakku had nothing but smog-filled streets, and usually felt dry as a desert. Luke's ranch was a resort in the most beautiful of places. Rey could spend all day just staring at the bright flowers that only grew here, the snow dusted hills, and the green that was everywhere. Jakku's only color palate was brown and more brown. She could get used to this place, and the mountains definitely agreed with her.

Her head rested on the back of the Jacuzzi, and she hadn't realized she had begun to doze off until her peace was interrupted by someone approaching her quiet space. Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw a shirtless Kylo in some black board shorts, carrying an ice bucket filled with beer. He didn't smile at her, but when the corner of his lip smirked as their eyes connected, the butterflies woke up in her gut. She couldn't help but fix her eyes on his toned abs and the happy trail of hair that led down to her happy place.

"Can I join you?" he asked, but he had already begun to make his way into the water. The noise from the Jacuzzi hummed in the background, the bubbles rolled around their bodies, and the temperature of the water increased ten fold as soon as he entered. She was like a horny fifteen year old boy when it came to him. Her hormones were all over the place, and thinking dirty thoughts 24/7 was all she did lately.

"Sure," she responded nervously unsure of what to do.

The ice made a crunching noise as he pulled a couple of bottles from the bucket. He held out a one, offering it to her.

He seemed to notice her hesitation in taking the beer from him. She just knew there was more to him crashing her solitude. She'd just have to wait and see what it was. She gave him a blank stare and tried to hide her annoyance that must have been written all over her face.

"Just a friend bringing another friend a beer. No big deal. Take it," he proffered, waggling the bottle invitingly. She a had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time he threw the word friend around in her presence.

Rey relented and took the IPA and realized she had no clue how to open the darn thing. Kylo took it back and somehow used the side of the Jacuzzi and the force of his hand to make the top come right off.

It startled a snort out of her. "Quite impressive," Rey laughed taking the bottle back and setting it on the edge.

"I'm full of party tricks. You should see how fast I can solve a Rubik's cube." Rey smiled, amused at how he could be so funny but keep a straight face. She found him fascinating.

He opened his beer the same way as hers and immediately took a big swig. She liked the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. She bit the inside of her lip, trying to stop imagining her tongue sliding across that throat.

"It's nice out here." He slid his body to the corner across from Rey sinking down to his shoulders in the rolling water. "All the years I've been coming here, I've never gotten in this thing."

Rey knew Kylo had led a privileged life—had everything she'd didn't. She didn't blend well with people like him, but all she could think about was how many was she could "blend" with him. Making a noncommittal hum she closed her eyes and rested her head back trying to pretend she wasn't hyper aware of his ankle, not touching but resting, just to the left of her thigh in the water.

"So," he said slowly, and she could hear him lift his beer to his lips and take another swallow, "how was your day?"

"Now you want to know about my day?" Rey snorted derisively.

"Yes," he purred.

Rey peeked one eye open to frowned at him only to see his gaze burning over her. She stood quickly setting herself on the wide ledge of the Jacuzzi, suddenly becoming very overheated in the water and needing the mountain air to cool her off.

"So how was it?" he prompted again, raising his eyebrows a bit when he did. "You miss me?"

"No," she spat quickly, nervously peeling the label of the beer bottle looking at the trees in the distance not wanting to tell him the truth.

"So... friend," his brown eyes seemed to darken as he gazed at her, sensing the lie. "What do we want to do next?"

Rey didn't trust her self to answer so she took a long pull from her drink.

"I can tell you what I want," he set his empty beer bottle down on the deck and easily reached with his long arm to the bucket to retrieve another, "but that's not what we agreed upon last night."

She should start taking bets on how quickly it would take Kylo to make her do whatever the hell he wanted her to do. About to take another drink, she refrained. Getting buzzed around him would not be a good idea. Rey knew she needed to speak up before she ended up under his spell.

"Since we are friends, lets get to know each other each," she suggested. Good. That was good. We should...talk, she thought to herself eyes drawn almost instinctively to his lips. We've not done a lot of talking.

His face turned more serious than normal. "You don't want to know the real me."

"I actually do," she said slipping back into the water. She didn't know much about the enigmatic man—only what was on paper. She couldn't even stalk his Facebook page because he didn't have one or any of the other dozen social media platforms that were so prevalent in their society. His business life was easily accessible, but his private life was locked away tightly and it made Rey curious.

"Okay. Let's chat then," he said dryly.

"We get one question each," she offered, "and we have to answer truthfully. You can go first."

She watched as he accepted her terms and mulled a few things over in his head. She thought she saw his eyes dance just a bit when he asked, "which one is Chewy and which one is Whiskers? I've been dying to know."

Her head tilted slightly, wondering if he was taking her request seriously or not. "You can ask me anything. Anything at all, and that is the the is the question you choose?"

Shaking her head she decided she needed to have a little more alcohol in her when talking to Kylo, so she took her time in downing half of her beer.

"Well, I was going to ask you about the guy you fucked before me, but I thought that might be a little inappropriate." Rey choked mid gulp just managing to bend outside the Jacuzzi before spewing beer everywhere. "You can pick which question of mine you want to answer," he stated, a small cule to his lips that said he thought he was hilarious, when she sat back down.

The man who never laughed got a good chuckle at her expense. Rey gathered her composure and tucked her hair nervously behind her ears.

"Chewy is the brown one, and Whiskers the white."

"I figured you'd answer that one," he tipped the beer at his in a mini salute, "and I'm glad you did. I really don't want to know about anyone else who has slept with you."

Her head tilted to the side on its own. "Really?"

"Yes, really." His eyes never waver from her's as he continued, "I find myself getting jealous when it comes to you and other guys."

She was intrigued by his confession. Why would he be jealous? She realized she didn't want to talk about her past boyfriends, so she decided to press forward with her game of questions.

"My turn," she said as she took her bottom lip between her top teeth and set the beer down.

She backed out from the side of the hot tub, floating off to the center. She could reach out and touch his knee if she wanted to. She really had to force herself not to touch him. Facing him, she bobbed up and down; her head was the only thing above the surface. She spit out some of the chlorinated water that got in her mouth as she floated.

She finally got up the nerve to ask the question she had had since she first laid eyes on him. "How did you get your scar?"

The way his face completely shut down scared her. It was as if shutters were pulled down over his eyes and he ceased being. She worried her lip, concerned she had crossed some invisible too personal line. But she didn't take back her words. If he wanted he wanted this to work, he'd have to be open with her.

"Car wreck. When I was nine." He then looked up at the sky and scoffed a little, trying to play off the question as no big deal. Another big gulp of beer ran down his throat as he chugged from the brown bottle.

"Is that why you have your, um, nightmares?" she asked

"That would be more than one question," his eyes racked her, "and you'd be breaking the rules of this little thing you started."

"You can talk to me, you know." Her hand reached out and touched his knee.

Kylo leaned towards her, grabbing her hand and pulling her in closer with it. "I'm afraid information like that is privileged to those who are a little more than just friends ," he breathed against her lips.

"Would you quit throwing that word around?" she growled trying to pull her hand from his and put some distance between them, but he wouldn't let her.

"What word?" he quipped said, playing dumb.

"You know the one." She stopped fighting him holding her hand because she liked the way his engulfed her small one. Even though they were having a small argument, their attraction for one another seem to overshadow their disagreement.

"Well, isn't that what you want? Us to be friends?" His body inched towards her.

"Yes, but I didn't think you'd be a jerk about it." His face was mere inches from hers. She stood practically eye to eye in front of him from where he still sat. Tilting his head, his eyes roamed as if he were inspecting every detail of her skin. His breath was light on her cheek, and she shivered at the feeling his closeness brought.

"Oh, how little you know me," his voice whispered into her ear as his thumb made an invisible outline on her hand. She seemed to have become paralyzed by his touch.

"And whose fault it that?" she snipped back, trying to sound anger. "I'm beginning to realize trying to make a connection with you is pointless.

"I think we have made some very good connections."

Her mind turned to sex; sex at the gala and sex on her couch. Very, very good sex. She tried to shake off the tingly feeling that began emanating from the center of her body.

"I wanted a connection based off more more than just sex." Flustered, she broke the contact the two of them shared and backed away from him. "I guess that's the difference between you and me."

"There's no difference." His eyes darkened, and Rey couldn't understand how one person's eyes could show so much emotion. The way he looked at her took her voice away.

She turned away from him and looked out into the scenery around them. She forgot about where she was for a moment. Being with Kylo did that to her. He had a way of taking up the space around him and making everyone around pay attention. He was getting in her head.

Rey rested her hands on the side of the Jacuzzi for balance and filled her lungs with the fresh air, hoping it would help her get some clarity. All her life, Rey had built some pretty tough walls to protect herself. She had been hurt her entire life and worked hard to make sure that as an adult, she couldn't be hurt again. Most people would walk away and let Rey have her way when she began to feel like this. Poe did-he let her walk out the door without so much as a fight.

Most people didn't try for her. She was beginning to realize that Kylo Ren wasn't most people.

Her eyes became a little blurry and a tear slipped down her cheek. She had no idea where this emotion was coming from and was glad he couldn't see her. Don't cry. It makes you weak, Rey.

"What the-" she uttered when she felt his hands on her arms. He scared her a bit coming up to her from behind. His large hands ran up and down her arms. Taking his time, he caressed her skin and touched her so gently that she couldn't pull away.

Leaning down to her ear, he whispered, "You want me just as much as I want you."

She stood speechless. She knew her silence was her admission of guilt. Taking another big breath, she tried to say something to argue with him but failed.

"I can't do baby steps with you, Rey. Not when I want all of you. There's absolutely no holding back because I have no control when it comes to you." His strong arms wrapped around her middle pulling her flush against him.

She found herself accepting his embrace by intertwining her arms with his even as the small thread of self preservation shrieked at her. "But—"

"No 'buts', Rey," he cut her off. "Just answer this question; do you want me?" His deep, rough voice dripped with want.

It was the stupidest question she'd ever heard. Of course she wanted him. This was definitely not about want, this was about it he was good for her. He was all she ever thought about, but the tiny part of that resisted him was the survival instinct that had guarded her through her turbulent childhood. The part of her that told her not to get attached, to leave before she was left. Ignoring that would be turning her back on who she was and leave her vulnerable.

"You don't have to love me," his lips brushed their way along her neck. "Hell, you don't have to have feelings for me. Just answer me," he demanded as his embrace tightened around hers, "do you want me, Rey?"

"Yes," she breathed her response, hoping she wouldn't regret her answer. She didn't have to love him. Just fuck him. And god she wanted to fuck him; to be the one to finally have her cake and eat it too.

Keeping his arms around her she turned her body towards his, wrapping hers around him and digging her nails in his hair as she pressed herself to him, feeling his hardness on her stomach. Feeling the proof of how much he wanted her was enough to silence that little voice that told her she was wrong for wanting this.

"Use me how you want." His eyes searched hers, and she noted every freckle, every mole, and every thing about his chiseled face as she took in his words. "I just can't be around you and not know in some way you are mine."

She was taking a gamble, but he made her a deal she couldn't refuse. In milliseconds, her mouth found his greedily. Somehow their lips worked in perfect synchronization with each other without even working at it. His hands immediately made their way downward as his tongue found hers. His teeth nipped at her lips and sent small signals of pain to her brain. Her body didn't resist the feeling. In fact, she wanted more of that sensation. A little pleasure mixed with pain seemed like a good combination.

She felt his hands on her ass, and it didn't take long for him to scoop her up and put her center in direct contact with his hard cock. He pressed her firmly to him, and her pussy immediate ached with need. She couldn't believe she put him off for as long as she did.

Once the flood gates opened there was no going back.

With ease, Kylo began sliding her up and down his body under the water, making her feel so good. She wanted so much more, and she almost forgot they were in a public area.

Rey heard a group of people laughing not far from the jacuzzi, and it sounded like they were getting closer. Office relationships weren't encouraged, and Rey knew she wasn't quite ready for the world to know about her relationship, or whatever this was, with Kylo.

Before their heated embrace got even hotter, the two lovers quickly and reluctantly removed themselves from each other's grasp and found themselves at opposite ends of the Jacuzzi. Kylo had even grabbed his beer and acted as though he had been sitting in that exact spot the whole time.

She couldn't help but laugh when Hux, Phasma, Amilyn, and a few others from the office opened the gate to the Jacuzzi area. All were dressed for a dip. The only evidence of what had taking place mere moments ago was Kylo fair skin was flushed pink and his long hair was more tousled than normal that could easily be explained away by the warm water if anyone thought to ask.

"I see you two have already made use of the jacuzzi today." Phasma spoke as she removed her robe and exposed her rock hard body to the world. The woman was stacked, over six foot tall, and had a six pack to boot. The blue bikini accentuated the blonde bombshell's body just so. "We thought we'd join you."

Rey turned her eyes to Kylo, and noticed that he never took his eyes from Rey. Not even Phasma could distract him. Rey's heart smiled a bit, letting it sink in a little that Kylo just might really like her.

Hux's pale skin glowed in the sunlight, and his nose still had a glob if sunscreen that hadn't been rubbed in yet. How Kylo had ever thought Rey would be attracted to that man was beyond her.

The group began talking, and Rey soon found Kylo leaving the jacuzzi. He looked right at her when he spoke.

"I'll see all of you at dinner tonight. I have a few things I need to do before then."

Rey watched his perfect ass leave the premises and didn't even hear Hux asking her questions about work stuff.

"So, how is the IT department handling all the new traffic?" Hux had a big grin on his face, and Rey wanted nothing more than to leave and not have to talk shop with him.

She tried to pay attention, but it was difficult. His voice became white noise as he kept talking. Finally she'd had enough and stood, stepping out of the hot tub.

"Where are you going?" Hux whined.

"I have a few emails to answer."

Hux stood. "I'll walk you."

"No," she put as much authority as could fit in the two letter word without making it rude. Embarrassed, he sunk back down in the water. She smiled at the rest of the group. "I'll see everyone at dinner."

Still a bit hot and bothered from being interrupted Rey's mind drifted to how Kylo touched her as she meandered her way back to her cabin. How his pouty lips felt on hers, how the heat from his body made hers burn, and how his mouth felt as he licked her pussy so deliciously. No one had ever made her come from just their mouth.

By the time she made it inside she was ready to come out of her skin. Locking the door behind her she once more stripped down to skin stumbling her way to her bedroom.

Then the image of his ripped body hovering over her came to mind, and she immediately felt the burning again deep inside her. Even in his absence, he still dominated her body.

Lying on her bed she let her hand trail sensually downward. She passed her slick folds back and forth, thinking of him naked in front of her. Picturing him wet with little trails of water meandering down his massive, bare chest caused her need for release to heighten. She could still smell his musky, masculine scent from the other night when he was on top of her, pounding her into sexual bliss. She inserted two fingers and expertly began to move them in and out, bending them just so.

Sighing at the jolt of pleasure that shot through her as she pleasured herself, she then imagined taking his big cock in her mouth. Not having actually giving him a blow job in real life, she could only imagine what it would be like. The look in his eyes would be enough to send her over the top.

She could see herself on her knees in front of him, one her hands on his firm ass while the other moved swiftly up and down his thick shaft. The thought of her sucking him made her body tingle.

"Ahh," she cried. Her fingers felt so good as she pictured herself taking him fully in her mouth. She imagine him cursing and saying her name all at once as she swallowed when he came.

Bringing her other hand into play she began applying pressure to her clit, which began her ascent to her beautiful orgasm. The only thing better than her pussy feeling like it did in this moment would be if Kylo were actually there, making her scream his name over and over again.

Then the thought of him taking her from behind flashed in her mind. She could hear the rhythm of their skin hitting each other in a fury of erratic beats, each one pulling the essence of completeness from the other until they were spent.

"Come for me, Rey," she heard him whisper in her reverie.

"Oh. Oh!" she squeaked out as her hips bucked.

As her pussy clenched one last time, she finally relaxed, temporarily sedated by her orgasm. She paused for a few minutes, trying to get her breathing under control. Her air supply was always lacking when Kylo was in the picture. Maybe a little self-love would keep her from wanting to jump his bones every time he was close.

Her cellphone jangled from where she left it on the nightstand. Absolutely spent, she reached over and pulled it towards her. One new message, she opened it.

You know, my sleep really suffers when you're not in bed with me...Can I visit you after dinner? - Kylo

She felt her cheeks burning and had no trouble texting a quick reply back to him.

Sure. An evil grin took over her face and their new partnership allowed her to be bold in her next message. Hopefully we won't be sleeping much.

I fucking hope not.

Rolling on her back she gave herself a few more minutes of orgasmic bliss before getting up to take another shower. She was going to bring out the big guns for dinner tonight.

Notes:

I probably won't update here anymore, just on ao3. I get maybe one review a chapter here, so I don't see the point, it'll be on ao3.


	10. Liebestraum No 3

"O love as long as love you can,

O love, as long as love you may,

The time will come,

The time will come

When you will stand at the grave and mourn!

Be sure that your heart burns,

And holds and keeps love

As long as another heart beats warmly

With its love for you."

~ _Liebestraum No. 3_ by Liszt

"A penny for your thoughts," Amilyn greeted Kylo in the parlor of as she handed him a glass of champagne. "You're always intense, but tonight you look like you're plotting to take over the world."

Kylo chuckled at Amilyn and took the glass. "I guess I'm just lost in my thoughts." He certainly was lost in his thoughts, but they were only of Rey. She hadn't arrived to the main house yet, and the longer he waited for her, the more he paced the room in eager anticipation of her body being close to his.

"Your eyes do that brooding thing when you concentrate." She took a sip of the bubbly, and Kylo watched her survey the people in the room. Various servers walked around with trays of food and drink, and a pianist played quietly in the corner. It was a swanky affair for their last night at the retreat.

"You noticed that?" He thought it unusual that anyone would be aware of anything about him.

"We all see it," she revealed, patting him on his arm. He tried to ignore how she lingered a bit too long on his bicep and lightly squeezed it through the material of his white button-up.

"Who is 'we' and should I ask why you notice the way I look?" He questioned in a curious tone.

"Nope. Not unless you want me to tell you about all the women who secretly think you're a hot boss who are all too scared to approach you," she smirked obviously having had one too many.

"I think I'll pass on that information," he said with a genuine chuckle. Before Rey, he would have pursued the possibility of multiple women in the office liking him and what could come of it. Now, he had tunnel vision for one woman.

Amilyn kept drinking and didn't stop talking. Kylo tried to listen, but he was too focused on watching the door for Rey.

In his thirty-four years he'd had many women. In fact, he used to take great pride on the number of conquests he made. Even though countless women had tried, none of those tumbles in the sheets had ever turned into relationships.

Kylo Ren, Vice President of the largest renewable energy company in America, didn't do relationships-until now, and the woman he wanted didn't want anything more than sex. He told himself that he was okay with her using him as long as it kept her close. For now, the greedy part of him thought this arrangement would work. He didn't know for how long, nor did he care.

He was completely and utterly under her spell. But he wanted all of Rey Vassoura and would be at her beck and call for as long as it took to make her his own. He just needed to find the crack in the wall she built around herself and somehow work his way into her heart.

Soon the doors of the parlor opened, and the one he'd been waiting on finally arrived. Kylo's brain went on hiatus and stopped mid-sentence in the conversation he struggled to have with Amilyn. The room seemed to follow his lead as if they all recognized the beauty that entered their space. Wearing a knee-length, black skirt tailored perfectly to fit her curves paired with an emerald green blouse, she had Kylo's full attention.

His eyes flared at Hux as she passed by in a pair of black heels. The ginger seemed to stare a little too long at her, and Kylo would happily gouge Hux's eyes out if it meant he wouldn't look at Rey like he wanted to devour her. He did enjoy the envious look on Hux's face when Rey chose the chair next to Kylo. Beating Hux in any way gave Kylo way too much pleasure.

As dinner progressed, Kylo played nice above the table—it was all business, fake smiles, and casual conversation.

Under the table was a whole different story.

"Five seasons in one week. All I did was watch that damn show. I was hooked," Phasma declared to everyone. The top executives always had lively discussions. This evening, their conversation centered around Netflix, Hulu, and all the shows one could binge watch on all the streaming platforms. Kylo pretended to listen to Phasma but didn't give a damn about "Breaking Bad" or any of the other shows they raved about. He wanted to binge on Rey; take her somewhere and not come up for air for days.

"Same here. That show was so intense. After falling asleep one night after a really gruesome episode, I had a dream someone tried breaking into my house, but when I woke up, it was just my dog scratching at the door to get back inside. Scared the shit out of me," Hux laughed. Ben wanted to roll his eyes at the man but refrained.

"The character development in that show was brilliant," someone else added, but Kylo was no longer paying attention.

Rey leaned into him on his left. Her subtle perfume occupied his personal space, filling him with desire. The smell of a faint floral perfume had already made him hard. She wore that particular scent on both occasions they had been intimate. Her distinct scent immediately caused him to want her. He was thankful for the long tablecloth to hide his attraction to the exquisite woman next to him.

Mid-laugh, he watched from the corner of his eye her expression change as he placed his hand on her bare thigh, caressing her and moving closer to the place he'd loved to be tasting. Her laugh faded into a nervous chuckle, and she took a quick swig of her Pinot Grigio. His hand moved further up.

Rey kept a smile on her face as she scooted her chair closer to the table, letting the tablecloth hide any indiscretions.

"What are you doing?" she questioned him barely audible. She obviously acted annoyed with her tone of voice, but her body gave different cues.

"Touching you." His kneading of her skin continued. "Shall I stop?" he asked barely above a whisper.

Her fingers pulled her curled locks behind her ears, and she sat up straight as if mesmerized by the conversation at the table.

Her legs opened wider for him.

"Good choice," he murmured in her direction.

Making his way to her warm center, his knuckles ran over the fabric of her silky panties. He'd pay a million dollars to see her in whatever lingerie she wore tonight.

"You're already so wet for me," he whispered in her ear.

"Hmm Mmm, you kind of have that effect on me," she hummed. He hooked the fabric with his fingers, moving it to the side to make her available to him. Rey shifted her hips a bit to make sure he had as much room to work as possible. He enjoyed how her slickness covered his fingers with every pass, making his cock yearn to be there.

"I'd love to hear your opinions about 'The Office'. Which one is better-the American version or the British one?" Rey asked the group at the table as if she weren't being touched in the most intimate of ways under the table.

With her question about "The Office", the debate began with those at the table. The executives had already put away numerous bottles of wine, so it didn't take much to get everyone riled up and start their drunken discourse.

As the liveliness went on around them, his finger entered her and began its work. He leaned more to her, making sure his body blocked a direct view to hide his devilry. He took a giant gulp of wine as he slid in and out of her wetness. How she kept a straight face, he didn't know.

Hiking her skirt up even more, Rey made sure he had an all-access pass. He almost came from the feeling of velvet surrounding him. Imagining his cock doing the work of his finger drove him crazy and made her the object of his desires. He didn't need a damn Netflix show to entertain him when he had everything he wanted literally at his fingertips.

Kylo's palm pressed down on her clit, rubbing it gently but adding enough pressure to get a reaction out of her. He watched Rey grip the white tablecloth in one of her hands as the other covered her mouth, muffling any sound of pleasure she might emit. She bucked a little when he added a second finger and picked up his pace.

No one noticed how quiet Rey had gotten. They didn't see her trying to stifle the moans or make sure her body didn't give away what was being done to her. Kylo saw it all, and he reveled in it. No one had a clue what was going on under the table because the lively discussion above the table had morphed into everyone quoting and acting out their favorite episodes and rolling with laughter in the process.

No one noticed the quiet orgasm the IT director rode out while they sang "Staying Alive" and laughed about the crazy CPR episode. Rey laughed along with them, and Kylo noticed she had trouble catching her breath.

"Don't you agree, Rey?" Hux asked out of the blue, waking Kylo and Rey from their fog.

"I'm sorry? Agree to what?" Rey asked back a little groggy. She shifted in her seat but never tried to move Kylo's hand that still was inside her.

"The British version was funnier, don't you think? These guys don't agree," Hux, a Brit like her, smiled as he spoke above the others who disagreed with him.

"I actually adore the American version. Sorry, Hux!" The table clapped at her answer as if it proved their point. The table roared in agreement with Rey and in the next moment, they were on to something else, not even paying attention to the two lovers.

Kylo reluctantly pulled his fingers from her warmth which allowed her to put her clothes back in place. He watched as she drank her tall glass of water and used her napkin to take care of the sweat beading on her upper lip. He used his napkin to wipe her juices that dripped from his fingers. He'd rather be sucking the delicious, salty taste of her instead of wasting it on the linen, but he couldn't lick his fingers in front of everyone. Kylo did own some manners.

Rey angled herself towards his body, leaning on her elbow. She motioned for him to come closer. He obliged and tipped his head down to her.

Her hand meandered to the bulge in his dress pants. He was so ready for her.

"I want you," Rey rubbed his cock in a slow, torturous manner, "to fuck me now."

Shaking the table as he pushed his chair back, Kylo immediately looked for an exit plan to be alone with her.

"We need to get out of here," he demanded in a hushed tone. He took a few deep breaths before he stood. How he was going to get out of here without everyone seeing his erection was beyond him.

"Just follow me closely and I'll hide your little—I mean, big issue," she said in a flirty tone, winking at him.

Their plan worked like a charm until Luke met them at the doorway. They were so close to escaping.

"Kylo, I have an urgent matter to speak with you about. Can I have a moment?" Luke eyed the two impatient employees, but he soon just stared at Kylo.

 _Fuck,_ Kylo groaned to himself. He couldn't brush off his CEO, even if he wanted to. Tonight was one of those times where he wanted to use Rey's words and tell Luke to _buggar off._ The erection had deflated at the mentioning of a late-night meeting. Nothing like his Uncle Luke to be a boner killer.

Luke turned quickly and headed to his office, and seemed to assume Kylo would follow him.

He assumed right.

The look of disappointment on Rey's face just about killed Kylo, but he knew he had to take this meeting. Things were changing in the company, and he needed to show he was ready and willing to be a part of those changes.

Alone in the hallway, he pulled her into his body. Their lips met in a short but intense kiss. Pulling away, their mouths didn't stray far from each other.

"I'll come to you when I'm done. Promise." His longing for her increased with every step he took away from her.

He had an ominous feeling as he walked into Luke's office at this late hour for the impromptu meeting.

"Thank you for meeting with me, Ben." Luke plopped in a wingback chair, holding out his hand to a matching empty chair across from him. Kylo followed suit.

"I'm not Ben anymore," he corrected his uncle.

"Sorry, Kylo. My mistake. After all these years, I still have trouble with your new name. I've always told you, you'll always be Ben to me."

"It's not that new, and as I've always told you, Ben died a long time ago." Kylo knew his uncle knew better, but Luke never missed a chance to remind his nephew of his beginnings.

They stared in silence, daring the other to speak first. Quiet filled the room for what seemed like forever.

"He was a good man." Luke finally spoke first. He crossed his legs and placed his interlocked fingers on his middle.

"I don't think Ben was that good." Kylo shifted in his seat uncomfortable with the direction this conversation headed.

"I wasn't talking about you." Luke looked directly at his nephew. Kylo studied the green walls, the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, the oil painting on the back wall. He looked everywhere except at Luke.

"I don't talk about it. Ever." He rubbed his palms together, making his arms hurt from how hard he pressed. He didn't talk about it because the pain from losing the man he loved never went away.

"I think we need to talk about it because there's been a snag in my plan."

Kylo's interest piqued. "What plan?"

"The one that makes you inherit all this." Luke casually swept his hand across his body into the room. "The one that where you're CEO after I step down sometime in the coming months, and you take over everything I've built," Luke cleared his throat,"I mean, what you've helped me build."

Kylo sat with his hands on his knees, staring at his uncle. He'd wanted that title for so long, and now the time had come. But, there was a catch, and he was afraid of the hoops he'd have to jump through to get what he wanted.

"Your mother still sits on the board. She owns more than half our stock."

"So," Kylo gave a heavy sigh, "she has to cast her vote for me?"

"Yes, and I'm afraid you don't have it. She has other plans." Luke looked pained to tell him the news.

It didn't surprise Kylo that his mother didn't want him to lead the company. Yet another disappointment in his life caused by his mother.

After the wreck, he vividly remembered his rehab as a young boy and the fact that she never visited. He could still feel his excitement when he finally walked without the walker, but his joy was short lived. As he struggled to put one foot in front of the other, he searched through the small crowd of people to see her proud face. Instead, he realized at nine-years-old the mother he once knew was no more. Without Han, she ceased to function with any emotions at all.

From that point on, she became an absentee parent. She traveled constantly, worked obsessively, and shut herself off in her room whenever she was home. Ben wasn't a thought in her mind. Leia missed recitals, band concerts, and other mundane activities good parents should never miss.

He thought back to the event that was the straw that broke the camel's back; the one that made him leave for good. Leia failed to show up at his last recital for his honors music class, even though she had forced him to practice like a maniac for it. He finally had been hurt enough and wanted to be away from her for good. When he finally left his childhood home, she didn't say a word; she didn't even look up from the book she read.

His mother was impossible, and becoming CEO would mean he'd have to try and move mountains.

"Who does she want?" Kylo asked, looking at a nervous man across from him.

"Armitage."

Once the name left Luke's lips, Kylo raged on the inside. He'd been at the company five years longer and had done more to promote the company and gain revenue than Hux had."You're kidding?"

"No, I'm not. You need to make nice with her." Luke left the comfort of the leather chair and began pouring himself a drink. "Scotch?" Kylo nodded. Luke poured another one.

"That's asking a lot. We haven't spoken since I was seventeen. She's just doing this to mess with me, you know." Kylo downed the Scotch in one gulp.

"Maybe so, but she's a powerful woman." Luke brought the bottle of Bowman's over and poured another round for his distraught nephew. "If you want to be CEO, then you need to mend fences with Leia and somehow make her see we need to keep the company in the family. I want to build a legacy. Hux will ruin everything."

Kylo swirled his second Scotch around in the crystal glass, imagining what he must do. He'd have to make up for twenty-five years of being a bad son. The messed up part was that she'd never admit to being a bad mother.

"You're both going to need to deal with your father in the process. You both lost him. Both of you still hurt. You're both too stubborn to see that you need one another."

"She made it very clear that I'm not her son." Another shot of Scotch burned down the back of his throat. Luke didn't offer more.

"Leia wasn't in her right mind, and you were a child."

"She blames me for my dad's death, you know."

"And, you know that's not true. You weren't driving. You didn't cross the line," Luke countered.

"Yea, well, tell that to her." Kylo ran his fingers through his hair and stood, needing to get the hell out of the office. "Sometimes I feel like it would've been better if he were the one who survived the wreck and not me." He set his glass with a loud clink on Luke's oversized, mahogany desk and made his way to the door. Neither man spoke another word. Drudging up family history didn't sit well with either of them.

Kylo closed the door behind him and leaned against a nearby wall, feeling unsteady on his trembling legs. Fighting his emotions, he wiped his wet cheeks. He hadn't cried in years, so why now? His fingers wiped unfamiliar wetness from the scar on his cheek. The disfigurement was his constant reminder of his dad and the tragic night he lost him. The more he tried to bury his past, it kept coming back to haunt him. Now, he'd have to dig it up and lay it out for everyone to see in order to become CEO.

Before Rey appeared in his life, ambition motivated him most. After his father's death and the subsequent emotional shut down of his mother, he concluded he was the only person on whom he could depend. His career drove him to push for excellence and become the most powerful man in the room. This career at Skywalker Enterprises didn't make him happy nor did it fulfill him, but yet, he still gave one hundred percent to the company. He was damn good at what he did, and that must have been why Luke had bequeathed the CEO job to him tonight-well, sort of.

After their meeting, he wasn't so sure what he was going to do. He realized the driving force behind all his success was to prove to his mother that he was someone of value. He only wanted her to love him. After his father's death, he never felt he could be loved by anyone. Then came Rey and the possibility of love opened up to him.

He wanted to go to her like he'd promised, but he was in no shape for romance. Even though she was everything he'd ever need, he didn't want to scare her away from how he felt right now. He stormed down the hallway and just by chance, he saw a piano.

The gas-lit light fixtures flickered in the parlor of Luke's main house. Only a few staff still worked at this late hour, cleaning up the remnants of joyful gathering that filled this space not but a few hours ago.

Defeated, Kylo hunched over the keys of the grand piano that sat in the shadows of the back corner of the room where they had served hors d'oeuvres and champagne. The tips of his fingers brushed over the white keys, feeling their coolness. He hadn't touched a piano in years, not since he left his mother's house.

An open C chord reverberated off the walls of the darkened room.

Not long ago Kylo's body sung with anticipation of things to come for the night with Rey. Then he had the meeting with his uncle that made him revisit the event that irrevocably changed his life. If Kylo, or Ben as he was then, had not forgotten his tuba, his father would still be here and not be a ghost that constantly followed him.

Using his right hand, he began playing a simple tune he remembered learning in grade school. He didn't know the name or the words to it, but he persisted, finishing the ditty.

His mother made him practice for hours and hours on this instrument, and he hated every moment of it. The drive for perfection ran deep in his blood. Once he left that life behind, he vowed never to touch a piano again.

He laughed to himself. It was the second promise he broke tonight. The first one was not seeing Rey like he told her he would.

The overwhelming feeling of regret set in. Regret for how he handled his mother. Regret for not seeing Rey. Regret for being alive.

His left hand joined the keyboard, and he began playing the melody of a piece he performed in his last recital when he was seventeen. "Liebesträume No. 3" had been banned from his thoughts since then. Too many bad memories came from it, but now, it soothed him.

Playing the beautiful melody was just like riding a bicycle. Dusting off the old sheet music in his memory, he began to remember the song as if he had played it yesterday, and he welcomed it. It washed away the anxiety that bubbled inside him.

He concentrated harder on the music, increasing his intensity over the trickier parts that called for his fingers to move faster than his train of thought. So entranced with the song, he didn't notice the workers still cleaning up around him. His muscle memory kicked in when he began mindlessly playing the first cadenza. He hoped it would help him push aside his feelings of regrets.

Playing rapidly didn't help him forget.

She was probably asleep by now, and he didn't want to wake her in the state he was in. When he finally could get her alone, he wanted to be able to take his time with her, touch every surface of her skin, find out what parts were ticklish, and discover what made her scream in ecstasy.

Right now, being twisted inside as he was, he would end up fucking her like an animal. Rey would bear the brunt of all his anguish. She didn't deserve that part of him inflicted on her. Rey was too pure to experience that dark place that never left his soul.

The more he replayed the meeting, the harder his fingers hit the keys. The constant key changes in the love song he played echoed as he reached the climactic section. The menagerie of notes sounded chaotic, much like his mind at the moment. He hated feeling the turmoil. He'd spent the better part of twenty-five years burying his pain, and now it looked like he'd have to face the demons that never went away.

"You didn't come to me." Her voice laced with a bit of sadness called out from the doorway.

His fingers stopped mid-measure. He could hear his breathing now, and it sounded like he had finished a marathon. No longer focused on the music, he looked to her.

Barefoot, she fidgeted with the belt of her white, terrycloth robe. Something shiny and black peeked out from where it was loosely tied. What she wore under the robe intrigued him. The look she gave him made him fear that she wouldn't let him see more of what hid underneath.

Rey moved out of the doorway and started her way towards him. Stopping short, out of reach from him, she leaned against the piano—her body stiff and rigid.

The sound of glasses clinked across the room and reminded him they weren't alone. He didn't care if they heard him play the piano, but he didn't want anyone else around when she came near him.

"Gentlemen, would you mind leaving us, please ?" Kylo called out to the two men who worked quietly in the room. Without hesitation, the workers left and closed the doors.

"People always do what you tell them to do?" Rey snapped, keeping her arms crossed and body closed off to him. He didn't like it one bit.

One of his hands seized her hip and pulled her down the keys of the piano to middle C, placing her between his knees. She faced him where he sat.

"...I guess so," she whispered as she unfolded her arms, playing a few notes as she set her hands down on the keyboard.

He didn't say a word in response to her. His hands circled her small waist, tethering himself to her. He sighed in relief as he rested his weary head on her stomach. Feeling her hands in his hair gave him a sense of calm he hadn't felt since before his meeting.

"Kylo," she murmured, "what's wrong?" Her hands circled in his hair.

The way she said his name made him feel like he belonged to someone other than himself. No one had ever said his name like she did, and he wondered if facing his mom would be worth it. He'd rather spend his time with the woman who made him feel like he mattered instead of trying to make amends with the woman who made him feel invisible since his father died.

"Talk to me," her fingers pulled his hair and tugged his head to look up at her.

Hesitating a bit, he finally decided to talk. "Um, I got some bad news."

She gently kissed his forehead, lingering a bit on his skin. "And?" she asked quietly.

"I have to talk to my mother."

"What's so bad about talking to your mother?" He forgot she didn't know her own mother and probably would give anything to talk to her. He felt like such an ass.

"I haven't spoken to her in seventeen years. We don't exactly get along." It wasn't that they argued and didn't see eye-to-eye about things. One had to actually communicate with the other to have conflict.

"Oh." Her face looked dejected, but her eyes still sparkled reflecting the gas lanterns in the room.

"Rey?" He began untying the belt of her robe.

"Yes?" His eyes darted up to her and caught her watching him with her lip tucked in her teeth. He loved how she looked when she did that like she was eagerly anticipating his next move.

"I don't want to talk," he said, swooping her up and setting her on top of the piano. Her feet rested on the keys below, making a beautiful melody all on their own. The robe fell down her shoulders exposing the black nightie underneath. Kylo studied the garment. It had a deep cut down the middle where the valley of her cleavage teased him hidden behind the intricate design of lace. The bottom of the chemise got lost where it met the robe that still covered her legs. She surprised him whenever they were together. Before he'd slept with her, he thought she was the most innocent creature. Now looking at her, there was no one more seductive than she.

"God, you're everything," he proclaimed. His hands traveled below her robe and encompassed both her thighs, slowly gliding them up and then back down her warm flesh. Her knees separated as he touched her, and her body welcomed him. It were as if the gates of his heaven opened, and he was granted grace to enter.

Standing, he looked down at her and knew this woman was his anchor, the one who made him feel he like he was no longer drifting aimlessly away from shore. He needed her, and he wanted to do all he could to make her completely his.

Instead of kissing him, Rey's nose circled around his ear, his hair, his cheek. He could feel her shallow breaths puff on his flesh as she did. Not moving a centimeter, he let her explore, breathing him in. His body sensed her every movement. Her exploration soon rested at the top of his scar. He felt her lips tickle the skin where the mark began, and she traced every part of the long gash with her mouth. As she kissed him there, the place that reminded him daily of the loss that happened on that rainy night, he gripped the fleshy part of her ass, knowing Rey somehow made his tragic past a little less awful. Tilting his head up a bit, he let her continue kissing the scar that traveled down his neck. With each touch of her lips, a little bit of the pain went away.

"I'm so sorry, Kylo," she whispered in between kisses. Was she sorry for the scar-the one that required too many stitches to count? Or, was she sorry for his broken relationship with his mom? He really didn't care too much to think about it. Her kisses righted all the wrongs in his life.

Needing her near, he closed the space between them, and she welcomed his body between her thighs. Her lips pulled away, and as she lifted her hands to his face, she allowed her robe to slide off her legs and fall to the floor. Her exposed body begged to be kissed everywhere because it wasn't enough to just touch her.

His mouth went directly to her shoulder; his fingers moved the spaghetti strap away from where his lips wanted to be. As he moved over her skin, tasting her, he felt her pulling his dress shirt from where it had been tucked into his pants. Her nimble fingers expertly unbuttoned his shirt and did it faster than he could've done so himself. She began pushing his shirt off his body energetically as if she were on a mission to get him naked as fast as possible.

He helped finish ripping the shirt off his arms and went back in to kiss her. He took her mouth harder than normal. Kylo internally scolded himself. With his roller coaster of emotions, he needed to reel it in so he wouldn't hurt her. She made a small noise as his hands pressed firmly to her cheeks, jerking her to him. He didn't even remember breathing.

Worried about the semantics of fucking her on the piano, he was thankful the music stand was down, which gave her the small space where she sat. He thought for a moment as he let her tongue play with his and almost got lost in the connection of their kiss. Connecting with her in a more intimate way was going to be difficult, standing in front of the keyboard.

"Hold on a moment," he spoke softly, pulling away from her and walking to the side of the piano. "Come over here," he requested, closing the lid. She swiveled her legs over to him and shifted across the top of the piano to the curve of the black instrument where he now stood.

"Over here okay with you?" he asked when she met him, allowing him back between her thighs. His cock was perfectly aligned with her; the ideal position to claim her.

Without words, she crossed her arms over her stomach and grabbed the bottom of her lingerie. She pulled it up and off her body, leaving her completely naked. She wore no panties. Her olive skin glowed in the flickering light of the lanterns, and she never looked more alluring.

"Fuck, Rey," he groaned. Uninhibited Rey was a gift to him. Her sensuality flowed from her, filling him with nothing but a base need to have her.

"It's more than okay." She opened her legs, spreading herself wide. Her pussy lips were wet and ready for him. Her hand meandered down to her clit where she started rubbing herself, moaning a bit as she did. "I know you think I'm delicate, but I'm a lot tougher than I look." She moaned again from the work her fingers were doing. He stood mesmerized at how this beautiful woman could actually be his real-life, sexual fantasy.

"I want to take care of you, but I'm afraid I'll hurt you," he responded to her words as he forcefully undid his belt and the top button of his pants. Simultaneously, he unzipped and kicked them off his body in no time at all. His cock strained against the black, boxer briefs he wore.

"You won't hurt me, and remember I want to take care of you, too," she purred, taking her hand from her pussy and started caressing his aching cock. "And what you need right now is to fuck me. You need to fuck me hard." His ass felt her other hand stroking him.

As he hurriedly rid himself of his last stitch of clothing, he watched her lay back on the piano—her arms above her head draped around her brown hair. Her legs open; her warmth waiting.

"I want you now," she called out, looking at him with her hooded lids.

So ready to dive into the depths of her, he almost forgot about a condom. In rapid succession, Kylo found one in his pant's pocket, ripped it open, and slid it on.

Urgency overtook him. His immediate need to be inside her was the only thing on his mind. Taking a few steps, he lined up with her and in one motion, entered her to the hilt.

"Fuuuuck," he moaned, feeling her fully. As he pushed hard into her, her back arched, sending her breasts to the sky. He wanted to suck on her hard nipples and take his time exploring her, but his body needed to find its release sooner than later with the way he felt tonight.

Kylo's hands pulled at her hips, ramming her into him with all his strength. It must have felt good to her with the noises she made as she writhed on top of the piano.

The sound of skin on skin and their moans of pleasure echoed throughout the room. He thrust into her with his brute strength, hoping she'd let him know if it was too much. She invited him to be rough, knowing he needed to release years of tension and anger. Rey gifted herself to him so he could his body of the hurt he felt.

"That's it, baby. Let it go," she urged as he pumped his energy into her.

"I'm not going to last," Kylo grunted, moving one of her legs over his shoulder. The switch in position had his dick going even farther in her.

"Keep...fucking...me...right...there, Kylo!" she screamed. Obviously, he hit the right spot.

Hearing her scream his name sent him over the edge. The tightness in his balls hit him at once, and his hips thrust into her one last time with a force that shook the 1,000-pound instrument. As his seed spilled into her, undecipherable noises came out of his mouth. He'd never come that fast and hard.

Not yet finished, Rey orbited her hips a little more around his cock, working on her climax. He was spent and couldn't move, but his cock was at her disposal.

"Oh. OH!" she finally called out as he felt her pussy tightening around him. Her hands gripped the edge of the piano behind her.

She woke him up from his haze when she raised herself up and took him in her arms. He reciprocated the intimate gesture and happily wrapped her in his. With her breasts pressed against his sweaty chest, he couldn't think of a place he'd rather be.

"Thank you," he uttered after a few minutes of silence.

"Hmm Mmm," she hummed sleepily.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?" he whispered in her ear.

"I just did," she joked. Her hands ran back and forth across his chest.

"You know what I mean."

"Of course I will," she answered. "But under one condition, though." Her finger trailed down between his abs.

"What's that?" He asked, still trying to catch his breath.

"You tell me everything about that night."

He didn't hesitate, knowing it was an important step in bringing her in closer to him. If he wanted to make her his own, he'd have to give a part of himself he never gave to anyone. His heart felt lighter than it had in a while. Tonight she saved him from the darkness, and he looked forward to a good night's sleep. For when they slept, the nightmares would stay away with her next to him.

"Ok. I"ll tell you everything." He kissed the her temple.

"You promise?"

"I promise." And, it was one he vowed not to break.


	11. High Enough

Do you see anyone other than me?  
Baby, please  
I'll take a hit of whatever you got  
Maybe two, maybe three  
Oh, you're phenomenal, feel like a domino, fall to my knees  
I am a malady, you are my galaxy, my sweet relief, oh, oh, oh

I used to like liquor to get me inspired  
But you look so beautiful, my new supplier  
I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking  
But I found a different buzz  
The world is a curse, it'll kill if you let it  
I know they got pills that can help you forget it  
They bottle it, call it medicine  
But I don't need drugs

'Cause I'm already high enough  
You got me, you got me good  
I'm already high enough  
I only, I only, I only got eyes for you.

~"High Enough" by K Flay

~o~

"You can't wear that to a backyard barbeque," Rey scolded as Kylo descended down the curved, hardwood stairs of his home.

It was exactly as she'd imagined with a large open layout, and panoramic windows that showed off the beautiful Hanna City from its high perch in the swanky neighborhood. The walls were done all in gray tones which contrasted beautifully with the dark wood accents of the furniture. Kylo was a minimalist, not one to have too much in frivolous decorations, but what he did have was tastefully expensive. The art he had chosen to hang on his walls we abstract enough to have cost him a very shiny penny.

Stopping halfway down he craned his neck to survey his attire. Black dress pants with the same color button-up wasn't what Rey had in mind when he was asked to go with her to Rose and Finn's house today. He even wore a pair of pointy-toed dress shoes to match.

"What's wrong with this? It's casual, isn't it?"

She tipped her head to the side to get the full effect. "It looks like you should be singing 'The Music of the Night' to Christine. All that you're missing is a cape and a white mask,"

He looked at her with a slight frown, "I don't even know what you just said."

"Phantom of the Opera?" she laughed as his pouty lips twisted a bit in confusion. "The longest-running Broadway musical of all time? You have to have heard of it."

"I'm not a moron. Of course I've heard of it, I'm just not one for musicals."

"You don't know what you're missing. I love them! I'll take you to one soon and show you how good they are." She set her book down on the sofa she had been relaxing on all morning, pushed the flannel blanket off her legs, and made her way towards the tall man waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her. "But first we need you to change." She ran her forefinger down a few of the shiny buttons to his belt loop. He looked amazing in everything he wore, but she knew all about how important it was for one to blend in with their surroundings. Rose and Finn weren't born with a silver spoon in their mouths like Kylo, so her new love would definitely stick out wearing his expensive threads among the crowd that would be there tonight.

"Then what do you suggest I wear?" she held his attention with her touch. "I don't do casual very well apparently."

"Well, let's go back upstairs to your closet and have a look." Rey felt his hand encapsulate hers and grinned at the sweet gesture.

Rey had enjoyed the past week, liking the no-strings-attached approach she and Kylo had put into place. Since they came back from the retreat, they had settled into a comfortable routine with one another. Rey wasn't ready to call him her boyfriend or even claim they were dating yet; she knew just she enjoyed his company. A lot. Especially the sex.

He seemed to be starved for her, wanting her constantly, and she happily obliged. He made her happier than she'd been in a long time. Rey had almost forgotten how regular sex lifted her spirits and made her outlook on life a little more positive. It didn't hurt that Kylo made sure her thirst was quenched, multiple times, whenever they were together. The smile on her face was damn near permanent now.

Even Maz had asked who the lucky man was in her life, and Rey played coy not letting her know that she was sleeping with a coworker. Although Maz was older than the stars, she was still a woman and knew what being satisfied looked like. Rey's subordinates kept asking about her skincare routine because she was practically glowing and looking younger every day. Fucking Kylo was just good for her soul. Who knew?

Rey shuffled her bare feet along the cold wood, following his large, chiseled body into his closet. Her jaw dropped in astonishment.

"Oh my God! I've never seen a closet this large. Oprah would be jealous." She surveyed the dark, wood shelves on top of shelves full of shoes, all sorted by color and style. All shirts and pants were hung in a similar fashion. He even had a small island with a granite countertop in the middle. Rey couldn't even imagine what he would need with such a thing.

"I like clothes," he said defensive, "is there anything wrong with that?"

"No, not at all. I wouldn't have guessed you to be such a clothes hound, that's all."

"Well, Ms. Vassoura, since you are the fashion expert for barbecues," he began undoing his shirt, tugging at the buttons in a hurried fashion. "What should I wear for such a special occasion?" His muscles rippled as he shrugged out of the shirt letting it fall to the floor.

Pulling her eyes from him was close to torture but she refused to be distracted, not with something as important as meeting her friends for the first time

"I'm going to need you to get in some jeans, so take those slacks off now," she said turning to look over her options

"You like getting me naked, don't you?" he purred.

She felt the tingling begin in her belly as she heard him strip down to his boxer briefs. Her mouth went dry imagining his beautiful body being bared for her.

"These ones?" he whispered against her neck, arm coming around to grab the jeans her hand hand unseeingly latched onto.

The fabric fell from nerveless fingers as she spun around, her lips immediately meeting his. The temperature rose a million degrees in ten seconds. They didn't have time to do what she had on her mind, but that fact never stopped them. Her panties were soaked just anticipating his touch. This insane attraction was the exact reason they'd been late to work every morning this week. And, maybe the reason for them arriving late to a few meetings as well. There were so many empty offices on the tenth floor that needed to be christened. The janitor's closet in the IT department made due in a moment of urgency as well.

Once she told him she wanted him, the floodgates opened, and she was making up for six months of a dry spell. Even at the beginning of their relationship, she and Poe didn't have sex at this frequency. Rey felt inhibited even in the most intimate settings with Poe. He was a good lover, but she grew tired of the same thing—missionary in the bed they shared.

Kylo was like no lover she'd ever had— spontaneous yet planned, experimental yet traditional. Rey never knew what to expect. He would fuck her hard and fast from behind in the kitchen while they made dinner and be done before the sauce boiled over. Then he'd make love to her when the night fell, taking hours to pay homage to every centimeter of her flesh. The man she told herself she was using just for his body excited her and brought her to her knees (literally) on a daily basis. She ignored any part of her that was falling for him.

She ought to be exhausted, but every orgasm seemed to spur on the need for another. When she was around Kylo, she could feel his want for her oozing out from him. She'd never allowed herself to become a sexual goddess, and now she was blossoming into one under the tender touch of one Kylo Ren.

"Oh Rey, I enjoy the way you look at me" She like the way his voice dripped with lust. His pouty mouth was pure sex.

"I know," she panted softly. She got a high from watching how his cock hardened before her very eyes, loving the dominance she had over such a powerful man. She fell to her knees, needing him in her mouth. Both sets of hands frantically pushed his underwear down to his ankles, leaving him naked for her pleasure. His cock stood at attention, his tip red and throbbing.

She learned he was like a Labrador puppy after she had had her lips on his dick for the first time. After she licked him clean after he came, she could see the glimmer of devotion in his eyes.

Every time they were together, he'd satisfy her, emptying her completely. The satisfaction didn't last; she was left always wanting more. His cock was a drug she craved. If she went too long, her body shook with withdrawal.

"Shit, Rey," he hissed when she gently licked the sensitive skin around his tip.

She didn't waste any time this go round. She took him fully in her mouth and hummed as she thrust his cock as far as it would loved how he took her hair delicately in his hands, pulling it away from her face. The strands that loosened from his grip tickled her neck as they fell like feathers across her skin as her mouth filled with his thickness.

"Are you wet for me, Rey?" he grunted, pushing his hips into her face. Her nails clawed at the flesh of his tight ass.

She slipped his hardness out of her mouth, letting her hand began traveling firmly up and down his slick cock. "Such a stupid question, Kylo. You already know the answer." She twisted her wrist just so, eliciting the sound she craved.

The groan from deep with his chest echoed off the walls of the closet. She heard a fuuuuuck slowly escape from deep within.

"You want my cock, Rey? "Looking up through her lashes at her huge man, her pussy felt a surge of pleasure from just hearing him speak in that way to her.

She bit her lip, moaning at the same time, needing the high she got from being with him.

"I take that as a yes," he murmured.

Kicking the boxers around his ankles off to the side, he moved with ease down to the floor. He picked Rey up like a rag doll and turned her away from him, setting her down on her hands and knees. Her long skirt billowed as he hurriedly tried to move it up her body. He wasn't gentle with the satin panties as he pulled them down her body roughly in his quest to find her wet center.

She felt the pull in her thigh muscles as he spread her legs apart with his knees. The expensive rug underneath her knees felt soft, but once he thrust into her she knew she'd have carpet burns.

"I'm going to have to call Rose in a minute," she moaned as she rolled her hips, meeting his thrusts. She felt his grip tighten around her hips as he filled her completely, feeling her pussy stretch around his thickness.

"Why's that," Kylo grunted, slapping her skin with his.

"We are going to be so late."

~o~

"Where have you been? I was beginning to think you weren't showing up," Rose grabbed Rey's hand and pulled her inside the door. Rey didn't even have to knock; her best friend must have been watching for her from the front window.

"I'm so sorry," Rey apologized. She'd even forgot to call. Kylo pretty much fucked her brains out and left her with no cognitive ability at the moment.

Finn and Rose lived in an upper-class neighborhood outside of Hanna City on a typical suburban street lined with trees sprouting tiny buds ready to burst with the colors of spring. It was a much sought after area to live, and parking was scarce. Built over fifty years ago, the infrastructure of the road didn't have room for all the cars the modern family found necessary.

Rose and Finn were hipsters in every sense of the word and had gutted and remodeled their home all on their own. Finn was his own boss of his contracting company, but his first love was woodworking. He personally made sure their home was quality with every painstaking detail he made. It was a hidden gem a few years ago, an almost dilapidated outdated house, but now it was the nicest one on their street and this barbeque was to celebrate its official completion.

Rey stopped when she entered the foyer, setting her purse and light jacket down on the beautiful new wooden bench by the door. She ran her fingers across some of the detailed engravings Finn made on the back of the furniture. It looked old-world, like it came out of an Italian country chapel, but it was brand new straight out of Finn's workshop. She remembered him talking about how long it was taking him to finish such intricate work, but the finished project was well worth the effort in her opinion.

Rose walked swiftly across the front living area and turned when she noticed Rey not following her to the kitchen.

"You coming? Everyone is out back." Her voice sounded a bit impatient, and why wouldn't it? Not only was Rey was late, but she was loitering in the foyer.

"I'm waiting on Kylo. He went to go park the car." Rey studied her friend realizing a look of terror had crossed Rose's face. Rey cleared her suddenly tight throat. "I thought I told you I was bringing him."

"No, no you did. I just totally forgot." Rose's covered her face with one of her hands. "I've been so busy at the shop and working on the house that it totally slipped my mind." Rose looked too nervous for Rey to let it go.

"It's still okay for me to bring him, isn't it? I wanted you two to meet him."

"Yea. It is." Rose hesitated, "it's just, um, Finn invited someone, too."

"Well, that shouldn't be a big deal. The more the merrier, right?" Rey smiled. Rose did not.

"Rey," Rose said her name quietly. As she did, Rose's eyes peered beyond where her friend stood, looking at the door. Rey glanced over her shoulder and saw Kylo peeking through the glass. Before she touched the doorknob to let him in, Rose finished what she wanted her friend to know in a hushed tone, "Finn invited Poe."

~0~

It was too late to freak out. She'd already opened the door and let him in. Rey had made the awkward introduction between her lover and best friend, whom she was going to kill after it was all said and done.

Wanting to pull Rose away into a private place for a mini interrogation, she decided against it, even though she itched to ask her how it was possible for Finn to invite Poe without even letting Rey know. It would have been awkward enough if Rey had shown up alone. Now she was there with her new man and didn't have a clue how to handle the hot mess it could turn into. Poe was a nice guy, but she didn't know how being face-to-face with his ex-girlfriend's current lover would affect him.

"Rose, you go ahead of us. I need to talk to Kylo for a moment."

Rose gave a knowing nod and left the two alone.

"Um," Rey fiddled with the material of her skirt finding it hard to meet his eyes. Rose just informed me that Poe is here. Apparently, Finn invited him. I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"That's the guy you fucked before me, right?" he asked, looking down at her.

She winced, "do you have to say it like that?"

His nostrils flared, "It's the truth, isn't it?"

Thinking about it Rey nodded. She inched closer to him running a hand down his arm, "but he's not you."

"You don't have feelings for him anymore, do you?" His body became flush with hers and she shivered when his crooked forefinger traced the outline of her jaw.

Rey nearly snorted when her brain was able to process his words over the influx of pheromones. "God, no!"

"And I'm the only one you want, correct?" She felt his breath on her skin.

"Yes, baby," she whispered. The word baby slipped out before she could take it back, "Just you." The palm of her hand rested on his heaving chest.

"Then we have nothing to worry about. Bring on the barbeque, beer, and ex-boyfriend," he said, taking off his black sports coat and setting it down by her things.

Rey couldn't get over how good he looked in just a maroon V-neck, jeans, and his never-worn Timberlands. She felt like an odd adornment for such a gorgeous man. She tugged at her simple green blouse.

He took the offending hand and kissed it. "You look beautiful. Quit worrying," he told her quietly as they made their way to the backyard.

"I'm not worrying, "she lied.

Rey felt a tingle when Kylo's hand came to rest on her lower back, his thumb rubbing soothing circles were nobody else could see.

"I watch your every move, Rey Vassoura," her ovaries did a flip when she heard her name roll off his tongue, "and I know when you're nervous. You have nothing to worry about. I'll be beside you the whole time."

The promise was enough for her to center herself. She was at a barbecue for heaven sakes, it wasn't like she was asking too much for all parties involved to be civil to one another at a mutual friend's home. She didn't know why she was acting as if there would be a bare knuckle brawl over the potato salad.

Taking a deep breath she straightened her shoulders as they walk out onto the deck surveying the dozen or so guest gathered on the lawn.

She noticed Poe immediately. His side-eye glaring at her from across the way were he stood, beer in hand, in a cluster of people. She knew he was still angry about her leaving—the day forever lodged in her brain. Funny, she remembered no emotion in his eyes then when he saw her with one suitcase filled with all she owned. Nothing in the house was hers. Her whole life was always reduced to one bag.

At least this time it was a real suitcase and not a black garbage bag.

She cried when she told him why she had to leave, and he said nothing. Poe let her walk out the door and into the waiting Uber. She'd never forgive him for not fighting for her. She might have stayed.

Shaking off that depressing thought she turned as if she hadn't saw him as they made their way to Finn who was assisting in manning the grill as Rose's sister Page flipped the meat. He smiled his signature smile and embraced her so tightly she lost a breath.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear, patting her on the back before letting her go.

Rey didn't say anything back to him. She was angry that Finn thought inviting Poe was okay. He didn't know Kylo was coming, so what were Finn's motives? Whatever they were, it was unacceptable. Now that Kylo was here with the scorned ex, it was the ultimate clusterfuck.

For a while the conversation was light and everyone managed to get along. Page called that the food was done and everyone converged on the long table Rose had set out, the group laughing at the stories that were shared. Kylo stayed pretty quiet throughout. He listened and answered questions when engaged, and laughed on cue, but for the most part her just observed. And stayed right by Rey's side.

After everyone had more than a few beers in them and had eaten their fill, people slowly began to trickle out, designated drivers seeing that their charges got home safely. Finally it was just Rey relaxed next to Kylo in a circle of empty lawn chairs as Rose saw her sister out to her car. Calmed by the crickets chirping and the spring breeze light on her skin Rey held his hand, brushing her thumb lightly over his knuckles as they stole glances at each other. She loved that even when his face showed no emotion, eyes would smile at her

That was when Poe decided it was the best idea to pull up an empty chair and stake it right on Rey's other side. Immediately she tensed, subconsciously angling herself so that she partly faced the man she had once though she would marry. Kylo slung a comforting arm around her shoulder and she relaxed into him as he played with the ends of her hair.

"That your Charger out in the driveway?" Kylo asked, breaking the heavy silence.

"How'd you know?" Poe demanded.

"I haven't heard it fire up yet. It's a '68, right?"

"Yea," Poe sat forward to look around Rey. "You know cars then?"

"I dabble," Kylo shrugged taking another swig of his beer. "You restore it yourself?"

"Every bit." Rey watched as his chest puffed out. "It was a hunk of junk when I found it."

"Impressive." Kylo tipped his beer bottle in Poe's direction in a mock salute.

"Thanks." Poe's tone was as close to what one could call a sneer and still get away with it.. "You ever restore anything?"

"No," Kylo's smile was wolfish, "like to buy them, though."

"Such a shame you don't do it yourself. Building a car from scratch is a thing of beauty."

About to jump into the fray herself at his snide tone Kylo quieted her with a kiss on the side of her head. "I bet it is," he answered Poe's comment cordially.

"I thought I saw you drop off Rey in an Audi sedan tonight. Pretty sensible car for a hot shot like yourself." The smug look Poe gave made Rey roll her eyes.

"I like to take it when I need to get good gas mileage. The Maserati is the one I take to work," Kylo kept on blandly; Rey knew exactly what he was doing and nearly let a smug smile of her own out. "The Porsche is good for taking Rey out. I took my Land Rover to the mountains last weekend."

The pissing match had begun. Poe should have stopped while he was ahead. She knew the garage full of cars was Kylo's pride and joy. He had at least seven cars in there, rotating at his will. None of them were cheap either.

"What? You left the Lamborghini at home?" Poe snipped, tipping more alcohol in his mouth..

"Yes," Kylo said flatly causing Poe to spit out his beer.

"What's your line of work, Poe, since you seem to know mine already?" Kylo asked casually, offering the man a olive branch after he had clearly won the first round. Rey caught his hand again and gave him a thankful squeeze.

After a second's hesitation, weighing his options, Poe answered. "I'm a pilot."

"Commercial? Military?" Kylo asked as if he were truly interested, as if they were just two men talking about hobbies and work.

"Commercial, for American Airlines. I'm gone a lot, but I love seeing the world."

Rey suddenly remembered one of the main reasons she had left; she didn't like being alone. Even though he was her live-in boyfriend, he was always off somewhere A fear of abandonment didn't mix well with a partner who was never around.

She wanted stability and Poe couldn't give that to her, even though he said he would. He always told her he wanted a simple life, but he was never home to make it happen. She also had aspirations of having a job where she was paid an ungodly amount of money. Living hand-to-mouth most of her life, she didn't want to barely get by ever again, and she wasn't going to find it in Yavin.

Rey blinked, coming back into the conversation to Poe saying, "I also help Finn when I can. I like doing some contractor work when I'm grounded for a few days."

"Well, you have your hands full then don't you?"

"I like to keep busy." Poe rested his elbows on his knees; his eyes zoned in suddenly on Kylo's feet. "That's a nice pair of boots there, my friend. I don't know the last time my work boots looked that nice. Do you even work in those?"

And just like a switch he went back to being a dick.

"Come on, Poe," Rey whispered under her breath. Her quiet plea fell on deaf ears.

"What are you trying to say, Pilot?" Kylo calmly crossed his legs, never taking his fiery eyes off Poe.

"I'm saying that there's something freeing working with your hands. Making something out of nothing. Getting dirty. In your line of work, you must sit in a stuffy office all day, staring at a computer."

"Oh, I work a lot with my hands, just not for work." He cast a knowing glance over Rey whose skin was turning a dark shade of pink at the innuendo. If Poe was going to talk shit about Kylo's job, apparently he'd hit Poe where it hurt—by talking about Rey. "And don't tell me I don't know how to make something out of nothing, Pilot. Our little company profited several billion dollars last year under my leadership. "

Rey sat stunned, knowing Kylo could be tough. She'd never seen him like this.

"And there's been move then a few times I've had to roll up my sleeves and put these suckers to good use while I was at the office," he spoke, laying a claiming hand on Rey's thigh. "It just not always be business related. Isn't that right, Rey?"

Poe looked like he had been slapped on the face with the insinuation of Kylo's words.

"Kylo, please," she whispered through gritted teeth, wanting to slither under the table and hide. She didn't need him rubbing Poe's face in the fact that they were hornier then two rabbits in spring and the venue hardly mattered when they wanted to fuck.

Poe sat there breathing hard, Kylo had a Cheshire grin when Rose broke the tension by stepping back though the patio door.

"I have cake," she sang laying a slice of her infamous chocolate cake in front of each of them with Finn's help.

"I'm so full already," Rey protested relieved by the brake in the tension.

"Oh, hush," Rose scolded jokingly, sitting with her own plate. "Everyone knows desert is a different stomach. And since I'm sharing I get a second slice."

"I don't think that's how it works but okay," Rey laughed, pulling her plate closer forking up a luscious bite and offering it up to Kylo. He accepted never breaking eye contact a he licked the fork clean and she felt her center go molten.

"So Rey, tell me how the two of you got together," Poe asked his own cake ignored.

Rey shifted, feeling uncomfortable answering her ex while her panties were damp with only a look from her current lover. "We met at work. I thought you knew that already."

"No, I know you two worked together, which has to be against a dozen HR rules, but that's another can of worms. There must have been a point where the two of you decided to see one another, am I right?"

"Um, I don't know why it matters and why you want to know." Her instincts said run but her mind wanted to meet Poe head on.

"Because I just do. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with you, and I guess I want to know why the girl that left me is with this...this...man."

Rey's blood began to boil. "If you must know, it all began at a restaurant one night. We just happened to be there at the same time and ended up having a conversation. One thing led to another and here we are. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Liar," Poe spat, voice oozing with anger.

"Dude, back off," Kylo warned.

"How do two people find each other at the masquerade gala and fuck each other, not knowing who the other is? I didn't realize I dated a slut who'd fuck just any guy at a party." Rose gasped at Poe's vindictive revelation. "What in the world were you thinking, Rey?"

"Poe! Seriously, man! You said you wouldn't say anything!" Finn exclaimed. SO everyone at the table seemed to know about the chance encounter the she and Kylo shared that night.

"Finn, you told Poe?" Rose said in disbelief as she twisted to face her husband. Finn said nothing, frozen, not knowing how to deal with his wife's righteous anger. "I can't believe you."

"You and I aren't together anymore, and...and...you have no a say in my life. If I want to fuck the entire bench of the Hanna City Spartans" anger coated the words as she held back tears, "that's my decision, not yours. I-" her voice broke, "I can't do this."

She stood and fled.

She didn't stay in the house simply grabbed her purse as she ran out. She couldn't bear to hear Poe talk about her in that way, not someone who she had once given her heart to. She couldn't believe she ever thought him to be a nice guy.

She didn't even know where Kylo had parked the car, she just began running down the sidewalk toward the setting sun.

How was it that once things in her life were going well, it only took one person to make it all go to hell. Her whole life she'd dealt with people who entered and did nothing but let her down. With Poe, she left him before she discovered the real person he was underneath his handsome face. All people revealed their ugly selves at some point or another. The trick was to leave before they could.

"Rey! Rey, wait!" She heard Kylo call out from behind her.

Yet the one person in her life right now she wanted to trust ran down the sidewalk after her. She needed him to be the one she could depend on, who wouldn't call her awful names and bad mouth her when the opportunity arose. But more than anything, she needed him to stay. To be present.

So she did the hardest thing in her life and stopped running. Could she love someone like Kylo? Would he stay forever? She couldn't do this thing with him if he would leave her alone like everyone else in her life.

She must have had the deer-in-the-headlights look because his first reaction when he reached her was to grab her arms and force her to look at him. "Breathe. Just breathe."

She hadn't realized it, but she was on the verge of hyperventilating. She let her breath sync in time with his and soon the panic attack subsided, and she felt her body being wrapped in his warmth. His strong arms felt good around the part of her that still wanted to run. His touch centered her and let her know that nothing else in the world mattered but the two of them and if she did decide to run he would be right there beside her until she wanted to stop.

"I am so sorry..." Rey began but was cut off by his soft but firm voice.

"Don't apologize for him. Guys don't like to see the women they love be with anyone else. It causes us to do crazy shit but that had no bearing on you." He kissed the top of her head, her temple, her nose. "You actually make me see good in the world. After meeting you, things make sense. Don't let someone like him ruin your night."

She couldn't speak, dumbfounded by his words of affection. His embrace lingered and she didn't want him to let go. Ever.

"Since our evening has gotten off on the wrong foot, why don't we try to end it with something fun?"

She inhaled the spring air, smelling only him. She wanted to wrap her self up in his masculine scent that always had a hint of spice. "What do you have in mind?"

"You'll see." He waggled his eyebrows.

~o~

She always felt like she was high when she was with Kylo Ren. Getting a hit from a drug couldn't even touch what she felt around him. Suspended several stories above the ground, she sat in a swinging Ferris wheel car completely happy. She took in the colorful lights from the amusement park down below them and the starry sky above. The people look like ants and the noises had become muted from being so high above everything. It was just her and Kylo swinging in the breeze. She never wanted to forget this moment.

In all her years, Rey had never been on a Ferris wheel. In fact, she had never been to an amusement park. Going to places like that were only for kids with money, and growing up every extra cent went towards the basic necessities. Once she finally had accrued a little money in her savings account, she never thought she'd ever do something so frivolous as going to the amusement park. But Kylo, who knew she needed something exciting to get her mind off of the disastrous dinner, had decided to take her.

"This is the best thing I've ever tasted," Rey laughed, sticking out her tongue and letting the pink, cotton candy dissolve on it as a five-year-old would. She'd never had cotton candy either.

The Ferris wheel began to slowly circle, and Kylo put his arm around her like they were a teenage couple on a first date. She snuggled down into the crook of his body, feeling light and happy and secure for the first time in her life.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Please don't forget that." She could feel him breathing her in as he whispered in her hair.

And just like that she felt herself letting go and falling in love with one Kylo Ren. **  
**

~o~

Notes:

What could go wrong with our lovely couple? It should be all rainbows and unicorns next, right? We shall see...

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'd love to hear your comments. Really! I love them.

I'm on Twitter and Tumblr at 3todream3. Come say hi! I follow back :)


	12. Make it up as I Go

"Woke up this morning holding my head.

Thinking last night is one of regret.

Washing off the bad decisions, the blurry vision,

The clues that I'm still a mess.

Spitting out the taste I have in my mouth.

Knowing what this all is really about.

Knowing there's an explanation, an expiration.

I gotta figure shit out.

And they're asking me if I can see the darkness down below.

And I know it's true, I say I do, and half the time I don't.

Maybe I can't make what it may take to leave this thing behind.

But I shut my eyes and cross each line and every time."

~ _Make It Up As I Go_ by K. Flay and Mike Shinoda

~o~

Straight out of graduate school, Kylo started at the ground level at Skywalker Enterprises. He was a new employee who sat in a cramped cubicle slowly being driven mad by having to congregate with those of average intelligence all around him. Listening to the stuttering DJ in the next cubicle over motivated him to climb the ladder as quickly as possible. He made VP in six years, trading the cubicle commune for a large office with four walls and a door.

Over the last five years of being a VP, his office had become a second home. And just like his first home, it was a showpiece filled with the best of the best; expensive furniture, one-of-a-kind art, high-dollar rugs. If it was around him it had to have the highest price tag and the most style. His clients would expect nothing less.

"Where are the third quarter earnings from '17? It was just here," Kylo grumbled to himself frustrated. Clicking the mouse excessively, searching through the seemingly hundreds of open tabs on his computer. His dark hair standing on end from the multitude of times his fingers combed through it.

His eyes were burning from staring too long at the financial spreadsheets. Keenly aware that night had fallen, he hadn't bothered to turn on the lights. The only glow came from the three monitors that sprawled across his large desk emitting the hard blue light that doctors warned of. Slipping off his glasses, Kylo rubbed the weariness at his temples wishing he could just go home.

Work had transformed into a different kind of beast lately. What once was a passion that plagued his mind and drove him to be the very best, it was now something he didn't take as seriously. The metamorphosis was becoming evident in his productivity. He had a hard time focusing because all of his available brain cells concentrated on one Rey Vassoura.

Kylo thought back through his life and knew this whole experience was new to him. In his 34 years, no woman had infiltrated his body and soul as she did. He deliberated often on how he could make her happy and gain her trust. In his never-ending thoughts of her, he also couldn't help but become fiercely protective of her. Lately, his mind drifted back to the incident at the barbecue last week, and it made him angry every time.

Kylo fought tooth and nail against every machismo cell in his body that night, envisioning himself punching Poe's lights out. Thinking about the final cruel word the ex-asshole had said that sent her running into the night had made his vision go red. But instead of following the base instinct that demanded he go in for the kill, he had followed his heart in chasing after the woman who had fled and who needed him.

He'd always remember the night her walls came crashing down while they sat several stories high in that brightly lit Ferris wheel car. She opened her heart to him and had promptly started crying into her cotton candy.

Rey spoke of being abandoned at five-years-old. Living in a few group homes, being abused mentally and physically by several foster care families who were supposed to look out for her. Fighting mean girls at school. Living on the streets at sixteen. Making it to America and getting a hardship scholarship to go to college.

Every trauma she opened up about, he held her closer, giving her the comfort of his presence and his silence. It wasn't about pity. Yes, she had a spirit that was easily bruised but by no means was she weak. In fact, Rey was the greatest fighter he knew.

The child of nothing had scratched and clawed her way into being a VP in his company. Forging a way not just for herself in the male-dominated business world but for any other woman that chose to follow her. And she did it all on her own. He admired her greatly, this woman he loved.

"Knock, knock."

He heard her voice before he saw her and suddenly the numbers floating around his head ceased to bother him any longer. His thoughts shifting to just her. Who cares about deadlines? he thought to himself as he looked up into her smile.

"Hey," he replied in a gravelly voice, realizing he hadn't uttered a word in hours, as he sat back in his chair. "What time is it?".

"A little after eight," she answered, her words and steps barely making any noise as she made her way across the large room while the door clicked shut behind her.

He took notice of the bright yellow heels she wore with a navy, blue dress that tied just above her right hip. The material draped around her breasts perfectly; the neckline plunged down to tease him with the soft flesh of her cleavage. He couldn't take his eyes from her as she sashayed over to stand behind him.

"I didn't know you wore glasses," she commented as she began raking her fingers through his already tousled hair, making the top of his head sing with pleasure.

"Only when I'm staring at a computer. The screen makes my eyes do crazy things." The ends of her fingers began working some kind of circular pattern above his ears. "Please don't stop doing that," he moaned as he felt the stress leaving his body.

"If you keep on working hard, " she teased, "they might even think you'd be a good CEO."

After the night where he took her on the piano, he told her everything. His conversation with his Uncle Luke, the complicated plans of him possibly becoming CEO, and the strained relationship with his mother that could jeopardize that.

The way she reacted took him back. Never before had anyone been on his side. With Rey truly being happy for him, Kylo's chest had puffed up with pride. No one else genuinely cared for his success. It had been a long time since he had someone to share his joys with and, for once, the shadow that hung over him had lifted. He felt like he finally found his place in the world in the shadow of her presence. His home was no longer the five million dollar house where he parked his expensive cars in the ridiculously large garage. Home resided in the unpredictable beauty who flew into his life and had electrified it ever since.

"And what are you doing up here so late?" he asked as he swiveled the chair around to meet her, and she wordlessly maneuvered herself between his knees. Not even aware of his hands anymore when she came near, they mindlessly traveled up and down the curve of her hips to the firmness of the flawless ass he dreamed about nightly. Thinking of how she looked when he took her from behind could always get him going.

To be honest, everything about Rey could make him hard. Her elegant fingers pushing the elevator button, the edge of her teeth as she bit into an apple, her smiling at him. Hell, even her reading his company's annual marketing report made him want to pin her to the wall and have his way with her.

 _His company._

Despite the need for caution, he thought constantly of it already being under his command. It was a dangerous thought.

The upcoming meeting with Luke and his mother that would decide the fate of Skywalker Enterprises was another ax hanging precariously above him. It was the culmination of what he'd worked his whole life to obtain, and he would do whatever he needed to see that he got the outcome he wanted.

The pending meeting had opened up a wound he thought had long since healed. Instead, it showed him that matter how hard he ignored and pushed it down, the childhood trauma of his father's death and mother's neglect bubbled just below the surface. Seeing his mother again wasn't at the top of his list of things to do, and he dreaded the thought of groveling to that woman.

"I'm working on the CMS." Her gentle words broke him out of his panic.

"The what?" he asked distracted, looking down to see both of his hands gently clasped around her narrow waist almost encircling it completely with his grip. The pad of his thumb brushed over one of her hip bones.

"The content management system," she sighed, the hands in his hair tugging softly.

"I love it when you speak nerdy to me," he said looking up at her with half lidded eyes and a killer grin that she returned.

"IT jargon" she let out a movie star quality fake moan, "so hot, I know."

"You can talk about anything, and I'd listen," he said as he traced his nose along her rib cage. "There's something about your voice."

"Really?" she questioned in a small voice after a beat of silence.

It still caught him off guard how truly unsure she was of herself. He knew his childhood suffering didn't hold a candle to the abuse and neglect she experienced growing up. Despite all she had overcome, she still hadn't figured out that she was the reason the sun set and rose every day in his world.

"Yes, really." He was humbled that she dropped her 'everything under control' pretenses around him but vowed to show her how true her strength was. "Now, give me more of that technical jargon in that sexy accent of yours."

"You really want to hear me talk about that stuff?" His hand covered one of her breasts gently cupping it as she let out a real moan, breathy and sweet. He had become a student of her body, researching its softness and where she liked him to touch her and how. He made it his homework to know how every part of her flesh felt under his hand and how sweet she tasted on his tongue.

"I absolutely do."

"Okay," she breathed, eyes fluttering as she tried to think of the next word. "Digital content." His second hand found her other breast, joining in the fun.

"More, Rey," he spurred her on by biting at a nipple through the thin fabric of her dress. He held it gently between his teeth, emitting a bit of a growl as he did. Pulling away, he noticed the remnants of his saliva on her dress. His mouth watered, wanting to suck her nipples raw.

"Integrating document management." He could hear her once steady breathing increase to short little bursts. He watched as she pressed her thighs together.

"And…" he purred, wanting to hear her sexy voice more. His lips pressed eagerly into the sensitive area right above her navel, straightening her spine. Learning how her body reacted from his every touch became a full-time job. Once he thought he had found all her secret places, another would surface.

Focused on his next mission, a hand found its way underneath the back of her dress to where her wet center hid in the beautiful recesses of where the bottom of her ass met the tops of her hamstrings. His middle and forefinger slid down her ass to the wetness hidden beneath. Her back arched when the fingers glided back and forth between her soft folds.

"Fuck," she gasped. Touching her there always elicited a quick reaction from her, and he loved it when she cursed in her cockney accent, another huge turn on for him.

"Kylo, you're killing me," she whimpered, biting her lip as he continued to play with her ever so softly. He knew he was driving her crazy-that was the point. "I'm already so wet for you," she mewed, even though he had first-hand knowledge of how wet he made her. Her juices had already soaked his finger.

"I need more, Rey," he commanded in his low timbre. "I want you dripping for me." His lips found another tender spot under the swell of her breast, keeping a slow and torturous pace with his long fingers gliding along her pussy and finally reaching her sensitive clit. "What's the next word?"

"God, ung!" She threw her head back. "Records retention functionalities."

His cock twitched watching her body try and contain itself. He knew she wouldn't hold it together for much longer and would be screaming his name soon enough.

"Are you finished teasing me now?" Rey asked, tilting her head down to him. The yearning in her eyes let him know it was time to stop playing games. "Please," she begged, "take me."

"As you wish," he whispered, removing his fingers.

Rey watched as his large, uncoordinated fingers attempted to untie the knot on the side of her dress and smiled as she patiently waited.

"Do you think we're the only ones here?" she asked as he found victory in untying the knot and quickly unwrapped the material that clung so snugly to her perfect body.

"No one's here. They've all gone home." His eyes found hers. "Underachievers." He smirked at his stupid joke.

"I'm wondering how quiet I need to be."

"Be as loud as you want, love," Kylo spoke, his voice dripping with lust.

Her dress finally fell in a puddle of dark blue around her heels. Her pert nipples peeking through the sheerness of her black bra and the matching panties did little to keep the monster inside his pants calm. So lost in his thoughts of ripping the lingerie off her body in one motion, he hardly noticed she had already unbuttoned most of his shirt. Her breasts crushed together in front of his face as she leaned down to finish.

He wanted to come on those sweet tits. Wanted to pound into her. Wanted to make her pussy swollen from his thrusts. Just the thought of fucking her almost sent him over the edge, and he got rid of every stitch of his clothing in no time flat.

Kylo easily lifted her up against his hard body. Though she didn't think it of herself, Kylo knew she was the strongest person he had ever met. And it fed his ego that such a fierce little warrior trusted him to be the one to carry her.

He almost fell to his knees as she wrapped her long legs around his body and let her center find his throbbing cock. This moment of embrace made him more aware of how she had captured him in a way he hadn't believed possible.

The sturdy couch took the impact of their fall, her body on top of his. Barley used, the gray sectional sofa had been in his office for years. He'd only taken a handful of naps when the work stretched too late into the night to warrant going home. He thought about getting rid of it at one point because he never wanted to sleep, but now he was glad he decided to keep it.

With hands resting on the back of the sofa, she straddled him and sat up tall on her knees. Her tits rested mere centimeters away from his face, teasing his mouth and making his hands twitch.

Impatience overtook him, and he found himself ripping her delicate bra down her body to get to her hard nipples. She gasped surprised at his impetuousness but soon cried out in pleasure when he finally had what he sought in his mouth. He felt her hands cling to his long hair, pulling it every time his teeth nipped roughly at her sensitive skin.

"I want you to remember I was here," he panted, moving to the other breast, sucking her so hard making sure there would be hickeys where his mouth had been.

The orbit of her hips swiveled just above his tip, making his cock painfully aware that it needed to be balls deep inside her. He could feel her juices already coating him.

"Kiss me, Kylo," she begged. Her pink lips found him, and he willingly surrendered his mouth to hers. He loved how she tasted him fervently, using her whole body to deepen the kisses she proffered him.

"Hmmm," he groaned at the bite of pain when she nipped his lower lip, drawing blood in the process.

"I want you to remember I was here, too," Rey cooed as she licked the small wound.

In the thrill of the moment, her devious smile paired with licking his wound distracted him, and he let out a loud cry when she suddenly took his cock to the hilt. His eyes flew open at the immediate surge of pleasure.

He hadn't taken off her panties, or ripped them from her body, which had been his plan. She'd begun working him, grinding her pussy on him in desperation.

"Crotchless panties?" he gasped. She had beaten him at his own game. He never understood how civilizations could rise and fall at the hands of beautiful women, never understood how men could be so stupid, until now. Because of Rey, he knew he would divulge any secret he had just to keep her close. It wasn't just the lovemaking, it was her whole being that drew him to her. "My girlfriend thinks of everything."

The words fell thoughtless as a prayer as he let the sensation of her taking him ripple through his body; her tight pussy turning his brain to mush.

Until Rey's dance on his cock came to a sudden stop.

"Your what?" she asked surprised. She rested on his legs, his cock staying safe and warm inside her.

"What?" Kylo had no idea what his name was much less what words he spoke while she was riding him.

"You said the word 'girlfriend'." Her voice summoned a prosecutor's tone who was cross-examining a frightened witness.

Shit , he cried internally. Things between the two of them had gone so well lately that he'd forgotten about their no-feelings, sex-only agreement He'd blown his cover by speaking his deepest wish aloud. He could take the insanity plea on account of her fucking his brains out, but he didn't think it would hold up in Rey's courtroom.

"I'm so sorry." He took a deep breath and stilled his body, focusing on talking and not fucking. Kylo knew going into this arrangement that she was only using him for his body, and now with one hasty word, he had turned it into something more. "That word just slipped out."

"Is that what you want me to be?" Rey whispered, poised above him and unnaturally still. He didn't know how to read her and couldn't figure out where this line of questioning was headed. He knew he had to tread lightly. He didn't want to make her run away; she already did that too much. "I thought we were just having fun."

"I know we decided we're not ready for that. Just forget I said it, okay?" His hand came up to cradle her cheek. "We can just be friends with benefits. I'm sorry for even saying it." He did his best to play it off and hoped she bought it. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"No, don't...don't apologize," she stuttered, eyes flittering away. He held his breath, feeling her hands nervously trace little trails all over his chest. Kylo made sure his emotions were in check because he'd crossed the lines of the relationship they agreed upon back at the retreat. He would wait patiently for her to figure out how they would continue. He owed her that for being such a bonehead.

"Did you-" her tongue peeked out, wetting her lips, "did you mean it? The 'girlfriend' part? Or was it just pillow talk?"

One of the things he'd promised himself he would never do was lie to her. "Yes, I meant it."

"Okay."

"You're not mad?" He was pretty sure she could hear his heart pounding out of his chest.

"No."

"And, you liked me calling you my girlfriend." He kept asking because he had to be sure.

"Yes," she answered, embarrassment and annoyance coloring her tone. "It sounded nice coming off your lips. I didn't know how much I would like it until I heard you say it."

"So, are you my girlfriend then?" He'd been waiting since the day he met her to call Rey Vassoura his.

"Yes, I'd like that," she answered with a smile that covered her face. He loved her innocent, toothy grin.

He kissed her gently never forgetting that he had been held inside her when she became officially his girlfriend.

The kiss soon intensified, and Rey's body began working him again. Energized, his hips began thrusting, meeting her movements in earnest.

Kylo knew how hard it was for her to agree to take their relationship to the next level, and he couldn't remember anyone in his life who he would have called his girlfriend. He had countless flings with women who stayed for a hot minute, but he never claimed anyone until tonight.

Feeling the free fall, Kylo used his strength to pull her up and down on him hard. He'd never wanted to come in her so much at this moment; his hips stilled after one last thrust. His muscles ached from giving everything to her. The feeling of euphoria encapsulated his body.

Now that he had finished, his goal was to make come.

"Oh, oh!" she screamed as she kept riding him. "Yes, baby." Her nails dug into his neck as if she were holding on for dear life.

She had said baby to him last week when they were at Rose's house, and he played it off as if he didn't care. He knew it was a big deal for her to refer to him in such a tender way. She didn't give away her affection easily.

"Oh, Kylo, yes," she squeaked as one of her hands snaked down her body and began rubbing her clit.

"Take my cock, Rey. Harder." He watched her bare pussy take him in over and over again, hearing her cries get louder and louder. "Rub your little clit for me. I want you to come now, Rey. Come for me," he demanded.

Her body seized with one last whimper. Her pussy clenched around him, sucking him dry as he let himself go deep inside her.

She was spent; her limp body fell into him. Her supple breasts pressed into his chest as she lay her head on his shoulder. Time became irrelevant, immersed in each other's warmth. Their passionate love making had turned into tender kisses and soft touches. Their languid bodies lingered not wanting to leave this cocoon.

Something in him stirred as he watched her dress after they came out of their lovemaking fog. The stress of the day jettisoned off his shoulders when she came around. She had him spellbound. How she could take away the nightmares and the stress by just being there, he didn't know.

Opening the door to his office, he took her in his arms, pulling her to his chest, sharing one last private kiss with her before they headed out the door.

"Want to meet at my house?" she asked, straightening a wrinkle on his shirt and rubbing the pad of her thumb across the fabric. "I'll have Indian food ordered for a late dinner, and we can watch Netflix."

"That would be nice." He kissed her again, unable to help himself. "Let me go home and change, and I'll see you there."

~o~

He emerged from the shower, getting excited over seeing Rey at her house. He dreamed of a time when he wouldn't have to leave his place to go visit her; they'd live somewhere together where he could have her to himself all the time. He dressed casually for her-something she'd taught him.

He'd just buttoned his jeans and put on a comfy V-neck T-shirt when his phone chimed.

It was from Luke.

 _We need to meet me ASAP._

 _I'm kind of busy right now. Can this wait till tomorrow?_

 _No._

~o~

Kylo hated telling Rey he couldn't see her until later, but she seemed to understand. He promised to come to her after his meeting which he didn't anticipate taking long; it was ten o'clock at night after all.

She knew that getting to be a CEO would be a difficult process. There would be things asked of him that would make him have to drop what he was doing. He'd have to sacrifice things now in order to get control of the company he dreamed of having for years. The meeting with his mother would be next week, and he had to make sure that he was crossing all his t's and dotting his i's. He didn't think anything about getting together with Luke tonight. He thought it'd be a pretty standard meeting.

He was wrong.

In a million years, he'd never be able to predict the shitstorm he was about to walk into at this late hour.

Luke didn't speak to him as Kylo entered the empty restaurant. His dark eyes zoned in on the open laptop on a corner booth table.

His uncle just pressed play as Kylo slumped into the booth.

Kylo's brain couldn't process the video he watched. Who would do such a thing? He felt the anger festering inside him, and this time he wasn't sure how he could control it.

Kylo accepted that he wasn't the nicest of guys; it was difficult for him to connect with people, but he had learned how to get along with them just enough to get by. He'd been through some dark times and had been jaded since he had to grow up at such an early age. He knew he had a dark side, but he didn't know how far that side of him would go once he channeled it.

He stared at the screen in the back room of a low-lit Italian restaurant, trying to subdue the sheer anger that was screaming on the inside.

"This was sent to me tonight," Luke explained. The gas lanterns flickered in his uncle's angry eyes.

"By whom?" Kylo asked in a tone that didn't even sound like him. His hands balled into fists under the table.

Someone had taken it upon themselves to video outside of Kylo's office while he and Rey made love tonight. At first, it was just a picture zoomed in of the door, but the sound from the video painted a vivid picture of what happened behind that closed door

.

It captured Rey's voice calling out during sex. Kylo cringed when he heard his name scream from her lips on the playback. His private moment with her had been stolen by someone dead-set on ruining his life.

The creeper hid well as they filmed the kiss he and Rey shared in the doorway before the two of them parted ways.

He felt betrayed by whoever filmed them tonight. What would the video do to her if she knew it existed?

"I don't know. It was sent anonymously by someone who must have access to the building and the 10th floor," Luke shut the screen of his computer, sighing at the complicated mess in front of him. "Someone knew to stalk the two of you."

"I didn't think anyone was still at the office," Kylo defended.

"That's not the problem here. As much as I want you to be in love and be happy, the big issue is that you are having an inappropriate relationship with a fellow employee who will be your subordinate if you become CEO. "

"What are you talking about?" The words coming out of Luke's mouth made no sense but rang true all at the same time. Confusion took over Kylo and he didn't want to accept where this conversation headed.

"Don't make me remind you about all the HR bullshit that I can throw at you, but this power dynamic cannot happen, Kylo. It's a lawsuit waiting to happen. I cannot have you risk everything for a girl."

"She'd never harm the company. She'd never harm me," he spoke earnestly. He knew the truth about Rey.

"You say that now, but what happens when the two of you don't get along so well in a few months from now? That situation leaves everybody in the lurch. And you've just lost it all get some pussy."

"She's not just some pussy I'm getting." She's everything . "Don't you ever talk about her like that again."

"I'm sorry you actually seem to have feelings for this girl, but I am not in this business to make a love connection This can't be going on if you want to run the company. If this video gets to your mother, then you're definitely out of the running, and our worst fears have come true. Hux will hold the reigns."

"This is blackmail, and you know it. I guarantee you it was Hux who did this. He's the only one with skin in the game to sink this low."

"I don't know who it was, and I don't care. You just need to end it with the girl, so we can finish this plan."

He was already shaking his head, "I can't do that."

"You can and you will," Luke spat. "This is not just about you anymore. There are a lot of people invested in this decision. It will ruin us."

Luke took a big swig of his scotch that sat untouched on the table for most of their conversation. He wiped his mouth and looked Kylo square in the eye and spoke in the gravelly voice of an aging man. "If she's not going to settle for being your wife then she needs to go. It's a simple as that."

"I won't do it. It will destroy her if I do." He'd just gotten her to be his girlfriend; wife was lightyears away.

"Then you're out. Hux will be CEO, and it will be because you didn't have the backbone to make the hard decisions."

Kylo wanted to throw something, anything. His wild eyes scanned the restaurant where they met, searching for an object to clutch in his hand and make into a fastball through the plate-glass window. Instead, he fled Luke's company, deciding that driving fast would be the next best thing to get out his aggression.

The Lamborghini made it out of the city to the top of the hills on the lookout in no time flat. He couldn't get his breathing under control as he sat at the wheel at one of the highest points of Hanna City and studied the twinkling lights below.

Somewhere her light was on, waiting for him. And here he was, thirty miles away in the middle of the night, avoiding her. He'd gotten into this situation and hated the world for it. It was just like karma to kick him in the ass every time something good happened to him.

He didn't know how long he sat staring at the city below when he heard his phone chime.

It was Rey. His eyes closed to hold back any tear that dared to fall after reading her words.

 _You didn't come to me._

He turned the phone off, unable to face her in his weakest of moments. Kylo couldn't believe he sat here in the darkness without her body wedged close to his. He knew what he had to do, and it killed him. He couldn't imagine a scenario of being the most powerful man in the company without her by his side.

He rubbed his wrists together feeling the imaginary rope tying them together, knowing what he had to do.

Notes:

Things seem to be getting rough for our couple. Who would out them like that? How will this all go down? What will Kylo do? It's going to be a fun and bumpy ride.

As always, I appreciate any reviews. You can find me on twitter and tumblr at 3todream3.

I also have some real life things that are going to make updating a little longer, but know that I'm always working on the next chapter. Thanks for your support for an unknown Reylo author like me. I appreciate it more than you know!


	13. You're Somebody Else

You were the better part  
Of every bit of beating heart that I had  
Whatever I had  
I finally sat alone  
Pitch black flesh and bone  
Couldn't believe that you were gone

Well you look like yourself  
But you're somebody else  
Only it ain't on the surface  
Well you talk like yourself  
No, I hear someone else though  
Now you're making me nervous

~ _You're Somebody Else by_ Flora Cash

~o~

Rey stared at the cold, tikka masala left untouched on her coffee table. For the first hour she picked at the naan as she waited for Kylo, but as the time ticked on, the less hungry she became. Nervousness rose to take its place which had her gulp the red wine she had gotten for dinner instead of sipping it. Hoping the next glass would do the trick she poured herself more and more as she stared at the clock.

Her stomach churned with uneasiness, sensing something was off. She wanted to blame it on the wine, but she knew her old fears were creeping in. Chewie jumped up in her lap, purring as she petted him and took another swig of her wine to numb the pain.

She tried to tell herself that he got caught up with Luke and their late-night meeting, and he would call her any moment now. Every few minutes, she'd be disappointed after checking her phone to see no new notifications. And, every few minutes, she'd tell herself, _He's going to call any minute. Any minute now..._

He never did.

Closing in on one in the morning Rey finally broke down and texted him, ' _You didn't come to me.'_

After thirty minutes and another half bottle of wine an exhaustion she hadn't felt in years settled over her body. Numbly she sent out one final message, ' _Please let me know you're okay.'_ She stared at the food on the table and just couldn't bring herself to care. Turning, she made her for the stairs, wanting the comfort of her bed but paused at the bottom. Staring up the dozen and half steps, she didn't have the energy to make the effort to climb them. She shuffled back to the couch, her two cats standing sentinel on each arm.

 _I'll just close my eyes just for a second,_ she told herself as she laid down. Purposefully she laid her cell phone on the edge of the coffee table next to an open container of white rice.

He followed her into dreams; floating in front of her but always just a little out of reach no matter how much she reached for him. The image of his face faded away and darkness finally seeped in. She fell into a hard sleep, escaping the feeling of loneliness she feared the most.

The light tickled her eyelids, and she awoke to sirens blaring outside her door. She sat up startled, not sure what day it was, and realized her head throbbed from almost decimating a couple bottles of wine on her own.

Chewie and Whiskers had taken part in an Indian feast as Rey slept in her drunken state, and the two fat cats now slept happily together on the couch. The stench of the spicy food being left out all night hung thick in the air. Stomach rolling, Rey ran to her downstairs half bath in search of the toilet.

She spent the next couple of hours hanging out on the cold tile throwing up as a result of her self-medicating the night before, resolutely not thinking of the person she had allowed to get her to this state.

Not that it was doing any good. Hunkered against the wall knees pulled to her body, she felt an overwhelming sadness take over. The familiar position made her want to throw up all over again. The hangover was only a fraction of what made her feel ill; the absence of him made her heart ache.

Stumbling back to the couch, she curled under a throw blanket and gently rested her throbbing head on a pillow. Her fingers grabbed her phone from off the floor.

No messages. No calls. No nothing.

She let one tear escape down her cheek and cursed at herself for allowing him into a place she had refused everyone else entry to. Like a stupid fool she let herself fall for a pair of pretty eyes, strong arms, and a charming mouth. She thought he'd take care of her heart, had trusted that he would, so she handed it over to him in the middle of making love to him in his office.

Yesterday she was so sure of the idea of the two of them.

Now she second-guessed her decision.

Rey wanted to call Rose, wanted the comfort the woman always brought with her, but each time she picked up her phone she remembered that disastrous barbecue. She felt betrayed by those she held dear and didn't know how to handle it. Instead of calling on anyone that could let her down again, Rey thought it was time to get her big girl pants on and stand on her own two feet.

Once the fog of the hangover lifted, a bit, she was thankful and resentful that it was Saturday. Thankful she didn't have to call in sick to work. Resentful that it left her with too much time on her hands and no good way to run down Kylo.

So she sulked. Hunkered down with her phone in hand, eating a few gallons of the richest chocolate ice cream she could get her hands on and interlacing it with enough wine to make an alcoholic jealous, praying for a call or text. All weekend long nothing came.

When Monday morning rolled around, the sadness vanished. Drowned in cacao and tannin, the anger came up to the elevator at work, she felt a swagger in her step she'd barely recognized. Her self-preservation mode had kicked in. It'd served her well all her life through the toughest of times, and it resurfaced now with a vengeance.

 _Don't make me your girlfriend then avoid me all weekend, you fucker,_ she snarled internally as she slammed the number 10 on the elevator's panel.

Trying to keep some semblance of calm she made sure to breath in through her nostrils and out of her mouth. Her short nails tapped on the railing around the small stainless-steel box zipping her up to his office too slow for her current mood. She was itching for a fight. At least then he couldn't ignore her.

She envisioned herself slapping Kylo full across the face and then pulling him in by his italian silk tie and kissing his stunned lips. She wanted him to regret giving her the cold shoulder; she wanted him to hold her.

The ding of the doors stopping on floor three broke her from her deep thoughts. The doors slid open, and Armitage stepped in with no expression on his face. He had the personality of wallpaper, and Rey always found it hard to connect with him. It didn't help his case that he interrupted her peaceful thoughts of hurting Kylo.

"Good morning, Rey." His lips stretched into a menacing smile, looking unnatural. His voice sounded different than she'd remember, and his look had changed as well. He no longer seemed to be the awkward man who fell over himself trying to be close to her. He pressed the already lit indicator on the panel. "Going my way, I see."

"Hux," she nodded her greeting. She didn't want anyone to know her business, and hopefully, Hux would stay out of it.

Hux's eyes racked her body in an uncomfortable manner as he leered at her from his side of the elevator. She hadn't chosen anything remotely sexy to wear but the way he ogled her one would think she was wearing nothing but her La Perla lingerie.

Rey knew the power of clothes and image. Her tailored business suits were always tasteful in color and cut. Her high heels to give her small frame the right boost to work around all the male egos she dealt with on the daily. She dress to be impressive; dressing to impress the men at the office never entered on her radar. Not understanding the attraction men had to her, she became weary dealing with men thinking she was there for their viewing pleasure.

Trying not to fidget she pulled her double-breasted jacket closer together, protecting her body as much as she could. There was only one man she wanted to look at her that way, and he currently was MIA. She focused on the floor counter to keep her from looking at the man who suddenly made her uncomfortable.

"Kylo isn't in the office today." Hux offered the remark in an off handed way.

"And why would you feel the need to tell me that?" she asked, jaw clenched as she jerked her eyes away from the glowing number seven.

"Oh, I have my suspicions about the two of you."

Stunned, Rey stood silent. She didn't know how much he knew and wouldn't be the one to volunteer any personal information.

He took a step towards her, and Rey's instinct clambered for her to be careful as she retreated a step, bumping into the far wall. Her eyes darted to the elevator door praying they would open. He slowly lifted his hand as if to touch her but pulled it back before she could flinch.

"It would be a shame for him to lose a beautiful flower like you," he said in a caressing tone that made Rey feel sick.

Before panic could truly set in the elevator came to a swift stop on the tenth floor, and Hux squeezed through them before they fully opened. A few coworkers stepped out of his way smiling at Rey as the entered the car. When they asked is she was going down, she shook her head forced a smile of her own and got off on wobbly legs.

Once the doors closed behind her she clung to the nearest wall to get her bearings, breathing shaky. Once she found her legs, she set off to look for Kylo her encounter with Hux driving her now instead of her anger. The red-headed man had always been different, but he now seemed unhinged.

Jiggling the locked doorknob to his office, she cursed internally at her absent boyfriend as she swallowed against her rising panic.

"Where are you?" she hissed, leaning back onto his door; her shoulders slumped in defeat.

Feeling a pair of eyes on her, she looked up to see Hux in his office, giving her that weird smile. He had a pretty good view of Kylo's office, and if he was suspicious, he had the perfect view to see who came and went. No wonder he suspected something; he could see it all from his desk. Trying not to look scared or guilty she scurried back to the elevator.

Rey had wasted enough time on Kylo that she was late getting to her own desk. The always punctual Maz would be waiting on her for the morning meeting and would not let her slack off for something as ridiculous as a hurting heart.

"You're late," Maz grumbled handing Rey a cup of black coffee as she zipped to her office.

"I know." She took a sip of the steaming liquid from heaven and felt the warmth run down her throat. The soothing smell of the strong coffee Maz made in the morning helped Rey center herself and clear her head from her faltering love life and her uncomfortable encounter with Hux. The fact that it could peel paint off the wall made Rey love it even more. The extra jolt of caffeine woke up her brain and brushed the grogginess of the morning away. "I've had a rough weekend."

Maz ignored Rey's complaining, and the two women sat down at a table for two in Rey's small office.

Maz's coffee was great but it wasn't a cure all and Rey's worries kept creeping back in. Her inability to think this morning didn't deter Maz and her need to get the morning meeting started and the rundown of issues out on the table. Maz liked to make things happen and get them done.

"We need to address a few problems we are having with the mobile app. Our business partners need to have better..." Maz's words trailed off as she studied the distant young woman. Rey wasn't even looking at the iPad in Maz's hands with the list of open tickets that needed to be addressed.

"Earth to Rey," Maz waved a wrinkled hand in front of her boss's face. "I can't do this job alone. I need you to be focused, and I'm afraid you've been a little distracted lately." Setting down the iPad, she folded her hands together. "I think I know why."

A panic shot through Rey's body, waking her up fully. How much did Maz know about her love life with Kylo? She hoped she'd kept quiet enough, but she wasn't so sure. They weren't exactly careful when sneaking off somewhere private at work. Hux had already figured it out. Who else knew?

"You heard Luke was stepping down as CEO. I know how much you admire him." Maz patted Rey's hand. "It's going to mean some big changes around here when someone takes his place."

"Yes," Rey silently sighed in relief. "I'm really upset about it. It'll be hard to fill his shoes."

"I've heard talk about those candidates up for the job," Maz pointed her crooked finger to Rey and said in a conspirator's tone, "I think they're looking in the wrong direction if you ask me."

"Really, Maz?" she smiled at the little gosip collector. "What do you know about all these changes?"

"I know plenty, young lady. You forget I've been here from the time Luke had us working in that closet of an office at a business park in the worst part of Hanna City. I've known everyone involved in this company. Most of them are in pretty influential positions now." She slowly sipped her coffee out of the small cup in her hand. "I do believe some of those people would like to see a woman get the job."

Maz's words shocked Rey. She'd never thought of anyone other than Kylo being CEO. The thought scared her for a moment because she wanted for him to reach his dream. She never thought of Maz wanting that job.

"Maz, are you saying that you're being recommended for the CEO position? I never thought of you as being someone who wanted to climb the ladder here. I thought you liked working down here with all the IT crowd and do all the grunt work."

"Oh, it's not me I'm thinking of." For as old as she was, her laugh was timeless. "I'm too old for that kind of position. They need someone smart as a whip and eager to be the best. She'd have to be pretty tough, as well." Maz's eyes gave her an uncomfortable stare.

"Who are you suggesting?" Rey asked, good mood promoting her to scroll through the tickets again and actually see them this time. "Ritta from accounting?"

"You, my dear child," Maz said gently. "You'd be an excellent candidate."

Rey's mug clanked loudly on the lucite desk in front of her.

"Um, I don't think that's the wisest of ideas," Rey uttered, stunned at the unexpected direction their morning meeting had taken.

"Oh, I think it's one of the wisest things I've ever said," Maz finished her coffee, smacked her lips."Now, let's talk about those apps."

~0~

The bottom of his suit jacket hid the bulge of the box in his pocket. He spent the past two days in complete isolation, figuring out all the scenarios in his head. This morning when he woke up after drinking half a bottle of his dad's favorite whiskey the night before his head hurt like hell but his thinking had never been clearer.

He had worked for years to get to be Vice President of Marketing, and he'd be damned to let some snake in the grass like Hux take him out. Kylo wanted to be CEO, no, he _deserved_ to be CEO, and he wasn't going to lie down and quietly let someone undeserving take it from him.

For two days, he hadn't talked to Rey or seen her. Purposefully avoiding her, he'd not communicated at all with his new girlfriend. She was going to kill him for leaving her in the lurch like that, but there was a method to his madness. Never in his life had he been dependent on a woman, or anyone for that matter. He'd been a lone wolf, clawing his way to the top. Even though he was the CEO's nephew, he earned everything he had accomplished. Nothing had been handed to him, and he learned at a young age if he wanted anything, it was up to him to figure out a way to get it.

He had avoided relationships in the past because they only complicated matters and made life more difficult. Making the hard decisions become easy when you weren't attached to anyone else and no one depended on you in return. Being forever single and a workaholic was his recipe for success.

Until Rey came along.

Kylo didn't remember much about the first time he met her, but he did recall how her smile left him speechless. The way she entered the room with such confidence in high heels made him sit up straight and pay attention. He got lost in the sound of her voice when she spoke up in meetings with all the other men in the room. He knew she was special when she first looked at him across the boardroom table with that gleam in her eye.

From the moment she swept into Skywalker Enterprises, she had him hook, line, and sinker. It took awhile for him to realize the hold she had on him, but her wanting to be with him made Kylo want to be a different man.

Unfortunately, loving her brought him to this point and made his life a complicated mess. In the past, he would not have thought twice about getting rid of anything in the way of his success. But now, he couldn't see him succeeding without her by his side.

Luke flat out told him to get rid of her and having spent two days without her, a test if you would, Kylo knew he couldn't do such a thing.

He told Luke that breaking things off would destroy her, but now he realized _he'd_ be the one who would be destroyed if he followed through with Luke's demands. Not only did he not want her to transfer her somewhere else in the company, but he also didn't want her to lose her job for loving him.

 _Does she love me?_ he wondered to himself. Knowing the answer to that question would make what he had planned tonight only marginally less stressful. Understanding that his plan would be rushing things, he didn't like the reality of the different scenarios he replayed in his head. Kylo never made such rash decisions, but he knew she was worth the impulsiveness.

Out of all the possibilities, he came to this one conclusion that would let him have everything he wanted. Walking out of Kyber's Crystals, he patted the velvet box hidden in his pocket. The amount of money he dropped on the two-carat diamond the box held was minute next to the worry he held that he could lose the one thing he cared about.

~o~

Rey worked through lunch not wanting to waste anymore time once she was able to push through her troublesome thoughts and hadn't left her IT dungeon all day. A hour or two past the five o'clock exodus Rey was the only one left plugging away on her current project.

The VP before her hadn't been able run this department to save his life. From what she'd heard he hadn't know how to plan or delegate tasks efficiently or, if one truly disgruntled assistant coder was to be trusted, hard wipe a memory drive.

Rey came into a floundering IT department that no one believed in and, through her leadership, made it the department run with a net three proffit. And she she made it look with stellar organizational skills, Rey made sure the nuts and bolts of her projects worked like well-oiled machines. Her perfectionism and attention to detail made her damn good at what she did.

But tonight, she didn't stay late in order to get ahead or look good at her job.

She stared at a huge whiteboard in the open area of the office where she had mapped out tomorrow's tasks and fixed today's problems.

 _If only wished my personal life could be as simple to manage_.

Whenever she found herself stressed, she worked. She worked through anxiety best when she was figuring out the things that came easily to her. Coding, building websites, and managing her employees came naturally.

Her working tonight didn't have anything to do with the conversation she had with Maz this morning either. Her even being on the shortlist to replace Luke was preposterous. She'd not worked here long enough to even be in the running. She laughed it off to Maz being a little crazy and didn't think twice about it.

 _Besides, who would listen to me?_ She grumbled thinking of the elevator incident and writing harder with the whiteboard pen then was necessary.

No, her staying late tonight had everything to do with the dark-haired man who professed his devotion to her and then dropped off the face of the earth. She didn't want to go home where the loneliness hit her as soon as she entered. Where she remembered making love on nearly every surface.. She had gotten used to him being with her most nights. Two days passing without the safety of his huge body next to here was just about to do her seemed to be the only refuge from her pain.

She wasn't sure if she could handle another night without seeing him.

~o~

Scanning his key card, he quietly made his way down the narrow hall to her office. The first floor was much different than his. Upstairs, the tenth floor was airy and open. All the offices were large with good lighting. Neutral colors were painted on every surface and beautiful decorations adorned the walls and alcoves. Hanna City was visible from every angle through the floor to ceiling windows.

Down here, the windowless area gave it a cave-like feeling when the fluorescent light cast strange shadows on everything, giving off a claustrophobic vibe. The stark white walls made it feel sterile, almost like a hospital ward.

As he turned the corner, there was a small hitch in his step; he stopped mid-stride. He didn't expect her to be working out in the common area. Without her signature heels, she stood barefoot on the baby blue carpet, her back to him. With her hands on her hips, Rey stood motionless, staring at the board in front of her. It looked like she'd been drawing spider webs in the middle of algebraic equations. He didn't know the first thing about computer science, and it all looked like Greek to him.

Her hair had been wrapped up in a messy bun held together by two yellow pencils.

Not wanting startle her, and give himself room to maneuver if she started throwing thing, he cleared his throat. The silhouette of her delicate chin turned his way, looking over her shoulder; a section of hair escaped the sloppy hairdo and she quickly brushed it behind her ear.

His chest tightened at the sight of how beautiful she was, sickly white light and all.

"Where have you been?" She turned from him, addressing the whiteboard as she wrote out another formula.

He said the only thing he could utter in response, "I'm sorry."

"You don't call me for two days, and that's all you can say?" She captured the pen, setting it almost gently on the metal railing before turned to face him with her arms folded across her chest.

He noticed the dark circles under her eyes and a sadness that dwelled there only when she talked infrequently about her childhood or her ex. Guilt surged through his veins, knowing he was the cause of the weariness.

He shuffled towards her, wanting to hold her but scared she didn't want to him to. They were locked in a standoff, and he knew he needed to let her make the first move.

His aching for her quickly vanished when she closed the distance between the two of them and pressed into his body. His arms took her in eagerly. He'd felt so incomplete without her and having her here tucked into his embrace, her felt whole.

"Don't do that to me again," she whispered, arms locked behind his back as she brushed her face against his chest.

"It killed me," he said as he tried to comfort her with a kiss in her hair that smelled like lavender blooming in a purple field, "but I had to, Rey."

"Why?" Her perfect face looked up to him, the mascara at the corner of her eyes wet.

"I had to think."

"You should've let me know you were okay-that _we_ were okay," she whimpered.

He nodded, running a thumb under her eye, "I know."

"You and I agreed to some pretty big stuff the other night, and you just go missing for two days. I didn't know what to think." Rey bundled the fabric of his dark suit in her fingers.

"I know."

"Please stop saying that," she pushed out of his arms, making him feel empty.

He let them fall uselessly to his side. "Okay."

She swallowed thickly, head held high. "Do you regret what we said to each other the other night?"

"God, no!" He knew then that he'd screwed up by not talking to her. His selfishness had caused her insecurities to come back full force, and it was all his fault.

"Do you not want to be with me anymore?" She held herself so ridged as if she were just waiting for him to hurt her. "You can tell me. I can take it."

He realized she was barely holding it together. _She always has to be so strong. Why won't she let me take care of her?_

"Why would you ask me something like that?" he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He was annoyed more with himself for causing this mess.

"Because it sure the hell seems that you don't want me. Someone who is in a committed relationship doesn't just blow off plans and ignore the woman he supposedly cares about for three days!"

"I am so sorry." He tried to grab her hand, but she yanked away before he could.

"I need you to stop apologizing and communicate with me!" She yelled, anger trying to cover up the hurt. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking," he told, heart in his eyes. "I was so caught up in my own shit, I couldn't see past any of it. I was wrong, Rey so wrong. It _hurt_ to be away from you. But I had to clear my head. You eat up my control and I needed to think."

"Wh-where were you?" She demanded in a tightly controlled voice. He knew she was trying to keep herself from falling apart.

"At my house. Drunk." He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. "Alone, if that's what you're really worried about."

Her stance softens. "No, I wasn't really thinking about that but thanks for the clarity," a small smile tugged at one side of her lips but it quickly died. "You can't do that again, Kylo. I will not go through that again."

"I'm so sorry, Rey. I had to make sure. Had to think things through." Not wanting her to get away this time, he took her hand and she allowed him to bring her back to his body.

"Think what through? Had to be sure of what?"

He paused, calculating his next words. "You and me." He held her in his hands like he was holding the most valuable item on earth.

She stiffened. "You just said you wanted me, and now you tell me you had to _think_ about us? Shouldn't you know already? Because...because I do," she told the last part to his tie.

"I do want you," he answered as he his large hands tilted her delicate chin upwards, so he could look her in the eye. "I just had some business involving me that I didn't want you to get wrapped up in, but it looks like I can't avoid that situation now."

"Oh." Her eyebrows pinched, mind running through the calculations and proved she was more than just a pretty face came directly to the correct conclusion. "This has to do with your meeting with Luke."

"Yes," he answered, though he knew it wasn't really a question.

"Are you okay?"

He almost laughed at her question. He was the asshole, and she wanted to make sure he was doing all right. "Yes and no."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked rubbing his chest soothingly, stepping in close to comfort him with her touch. And frowned when she shifting enough to where she brushed against the bulge in his pocket, distracting her from her last question. She smiled up at him. "Not exactly the kind of help I had in mind but I'm game."

~o~

She heard a chuckle come from his chest at her comment.

"What in the world are you carrying around in there anyway?" she asked as her hands began to pat him down like he was a suspect in Law and Order SVU. She was very well versed in his anatomy and knew he was much bigger, and hung down further, than the small hard square. "Well, you aren't smuggling condoms 'cause what's in your pocket is a lot smaller than a box of those," she laughed.

"You can take your time around that area if you want," he said in that voice that dripped with sex. Anytime her hands came near his dick, he turned into putty. She had no trouble shifting gears away from the emotional turmoil whatever he and Luke has spoke of.

"You would like that now, wouldn't you?" She purred until she felt the velvet of the small box. Her heart began to beat out of her chest. _What in the world?_ she thought to herself as she pulled it from his deep pocket.

"Are you trying to beg for forgiveness by getting me jewelry?" she joked, looking up at him through her eyelids, and she couldn't quite place the look on his face.

Rey'd never been one for jewelry, but having a boyfriend like Kylo made her suddenly want to open the box and wear whatever he'd bought to show others she was his.

 _Earrings. It has to be earrings. It couldn't be a tennis bracelet. The box is too small. I don't even know what I'm talking about. No man has ever given me jewelry in a velvet box before._

"Here, let me have it. I'd like to say something first," Kylo requested as he reached for the box, but Rey had other plans and held it way.

It became a game of who could get the box, and Rey was determined to win. She knew he wanted to show her the contents himself, but she was bound and determined to make him pay for ignoring her purposefully.

Jerking her hands away from his last-ditch effort to get the object out of her grasp, she quickly turned her back using her hips and butt to shove him away a few steps and, giddy from the foreplay, without a care in the world, she opened her prize with a triumphant smile, letting him know without words that she had won.

All the air sucked out of the room when she glanced at the contents of the box and it fell to the floor. It wasn't earrings or a bracelet like she had thought.

It was a diamond ring. A big one.

"Rey," her name dripped from his tongue.

"What the-" Rey couldn't breathe much less speak. "Is this what I think it is?" she asked dumbfounded. She carefully took a few steps to a small couch from Ikea and sat down, keeping herself from melting in the carpet in a puddle of goo.

He nodded his head whispering yes as he scooped up the box she dropped to the floor and put it back in his pocket.

"We just made our relationship official and you want to propose to me?" Her hands wrapped around her middle, trying to keep herself from falling apart.

"I just need to talk to you and explain things. I know it sounds crazy, but if you can listen-" she cut him off.

"I'm listening. I just don't understand the rush. I-I don't know what to think, Kylo."

"Just hear me out, please." He found a spot for his large frame next to her on the small couch, forcing her hand away from her body and clasping them in his.

"Yes, please explain this to me."

"I know it sounds crazy, but I think you and I can make it work."

"Make it work? It's not a business arrangement, Kylo. It's a marriage."

"I know. I know. I just didn't know what else to do after Luke and I talked."

"What does you proposing marriage have to do with Luke?"

"Shit. I-I- it's hard to explain, but know this: I do want to marry you."

"Sure. Why not? We've been dating for less than a month. Why wouldn't we get married? That makes complete sense," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She was sure he had lost his mind. What on earth could make him want to propose marriage to her now? What was wrong with waiting a while?

"Someone in the company knows about us, and so does Luke." Rey watched as Kylo's jaw clench, and she knew he that what he had to say was difficult for him. "They videoed us the other night in my office."

Her body went into an immediate freak out mode, going first icy cold then feeling like ants were crawling all over her. She stood up from the couch and began pacing around the space in front of Kylo.

"They videoed us?" He had never seen the look of sheer terror on her face, not even after the incident with Poe, than he saw on her right now. "Did it show us... did it show what we were doing? Were they in your office?"

"No, no." He caught her up in his arms. "Thank God it was taken with the door closed, but the sound picked up everything."

Rey covered her mouth, gasping as tears ran down her cheeks.

"How could they? Why would anyone do that? I don't understand," she uttered. Her voice quivering, realizing her most intimate moments with Kylo were tainted now by someone with motives she didn't understand.

"It has nothing to do with you." He said firmly, setting her away from him only far enough away so that she could see the seriousness in his eyes. He would not have her blaming herself over someone attacking him. "Whoever filmed us wants to destroy me and keep me from taking over the company. If they can catch me doing something I'm not supposed to do, like have a relationship with another employee, then they can block me from getting the position."

"Why does it matter? We can make it public, sign one of those in-office relationship papers."

"It doesn't work that way with Luke. He refuses to let anything reflex bad on the company. I can't be with someone below me in the chain of command when I step into the position of CEO."

"Oh," her heart sunk with the word. She stepped back, out of his arms, til she leaned against the wall, finally realizing why he bought the ring. The only way he could make Luke happy and be CEO at the same time was if they were married. "And now you want to marry me."

"Yes."

"This is crazy," she said. She felt like a caged animal trying to escape from a dangerous situation. She ran the moment Poe started talking marriage, not wanting to give of herself completely to someone forever. She'd grown up not knowing what a marriage looked like, not having anyone around to model it for her. All she knew was heartache, and she didn't want to get married only to have it fail.

She cared for Kylo more than she had cared for anyone in her life. She wanted him with her at all times, but she couldn't fathom making vows to him at this stage. She didn't even know him that well to be honest. Beyond the mind-blowing sex, did they have the foundations to make a marriage last? Two broken people getting married didn't seem like a good idea to her.

"Please, Rey. I don't want to lose you. I need you by my side. These past two days made me sure of that. Say you'll marry me, and we can make all this work."

"Make all this work?" Her voice rose as her agitation found an outlet to direct itself at. "For you maybe. This will make everything work for you but not me."

He leaned back on his heel, eyes going flat. "So you don't want to marry me."

"Of course I do," she snapped. "but not right now, not like this. Not because it's a means to an end."

"I want you by my side."

"And I want to be be there. But I'm not ready to make a commitment that huge just so you can be CEO and get to keep sleeping with me."

"You know it's not like that," he said softly.

Her eyes cut to him. "If Luke didn't tell you about the scumbag who ratted us out, would you have bought a ring for me? Would we be sitting here arguing over you proposing marriage?"

Rey watched him struggle to answer the question.

"Tell me the truth, Kylo," she demanded. "I don't need a bull shit answer right now."

"No," he let out a big breath. His body looked defeated.

His answer let her breath, let her anxiety settle enough now that they were on the same page. He wasn't trying to control her he was trying to protect her from the backlash if that video ever came out. That he was going about it the wrong way didn't distract from the thought. "We haven't even said 'I love you' to one another. How can we get married if we haven't even reached that point yet?"

Eye's serious Rey watched as he prowled to where she stood on the wall. He got down on both knees and wrapped his arms around her middle, looking completely vulnerable. She'd never seen him like this before.

"Rey, I love you. I want to marry you." His lips kissed her stomach. Having him close like drove her crazy. Since the retreat, she let him have his way with her, never denying him her body. She was so close to falling to the floor with him and saying yes. "Please, say you'll marry me."

Rey couldn't control the reaction of her body to the words _I love you._ She wasn't ready-wasn't prepared and didn't know how to handle this situation. This morning she was just mad at him for ignoring her, and tonight he was professing his love and proposing marriage. It was too fast, and her instinct to run away took over her body.

She slipped out of his hold backing away from him. "Kylo, I can't. I can't. I'm so sorry, but I can't." Her body began to tremble involuntarily.

"You can't say you love me or won't?" He looked more hurt than she'd ever seen him. His eyes were glassy and stared, pleading with her, hands limp at his side as he knelt there.

"No. I-I just can't. Please understand. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She kept repeating the words she scolded Kylo for saying earlier.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry," he got to his feet as if it pained him, "for thinking you'd ever say yes."

 _I want to say yes,_ she nearly screamed but what came out was, "where does this leave us? I can't marry you but I don't want to get in your way of getting your dream."

"Well, since you can't marry me or say you love me, it leaves me with no choice."

Her heart beat painfully in her chest. "Which is?"

He gave her a sardonic smile."You know the answer. You're a smart woman."

"Is this us breaking up?" she whispered into the stillness, not wanting to think that he would be gone from her life.

With a ragged breath, he pulled the ring from his pocket, walked to her and placed it in her hands, closing her fingers around it. She watched a tear trail down his cheekbone as if play dot-to-dot with the moles that dotted his beautiful face.

"Keep it. Let it remind you that I once had some semblance of a soul and wanted to do the right thing." He seemed so cold. She didn't know how to respond to this strange that now stood before her, so she said the first thing that popped in her head.

"This is the right thing. Don't blame me for this."

His jaw did the clenching thing again. With difficulty it loosened, turning into that smug, cocky grin that she hadn't seen in months. "See you around, Rey."

She watched his dark figured retreat down the hallway until he was out of site. She waited to hear the door slam behind him before her legs gave up the fight and she sank slowly to the floor, trying to gasp for breath between the sobs.

~o~O~o~

Thanks to my beta asongstress1422 who works overtime to make me look good. I dedicate this story to her!

Thanks to my twitter mutuals who helped with little details along the way, too! I appreciate y'all so much!

Please, please, please let me know what you think! I love reviews and seeing what you think. You can also pm me with any questions you may have.

I have a short Cowboy Ben story, if you're interested, called Sweet Child O'Mine (Cowboy Ben) only on ao3. I promise to also work on Accelerant (Firefighter Ben) soon (also only on ao3). Real life is super busy, and writing time gets less and less, but I write every chance I get. I'm 3todream3 at ao3 if you want to check out Reylo stories I only post there.

I'm on tumblr and Twitter at 3todream3! .Come say hello!


	14. Cough Syrup

Life's too short to even care at all oh!

I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control

If I could find a way to see this straight, I'd run away

To some fortune that I, I should have found by now,

And so I run to the things they said could restore me.

Restore life the way it should be.

I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down.

"Cough Syrup" by Young the Giant

~o~

"Hey, how ya doing?" Rey heard a voice whisper across the dark room.

A rattle of china hitting a wooden, side table echoed in the cozy bedroom. Keeping still and only shifting her eyes in the direction of the noise, she saw a blurry Rose in her periphery. Moving would prove too difficult. She caught a glimpse of a floral blouse that she'd never seen her friend wear before. Her eyes were too tired and weary to make sense of anything else happening around her.

She didn't answer her friend's question but gave a weak smile in its place, never making eye contact.

She didn't recognize herself right now. Normally, she'd brush off a little heartbreak and be at the office, acting as if nothing had ever happened. Then Kylo came into her life, and nothing had been normal since.

"I brought some hibiscus tea. Your favorite. I doctored it the way you like it, which means I did nothing to it. I know you don't like it sweetened and can't understand how you drink it like that," Rose rambled, trying to make conversation. "It's in your favorite cup, too. The one with the bluebirds from my grandmother's china."

"Thank you," Rey's voice scratched out of her mouth. She hadn't spoken in who knows how long and had probably ruined her vocal cords from the ugly crying she'd done the past few days. She welcomed Rose's attention and knew her friend was going out of her way to lift her spirits. Feeling bone tired from replaying the disastrous proposal like a game film in her mind kept her body planted on the window seat, staring into the nothingness.

"I'm making some soup for lunch. Nothing fancy. _Please_ come eat with us," Rose pleaded with her friend. Rey noted the hint of fear in her friend's voice when she emphasized the word _please_ in a foreign, high-pitched tone. "It'll be ready in about an hour. Okay, Rey?"

"Hmmm," a small sigh of pleasure escaped from Rey's lips when she felt a cotton blanket on her shoulders. She didn't realize she shivered from being cold until she wasn't shivering anymore.

Needing the warmth of the hot beverage, Rey reached for the cup with shaky hands and inhaled the scent of the floral tea. It reminded her of the one place from her childhood that was nice. Ms. Larma, the old lady next door to her last foster home, would invite her to tea each day. It was the one thing in Rey's life that she looked forward to in her pitiful existence of living in the squalor that was the Plutt's house.

The pink color of the tea reminded her of the trees that would bloom the pinkish-red flowers outside of her row of rundown townhomes on the outskirts of Jakku. It was the only pop of color that bloomed in the god-forsaken place she used to call home. She'd often stare out the window of her flat and imagined she lived somewhere nicer, somewhere safer. The lady next door offered her a moment of peace when they would eat biscuits and drink tea together.

A feeling of nostalgia ran down her throat as she sipped the hot liquid. The fruity aroma filled her senses and somehow lightened her dark mood a smidge. Her throat welcomed the bitter taste, and it seemed to heal a bit of the discomfort she felt when she swallowed. She only missed England when she thought of the widowed Ms. Larma. Long ago dead, Rey would forever be grateful for the money she bequeathed to Rey that allowed her to get the hell out of her horrid situation and off to a new life in the new world.

Rose was the only human to know all the tragic and painful parts of Rey's life. Up until now, Rey shared everything with her. Except when it came to Kylo. She kept her feelings for him tucked away, hiding them from anyone's view. She convinced herself that she didn't love him and had argued with herself since she found herself on the floor in the IT department devastated after he left. If she didn't love him (like she told herself), why was it so hard to talk to her best friend about what had happened? She didn't want to answer that question, afraid of what she would find.

Here, Rey sat in darkness, wearing the same blouse she wore when she had arrived late Monday night; she'd kicked the skirt off her body as soon as she entered the room. If she dared to move, her anxiousness would get the best of her, attack her breathing, and cause the panic to arise. To keep her from going over the deep end, she sat and stared into the darkness. On the verge of being insentient, her state of stillness helped her not break down completely.

She couldn't leave this room for some reason. Thinking of going to the office suddenly paralyzed her, which wasn't like her. What would normally calm her, suddenly scared her. Shutting out the outside world was the only way she would make it through losing the one person in her life she thought was safe. Truth be told, she wouldn't know what to do if she happened to run into _him_ at the office. The scared little girl inside of her had taken over, and hiding out at her best friend's house sounded like a good idea.

Rose took her in, no questions asked. She just tucked Rey in the guest bed and let her say nothing. If Rey spoke the words into being, it would mean they were actually true. Rey knew a lot of things, but the one thing she didn't have a clue about was how to deal with losing Kylo.

"I'll see," she whispered her response to Rose who found a small spot on the corner of the queen-sized bed on which to sit.

"It's chicken noodle. Your favorite," Rose spoke tenderly, and Rey, at the thought of Rose's homemade soup, felt a pang of hunger for the first time in days. She heard Rose sniffle.

 _Was she crying?_ Rey was curious but didn't have the energy to find out.

"You can tell me anything, you know," Rose added quietly.

Rey bit her lip, wanting to tell her best friend everything but afraid of she would collapse and give in to the feeling of despair if she did. At least right now, she was just teetering on the edge of losing it. It wasn't the safest place to be, but it was the best she could do.

"Soon," was all she could utter.

Rose let out a deep sigh but didn't move. "I'm sorry for all that happened with Finn and Poe. Finn feels awful. We tried calling you…" On top of her sadness, guilt for ignoring her best friend seeped in. "Please know we love you and will do whatever we can to make things right."

"It's all forgiven. You opened the door when I didn't know where else to go." She took a long taste of the tea. "Let's just call it even."

"Okay. I'm here to listen when you're ready." Rose stood slowly, and Rey could feel her friend's eyes on her still. "Finn's taking care of your babies. I think they miss you."

"I miss them, too," she said thinking of her furry companions alone in her townhome. She couldn't go home just yet. It would mean she'd have to get out off her spot which required an energy she didn't have to face the fact that Kylo wouldn't be there, sleeping next to her.

She'd never felt so lonely. Losing Kylo had taken her spirit and exercised it from her body. He had bored a space inside heart she didn't know she kept. As soon as he left, a piece of her was taken with him, leaving her incomplete. The ache of the emptiness of that place throbbed, making her feel the enormity of his absence. She didn't know how much of him encompassed her soul until he disappeared, leaving a fragmented girl behind. She hated feeling this way and didn't know how to stop it.

She didn't know if she'd ever be back to her old self because the only way to be normal was to be with him, and she couldn't. He had made his choice, and she wasn't it. He wanted her, but only on his terms-his timetable. She'd only have to marry him to make everything worked for _him._ She didn't want to get married just to make him CEO. He'd never leave his job, his destiny, for her, and she didn't want him to. CEO was endgame for him. There was no room for her now.

So lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice when Rose left the room. Hearing her stomach growl again, Rey decided she would finally eat something besides the small bites she'd taken of the crackers Rose had left in the room yesterday.

Maybe she could leave her cocoon for some homemade soup.

Maybe.

~o~

 _Ben sat in the backseat of a car, dazed. Blood-soaked his white shirt, and pain shot through him everywhere. He pressed his hand to the gash on his face, blood rolling down his arm. He was breathing too hard, his ribs protesting, but fear swirled all around refusing to release its grip._

 _The tremors in the boy's chest ceased when his father's blood-curdling screams had finally become silent. Aware of the carnage around him, he tried to move, but his legs didn't work. Trapped, he panicked at not being able to escape. His eyes darted around for help._

 _"Dad! Help me!" No response came from the Ben's shouting._

 _"Dad!" The boy knew his father was here. His dad might be hurt, but he was still here. His eyes darted to and fro in search of the man whom the boy thought to be invincible._

 _Suddenly, as if called, the image of Han's mangled body in what was left of the front seat of their family car made the little boy cry out in agony._

 _"Dad!" His eyes must be playing tricks on him, that was it. There was no way what he saw was real. Closing his eyes, he shook his throbbing head to reset his vision. But when he opened them, it was still the same._

 _"Dad? Please, God, no!"_

 _Ben's sobs were in vain. No one came for him. He was left alone to suffer and bleed until he passed out._

The eerie darkness of the nightmare would jolt Kylo awake every time, tangled in his soaked sheets. He'd find himself screaming, not recognizing his own cries until he finally came to. Without her there, he dreaded sleeping again, and the night terrors had returned with a vengeance.

 _How's that for karma?_ he thought to himself, but he knew he deserved to suffer for leaving the purest thing that had ever been in his life. He'd chosen power over love, and he'd have to live with his choice. The sooner he accepted the reality of what he had done, then he could successfully do what he'd set out to do-run the company and take over a few others in the process. He could prove to his mom that he was worthy, and be the man his father never got to be.

He just had to figure out a way to do it in the wake of losing _her_.

Three days without her seemed like a dream, and he forced himself to run on autopilot. He showed up for work, taking care of things as if nothing had happened. He had learned at a very early age how to function when life got tough. He knew how to walk around, acting as if his breakup with her wasn't tearing him apart on the inside.

The nightmares that haunted him before the sun woke up were his only moments of weakness. He held it together for the most of the day, but at night, the special box in his mind that held memories of her would open against his will, and remembering the loss of her would overwhelm him. He thought crying to be a weakness and rarely let any emotion trickle out of his body. But, Rey was his weakness, and not having her comfort him in the middle of the night caught him at his most vulnerable.

He had no strength to stop the flood of emotions that followed his nightmares. He cried for his father and the loss of his mother. But most of all, he just called out Rey's name as if channeling her spirit would make the pain go away. He clung to his pillow, praying for relief and slowly falling into a restless slumber.

The next thing he knew, the alarm for the day would go off, and he tucked Rey back into her box. He could forget about her and the nightmares and function for the day once the lid was closed, but the feeling of dread hung over his head because he knew he would relive it the next night all over again.

Maybe soon he'd get used to the exhausting routine, and he hoped today he could fool everyone around him that he was the right man to run this company. He forced himself into the conference room this morning for the regular Friday meeting, taking his normal seat across from Amilyn.

"Hello, Kylo," she spoke in pleasantries, not looking up from her phone.

"Amilyn," he nodded regally, not ready to take notice of the empty chair a few spaces down.

 _Why isn't she here?_ he thought angrily, realizing the disappointment of her absence.

"Good morning, everyone!" Luke walked into the conference room with a confidence that still made Kylo jealous.

"I see you all are here." Luke glanced around the almost-full room and noticed the empty chair. "I heard Rey is out sick."

Kylo happened to see Hux look at him from his perch at the front of the table nearest to Luke. A grin that could only be described as menacing spread across his nemesis' face.

"So shall we begin?" Luke motioned to the assistant next to him, and he got the lights as the screen rolled down from the ceiling. Kylo clenched his jaw and centered himself on not punching Hux in front of everyone, trying to focus on Luke and the business at hand.

It seemed like hours had gone by as Kylo endured the meeting, hardly listening to everyone's status reports and other mundane business announcements. It was torture not being able to look at Rey across the table to get himself through the monotony of these meetings. He could always count on her being there, and now that she wasn't, he couldn't manage.

"Kylo, may I speak to you for a moment," a voice called out behind him as he tried to make a beeline for the door, attempting to get the hell out of the conference room when longest meeting known to man was finally over.

He sucked in his lips as his body made a hard stop. He recognized Luke's voice and knew he needed to pay attention even though he had little patience for anything at the moment.

"Yes, Luke," he said as he turned slowly to meet his uncle's gaze.

"Are we still good for our five o'clock meeting tonight?" Luke asked. He took his phone out of his pocket, typing something while he waited for his nephew to respond.

"Wouldn't miss it. You know I love meetings at closing time on a Friday, Luke." Kylo's sarcastic tone couldn't be ignored.

Luke put his phone back in his pocket and straightened his tie. He looked as if he were gathering his thoughts, mulling them over before he spoke. His right eye squinted, and Kylo could see Luke's blue eyes glaring right in his direction.

"The business world runs twenty-four-seven now. You know that. Be ready for all work and no play if you want this gig. It pays well, and you will live a life you could only dream of, but it will be demanding. A measly meeting on a Friday evening isn't even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the demands of this job, Kylo." Luke's hand reached over to the breast pocket of his nephew's jacket. He picked off a piece of lint and flicked it off into the air.

"Don't worry, Luke. I'll be there." Kylo stood up straight, trying to look like he cared after being scolded.

"Are you ready for Leia?" Luke asked bluntly, bringing his fist to his mouth as he cleared his throat. Kylo noticed the gray that speckled his uncle's beard and saw for the first time the weariness of old age creeping across his uncle's face.

Kylo folded his arms across his chest. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be." His stomach suddenly was in rows, making Kylo dread the meeting tonight.

"She's changed, Kylo. I know you don't believe me, but she has." Kylo noted an earnest tone in his uncle's voice he'd never heard before.

"Mother has changed?" Kylo laughed. "Are we talking about the same woman? I guess I'll find out tonight who she really is, and we will see if you're telling the truth?" He turned to retreat back to his office, needing to be alone. No amount of preparation would help in seeing his mother tonight.

"Hang on a minute, Kylo," Luke called out.

"Hmm?" Kylo asked, turning back to his uncle who rubbed his beard between his fingers.

"The, um, _issue_ we discussed the other night," Luke prompted, looking Kylo square in the eyes. "Has it been resolved?"

Kylo averted the connection and didn't look at his uncle. The pain that lived there would be too telling of how weak he'd become.

"Yes," Kylo answered as shame took over. Rey was now an _issue_ between the two of them _._ It was laughable that the two most powerful men in the company couldn't even speak her name.

"Good," Luke quipped with a decisive nod and a pat on the back as he moved past. "See you tonight."

Kylo stood motionless as his uncle walked away, realizing fulfilling his duty was going to be much harder than he had ever imagined.

~o~

She returned to her room after a little soup and sourdough bread. The few bites that she had managed filled her stomach enough to lessen the hunger pains and gave her a boost in energy. She didn't feel quite so useless as she had before.

"Eww! What the-?" She thought she got a whiff of something foul when she got back to her room. It took only a second to realize that _she_ was the source of the smell.

 _How did Rose even come in this room without a gas mask on?_

Rey opened the curtains a bit to let a sliver of the sun peek in. Her eyes flared at the light and awakened her body a bit more. She took a whiff of her underarm and grimaced at the foul smell.

She just had a proper meal. Now, she needed a proper shower.

After being off work since the unfortunate incident, as she like to call it, she turned on her phone as she took her hair down from the messy buns she had twisted her hair into while she sat and stared.

 _I'm going to need a lot of conditioner to help with this rat's nest._ She finally gave up, taking both hands and tousling her already tangled hair.

As she undressed, she listened to the non-stop dinging noises coming from her phone. Of course, she had a ton of work notifications come through, but she had told Maz she was taking the rest of the week off for personal reasons. Maz didn't pry or ask why Rey decided to take such an abrupt vacation.

Rey knew the department was in capable hands with Maz at the helm and knew she'd come back to things running as if she'd never left.

She ignored most of the messages and cleared them off her screen. There were a few from Maz, however, that she couldn't ignore.

Tuesday 8:00 am: _Mandatory meeting, Friday at five. Please respond so I know you're alive._

Wednesday 9:33 am _: Rey, this is important. You need to be here on Friday. Don't let me down._

Thursday 7:59 am: _Rey? You there? Please tell me you got my messages._

Thursday 3:49 pm: _I'm worried, my dear. Please respond._

Friday 11:28 am _: I only have a few hours to get you to this building. It would be in your best interest to get here. Dress in your best business attire._

Friday 11:31 am _: Earth to Rey!_

Friday 2:59 pm: _I'm about to call the police, Rey. Answer me RIGHT NOW or I might have a stroke and die and it will be your fault. I will haunt you and make your life miserable._

Reading Maz's texts put a smile on her face for the first time in a long while. She'd been hurting for too long and needed someone to make her snap out of her funk.

"What could be so important?" Rey whispered to herself as she began typing.

Knowing how Maz operated, she realized there had to be a good reason for her needing to attend a meeting. The internet never slept and neither did Skywalker Enterprises.

3:44 pm: _I'm alive and I'll be there._

She hit send and within two seconds, a bubble with Maz's response came through.

3:45 pm: _Thank the Gods._

Glancing at the clock, she realized she needed to be there in little over an hour. Suddenly her body that was stalled in suspension, went into hyperspace mode.

She didn't feel one hundred percent and didn't know when she would, but for now, getting dressed in nice clothes and beautiful heels made her feel just a little bit better. Hopefully, Kylo would be long gone by the time she arrived at the office. She took a deep breath and emerged from her cave.

Rey cleared her throat, announcing her presence as she walked to the front door. A surprised Finn and Rose stared at Rey, catching flies with their mouths agape at what they saw-no longer paying any attention to the movie they'd been watching in the living room.

"Is that my dress?" Rose asked surprised. "And are you actually wearing my shoes?"

"Yes, sorry to not even ask, but I have an important meeting, and I need to be there soon. I had no time to go home." Rey rubbed the material across her stomach, smoothing out the pleats.

"Sure, but I didn't know my clothes were your taste."

"Yea, Rey, you look hot in my wife's dress," Finn called out with a smile on his face. Rey laughed as he watched Rose elbow her husband in the ribs. "Ow! That hurt!"

"You can't talk about her like that, even though it's absolutely true," Rose giggled to her husband.

She chose the modest, black dress because the scoop neckline didn't show any cleavage and the street-length covered enough of her legs that would hopefully keep the Huxes of the world from making her feel cheap. It was simple enough for a business meeting but beautiful enough to make a statement.

"Don't wait up," Rey faked a smile and headed out the door, trying not to give any thought to the panic attack waiting to rear its ugly head.

~o~

He used the trash can inside the lobby of the first floor to throw away the wrapper of the hot dog he just scarfed down that he got from the food truck outside the building. He hadn't eaten all day and realized he needed some form of sustenance to face his mother tonight.

He licked the mustard from his thumb and forefinger, making his way to the elevator. He looked at his Breitling watch and noticed he had about ten minutes to make it to the dreaded meeting. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to get his breathing under control. He'd need to keep calm in order for things to go well tonight.

What he saw in front of him made him gasp for air and sent his forward motion back a way.

Rey was there, waiting on the elevator.

He noticed her hair was swept in a french twist with tendrils falling around her slender neck. He took note of the black dress, wishing he could run his fingers across her shoulder blades that peeked from beneath it.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger…" hummed from her lips, her head bobbing to the music playing in her ears. He smiled at hearing her voice for the first time in days.

She obviously didn't hear him approach because she would have noticed his heavy steps and labored breathing. He didn't dare alert her to his arrival; he enjoyed watching her be herself. She had her nose immersed in a small book that looked to be well-loved. The paperback cover was bent and the pages yellowed with age.

"...just me, myself, and I," she continued to sing in a tone barely audible. Her foot tapped lightly to the beat.

The doors opened with a ding, and she walked right in.

He followed her in the elevator, not knowing how to handle this situation. He could wait for the next one, but he couldn't resist being with her. She hadn't looked up from her book to even notice him. The building could have been on fire, and she wouldn't even know.

He took a spot across the way from her, debating with himself to say something. He finally decided to speak and willed his vocal cords into working.

"What floor?" he asked in a scratchy voice a little louder than normal, since her earbuds were blaring pop music that he could hear from where he stood.

She didn't acknowledge him, so he gave a small wave to get her attention.

She finally took note of his gesture, and slowly her eyes ran up his body and met his gaze.

"K-Kylo," she whispered. Her beautiful face looked despondent and sad.

He watched her fingers crumble, releasing her book from her grasp.

"What floor?" he asked again, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Ten," she answered with a shortened breath. "I have a meeting…" she trailed off and her eyes averted to the sound of the closing doors.

Alone with one another for the first time in days, he stared at the woman who didn't have a spot on her skin he hadn't touched with his hands or kissed with his lips. He could still hear her laugh when he playfully touched below her ribs and how she sounded when she came. It hadn't been that long since he'd been with her, but looking at her from across the elevator, it seemed like he hadn't touched her for years.

His insides were screaming and all he could think to himself as he stared at the woman across from him was w _hat the hell do I do now?_

~o~

I hope you liked the chapter (not them being apart-that's not enjoyable), but us getting closer to a solution. We will slowly get around to getting these two back on the same page, but first we need to talk with Leia. Oh boy! I can't wait to take you on the ride! Thanks to my beta asongstress1422 for putting up with me. She does an amazing job and any errors you see are solely mine. veemarie helped with the moodboard (on archive of our own). I needed something solemn to fit the mood of the next few chapters, and she found the perfect pictures.

Come follow me on twitter (where I spend most of my time) or tumblr! I'm 3todream3 on both.

Thanks for reading and sticking with me. I truly appreciate all of you and am thankful for y'all. I really am. You have no idea how much your reviews make me smile.


	15. Not Easy

Thankful to my beta on ao3 as asongstress1422. She's amazing. I have more Reylo stories on my ao3 account at 3todream3 if you're interested!

~o~

"We were two dumb kids  
Full of grand ideas  
We knew this would end from the start  
From the fire we burned  
You and I we learned  
It's not easy breaking your heart"

"Not Easy" by Alex Da Kid

Kylo's eyes landed on the book she'd dropped. Willing to leap at the chance to help her, he bent down and picked it up off the elevator floor.

It was dog-eared. The pages yellowed by time and, what he could see, several tea stains. After what could only be a few thousand rereads, the creased paperback cover seemed to be holding the binding together by sheer force of will.

How had he'd never seen her read this? He flipped it over, reading the author on the plain ecru front, _Pablo Neruda_. Kylo made a mental note to google the name wanting to know how the book had garnered such love from her.

"Um," Kylo swallowed his jealousy of a fucking _book,_ hoping to cover up his tension. "Are you reading this for your book club?"

"I, uh, don't go to it anymore." There was pain and regret buried in the words. Seeming dissatisfied with her reply, Rey pushed her shoulders back and stood straighter, her voice much stronger as she continued. "I'm just reading this one again." As she spoke she brushed those soft as silk tendrils that always had a mind of their own behind her ears. "It's just a book of poetry. It wouldn't interest you."

Her dismissive remark snapped him out of his fantasy of being the one to run his hands through her hair.

 _How would you know I wouldn't like poetry?_ was his first defensive thought. _I don't know much beyond 'Roses are Red. Violets are Blue,' but I could like poetry, dammit!_

Her slender fingers that had skimmed his fiery skin more times than he could count took the book from his hands as if they'd just met yesterday. He ignored the pang in his gut from her acting so callous in front of him, but he couldn't blame her. The tumultuous way they parted was seared in his memory.

Kylo's eyes couldn't be torn away for watching her, studying her indifference. Or was it self-preservation?

She looked like the same Rey he knew, but there was something completely disparate about her. It'd only been a week since their gut-wrenching breakup, but to Kylo, it felt like he hadn't seen her in a year.

"You're here for the meeting, too, I take it?" she asked, clumsily putting the book into her crossbody satchel that looked out of place on her elegant, cocktail dress. She looked like she was prepared for a university class, not a business social.

"I am," he answered matter-of-factly. "Why are you going?" he asked out of curiosity, but his tone must have seemed curt to her from the reaction he got.

"I'm assuming I'm needed," she answered chillingly, standing straight with pride. "I'm usually needed to answer questions about our online presence and internal workings of different projects and such. Big meetings usually mean more work for my team and me. I might not be as important as you, but I am needed."

"That's not what I meant," Kylo defended tightly. _God, are we back to trading small insults with each other?_ He didn't want to be back to square one with her, but apparently they were. "This is not the typical business meeting. It's the big one with Luke," Kylo cleared his throat when he spoke and fiddled with the tight button at the top of his starched shirt, "and my mom about the CEO transition."

"Oh," she sighed, her eyes downcast as he visibly saw a look of pain on her angelic face. "I should've known." She was about to enter a meeting that basically was the reason for their relationship ending.

He took a deep breath, trying to act as if the significance of the meeting didn't affect him. In getting his dream, it meant the end of something beautiful. He shook off the pricks of doubt in his decision, but it was too late to turn back now.

The silence between them grew.

"You've been out a few days," he said desperate to keep hearing her voice. He never realized how pathetically weak he was.

"Yes." She didn't even bother to turn and look at him.

A myriad of questions kept tumbling through his mind, on on top of the other. _Where were you? Have you eaten? You look thin. Do you miss me?_ He wanted to pull her to him and never let her go. Tell her how he can't sleep without her and how he was so stupid to walk out on her. More than anything he wanted to hell her that he missed her, desperately, but something entirely different came out of his mouth.

"Maz did a good job of taking care of things while you were away." He tried to hide the grimace he made as he forced that sentence out, awed by his own stupidity.

"She's good like that. Very dependable. I don't even know why they hired me and not her." He enjoyed watching her dangle a high heel on the edge of her toe as she leaned back against the elevator wall.

"Because you were the best," Kylo voiced earnestly.

"Yeah, right," she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"I would know. I was in on the hiring process."

That got her to look at him, shocked at his revelation. "Really?"

"Yeah. Maz said she knew a quality candidate when she saw one and, pretty much told us we were all idiots if we didn't hire you. She would've been right."

"Maz seems to be right about a lot of things." Rey's eyes began focusing on a spot behind his head. He wanted to turn around and look, but he didn't want to take his gaze from her.

She surprised the hell out of him when she took a step into him. He lost his breath when her body became flush with his. It had been too long since he'd been this close to her, and he missed having her for his own.

He didn't know what she was doing getting so close to him. Feeling her warmth emanate to him in such a tight space did things to his mind and body.

"Hold still, Kylo," she whispered. "Bend down a bit," she commanded.

And he did as he was told. He tilted his head to her, trying to be as still as possible. Her lips weren't too far from his right ear, and he could feel her breath coming in hot on the skin of his neck.

Things seemed to go in slow motion in anticipation of what she was doing.

Rey's arms lifted to reach around his neck. Her soft touch ignited little fires where the tips brushed his flesh just under his hairline. He gulped, feeling his body respond to her like it did every time she came near, except this time she wasn't his to have. But her touching him startled him, and he wondered which direction this touching was going.

"Your collar," she spoke barely above a whisper, "was sticking up in the back."

"Oh, right," he choked as his ego died an undignified death. How could he have been so stupid to think she'd even want to initiate anything romantic right now?

"Um, Kylo?"

Rey slowly ran her hands down his shoulders as if smoothing out the material. He watched as she averted her eyes to the front of the elevator. Their lips were mere centimeters apart; she lingered closely, seeming reluctant to pull away. He wanted to kiss her, and take all this turmoil back. He fought the urge to take her hand and leave it all behind.

"You haven't pressed the button for the tenth floor yet, have you?" With her question, she assumed her position on the wall opposite him, making their tiny intimate moment a thing of the past.

"Shit, no. Sorry," he lamented, reaching over to the control panel and hitting the number ten. He'd gotten so caught up with her that he lost all intellectual ability.

They rode in silence for the few seconds the fast elevator took to get to their destination.

Kylo didn't like this tension. Didn't like it at all. At least, before they had become intimate, messing with her was a game. He enjoyed getting under her skin. It was something he did for fun because he loved the chase, and she was a pretty face with fuck-me heels. He hadn't gotten to know the person she really was deep down when he acted like a jerk. Before.

Before she was his girlfriend. Before he realized he loved her. Before she refused to stand by him. Now that he knew her inside and out, he didn't like feeling this distant from her.

It were as if they'd never been together at all.

The door chimed, and they'd reached their floor. The former lovers locked in a motionless stare, standing still in time as regret and things left unsaid filled the small space of the elevator.

Once the chrome doors opened, his need for power would fill his soul, and he'd be able to tuck his desire for Rey back into his little box for her in his mind. He was a little ticked off that this power-hungry side of him was so easily accessible. He felt like he had to be two different people, and he didn't know how to make them work together. He didn't even know if they _could_ work together.

Even though not having Rey hurt him, and no amount of therapy would help him get over not having her, he turned his focus on something he thought he told himself he wanted.

Being named CEO.

He let her lead the way from the elevator, and he had to force his eyes away from her mile long legs under the modest dress she wore. Only Rey could wear something so basic and turn it into sex on heels. And, only Rey wouldn't have a clue as to how gorgeous she truly was.

"Do you know where this meeting is tonight?" Rey asked as they walked passed the darkened conference rooms where they usually met.

"Luke's office," Kylo answered almost not hearing her at all.

Sure, Kylo's office had a nice view, but he wanted Luke's. The one that was basically a penthouse for the business sector. He didn't want to be close to Hux's measly office anymore. Kylo wanted _the_ office.

He'd desired the top spot ever since he came into this company, and his need to prove to those around him that he was qualified, no better yet, that he _deserved_ to have that position.

And, he'd have to make amends as best he could with his past and his mother in the process. He couldn't have that bastard Hux taking everything away from him. Kylo had already suspected he was the one behind the video-the unfortunate catalyst in making sure Rey was out of his life.

Hux would need to be put in his place. He didn't deserve to work here, much less be CEO. Kylo didn't know how or when he would take him down, he just made sure it would happen. Being CEO would be the first step in getting rid of Hux.

Kylo paused at the floor-to-ceiling wooden door to Luke's wing of the floor. The carvings were beautiful, and he always admired how Luke commissioned the piece from a little-known artist on the outskirts of Hanna City. The forest scene with the tall trees and natural fauna looked like something Kylo had seen at Luke's ranch. It were as if Luke tried to bring his love for the outdoors to the office.

He gripped the door handle, wanting to say so much to Rey, but nothing came out. Kylo knew they were at an impasse, and nothing said in the hallway would make any difference now.

With a sigh he opened the door for her.

"I hope it's everything you wanted," Rey whispered sincerely as she brushed past him.

Grief nearly sent him to his knees. He choked back the sadness of her not having his ring on her finger, or being able to have her on his arm, but the reality of losing her came to him most when he wasn't able to tuck her into his body in his bed at night.

As he stood frozen, she entered the grand office with a grace and beauty that he didn't know she possessed. Kylo watched the way she took over the room without even trying, all eyes turning to lock on her.

Forcing control over himself, Kylo surveyed the room and nearly lost it again when he saw Hux's lustful gaze on Rey. He knew Hux wanted to be CEO, but he suddenly found himself wondering if Hux was after something else as well. The knowledge that she was available to other men made him delirious with jealousy. And, the look in Hux's eye nearly sent him across the room to plant a fist in the grinning weasel's face. How dare he covet what rightly belonged to Kylo.

"Ben," a familiar voice from his past called out to him, breaking him from his murderous thoughts of Hux.

His head whipped around. Only one person dared to call him by his old name, the one that died with him the day he left his childhood home.

The moment he'd been dreading had finally come. The one that made his heart pound out of his chest.

He met her gaze, catching a hint of sadness in her hazel eyes.

"It's Kylo now," he spoke, locking himself for battle."Hello, mother."

~0~

Rey felt out of place, standing alone in a room full of people she didn't know. Luke's office was bigger than all of her early apartments put together, and she was pretty sure the couch in the corner cost more than her car.

Her chest constricted, trying to catch a breath. She inhaled deeply and didn't see how she'd survive being in the same room with Kylo. It'd only been a week away from him, and she wasn't doing very well. She felt out of sorts and not like her normal self.

Her stomach was empty, growling for sustenance, but lingering nausea kept her from eating too much. She could feel her body rebelling and knew she'd have to eat something to make it through the day. Her skin felt itchy and raw, and no amount of baths or lotions seemed to offer relief. To top it all off, her head felt foggy and no amount of coffee could wake her from her eternal state of drowsiness.

Coming into contact with Kylo himself had done a number on her nervous system, and having to walk into this room filled with important people made her even more uneasy. She almost died on the elevator ride, but she feared making small talk with the people in the room would send her to an early grave.

It looked more like a cocktail party than a meeting. Her anxiety began to rear its ugly head, and she resisted the urge to put in her headphones to drown out her self-deprecating inner monologue.

She left Kylo as soon as she walked in the door before she spontaneously combusted in front of everyone. Being near him ripped her insides out again and brought her to the conclusion that she'd never get over that man.

She pressed her hand to her chest bone, feeling the lump between her skin and strapless bra. She'd forgotten about his ring. No, forgotten was the wrong word as it was the one bit of reality that she had held onto this last week. Forgotten to take it off was the better way to put it.

She'd worn it on her finger since he'd given it to her in anger. Even though she didn't accept his proposal, she still held onto the token that reminded her of him. Luckily she had slipped it inside her bra before the chance meeting with him in the elevator. What would she have done if he saw her wearing his ring?

Her memory of the failed proposal wouldn't fade anytime soon, and she found herself scanning the room for him, finding him without any problem. His broad shoulders, long hair, and height could be spotted from a mile away.

He seemed in deep in conversation with his mom, and Rey had to fight the urge to be at his side for moral support. Taking a deep sigh, she rationalized that it wasn't her job anymore. She may still have his ring, but he wasn't hers any longer. The guilt of saying no to him washed over her, and she tried hard to keep her emotions in check.

 _It's for the best,_ she repeated to herself for the trillionth time.

Tonight would be painful, but she would make it through. Just like she always did. She was raised in Jakku and handled way worse than a broken heart.

To take her mind off Kylo, she distracted herself with exploring the expansive office. Luke spared no expense, and Rey soon found herself lost in looking around. She felt like a kid again, getting lost for hours while she roamed around the V & A back home.

 _Should this really be called an office?_ she thought to herself. The entire place felt like a room from Luke's luxurious cabin in the mountains. The rustic furniture, the chandelier made out of deer antlers, the plush angora rugs on the floor made it more of a resort than an office.

She'd never been here before, and it must have shown.

"Do you like it?" she heard Luke's gruff voice before she saw him.

"It's amazing," she answered, turning to greet him.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm good. I'm a lightweight and need to be alert to make sure I can do my job."

"We aren't working tonight, Rey." Luke took a sip of his caramel-colored drink in his crystal tumbler.

She felt a word begin to surface but it diffused before it could come to a complete thought.

"You know we are here to celebrate the final candidates and introduce them to the board members."

"Oh, but I'm not on the board." Her gaze found Kylo, and she tried to make sense of it all. "Why am I here if I'm not here to represent IT?" She was so confused and beginning to get upset. Maz made her leave her safe cocoon at Rose's house to come here. She'd much prefer to be in her pajamas and not be in uncomfortable heels and a tight-around-the-bust black dress.

She'd also prefer not seeing the man who had caused her to lose all sense of herself and cry herself to sleep each of the last seven nights. She recalled the hours of staring into space the past few days and wondering if she'd made the right choice. Why did she have to come here to come face-to-face with the man who owned her soul if she didn't have to?

"I take it Maz didn't tell you." Luke raised one gray eyebrow in question.

"She told me that I needed to be here," Rey said striving for calm even as her blood pressure rose dangerously high.

"We have narrowed down our internal search for CEO to three candidates." Luke swirled his glass nonchalantly, seeming to relish drawing out something she wished he'd just say.

"Okay, but - did you say 'three'?" Luke grinned as her heart stopped as a realization jolted her into an all-out panic. "No," she whispered.

"I was wondering how long a smart woman like you would take to figure it out." He winked at her, his eyes dancing.

"I think I'll take that drink after all." Rey coughed her words out of her throat that decided to start constricting with dryness. "And make it a double."

~o~

"I'm sorry. I forgot, Kylo," his mother paused as if speaking were an unnatural thing, "Kylo," she repeated, "Names are funny things. I named you Ben, and you'll always be Ben to me, but you do look like a Kylo."

The name Kylo sounded unnatural coming off her tongue, but he did give her points for trying which was more than she had done when he was a boy after his father died.

"It's an unusual choice for a name," his mother added. A young male server working the room passed by, and she commanded the man's attention as she did with everyone she was around. "May I have a gin and tonic, please?"

"I had an unusual upbringing, so I believe it fits," Kylo responded to the remark from her that felt a little offhanded. His mother's words could be sweet like honey but then could also pack a punch in the next syllable.

He didn't want to tell her how he came up with the name from taking parts of Skywalker and Solo and meshing them together. He spent a lot of time alone as a boy and his head was always in the stars. Inventing a new persona as a lonely and depressed boy kept him from hitting rock bottom most days. When he left his home for good, he decided he'd be Kylo and never look back to the sad little Ben again.

The server nodded to Leia acting professional as one could be in front of an awkward family conversation. "For you, sir?" he asked, looking to Kylo.

"Whiskey. Neat." Kylo would need a dozen or so of those to make it through tonight. He had no idea how he would make nice with his mother, but she did seem different as Luke had mentioned. Something had changed in her from when he knew her years ago. He hoped he was ready to find out how.

His main goal in meeting her was to get in her good graces and be named CEO, and he had a lot of making up to do if that was what he truly wanted. The hard part was that he didn't think he could kiss her ass enough to be son-of-the year anytime soon. Would she forgive him for leaving her?

"That's what your father used to drink," Leia spoke in a tone of remembrance.

"So I've heard." _His blood alcohol level was proof of that._ Kylo had drudged up the coroner's report a few years ago because he needed answers. His dad was drunk that night, and that fact changed the course of Kylo's life irrevocably.

"Do you mind if we sit down?" she asked, leading him to a cozy vignette of leather chairs.

He gave a small smile agreeing to sit with her and tried to ignore the way his stomach twisted in nervousness. He hadn't been in the same room with his mother since he left her home in anger. He took the chair opposite of her and studied her face, trying to find the mom he remembered from before the accident all those years ago.

Her hair was in the same intricate bun she'd always worn, but an elegant gray had taken over the once beautiful brown. She'd become plumper in her old age, no longer the svelte woman he recalled who made sure her appearance was perfect. And now, looking at Leia, he realized how much she had aged since he saw her last. A feeling of guilt surprised him, creeping into his bones. For the first time, he had a small hint of regret.

He'd lost two parents that fateful night, and one of them was alive wanting back in his life. Would he be able to let the past die?

"I've heard good things about you working here from Luke and others," she began. "I sit on the board but don't do much else. I do get updates on you from time to time, so that's a perk."

Kylo noticed her voice had aged as well. A deeper tone had taken over the voice he remembered from his childhood. She also sounded like she had taken up smoking. She'd never been a smoker when he was a child, but what did he know? The woman sitting across from him had given birth to him and had loved him (for the most part), but now she was a stranger to him. The love and laughter were memories that floating on a breeze somewhere in his mind.

"And yet I've heard you want Hux to run the family company," Kylo was quick to answer, crossing his long legs and leaning back into the chair his body was too big to fit into comfortably. He seemed to summon his angsty teenager tone quite well.

Leia sighed and then began to laugh like she were at a bar, chatting with friends. Luckily, the server came with the drinks when Kylo uttered the vitriol name of Hux.

"Yes." Leia took a big sip then continued, "I considered the son-of-a-bitch, but you know me. There's a method to my madness." She set her tumbler down on a thick log that had been made into a side table. "I just wanted to piss you off, I guess. Make you angry enough to call me on my bull shit and meet with me."

"So, you don't want Hux? You did all this just to talk to me?" Kylo wasn't angry. In fact, he found himself rather impressed. He had heard the few horror stories from Luke and her younger days, of how she would get everyone up to her liking to get the blocks to fall how she wanted them.

"Blood is thicker than water, and you deserve that spot. I might be biased since I gave birth to you, but you're the one I want running Skywalker Enterprises."

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't get me wrong, I know you're only here to get in my good graces," she paused to take another sip of her drink. She spoke the truth. He wouldn't be here if it weren't for the CEO position. "But right now, I'll take it. I'll do whatever you need me to do to let me back into your life. I was... not my best after Han died. I deserve for you to hate me. I just hope it's not too late to say I'm sorry."

He'd been so sure and resolute in his anger. She'd been bigger than life when he was younger, and now, she was just an old widow, talking to her estranged son. No amount of anger could take away the fact that she had given him life.

Leia's hands shook as she reached out to him. He didn't know if it was age or nerves. He leaned towards her, taking her cold hands and clasping them in his. A foreign urge to take care of his mother came to him as he found her eyes giving him the motherly look her remembered so well.

"You look like him," she said in her gruff voice. "He'd be so proud of you." He cursed at himself because the anger that enveloped him like a security blanket for so long began to involuntary slip away.

No matter how angry he was with his father for that fateful night, he realized with his mother's words that he liked hearing about Han.

"You think so?" he asked not feeling very benevolent in his decisions he'd made lately. He happened to see Rey across the room chatting with Luke and realized his mother wouldn't be proud of the things he'd do to get to the top. Han cut corners and never planned anything a day in his life, and Kylo knew his father was shaking his head in disapproval from wherever he was now. Han would whack him upside the back of his head for letting someone like Rey go.

"Of course, my dear boy. You're so much like him."

It was the first time the two of them talked about his father after his death.

"That's why it hurt so much when he died." She took a deep breath as she dug for a tissue from her clutch and wiped the tears that had begun to fall. "You were your father's son, and I was so mad at him for leaving me and almost taking you with him."

Kylo bit his lip to summon a little pain. He could focus on the metallic taste, and be able to push back the tears he had held back for so many years.

"I thought you blamed me for a long time," he confessed.

"I never blamed you. Just didn't cope well, and that's my fault, not yours. Your life was spared, and I couldn't bring myself to be the mother you needed. I couldn't even take care of myself much less the little boy who survived that wreck."

Kylo sat stunned, listening to her say the words he'd often imagined her saying to him. He always thought he'd yell at her and tell her how much she damaged him with her neglect. The pleasure of looking at her face as he stormed out of the room after telling her off would be his payment for years of abandonment.

But now, sitting face to face with her as she apologized made his tough resolve fade. Words wouldn't come to him, and he sensed his mother could tell.

"Kylo, I realized my mistake too late." Leia patted his hand. "I don't want to live the rest of my days without you in them."

A knot hung in his throat that kept any words from leaving the chest of the grown man who suddenly released the years of agony the little boy inside had been holding on to.

He just took his mother's hands tighter in his and gave her a smile.

"Now, I need to know a little more about this woman, Rey, I've heard so much about," his mother's eyes sparkled when she mentioned Rey's name.

"What do you need to know?" he asked.

"Being one of the three in the running, I thought I should ask about her."

Kylo blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"She's being considered for CEO," Leia spoke in a tone as if she was reporting the weather.

Kylo couldn't see straight. The woman he loved had a chance to have the job he'd aspired to have for years. He hated being the last to know pertinent information, but he mostly didn't understand why she would play dumb and lie to him in the elevator as to why she was here tonight.

"Aren't you two involved?" Leia was never one to beat around the bush, and Kylo was never the one to want to deal with his feelings.

Unfortunately, all Kylo could do was take a drink to mask his uneasiness and his reluctance to answer her question. Not only did she surprise him with the news about Rey, but he was not going to go into detail about his and Rey's relationship. Especially with his mom.

"No. Yes. We were but..." Kylo sighed out his nose, collecting his scattering thoughts before he could make an even bigger idiot of himself. "Rey's and my personal matters hold no meaning in our discussion."

"I see," Leia said.

They'd been back in good graces for all of three minutes, and his mother had already upset him with her nosiness. He had to give her credit. She didn't miss a beat at being his mom. Her instincts were still above par. Kylo also knew his mother wouldn't be backing down from getting an answer out of him anytime soon.

Before she could pry any further, Luke came into view.

~0~

Rey finished the second (or was it the third?) glass of Scotch Luke had brought her from the bar, downing it like water.

"Whoah. You better slow down there, kid," Luke laughed.

She ran the back of her hand over her mouth, wiping the mess she made in her haste to drink as much as possible in one gulp.

"I am having a hard time figuring out why I'm one of the three, Luke. How did this happen?" she asked as the liquor immediately washed over her, relaxing her nerves and allowing her to speak more freely than normal. Not eating much in her week-long depression made the alcohol work its magic much faster than it had in the past.

"We had some suggestions of candidates come through the grapevine, and your name just stayed at the top, along with Hux and Kylo."

"It's not just because I'm a woman, is it? I don't want to be your token representative to make sure Skywalker Enterprises has equal representation. I refuse to be used in that way." Rey couldn't imagine any other reason for her name to be at the top of the list.

"I know all about you; your education, your background. I wouldn't have hired you if you weren't the best of the best. No one I've ever met, Kylo included, has ever taken to this business like you. You might think you just run the IT department, but you have no idea how many times this company would have ceased to exist without the things you did for it. You deserve to be nominated and don't think for one minute that we are using you for a PR spin." Luke snarled as he read Rey the riot act.

Rey didn't say anything back to Luke, shocked at the realization that she was a valuable member of Luke's company.

"Aaaaah," Luke exhaled after finishing his Scotch. "I need to make a little speech, so don't go anywhere." He patted her on the shoulder, and with a wink, he was gone.

Tapping her glass for a refill, the bartender happily met her request.

She'd just found out she was in the running for CEO and had no idea what to think about it. She didn't really want the job, being perfectly content as the IT Director. She wondered if Kylo knew why she was really here tonight.

Scanning the room, she found him and his mom in deep conversation and hoped they were making amends. If they could kiss and make up, then Kylo would definitely be named as CEO, and Rey wouldn't have to worry.

Then the sadness of not being at his side washed over her. He was the one who had made demands and left her when she didn't go along with him, and she was the one who felt like she had caused it.

Rey sucked down her drink as she watched Luke make his way to the front of the room to inevitably announce the finalists. If Kylo didn't resent her before, he sure as hell was going resent her even more after Luke's speech.

Maybe she could tell Kylo the news before he heard it from Luke's speech. She would take the high ground to make sure Kylo knew she didn't know that she was in the running. She somehow felt like she'd lied to him in the elevator about her reason for being at the meeting. He didn't deserve to know, but apart of her still needed to take care of him. She didn't want to be CEO and needed him to know that fact.

Rey knew better than to get another drink, but it was all she could do to get the nerve to walk over to where Kylo sat, smiling with his mom. She moved slowly, making sure she walked in a straight line. She already was going to have to call an Uber to get her tipsy-ass home.

Walking up behind them, her liquid courage let her get closer than she truly needed to be. She leaned against a column hidden behind a tall, fake tree that sat in the middle of the room. She waited for Leia and Kylo to finish speaking before she interrupted their intimate conversation.

Right as she began to speak, she overheard their conversation and her body froze from what she heard.

"Will you please stop asking about it?" She heard Kylo growl at his mother.

"No. Tell me more about Rey." Leia demanded amicably. "Or, I could just go over your head to Luke. See what he has to say on the matter?"

Her heart began to flutter out of her chest. They were talking about her.

"Rey was nothing, Mother. Really, she was...n-nothing. A casual fling that went on for too long." She heard him say with a resigned sigh that broke her heart anew.

As she backed away, her heel slipped sideways, and she almost took a tumble down to the slate floor. Her drink spilt all over the front of Rose's dress. Luckily she really couldn't feel the pain of twisting her ankle, but she knew it'd hurt like a bitch tomorrow when she sobered up.

 _Get a hold of yourself,_ she yelled internally, needing to get a grip.

She heard Luke's voice above the crowd, and she figured he was about to make his big speech. Instead of sticking around like he'd asked her to, she planned on bolting for the door.

She made her way to the back corner to find her bag, and stumbled in her rush. This time, her glass fell to the floor, shattering to a thousand pieces. The tears from betrayal and embarrassment flooded her eyes. She just wanted to crawl under a rock. She hastily put her bag over her body and made a zig-zag pattern to the door to try and escape.

 _I'm nothing to him. I was nothing to him._ She didn't know how she could be so stupid and not see how little he thought of her. Nothing made sense to her. Was she just a conquest to him?

"You okay, Rey?" A man's voice asked as she leaned against the wall for support. She needed to catch her breath before heading out.

"Rey?" the voice called out again.

Trying to focus through her drunken tears proved to be easier said than done. She saw a tall man standing in front of her.

"No, I'm not. I don't feel well," she uttered, realizing her legs were about to give out on her.

"Do you need to sit down? I can help," the voice asked.

"No, no. I need to get out of here," she demanded.

"But Luke is speaking, and we-," he quit talking when she cut him off.

"I need to get out of here. Please move," she said through gritted teeth, and the man in front of her finally came into focus. The red hair should have given it away.

"I can help you if you'd like," Hux said, taking her by the arm to help her balance.

"No, thank you. I'm fine. I'm just gonna call an Uber and go home."

"Bollocks," Hux's English accent had always driven her crazy and not in a good way. Even though they hailed from the same country, she never quite made friends with him. "I'm taking you home. There's no need for the two of us to be here anyhow." She noted a bit of bitterness in his tone.

Before she could say no again, the alcohol and brokenness finally collided. Rey lost the use of her legs and felt herself falling. She anticipated hitting the floor but found herself safe in Hux's arms. It didn't feel right, but she was in no state to object.

She vaguely remembered walking in slow motion and Hux leading her out the fancy doors and down the hallway.

Everything blurred together. Her words. Her memory. Her sense of where she was. She remembered the doors to the elevator shutting and Hux keeping his arms around her to keep her from falling. She felt he hung on to her a little more than he needed to.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you," she heard Hux say all too happily as she felt the elevator move.

The last thing she remembered before being put in the front seat of an unfamiliar car was the sound of Kylo's voice.

 _Nothing. You are nothing._ She closed her eyes and hoped tomorrow would rid her memory of the events of tonight.

~o~

I'm sorry this took so long to get out to you. I truly appreciate your patience. I'd really love to hear your thoughts. It means the world to me to have feedback. I hope to concentrate on this fic for a while to try and complete it. We are getting close to our HEA but we have a few more twists and turns to get through. Thanks so much for your readership. It means so much to me. Again, reviews don't cost a thing! Come find me on twitter, if you want to at 3todream3!


	16. Til it Happens to You

Summary: Rey finds herself in a dire situation, and Kylo makes a tough choice with serious repercussions.

Notes: Please know that this is a heavy chapter. _**Don't** _read past the asterisks ******* if domestic and sexual violence trigger you. When you see the asterisks again, it'll be safe to read. It's not graphic or dark, but it's still very difficult subject matter. I'll include a short summary of what happened in the end notes.

~o~

'Til it happens to you, you don't know how it feels  
How it feels  
'Til it happens to you, you won't know  
It won't be real  
No, it won't be real  
Won't know how it feels

Lady GaGa - ' _Til It Happens To You_

 _~o~_

"Rey was nothing, Mother." Kylo said tiredly. "Really, she was...n-nothing. A casual fling that went on for too long." The words tasted like ash in his mouth but he wasn't ready to give his mother access to the private part of himself. Not now when the pain was so fresh, maybe never.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Luke's voice announced over the low hum of the small crowd as he dinged the edge of a crystal glass with a letter opener. "Welcome tonight to our little soiree, an intimate meet-and-greet for all of us to talk to the three candidates to whom we've narrowed our search."

Instead of being drawn to Luke like everyone else seemed to be, Kylo's eye turned to look for Rey in the larger room. Even though she lied to him about her reasons for being here tonight, he realized just knowing he was in the same room with her calmed him, and he'd kept a watch on her most of the night.

Except when he searched the bar were she had been sitting just moments before, she was gone. A fissure of unease rushed through him, and he sat up straighter to get a better look.

"Board members, VPs, and other distinguished guests, I want to thank you for the hard work and many hours you've devoted to the company I founded way back in 1977 when we worked out of a tiny office that had barely any room to breathe. Now we are a multi-billion dollar company with a presence all over the world and still growing…" Luke rambled on about his successes with Skywalker Enterprises, but Kylo couldn't care less as he scanned the area.

There. Movement in the back of the room. Rey, her heels making her just visible through the crowd, moving towards the door. Kylo had no issue seeing the orange hair of the man escorting her. His temper flared at the sight of Hux with his arms around her.

Forcing his hand to unclench, he stared straight ahead until he could get his anger under control. They weren't together anymore. If she wanted to go home with someone else, even that conniving little weasel, it wasn't his place to beat the man into a bloody pulp.

"B- Kylo, dear," Leia asked in a hushed whispered as she clapped for something her brother had said with the rest of the audience, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Mother," he snarled eyes being drawn back to the couple.

Kylo's brain raced with a myriad of questions. _Why was Rey leaving? Why was Hux leaving with her when Luke hasn't even announced our names officially to everyone? Why did she have to pick that slimy eel when she could have someone so much better who would've given her the world?_ His heart was ripping in two with every question that filtered through his mind as he watched her walk away.

 _Wait! Did Rey just stumble?_ He noticed her struggling, and his radar went up when he saw that she faltered again. Something wasn't right. When Hux placed himself under her arm to act like a crutch, Kylo had had enough. Everyone would say he'd let the green-eyed monster takeover, but he refused to let another second go by where Rey had to rely on that dishonorable snake.

It didn't take him long to get to the door they'd disappeared through; his long legs closing the gap in just a few short strides. Doorknob in hand, he tempered himself by imagining putting his fist through Hux's face as he took Rey from his clutches. He was almost out, one foot through the door when the whole room turned to him as Luke called his name.

"Come on up here." He turned from the door to see Luke motioning to join him at his spot at the front of the room. "Let's everyone give him a hand." Polite applause rolled through the crowd at his uncle's order, freezing Kylo in his tracks.

"Kylo is the first of the three finalists I'd like to tell you about," Luke said, speaking to the gathering and began a diatribe of all of Kylo's accomplishments.

Looking back to the door, Kylo hesitated. He was caught in a quandary of what to do next. He couldn't hear the personal accolades Luke announced to the entranced room as Kylo stood there frozen in his tracks. He could only hear his own brain screaming at him to go after Rey, not trusting Hux being alone with her.

Kylo glanced back to Luke and the crowd that was eager to watch him join his uncle and throw his hat into the ring to follow in his footsteps. He saw his mom with clasped hands to her breasts and tears in her eyes. They may never be close as some families, but Leia's outward show of her approval filled a bit of the void her absence for most of his adult life had left.

 _Rey didn't want to marry me,_ he rationalized to himself, hand still on the door. _She's made her choice._

And, now it was time for him to stick with his. Gently he pushed the door closed. It felt like one of the hardest things not to yank it back open and charge out like some unwanted white knight. Knowing how independent Rey was and how much she'd frown upon him butting into her personal life, he made the tough choice to walk away from following her. Kylo straightened his suit jacket, bent his sullen lips into a fake smile, and sailed his way to center stage and his destiny.

~o~

 _Where am I?_ Rey thought groggily to herself.

She came to, feeling disoriented and sick. Something kept touching her thigh under her dress, dangerously close to her crotch. Clumsily she tried to slap whatever it was away, but her body seemed to be on a delay, thoughts and movements not syncing.

 _Wha'z happening?_

The last thing she remembered was taking shot after shot. _Ouch!_ She cried to herself, her head _killing her._ Hoping to get her bearings, Rey attempted to open her eyes, but they felt like lead weights.

 _Maybe if I just went to sleep I... could…_

 _ ***********************************_ _** (trigger warning)_ _ ***********************************_ _**_

A moan caught her off guard, as did the sudden realization of a hand skimming over the lace of her underwear.

"Kylo," she sighed dreamily, eyes still closed, hand reaching out to her lover.

A hissed curse reverberated around her.

Rey frowned. That wasn't right. The voice, whiny with an accent, was all wrong.

With her noticing that voice, several others things made themselves clear in her addled mind. The hand rubbing at her was cold and mechanical, but most of all, it was unfamiliar. Even in her drunken haze, reality quickly slapped her across the face.

 _Not Kylo._

Her eyes shot open at that realization, fear burning away some of the inebriation, as her eyes took in everything she could.

She was in the front seat of a sports car. The sleek dashboard display upped the sticker price as did the leather abostery. Her eyes flashed down to the hand on her bare thigh, and she followed it up to the man sitting next to her.

 _Hux,_ she told herself. _I'm with Hux._

Instead of bringing any comfort, knowing she was with Hux sent her into a tailspin. Her heart rate skyrocketed, and her lungs burned like fire from not being able to get enough oxygen from her frantic, shallow breathing. A small part of her mind wondered if this was what drowning felt like.

"I'll never understand why he didn't choose you," he growled as an angry flush washed over his pale face. His hand squeezed her thigh hard enough to make her wince.

The scent of cigarettes and putrid aftershave wafted off him, and Rey willed herself against vomiting. She'd been around people before who had less than honorable intentions, and she'd always been able to keep herself safe. She'd do so again, she just needed to keep her head about her.

The liquor made her stomach roll, and it still felt like she was a half second behind the world. She cursed herself for being such a fool. She'd stupidly let her defenses down, allowing for her to bypass any rules she'd set for herself as a young girl growing up poor and vulnerable. Who knew she'd need those same skill to keep herself protected from the privileged and powerful?

"If he'd just chosen you, then we wouldn't be here," he accused. The hand inched higher up her thigh, and in a panic, she defensively snapped her knees together like a steel trap.

"Please stop," she forced through her cotton-filled mouth, her brain on the brink of shutting down.

"You know, I should be CEO and not that prick." Rey knew he was talking about Kylo, and she could feel his resentment in the way he spat her ex-lover's name.

"He's only where he is because of Luke and his mum."

 _Fight or flight._ The familiar phrase from an old psychology class ran like a ticker tape in her brain. She wanted to fight. God, she wanted to scratch his eyes out, but she was too drunk to figure out how to send the messages from her brain to move her body and get out of this mess. Could she really have gotten this drunk on a few drinks?

Rey half listened to Hux as he had a small pity party and complained like a spoiled child about his misfortune. He obviously had never had to work for anything in his life and now wasn't able deal with not getting what he wanted. She wanted to slap him and tell him to grow a pair.

Rey wasn't going to let this whiny bitch of a man harm her, and she decided she wasn't going down without a fight. Her body needed to catch up with her brain soon because she didn't want to allow this sleazeball to make her his consolation prize.

She focused, using all her strength to grab his hand with both of hers. He may be physically stronger, but no one could match her strength of will. Forcefully ripping his hand from her thigh, she summoned a yell she didn't think possible.

"I said stop!"

 _The adrenaline must be kicking in. Thank the gods,_ she told herself.

"You said you would take me home." Rey hunkered against the car door, ready to defend herself if he made another move. Checking out the window, she realized she had no idea were they were.

He'd parked on a side street in the shadows just outside the glow of a blinking street light. A yellow haze illuminated what looked to be a seedy part of town. Boarded up doors and bars on the windows of the run-down businesses told her they were very far from her neighborhood. It looked more like the mean streets of Jakku than Hanna City.

When she was distracted, his hand came up and touched her cheek and she flinched back.

"Fuck, you smell good. You always make me delirious when I'm around you."

"Hux," she tried to be firm, tried to interrupt him, but his mind had gone somewhere else.

"He should've caved. That damn video should've worked. I should be shaking Luke's hand and taking over. Not Kylo!" His temper flared, and his fists hit the dash in front of him, making Rey's body jolt at the jarring noise. His eyes flashed with a fit of burning anger as he locked his sights on her. "Since that bastard took something that was mine, I'll just return the favor."

"How do you know you lost?" Rey asked, trying to think fast and distract him from harming her. Calming him down seemed to be the best option.

"You saw him with Leia," he snarled. "I heard the room buzzing about the prodigal son finally coming home. The board members were all talking about how Leia would vote for her son now they were on speaking terms again. Their rift was my only advantage. Now even that's gone."

"What do you mean?" she knew exactly what Hux meant. The longer he talked, it was one more minute that she could figure out how to get out of here.

"You know exactly what I mean." His long skinny fingers reached up to her cheekbone again and ran an icy line down to her lips. "He needs to feel what it's like to lose something he wants so badly." She could feel the tickle of a lone tear rolling down her cheek.

"I asked you not to touch me," she said in a shaky voice, frozen under his touch, scared that she would make the wrong move and set him to attack.

"Don't worry," he hissed leaning his body across the center console, "soon you'll be begging me to."

 _No, no, no! This can't be real,_ the words rolled around her head like a sick nursery rhyme. She scrambled for the door handle. If she could get it open, then she could escape. She'd run, and he'd never catch her.

"Shit," she cried. The door was locked, and she frantically searched for the latch to manually unlock it.

"Don't even think about it," he snarled as she heard the automatic locks click. "I'm not letting you get away that easily."

This time when he grabbed her thigh, he used his hold to pull her towards him. She heard the sound of a zipper and glanced down to see him freeing himself from his slacks. Bile coated the back of her throat.

This couldn't be happening Not here. Not now. She thought she escaped this when she left England and got her degree. She escaped this ever being able to happen to her.

Seeing her lack of struggle as acceptance, Hux leaned in and forced his lips against hers. The unwanted kiss abruptly flipped a switch in her mind. She channeled the feral kid she once remembered who knew nothing but survival.

Her fight began with a primal scream that came from deep within her. She swung her left arm, hitting him in the face which caused his grip on her upper thigh to loosen. She was able to square her body to him and use her other arm to scratch at him.

He wasn't prepared for her reaction because Hux's first defense was to cower with his hands over his head in defense of her blows.

"Let me out! Let me go, you fucker!" She kept pummeling him as she screamed. Her claws were out and ready to harm him in any way she could. In her frantic attack, she managed direct contact and scratched her target from eye to chin, eliciting a cry of pain from him.

She drew blood and was ready to rip him open more.

"You little cunt!" He screamed. His eyes grew wide when he drew his hands away from his face and saw the blood on his fingertips.

Before she could unleash her rage him again, he lashed out with his own fury. He wasn't as big as Kylo, but he was still a large man who towered over her. In one swift action, the back of his hand collided with her left cheek. Her neck snapped back, and her head ricocheted, hitting the hard surface of the window. The searing pain of his strike made her crumble in the passenger seat, stars dancing in her vision.

The entire left-hand side of her face throbbed; she could still feel the ghost of his knuckles. She could already sense the knot forming on the other side of her forehead from it hitting the window.

She needed to get out of here, but she didn't know how. She managed to uncoil and decided to make one last attempt to get out of this death trap. After a few panicked seconds, she finally spotted the manual door lock.

"No wonder why he left you. You don't just lay down and do what you're supposed to do like a good little girl, do you?" Hux's tone wasn't angry anymore. He spoke in an eerily calm voice that scared her more than the angry one. "This will be more fun than I thought."

She flinched when she suddenly felt his hand on the back of her head. Her body too weak to fight, she could feel him pulling her to him and didn't want to think about what was to come. Rey closed her eyes to shut out the view, but she could still hear grunting as he pulled his pants down further.

She swore she could feel his fingernails digging into the back of her skull as he forced her head down to cover his groin. Trying to resist didn't seem to help; her stiff arms only held for a minute before collapsing from exhaustion. He'd out-powered her, and she hated herself for it.

"Shhh. Don't worry. You'll like this," he said his voice giddy.

She whimpered from hearing his words, knowing she would never be the same when this was all over with. Hux had gone off the deep end, and she would be collateral damage. No amount of tears and protest would get her out.

 *********************************** _** (end of trigger warning)_ _ ***********************************_ _**_

But before he could cause any more harm, a banging on the window from outside the car interrupted the horrible scene unfolding in his car.

In the surprise of the intrusion, Hux immediately ceased his assault. The risk of being seen must have scared him because he suddenly shoved her off him.

"Hey, you okay? Need any help?" A female voice called out through the closed door.

Rey had just a millisecond to use this intrusion to her advantage by hurriedly unlocking the door manually and shoving it open. Her leg had become entangled in her bag that was on the floorboard. She frantically kicked it away as she fell out of the low car onto the concrete sidewalk, losing one of Rose's high heels in the process.

Hitting knees first, she grunted but had never been more relieved in her life. She stayed down a while and listened to Hux's sports car speed away. A subtle tremor began to travel over her, and she wrapped her arms around her middle just to keep herself from crumbling to pieces.

"You okay?" her savior asked. The woman bent down close to Rey but was careful not to touch.

Rey nodded her head _yes_ and in doing so, began to feel the result of being knocked senseless mere minutes earlier.

"Th-thank you," Rey stuttered.

"Don't you hate it when Johns do that? They act like they can make us do whatever they want just because they're paying for it."

"Oh, I'm not," Rey stopped mid-sentence, feeling a bit woozy. She realized the girl who saved her must be a working girl and assumed the same of Rey. "I'm not..." Her head began to throb, and her anxiety felt like ants marching over her skin. "Oh, God!" She breathed a ragged breath, tears flooding her vision as the last ten minutes slammed back over her.

"Let me help you up," the young girl offered. Rey noticed she didn't look more than eighteen, and suddenly saw a glimpse herself in the girl across from her. Had she not had help from Ms. Larma, she very well could have ended up working the streets at night to make ends meet.

She found her footing by taking off the one shoe she still had, leaning on her new friend for support. They stumbled together for a few feet before Rey's eyes grew wide with horror.

"He took everything," Rey panicked. Her laptop, her phone, and her wallet were in her satchel. How she would ever get those items back? The thought of seeing him again set her hands to shaking.

"Fuckers. Every last one of them." The young lady began to walk again, tugging Rey with her. "I'm Connix, by the way. This is my block, so just stick with me and you'll be fine."

"I'm...I'm Rey." She shivered as she spoke.

"Is that your real name or your street name? You never can tell these days," Connix asked matter-of-factly.

"It's my real name," Rey gave a half smile at the blonde-haired beauty who didn't have a wrinkle on her face. She had rolled her hair into two small buns on the top of her head, and Rey thought the look fit such a giving soul.

"It's nice real name," the girl said smiling over her shoulder at her. "Reminds me of a warm burst of sunshine."

As if the universe was laughing at her, small droplets began to fall from the sky.

"Oh, shit. We better hurry and get out of this mess. I heard it's going to pour all night," Connix said as the clouds opened up and dumped on the two women. Rey noticed that a few people who'd been wandering around the street at this hour started dashing in darkened doorways to get out of the sudden deluge.

"I need to get home," Rey whispered as the cold wind began to whip down the street and straight through the dress Rey had worn, soaking it on its way.

"I don't think you're in any shape to go anywhere, Ms. Rey. My apartment's right there." Connix pointed across the street to a two-story building with a flat roof and brown brick that looked like it needed a good power washing. "It's not much, but you can rest there at least until the rain stops."

Rey didn't know this woman and typically would have been leery going to a stranger's home, but she felt safe with the person who saved her from the dire situation she was in. Like a baby duckling following its mother, Rey followed the young woman to a small apartment above a rundown pawn shop that displayed huge neon signs, flashing in the night. Bars secured the windows and doors of the old store like every other place of business on this particular street.

After walking up the flight of stairs that felt like a hundred, Connix unlocked five deadbolts of a door that was once painted green but the color had chipped off throughout the years. Rey was pretty sure this landlord didn't care about keeping the apartment in tip-top shape.

"Here. This usually helps me when one of the guys gets a little rough." Connix handed Rey two small frozen bags of peas-one for each side of her head from her fight with Hux.

"Thank you," Rey uttered and made her way to area with a couch and scratched up coffee table.

The apartment wasn't much, but she felt safe, and that was all that mattered. She rested on the ancient couch that reminded her of something from Ms. Larma's house. It was the only piece of furniture besides the bed in the one-room apartment, and it was surprisingly the most comfortable thing she'd ever sat on.

Connix gave her an old quilt, took three steps to the kitchen area, and began to fill a kettle with water.

"Tea?" she asked Rey.

"That sounds amazing."

"Just rest a bit. It always takes me a while to feel better after I've been slapped around. Hopefully, you already got paid."

Rey was too tired to correct her new friend. Having Connix believe she was a hooker wasn't the worst thing in the world to her right now.

Having been knocked around before in her foster home, Rey realized that nothing compared to what she'd just endured. She was scared for what was to come and felt an uncertainty she hadn't felt in years.

"I'm going to get out of here one day. I'm taking a few business classes during the day. I can't do this forever, you know. What about you? " She struck the match to light the gas stove. "You look like a classy lady. A little too classy for this kind of life."

"Um, I don't really know." Rey didn't feel much like talking. Just wanted to sip some tea and feel warm again.

As they both waited for the water to boil, Rey tried to process the events of the night and the trepidation began to sink into her fragile soul. She couldn't even think of what she'd wanted to do next when her mind wasn't even thinking clearly. Her eyelids began to droop as she watched a light flicker outside the window above the couch.

She thought she heard Connix talking to her, but Rey wasn't sure. A heaviness overcame her body, and she felt herself drifting away.

 _I'll wake up when the kettle whistles,_ she told herself resting her cheek on the warm couch arm.

Feeling safe at last, she fell into a healing sleep before any tea could be served.

~o~

 _Hello, you've reached Rey Vassoura. I'm unable to come to the phone right now, but if you leave a short message, I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as I can._

Kylo called her phone again from a somewhat quiet corner of Luke's office and listened to her voice on the recording. She hadn't texted him back and wasn't picking up her phone. He'd finally snuck away while Luke tried to smooth things over with the board members and especially Leia after Luke's fiasco of a speech.

The evening had been a disaster. Luke looked like a fool when the other two candidates he wanted to introduce were MIA. He tried to laugh it off, but Kylo could tell he was agitated by their absence. It worked to Kylo's advantage; he'd obviously get bonus points for being the only candidate in attendance.

He got lots of attention standing next to his mother as he paraded around, shaking everyone's hand and accepting well wishes.

He hated every second of it.

He'd have to get used to social gatherings like this after becoming CEO. Being good at his job wouldn't cut it anymore. Being social would be something he'd have to get better at because it was exhausting to him at the moment.

He wasn't exactly happy about being the only candidate left there tonight, even though he should be. If he could just talk to Rey, make sure she made it home or where ever she went, then maybe he'd be reassured enough that he could actually be happy with the notion of finally getting to takes Luke's place.

Until then, he'd keep calling.

~o~

Rey awoke in darkness.

It took only a second for panic to sweep over her and several minutes to calm back down after she remembered where she was and what had happened. She looked around, letting her eyes adjust. Making out a sleeping Connix in the single bed in the room, she smiled at how at home she felt in this run-down place.

For a split second, she thought of falling back to sleep and blocking out the events of the night, but she couldn't.

Her aching head reminded her of Hux and what he'd done. The sleep gave her enough energy to summon back her fighting spirit. She refused to let someone as cowardly as Hux win. But she couldn't stand having the clothes he violated her in against her skin for another second.

Tiptoeing around the foot of the bed she found a dresser full of clothes. Ripping off her damp dress, she began making plans for Hux. She wasn't a poor girl from Jakku anymore. She had a lucrative job and had influence for the first time in her life and, by hell _and_ high water, she would use it to see that that monster paid.

Needing to get every last bit of her damp clothes off, she undid her bra, forgetting about the ring she had hidden in there. It fell to the floor and bounced a few feet from her, landing by a stack of what looked to be used college books.

The ring reminded her of Kylo and his hurtful words from earlier this evening and to his behavior when she refused his proposal. The symbol of love seemed to be too much of a burden to hold on to and keeping it would always bring back the painful memories. She picked up the ring and studied the beauty of the stone in its diamond setting, realizing she didn't couldn't hold on to it anymore. The one who gave it to her was on to bigger and better things, and she wasn't apart of what he'd planned.

She dressed in some warm sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt she found in Connix's things and slipped on a pair of shoes without laces that were a bit too big she found in a cardboard box.

She fell to her knees on the side of the bed and roused Connix a small bit, hating to wake her from her deep sleep.

"Connix," Rey whispered.

"Yeah?" she yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Can I borrow your phone and some money for a cab?" Rey asked, hating to ask a girl who had almost nothing to give her even more.

"Mmm hmm. Sure," she responded groggily, and Rey smiled down at the selfless young girl.

"Give me your hand," Rey asked and waited for Connix to slowly snake her hand out from her tattered comforter. How does one repay the person who saved their soul? Rey would at least try with all she had left on her person.

Rey slid Kylo's engagement ring on her savior's finger.

"This should help with the things I've taken. Make sure you take it to a good pawn shop. It's real and worth a lot. Use the money and find something you can do where men can't hurt you." Rey winced realizing the words that just came out of her mouth.

No matter how far in life she had gotten, there seemed to be nowhere in her world where men didn't hurt her, but she wouldn't let Connix know that.

She slipped out the door after leaving her name and number attached to a short note on the kitchen counter.

 _Please call me if you need anything. I owe you my life._

 _Love, Rey_

She reluctantly slid into the waiting taxi with twenty bucks and the borrowed clothes on her back. She hated to leave the safety she felt with Connix.

"Where to, ma'am?" the cabbie asked.

"The nearest police station, please," Rey responded. Butterflies in her stomach awakened as the taxi took off into the darkness, and she keyed herself up for her next battle.

~o~

Notes:

Quick summary:  
Rey is assaulted by Hux in his sports car. His twisted reasoning is that he wants to take something valuable from Kylo since he believes that Kylo took away the CEO job away from him. She fights Hux, scratches him, and is injured by him. Connix interrupts before he can do more harm.

Author's note: I was assaulted as a teenager by several boys. This is my #metoo moment-my way to deal with the trauma and what I wish I would've done. This is a pivotal moment for Rey and will change the direction of many things in the next few chapters. Thanks to my beta asongstress1422 who truly is a genius. There will be two, possibly three chapters left. Thanks for reading and going through this journey with me. I love hearing from you! I'm on twitter at 3todream3.


	17. I'm Only Half of Something Else

We are drawing near the conclusion. I'm thinking two more chapters and an epilogue, but things can change.

My undying love and affection goes to my beta asongstress1422. It has been an amazing experience working with her. She is gifted, and this story wouldn't be what it is without her.

I did a little crossover thing with one of my all-time favorite shows. I'll see if y'all can figure it out ;)

~o~

"The way that you screamed

The way that you cried

The way that you wiped your eyes

And fell against my side

The way that you told

Told me I was wrong

And the way that you'd sing

When you'd hear a song

And the way that you'd answered

When you knew I was gone

Now I know that I'm blind

And that you're all I see

And I know it's not clever

I just want you with me

I'm only half of something else"

~ _I'm Only Half of Something Else_ by The Airborne Toxic Event

~o~

"Okay, Rey, calm down, " she whispered to herself as she shook like a leaf in a windstorm.

Coffee spilled down the sides of the ceramic mug, hands trembling too much to keep it steady. She should've known not to fill it so full, should have been more careful, should have been aware of what her body had been telling her, but her mind seemed to be filled with cotton.

It had taken more courage then she had on tap to drag herself from bed this morning, but Rey knew to come here at this time and this place, and that was the best she could do to keep up with her usual routine.

Setting down her mug, she wiped up her little mess on the counter and took a few deep breaths. Ever since Friday night, her thoughts were slow to form, actions delayed, and everything seemed to be overlayed with this constant fear that she couldn't rationalize away.

She didn't want to be here. Honest to God. She'd rather be anywhere else- _The passenger seat of a sports car. The click of an automatic door lock. Hands moving up her-_ Rey panted, trying to swallow the bile that coated the back of her throat. No, not anywhere, she thought, covering her eyes with a hand.

After a minute of deep breathing, she was able to get herself under some semblance of control. Holding her now half-empty coffee cup, she sat herself in her customary seat on the left side of the large boardroom table. Sipping the hot beverage, she made a face. Typically, she was more thankful for the full tea and coffee service that was there for their Monday staff meetings; the expensive fair-trade coffee the office always bought was something she enjoyed first thing in the morning. Right now, all it did was reminded her of her time at the local police precinct.

The coffee she'd gotten after she finally sat down to talk with a detective was thick and tasted closer to what Rey suspected one would scrub off a barbecue grill. Served in a styrofoam cup then, as now, Rey only drank it to give herself something to do.

She had been shaken. The sensory overload of arriving at the station was too much after everything that had happened. Myriads of people rushed about inside the sterile building with bad fluorescent lights. She had no clue where to go or what to do, and no one paid any attention to the distraught woman who stumbled through the doors on the brink of a panic attack.

Several times she nearly turned around and left, but she finally found her way to the information desk, and they pointed her to the elevators. Stepping off on the third flood, the panic attack that had been hovering threatened to crash over her. The unassuming plastic sign on the wall read 'Special Victims Unit', the floor the front desk had instructed her to go to. She never thought she'd be here.

That's where the female officer, her angel in disguise, had found her. Blindly staring at that sign, ready to bolt back into the elevator and try to push this whole ordeal behind her. The woman had kindly, but firmly, led Rey to a quiet place in the mayhem. She'd also sat her down in a hard metal chair and brought her the stale coffee. Then she sat down across from Rey.

"I'm Detective Benson. Please call me Olivia," the woman introduced herself. Half turning to gesture to the man who stood behind her, leaning against the wall, she continued. "That's Detective Mitaka. We're going to be taking down your statement this morning, okay?" At Rey's hesitant nod, Olivia smiled. "Why don't you start from the beginning?"

Taking a deep breath, Rey began the process of reporting her assault. She could do this-tell someone how she was almost raped by someone she worked with. It wasn't anything more than a casual conversation with a friend Rey kept telling herself.

Except it wasn't just any conversation, and these detectives weren't her friends.

"You said us you had a work function earlier in the night, right?" The male detective chimed in after listening to Rey's story. "And that this 'work function' had an open bar that you took full advantage of. Are you sure you just didn't get a little too playful in the car? Women these days take everything so seriously," he added with a patronizing grin.

Rey felt sick at the man's words and began doubting herself. Had she asked for this? Was this her fault for drinking too much? Should she have let Hux have his way with her because he'd helped her? With panicked eyes, she had turned to Detective Benson, wanting to see if the woman agreed with her partner's conclusion.

Benson was already glaring at the man, small lines of crow's feet formed as she gave him the death stare.

"Detective Mitaka," her voice held the crack of a whip. "I know you're a veteran officer, but if you're going to work in the SVU, you will get your shit together. As it is, I will be recommending you for sensitivity training. Now, get out."

Hands on his hips, he stood his ground. "If we believe every girl who walks through these doors, looking to ruin some man's life, then we'll never get to go home at the end of the day."

Slowly Benson gained her feet, placing herself between Rey and the man. "If that's what you truly believe, this is not the job for you. We need to believe every woman who comes to us. If they are even brave enough to walk through our doors, after everything that has happened to them, then the very least we can do is hear them out. Now get out before I also recommend you for a few weeks of unpaid vacation."

"In all my years I've never been talked to like this by a-"

"Careful of your next words, Detective," Olivia snarled through gritted teeth, stepping close enough to be mere inches from Mitaka's face. "Wouldn't want to get in more trouble then you already are."

The man had wisely swallowed his comment.

"Anything else you would like to say?" she had demanded.

"No," he grumbled.

"Good. Then you are free to go. Send Tutuola in, so we may finish."

Rey watched the deflated man and his ego give her a once over as if it was her and her lies that had gotten him in trouble. He left in a huff, slamming the door when he did.

 _No wonder why more women don't come forward,_ Rey thought, still shaking from the harsh words from the insensitive detective. To have to go through that, on top of the assault, was absolutely humiliating.

Detective Benson had sat back down across from Rey, placing her palm up on the table. Tearing up at that offer of comfort, Rey had laid her own hand in it.

"Rey, you did not ask for this," Olivia told her, her avenging angel looking her dead in the eyes. "Nothing you did tonight is your fault, and I want to you to know how amazed I am at your bravery. With your help, we will get this SOB and make sure he can never do something like this again. Okay?"

Rey had squeaked out an _okay_ as Olivia gave her a box of Kleenex to help with the floodgates that the words had opened.

But Rey's verbal statement had only been half the battle. When the new officer, Tutuola, had showed up with a camera, Rey knew she would have to relive her hell to provide proof. She remembered nodding her head like a robot, giving them consent to take photographic evidence of Hux and the remnants his assault left behind. Like she needed pictures to remind her of what he had done.

Even now, nearly three days later, the memory left her nearly puking scared. She wondered if she'd ever not want to empty the contents of her stomach when she remembered that night.

Trying to keep a stiff upper lip as the two detectives documented the large bruise and laceration on her left cheek. She stared at a police recruitment poster hanging on the wall as she watched the flashes go off.

Olivia was there the whole time, Rey's anchor in the waves of panic. "You're doing a great job. We're almost done. Just a bit longer."

With careful fingers Olivia helped part Rey's hair on the right-hand side of her head. Tutuola got up close to take a picture of the knot that had turned a nice shade of purple from it hitting the window. Hux had hit her with such force that she didn't know how the window didn't shatter or at least crack.

"You need to get checked out for a concussion," Olivia had mentioned as she shined a light in Rey's eyes, doing the standard protocol for head wounds.

"I-I-um," Rey couldn't speak, her throat too tight for words.

"How about I go with you?" Olivia had offered with a comforting smile. A new wash of tears flooding her eyes, Rey had nodded.

Then the time came for the most humiliating photo. They needed more proof of the attack, and Rey would have to remove her pants to document it. She couldn't imagine what she'd have to do if Connix hadn't come when she did.

Feeling the tension in the room, Officer Tutuola set the camera on the table and quietly stepped out.

"You can just move them as far down as you're comfortable. I know this is difficult, but know the more you help us document, the more we have on the bastard who did this to you. I'm right here, Rey," Olivia said, making Rey feel at ease at an uneasy situation. "Take all the time you need."

Rey had slowly inched her pants down, avoiding looking at the bruise she knew was there; its throbbing a constant reminder of his touch and how much it made her want to throw up.

As the camera went off again Rey recalled being a child and absolutely convinced a monster would jump out of the closet or from under her bed and attack her if she wasn't careful. Old Lady Larma would remind her in the softest voice that monsters weren't real. Rey believed her surrogate grandmother when she said not to be afraid of monsters.

Until now. Monsters were in fact very real, and she had unknowingly worked with one.

"Done with the photos, Rey," Olivia said softly turning away so Rey could have some privacy to right her clothes. "We'll go to the hospital to get your fingernails swabbed and get your head checked out. I think you should also get a blood test to check if Rohypnol is in your system."

"You think I might have been drugged tonight?" Rey asked numbly, not knowing how to process everything that had happened.

"I'm not sure, but it isn't beyond the scope of the predators I've dealt with."

"I don't know if I can handle much more." Rey's voice quivered with exhaustion. She just wanted to be home.

"Rey, you can do this. It's important, and if we don't do it tonight, we miss our window to get every shred of evidence against your perpetrator. We'll get you home after," Oliva promised. "I'm sure you'll need to get some sleep in your own bed."

Olivia's fierce protection over Rey made her trembling die down a bit as they walked down a narrow hallway out into the dark early morning hours. It kept her going until she was back to her own apartment.

Then she fell apart.

She'd spent the whole weekend hiding under the blankets of her bed; curtains drawn, doors and windows locked. The only two sources of comfort were her furry friends who didn't leave her alone.

When Monday had finally dawned, Rey dragged herself from bed and through her morning routine. She showered, scrubbing at her herself until she felt raw and the water turned cold, knowing soap and water wasn't enough to lift the taint of his touch from her skin. Acid wouldn't even do the job, but she made do with what was available.

Going to her closet she blindly grabbed the first thing that came to her hand. Slipping it on, with matching pumps, she was in front of the mirror fitting earrings in her ear when she caught sight of her reflection.

Rey had alway like nice things and when income allowed her to afford those nice things she had never once looked back, loving how good those things could make her feel. Her large walk-in closet was filled with tailored skirts and brand name dresses. She had her Gucci personal assistant on speed dial and an endless supply of Manolos and Jimmy Choos to pick from.

But not today. She was no longer that woman.

Ripping the fitted dress from her body she threw it in the trash. Her three-inch kitten heels were thrown at the mirror, shattering the glass.

Digging in the storage bins under her bed she unearthed a pair of plain, black flats that were easy to wear and didn't draw attention to her legs. She had owned the shoes since college, back in her poverty days, and they were definitely worse for wear. For some reason she kept them, and now she felt they were being put to good use. Blending in and being plain would be fine for her today and from here on out.

The loose, black slacks she had belted on had never been worn; a purchase she made while out with Rose. Her friend told her that work slacks were a staple in the modern business-women's wardrobe, and Rey had happily bought them. They, however, stayed tucked away in the back of her closet until today.

The chunky, knit sweater that she found at the bottom of a drawer covered her body in shapeless material that hid everything, and we wore it despite how it itched her raw skin.

Her body screamed with self-loathing, but at least no one could see any part of her. Or, at least the parts that men seemed to care for. No one could touch her where she didn't want them to. If she could wear a burka, she would.

Rey didn't know when she'd wear nice dresses again. If ever. Being violated by that bastard made her not want to wear something with such easy access. She didn't know if she'd ever shake the feeling of Hux's hands on her panties.

Making sure she was early to the meeting helped get her bearings in the familiar room where she'd have to face her biggest fear at any moment.

How did one prepare mentally to meet her real-life monster? How could she face him when he was worse than any creature she ever dreamed up in her head as a little girl?

Rey sat and waited. She hadn't had her phone or laptop since the incident and didn't care to retrieve them from Hux, so she had no idea of any business that had transpired since the night she wanted to forget. She knew she was already behind with her work, but she didn't care. She didn't know when she'd care again.

The door opened to the conference room, jolting Rey out of her thoughts as she watched a couple of executives walk in. Deep in conversation, they didn't even notice the mouse of a girl sitting quietly in the back. Rey began sweeping her hair down over her left cheek and prayed that the thick concealer hid the damages done by Hux and his knuckles.

Rey had a plan today and had talked herself into being brave for just a little while, but right now, she didn't feel it. She felt like she wanted to vomit and spotted a trash can for if and when she couldn't choke it down anymore.

Because all her work devices had sped off with Hux in his car, she had nothing to make her look busy. No phone on which to check emails and no laptop to get the reports that were required on these Monday morning meetings. Gripping her warm mug of coffee and staring out the panoramic windows was the only thing she could do.

She had never been unprepared in her job or even when she was a student at the university, and she prided herself on her diligent research and attention to detail. But, today, she sat with nothing to show and no damns left to give. Only one purpose had her here today, and she didn't know if she could do it.

Rey was seconds away from bolting when she heard a familiar laugh from outside the door. Hearing Luke before seeing him made her shoot up from her seat and stand with her back to the door at the coffee bar. If Luke were around, Kylo would surely be close behind.

 _No!_ she thought a new type of panic stirring. She didn't even think about Kylo and what she would do if she saw him.

Would he react to seeing her? Maybe he wouldn't notice or care. She was nothing to him after all. So what if he didn't acknowledge her. So what if-

A whiff of cigarette smoke blew all thoughts of Kylo from her mind as her nervousness began to rise, and it felt like the wind in her head had begun to wail. It didn't take long for her own private thunderstorm to begin. She could hear him, talking in a hushed tone to Luke, laughing about something. The hairs on her arms and neck stood straight up like a warning to her. A sudden chill rolled down her body and she tensed her nervous body, her fight or flight instincts kicking up.

 _How can he act like business as usual?_ some far off, controlled, part of her mind wondered. How could Hux walk into a room with her in it, knowing how he behaved, and act like nothing awful between them had transpired? He laughed and carried on like it was any other Monday. How could any human being hurt another like he had hurt her and not feel anything over it.

"Rey, I'm glad you're here," Luke called to her at the back of the room. "I need to speak with you before the meeting if I could."

She spun around on her flat shoes and made eye contact with her boss. Red hair flared in her periphery, but she didn't divert her glance towards it. Rey squeezed her eyes shut for a second and willed herself to walk towards the danger zone, building the mental wall around her for protection.

She watched Luke's face fall when he saw her.

Was it her clothes that made Luke react? Her shoes? Or, better yet, it just might have been the huge black and blue bruise on her cheek. The makeup must not be cutting it.

"I, um, was going to check on you. You didn't get back to me after I called and texted you the other night. I really would've appreciated knowing where you went. I had to do a lot of bull shitting to make excuses for you and," Luke pointed to Hux, " _him_." Hux's name sounded bitter coming off of Luke's tongue.

On one hand, she should've known Luke couldn't have cared less about her face, but on the other, she was a bit grateful for him not asking how she got her injury.

Rey's eyes finally shifted to her attacker and saw how they burned at her. She couldn't distinguish between his anger or his lust. To her, they were one and the same.

"My bag was stolen with my stuff in it," she lied, shifting her eyes to the carpet not wanting to divulge at this moment the real reason she'd been out of contact with everyone.

"How unfortunate. Let's work on getting your things replaced and to shut down the stolen ones ASAP," Luke ordered, looking distracted. "We have some big announcements happening today, and I'll need to make sure I can contact you."

A small moment of awkward silence filled the confined area where the three stood. She could feel Hux's glare on her. She felt violated all over again just with a look from his beady eyes.

"My, my, Rey, what happened to your lovely face," the snake's voice chimed in, making her want to slap him. "Did you run into a door?"

 _You know damn well what happened to me, you ass!_ she wanted to scream. _Not now. Not yet, Rey. Just wait,_ that in-control part of herself reassured. _He'll get his._

"I guess you could say that," she replied flatly, trying to keep herself in an upright position. Her plan had been easier orchestrated in her head. Actually executing it in real life would be the hardest thing she'd ever do. She saw the marks she had left on him and got a burst of pride. "What happened to you, Hux? Your cat get a little frisky?"

She enjoyed how her comment wiped the smug look from off his pretentious face.

"You two need be more careful," Luke's concern for her had vanished with his words. "I need to find Kylo, but I still need to talk to the two of you. Hang tight." And, like he always did, oblivious Luke disappeared before they could finish a conversation. He wasn't a great multi-tasker, and his brain was always firing at full throttle, the epitome of ADHD. The unfortunate part of his departure was that it left her alone with _him._

Rey's frame stood stiff and rigid being next to her monster. Panic began to fill her chest, and she swore she heard her heartbeat echo throughout the room.

 _Quiet, quiet now, don't say a word._ The words sounded like Olivia's voice in her head, and Rey took some much needed courage from it. _It's not time. Just a bit longer._

She could feel the pumping of blood in the veins of her throat and felt as if anaphylaxis was taking over, making it hard to get air in her lungs. She realized she couldn't say a word even if she wanted to.

Hux looked around as if checking to make sure the coast was clear before he leaned over to her, placing his thin lips centimeters from her ear.

 _Move, dammit! Move!_ she yelled to herself, but fear had made her a statue.

"If you say anything, I will bury you." His hot breath felt like fire. "Not that anyone will believe you. I'll tell them you like it rough and were upset over Kylo ending things with you." His voice lowered to a growl, spitting out the name of her ex-lover _._ "I have you tied on the end of my string. Don't make me angry, Rey." And, with those words, he was done with her.

Stifling a sob, she watched him find his way to an empty chair at the back of the room, and she moved as far away from him as she could. Closing her eyes to shut out Hux and his presence, she imagined herself safe at Connix's apartment where no one could find her.

She forced her eyes to the clock again, counting down the seconds till her plans came to fruition and wiping the tear that trickled down her cheek.

~o~

Luke grabbed his nephew's arm and pulled him just outside the conference room door before the taller man could even enter. "We need to talk."

"About?" Kylo asked impatiently, shaking his uncle off.

"Um, the timetable for things has been moved up a bit," Luke informed him. "I'll need you to stay close to my side."

"Timetable?" Kylo questioned preoccupied with looking past Luke to zoned in on Rey who was visible through the doorway. 

Her hair was down, which was odd for her. Usually she did it up in an artfully, messy bun or a crazy twist of some kind, but now, it hung in loose, styleless hunks down to her shoulders. And he couldn't recall her ever dressing in something so… frumpy. But God, seeing her did something magical to the muscle in his chest.

She was like his lodestone; whenever she was near, he was drawn to her. Forcing himself to keep his distance was slowly driving him insane. He told himself the dozens of texts and voicemails he'd left on her phone when she went AWOL Friday night were simple concern, not the driving want to hear her voice. When all of those went unanswered, he had foolishly broken down and went to her home, needing to know she was okay. He knocked, rang the doorbell, and just waited for her to answer the door, but she never came. The house was dark with no movement inside, so he figured she was still out. He chose not to think about with whom.

"The board wants to announce the CEO today," Luke said drawing Kylo's focus back to him. "They're tired of waiting. C-Span has been called and will be ready to broadcast the formal announcement. We'll be making it all official in just a couple of hours."

"Really?" Kylo seemed shocked at the rush but relieved that the process would be over soon. Hux and Rey leaving early the other night must have been the catalyst in getting the show on the road, so to speak. After waiting for what seemed like forever, he'd finally get the job and be on his way to great things.

Kylo's thoughts of glory were interrupted when he happened to glance back up at Rey only to see Hux lean in to whisper in her ear. His blood boiled just as it had on Friday night when he saw her leave with that little maggot.

What was happening between those two? Was Hux the reason she wasn't home when he went to check up on her? Did Kylo really want to know?

"Yes," Luke continued. "So let's get this meeting started, let Rey and Hux down easily, and start the new era of Skywalker Enterprises with Ben Solo, er, Kylo Ren at the helm!" He patted Kylo's large shoulders, and the two men entered the board room.

Seeing the boss and his protege enter, the others moved to take their seats. Others trickled in behind them.

Kylo noted the irate look on Hux's face as he stood there talking to Rey. He'd only seen Hux looked that pissed-the few times he'd lost an important account and the week after the man's fiance broke it off with him unexpectedly. Kylo didn't like Hux's interaction with Rey being the reason for that look.

As Hux moved off, Rey just stood by her chair, thinly veiled anxiety in her rigid posture as she held onto backrest lost in thought. As the others filed to their own places, she blinked, looking around as if trying to figuring out if she should sit down as well.

That's when he noticed her flawless face had been broken.

Her cheek was the color of the night sky right before the darkness completely set in. Not too black, not too purple. He noticed the thick makeup, but nothing could hide that kind of marking.

A rage he'd never felt before leaped into his body. With purposeful strides he went to her, ignoring his uncle's hissed commands to come back.

She looked up at him dazed when he stopped in front of her. "Kylo, what-?"

"What happened?" He was amazed at how soft the words were with how much anger rolled through him. Wanting to cradle her cheek, but the slightest touch of his fingers made her to wince, so his hand hovered in the air about the bruise that invaded his vision.

For a brief flash of a second, she looked about ready to fall into his arms. Her body half tipping forwards as if to bury itself into his chest. The the dazed look cleared, and she stepped back. Reaching a hand up she racked it through her hair, pulling a large hunk to hide more of the bruise.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"You're not fine!" he hissed, gobsmacked that she would lie to him when the truth was staring him in the face.

"And Luke is trying to signal you," she said flatly, eyes seeming to stare right through him. "You should go to him."

"Not until you tell me who decided to use as a punching bag."

She flinched at his harsh words, and that was the final straw. He would get to the bottom of what had turned his strong strong and stubborn Rey into a withering flower before him if it was the last thing he did. And when he did, Kylo would make the bastard pay with his life.

Grabbing her by the arm, he dragged her from the conference room out into the hallway. It took that long for his rage to clear enough to realize she was clawing at his hand and yelling at him to let her go.

Comprehending that it was him that was causing her distress he released her. It was like knives to his heart when she clutched her arm to her chest and huddled against the wall with wide terrified eyes.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled.

There was desperation in her voice he'd never heard before. Not used to her reacting in this way to his touch, he waded in unfamiliar waters and felt her fade away from him. He didn't know what to do.

"Rey, I-" he stepped forward to take her in his arms and she cowered back from his approach. He froze in his tracks. "Rey, you're scaring me."

"Yeah, well, good!" she screamed, scrubbing angrily at the tears that rolled down her cheeks with trembling hands as she shank to the floor. "Now maybe you'll know half of what I'm feeling."

"Rey," crouching down on his heels, he made sure to keep plenty of space between them. "I need you to tell me what happened. Tell me who hurt you, and I promise they'll never get the chance to do it again."

Something in his tone must of tipped her off because her head came up and she studied him intently.

"You're not afraid?" she whispered softly. "You're not afraid of what you'll do if I tell you?"

Kylo took a pause and filled his lungs with a much need breath of air. He could smell her sweet perfume, reminding him of how she smelled when she'd lie naked in his arms.

Reminding him of how much he missed everything about her.

Reminding him that he loved her and how he was stupid for not putting her first in his life.

"No." He'd never meant anything more in his life. For the first time in his memory, he and his inner demons were of one mind; eliminate anything that would cause this woman harm. When she revealed her perpetrator, he knew he'd turn into a person he most feared himself to be. "Tell me, and I will make you safe."

Slowly she shook her head, some of that inner strength coming back to her eyes. "No, I won't tell you." She used the wall to claw her way back to her feet. "This is my battle, and I wont have you messing everything up."

Still on his on the ground, Kylo watched as she looked behind her to the elevator as if she were expecting someone then back the other way to stare at the conference room doors. The motion set her cheek in sharp relief and highlighted the anxiety in her eyes.

The same anxiety he saw in her after her conversation with Hux.

"It was Armitage, wasn't it?"

Rey's head snapped to him shocked, then resolute. "I need you to let me handle it," her voice quivered in an odd strength, trying to keep him in check.

"How about I go ask him about it," Kylo mumbled through his teeth, pushing to his feet in a fluid motion using only the muscle in his thighs.

"Kylo, stop!" he heard her yell, but he was already storming through the boardroom doors.

All heads turned to him but he was only intent on his prey. The ginger's eyes widened like double moons when they locked with Kylo's. His paling face showed the scratch on his cheek, a perfect match no doubt to Rey's raking nails

"What the hell did you do to her?" Kylo roared. He didn't even try to go through his anger management steps as he shoved things from his path, not caring what he broke. Several staff members ran to the safety of the perimeter as he charged through the room at the man sitting on Luke's left.

Seeing the writing on the wall, Hux scramble out of the plush office chair, trying to put distance between himself and the force that was coming for him.

It was too late for that. The son of a bitch had dared to even think of touching her and would be shown no mercy. As soon as he got his hands on him he'd-

"Ben!"

Kylo froze. The name he'd not responded to in years stopped his body from leaping across the table as it forced his brain to reboot. Turning, chest heaving, his eyes searched for the owner of the terrified voice who called him by his birth name in desperation.

In his blind rage to get to Hux, he wasn't cognizant of the mess he made. He looked around the room-papers were strewn about, a water pitcher lay broken on the floor, and he finally found her horrified at the door.

"Ben, please stop," she panted, tears in her eyes.

"He needs to pay for what he's done," Kylo defended.

"He will," Rey promised, straightening her spine. Behind her appeared two figures-a man and a woman with badges on their waists and guns in their holsters. "I told you that I was handling it."

"Police," the attractive female officer said as she confidently entered the room, taking everything in with a careful eye.

"May I help you?" Luke said unshaken as he pushed up from his own chair at the head of the desk.

"We are looking for a one Armitage Hux," the male officer said coming to stand on his partners left. "Know where we can find him?"

~o~

I am overwhelmed by some of your responses to the last chapter. It was a difficult chapter to write, and I know for some of you, it was a difficult chapter to read. I am humbled by your love and uplifted by your words. Many of you told me your own stories, and I just want to let you know I'm giving you a hug through the internet right now. I am strengthened by your love and support.

I know many of you wanted Kylo to beat the shit out of Hux, but I also wanted Rey to be strong and save herself first. Let's see what Kylo does in the next chapter, shall we?


	18. Ghosts That We Knew

A note for you: In this chapter, Fin is Fin Tutuola from Law and Order SVU, not our beloved SW Finn. I also stole a few of their lines from the show.

~o~

"So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light.

'Cause oh that gave me such a fright.

But I will hold as long as you like.

Just promise me we'll be all right."

 _Ghosts That We Knew_ by Mumford and Sons

~o~

"I would like to know what is going on before you talk to any of my people." Luke countered, making his way toward the two detectives who had crossed into the boardroom.

The female detective looked over Luke with a sharp eye. "And you would be?"

"Luke Skywalker," he answered, a sharp grin of his own as he held out his hand to both the officers.

"Detective Olivia Benson. This is my partner, Detective Odafin Tutuola."

"But you can call me, Fin, Mr. Skywalker." Fin paused for a minute, looking at Luke. "'Skywalker' as in 'Skywalker Enterprises'?" Fin questioned as he reluctantly took the offered hand.

"The very same. Now, why are you here?" Luke demanded pleasantly.

The woman took the lead, eyes scanning over the group of people before they locked squarely on the sneering redhead. "We are from the Special Victims unit and we have some questions for Mr. Hux." Her lips curled at the target before she turned her gaze back to Luke with a winsome smile. "We look forward to your cooperation."

As if in slow motion, the scene took place in front of Kylo, but the subject of his unwavering focus was Rey. Everything else seeming to come through a filter as he watched her, using her presence to keep his tenuous hold in his temper as he felt his rage bubble up once more with the confirmation of his worst fears.

Luke looked like he had taken a bit out of lemon and was looking for a subtle way of spitting it out. "But of course. Why don't we take this into my office and you may ask your questions there. I'll have coffee brought up."

"No." Olivia said. "We'll ask our questions down at the station. I'm sure if you would like to join we could scrape up some coffee for you."

"Mr. Hux," the female detective started, her cold eyes a bitter dose of reality against her feral smile. "If you'd be so kind as to to follow us. We have a nice squad car with your name on it."

"I'll do no such thing!" Hux folded his arms in protest, unmoving from his spot. "I didn't do anything that little whore didn't beg me to do. It seems our so-called innocent Rey likes to be a little rough. You're making a huge mistake."

Kylo thought Armitage deciding to stay where he stood was a wise move. If Kylo had gotten any closer to the repulsive man, Kylo might be the one being led out in handcuffs today.

"If you are unwilling to come with us of your own volition, Mr. Hux," Olivia said with ill-disguised cheer, "you leave us no choice then to formally arrest you. Detective Tutuola, if you'd do the honors."

"It would be my pleasure," the dark-skinned man stepped forward pulling out his cuffs.

"I want my lawyer," Hux demanded, his back pressed up against the wall, eyes wide as they vacillated between Kylo and the detectives. "Whatever this is about, I can tell you it is a lie meant to smear my good name."

"Good?" Rey sneered on a derisive laugh, all eyes turning to the brown haired woman. "There is nothing good about you, you sniveling snake."

"I'm innocent!" Hux screamed, slamming is fist onto the table. It was then that Kylo noticed Hux's hands were visibly shaking, and he found pleasure in his nemesis's fear.

"Innocent?" Rey sneered. "Nothing you did to me was innocent."

The air in the room was sucked out all around Kylo. He couldn't catch a breath. The words she spoke made the gravity in the room work against him, finding himself holding on to the conference table for dear life. If there weren't indentions from how hard he gripped the table, he'd be shocked. Just from hearing her voice, his knees went weak.

He didn't know how she could be strong when he was falling apart.

"This is a huge misunderstanding." Hux tried again, but his cries seemed to fall on deaf ears. "There's no possible way that you could be doing this to me. I did nothing wrong!" Seeing that the detective was unmoved, Hux turned his face. "She attacked me! See this scratch!" Hux traipsed a finger down the defensive wound Rey had left on his cheek.

"My gut says he's lying," Lieutenant Benson uttered.

"Your gut's a genius, Olivia," Fin responded as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a set of handcuffs.

A few of the onlookers gasped, whispering among themselves as the stood clustered together along the edge of the room. A few were trying to subtly record everything on their cellphones.

"You have the right to keep your mouth shut. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer…" Fin began reading Hux his rights.

Kylo's eyes turned to Rey and watched as the female detective reached out and grabbed Rey's hand which seemed to calm her trembling lip. He wanted to leap across the table and take her in his arms, but the way she rejected his touch earlier, he refrained. He kicked himself for getting them all in this situation.

Kylo couldn't believe this was happening today of all days. His big day. The day he was to be named CEO in front of the whole company while being broadcast on CSPAN was now tainted by this mess.

He should be furious. In fact, a few months ago, he would've destroyed the conference room in a fit of anger because his plans had been wrecked. He'd have yelled and screamed at anyone around who dared to mess with his destiny. Up until this point, people feared him, and he did everything in his power to make sure that didn't change.

But today, something inside him had shifted. The steel cage he'd built inside himself had melted and something softer had replaced the hardness. Whether people bowed at his feet was no longer his goal. Making sure the family held on to the company meant nothing to him.

All he wanted was Rey in his future.

Like a swimmer breaking the surface after too long being under, Kylo finally realized his heart belonged to her. Nothing else mattered. His feelings for her were lines from old country love songs he once thought to be cliché and cheesy. He no longer cared if he took Luke's place, and the sudden realization made the burden he had been carrying all this time lighter. The need to prove himself to his mom and those around him vanished. He'd disappointed the only person he wanted to please, and he had to make it right.

Starting now.

Kylo had vowed to take down Hux once he gained control of things. When Rey was the one who took Hux off his high horse, giving him his comeuppance, that made Kylo smile. He knew Hux didn't expect his demise to come from the quiet women in the IT department.

"Please. Please! This is a mistake. You can't do this!" Hux began to wail while Fin pushed him to the door where Rey and the female detective stood. He messed with the wrong person.

"Isn't it sickening how fast bullies can turn into sniveling little whiny-tits when they are told they need to own up for their actions." Lieutenant Benson said in a loud aside to Rey, subtly shifting her body to stand between Rey and Hux as he was walked around the table in cuffs. Kylo saw the Mama Bear in the detective.

"Highlight of my day," Rey said in response staring down her attacker and breaking into the first, albeit fragile, smile he'd seen on her all morning.

Knowing Hux couldn't win or talk himself out of this mess must've made her ecstatic.

"You have no proof!" Hux yelled at her and spat at her feet.

Rey threw her shoulders back, her chest puffing out in a confidence that humbled Kylo. "Attack wounds, DNA, and an eye witness says I do."

A silent death glare came from Hux. His hate could be felt all around. It suffocated Kylo, and the evil inside the room couldn't leave soon enough. He'd been a plague on the company, using his underhanded tactics to steadily climb the corporate ladder by any means necessary. It was time for him to get what was coming to him.

"You deserve each other," the ginger sneered, and Kylo could only guess to whom he referred. Kylo wanted Rey and knew he didn't deserve her.

"Fin, it's time to get to the station and ask this upstanding citizen a few questions," Lieutenant Benson uttered with a little snark under her breath.

"I want my lawyer!" Hux demanded. "I'm not saying anything without my lawyer. You both will regret the day you were ever born!"

Only because Kylo was close enough as did he hear Detective Fin whisper up into the redhead's eyes, "You first." Fin finished escorting Hux out of the room. Kylo could hear Hux's cries of protest all the way down the hall.

Before the elevator door shut and drowned out Hux, Kylo heard her sweet voice.

"Olivia," she uttered with a trembling lip.

Kylo still stood motionless in his spot, watching a quiet conversation happen between the two women. Rey hugged the lieutenant, and he noticed whatever Olivia whispered in Rey's ear seemed to keep her chin up.

He wanted to go to Rey, but a thought paralyzed him from doing so. _What if she doesn't want me?_ She had pushed him away earlier, repulsed by his touch. He didn't know if her reaction had anything to do with Hux and the trauma or if she truly hated his guts.

After the cops left with Hux, a silent confusion filled the room. No one knew what to do and everyone stared at Rey as if she were calling the shots. As soon as she realized all eyes were on her, she bolted out the door. Kylo couldn't handle being in the conference room any longer either and followed her.

He did a double take, watching her enter the office of the man she just had arrested. _Why would she do that to herself?_

"What are you doing?" he asked as he watched her look around the room like she was searching for treasure.

"Why do you care?" she snipped.

"I just ... do."

She scoffed. "Just go. I got this. I'm just looking for-" he watched her eyes scan the room and finally fixate on the corner where a coat rack stood. Hux's winter jacket hung from one of the hooks. "There it is," she said with a sigh, letting out a deep breath.

She made a beeline for a bag that sat crumbled on the floor. He recognized it as her bag she had Friday night on the elevator. He wondered if her Pablo Neruda book was still in there. He'd picked up a copy for himself this weekend, wanting to know what she read and get inside her head. He wasn't even ashamed when he bought the Jane Austen anthology as well.

A few months ago, he wouldn't be caught dead buying what he called lonely, cat lady books. Now, her soft heart had changed him for the better.

Her glassy eyes didn't even look his way when she draped the back across her body. He could've been a ghost in the room for all the attention she gave to him. He knew he was being a needy jerk feeling that way. She'd been through hell, and he was getting upset because she didn't notice him. He really was an ass hole.

"Rey, I-" he began, wanting to tell her that he was sorry for everything. How he missed her and needed her back in his life.

"Kylo," she interrupted, one hand raised, not giving him the chance, as she stepped around him. "I can't right now."

"Rey, please. Can we just talk?" Her steps hesitated, and he pressed his luck. "Five minutes. I'll ask nothing more of you then that."

She turned. Her spine straitened as she seem to give him the time he requested. He noticed how the ghastly sweater turned her completion into rich cream even as it tried to hide every line of her shapely body. It was her eyes though, those gorgeous hazel eyes like gutted him, tears swimming in their depths. She looked like she was about to break down, but her eyes warned away anyone that would try to help her.

How he wished he could make her feel whole again. Be the one she relied on to take some of the weight of her burdens. Be the man he needed to before the politics of this company had eaten them both alive.

Before he could get a word out, get on his knees and pleaded his case further, he watched Luke marching down the hall.

"Kylo," his uncle called, "I need a word."

"Duty calls, Kylo," she said, subtly dabbing the too long sleeves of her sweater to her cheeks before Luke could get too close. "And it always will, won't it?" Her resigned smile cut him almost as deeply as her words. Without another backward glance she turned and walked away.

Kylo watched her go until the ding of the elevator took her out of sight, but he waited for his uncle to catch up to him. "What do you need, Luke? This really isn't a good time for a chat." His lips pressed together in frustration as he rubbed the stubble on his chin; he didn't have the energy to shave lately.

"I need to talk about the transition," Luke checked his Apple watch reflectively.

He looked at his uncle aghast. "Did you not see what just went down in your conference room?" And Kylo realized he did; Luke just didn't care. The man he had tried to emulate for years was nothing more than an unsympathetic human being who cared only about the bottom line.

"Of course, I did. I was reassured that my choice for CEO was the right one. Hux is a delinquent, and Rey isn't mentally stable to handle anything at the moment. You know women can be so fragile. You're now more important than ever, my son."

"You're kidding, right?"

"I rarely 'kid'. You should know that."

"If we're done here, I need to make sure Rey gets home safely." Disgusted, he tried to make it past Luke in the hallway. Knowing she had a head start made Kylo impatient. He didn't want her to leave without talking to her.

"Why don't we send someone else to check on her? Maybe Maz? She'll need a woman to help in this situation, don't you think? I have, I mean, you and I have a busy day planned."

 _What she needs is ME! Not Maz, for Christ's sake._ Kylo screamed on the inside.

"I don't think it's the best idea to put my face on tv right now, announcing me being CEO to the world. Word is already out about Hux, and me being lumped in with him would not be good. You need damage control. The PR department needed to be mobilized five minutes ago."

"I disagree. We need to move now to get ahead of this thing. Make the announcement before the press get a hold of the story."

"Haven't you heard of social media? You don't need the AP to get the info these days. I'm sure I saw a couple people filming as the cuffs went on Hux. It's already out there."

Luke began walking back towards the conference room. "Let's move the announcement up. The cameras were coming around this time anyhow. Let's go discuss the details, shall we?"

Kylo groaned in frustration, which made Luke take notice.

"It'll never end, will it?" Even if Kylo gained the title of CEO, he'd never be fully in command. Luke would always be there, pulling the strings from the shadows

"What are you talking about? We don't have time to have a long discussion about it, Kylo."

"You'll always be telling me what to do. You've been stringing me along for years, and now that you're finally stepping down, you won't really be leaving."

"Nonsense! It'll be your company in just an hour or so. You'll get to make all the decisions you want." Luke patted the big man's shoulder like he was a child, and Kylo jerked away.

"Except the decision to postpone."

Luke threw his hands up. "I don't know why you want to delay so badly"

"Because you should trust my decisions!" Kylo roared back. "If you want me to take the reigns, then you need to trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"I trust you, but I don't think chasing Rey is the answer to our upcoming shit storm. So, like I said, _Ben_ , we need to go. _Now._ C-SPAN awaits."

Kylo didn't budge. No one called him Ben.

Well, except for Rey.

Kylo's mind flew back to the times his uncle forced him to choose his duties over Rey. It took Kylo until this moment to see that Luke only thought of himself. Kylo had been too self-involved to see it. It wasn't until he let go and let himself fully love Rey did he see who he truly was. He didn't want to be that selfish man anymore.

"Kylo, are you coming?" Luke asked one last time.

~o~

 _Breathe._

 _Breathe._

 _Breathe._

Rey told herself over and over again. She could hardly make it to the elevator before collapsing, clinging to the handrails that miraculously kept her body from slipping onto the floor. The dings of the descending elevator rang through her mind. Each one reminding her she was a little further away from the job, and the man, she loved.

She would let the company live without her for a few days. Let Kylo take over and get lost in the demands of the job. While the excitement of the change-of-command was still causing a stir within the company, she'd quietly submit her resignation and move on. No one would really care. There were hundreds of qualified people to take her job. She wasn't anything special.

Where she would go after Skywalker Enterprises, she didn't know.

Maybe Rose would let her help in her floral shop? She had enough money saved to live on an hourly wage for a while. She could sell her flat and be set for a few years.

Rey couldn't believe she was walking away from the only job she thought she ever wanted, but she couldn't imagine going back there ever again. Too many bad memories haunted her there.

The doors opened to the street level, and she desperately needed to call Rose, but the phone she dug out of her bag Hux had taken was dead. She had her best friend drop her off early this morning to get to work, but she didn't think about how she would get home. Had Rose mentioned something as Rey stepped out of the car? If she had, Rey didn't recall. Her brain had been filled with a fogginess she couldn't shake.

Rey had planned everything that happened today in great detail. It was her idea to have Hux arrested in front of everyone instead of in the dark of night at his home. She wanted to shame him like he had shamed her.

When she went into the police station, Olivia and Fin wanted to bust Hux immediately with guns a blazing. The two detectives not only believed her but apparently wanted to suit up and go into battle for her.

Unbeknownst to Rey, Hux had a prior complaint of abuse from an ex-fiance, but they couldn't nail him with just her testimony. Not enough evidence, they said. It was a "he said-she said" situation. Now that Rey had come forward, two attacks made a much for focused light to look for dirt and make it stick.

Now that she had accomplished what she set out to do, she felt lost. Her checklist had been completed, and she was left wandering aimlessly in front of her office building.

The street she drove on every day to work looked like a foreign land to her. She looked to left and to the right, not knowing which direction to walk. Maybe she could borrow a phone from a bodega and call Rose along the way home. The fresh air felt good in her lungs, and she noticed the sun shining for the first time since that night. _A little vitamin D and a blue sky would be good_ , she thought. It seemed to be keeping the panic attack at bay.

Closing her eyes after pushing the crosswalk button, she quieted her mind to listen for the beeps that would let her know she could cross. She freed her mind of all the bullshit she'd just endured and focused on the mundane street noise all around her. The voice of Olivia filtered in above the commotion around her. The words she whispered to Rey before Olivia left with Hux in tow reverberated in her mind on repeat.

 _You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now_.

One day, soon, Rey would believe those words. But not now. Now she said them like a mantra, drawing strength from the fact that at least someone thought her strong. She was so focused on her own thoughts that it a minute that it was her name being called over the noise of the street.

"Rey! Rey! Wait up!"

She didn't turn around immediately, guilty basking in the velvety voice that she'd grown to love and missed more than she cared to admit.

"Rey!" Kylo called again.

The crosswalk buzzer signaled that it was time to cross the street, but instead of heading to the other side of the busy road, she opened her eyes and turned to face him.

Kylo stood in front of her, winded. He must have sprinted to catch her. Even disheveled, he looked amazing. She hadn't noticed earlier how his black suit was tailored just so to fit every long sinewy muscle on his body. His red tie popped and brought his look together. It would look good on camera today. So would all those cute moles on his face she had once loved to kiss.

Being the new face of Skywalker Enterprises looked good on him.

"You okay?" he asked. His hair blew all around his face. It had grown a little longer since she last took notice. Despite his polished appearance, she caught a desperate look in his deep brown eyes. Or was the sad look pity? She didn't need him feeling sorry for her. He was moving on to running the company now and didn't need to bother with her and her personal problems. She was nothing to him after all.

"No." A lump formed in her throat, and she had no idea how she formed her words. "But I'm still standing, so that's something."

"Are you walking somewhere?" he asked a little too nicely.

"Home. Hux had my stuff all weekend, so I didn't have my keys. No keys. No car. I was gonna call Rose to come get me … maybe … but, for now, I want to walk."

"I can take you home if you'd like."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood straight. Uneasiness began to seep in. "Don't you have a company to take over today?"

She watched a sideways smile wash across his face. It was subtle but made his countenance brighter in a way she'd never noticed before. His boyish charm eased her fears that had nothing to do with him. Hux had done a number on her trust in men.

"Nothing that can't wait."

"Are you sure?"

"I have something more important to do."

"Oh, okay."

"So, may I take you home?"

"You're taking me home? To my house? Not any detours?" She sounded like a crazy lady, asking him such questions, but she now had a reason to be cautious. The last time a man offered her a ride home, she ended up with a black eye and bad case of PTSD.

"Straight home. No detours. Scouts honor." He said as he held up three fingers and stood up straight as if he were a little Boy Scout reciting his pledge.

"Ok, Kylo. I'll take that ride."

~o~O~o~

Notes:

A HUGE thanks to asongstress1422 for all she does to work on this story. She has magic in her editing fingers.

Thank you for those of you who've stuck with me since the beginning. We are almost to the finish line which makes me happy and sad all at once. It takes me a lot of time to write the final chapters because I want to make sure I wrap up all the plot points I've woven in this story. I also have a family and a job, so I write when I have "free time". I am so thankful for you readers. Honestly, I live for your comments and feedback. The past few chapters have made me proud of what I've written because of you fine people.

I hope you enjoyed us getting a little closer to reconciliation. Rey doesn't fully trust Kylo right now, so I hope he can prove to her he really loves her. He has some groveling to do and let's see if he can take care of her in her fragile state.  
Maybe the next chapter we will find out what happened between Luke and Kylo as well?

Thanks for reading, and I hope to get another chapter out to you soon!


	19. Love is on the Way

"Time of season, wipes the tears

No rhyme or reason, no more fears

All the dreaming, far behind

You are here now, everything's all right.

Love is on the way

I can see it in your eyes

Let's give it one more try tonight, baby,

Love is on the way."

~"Love is on the Way" by Saigon Kick

~o~

The hum of the road noise hypnotized Rey as she lost herself to her exhaustion, slowly drifting off to sleep as the trees raced by. Her fatigue didn't even give her time to try and fight it. With her head on his shoulder as he expertly navigated the late morning traffic, she felt a sense of calm as her hands quit shaking and her nerves quit their barrage of relentless panic. Being next to him had always made her body relax, and it bolstered her somewhat to learn that her feelings hadn't changed after everything they'd been put through. Today he made her feel safe, and she welcomed the feeling.

She only lived twenty minutes from the office. The distance seemed just long enough for her to fall deeply into her dreams. For the first time in days, her subconscious didn't terrorize her.

The Porsche hit a bump in the road jolting her awake with a start.

"Sorry about that," he said. He began to reach his hand out for her knee, and she watched as he hesitated then slowly pulled back, returning it to its place on the steering wheel. She took note of how large his hands looked and shivered reminiscing on how those hands felt on her.

His attention turned to her briefly before his eyes found the road again. "You okay?

She didn't feel up to the pleasantries of a white lie, so she didn't answer. "Where are we?" she asked, squinting outside the windows trying to get her grogginess to dissipate so she could focus the blurry pictures passing them by. She didn't like not having her bearings.

"A few blocks from your place. Like I promised, straight home."

She glanced over at him, the morning light catching him through the window and setting his features in movie star relief. He hair was tousled like it always was when he fiddled with it, and Rey had the sudden urge to smile. It caught her so unaware that the shock killed it before it could become visible.

Even though he had never hit her or attacked her, this was still the man that had broken her heart. She still loved him-gods, did she still love him- but she was too beyond putting her trust in him. She'd accept his help in getting her home but that was it, she was too fragile to try for anything else. Just the thought of him walking out of her life made her fingers numb and her heart seize with terror.

His soft voice broke through her thoughts, "Rey, you're crying."

"Oh," she pressed the too big sweater cuffs to her cheeks. "Yeah, that's been happening a lot lately. Just ignore it."

"Rey-"

"Please," she asked hiding behind her closed eyes. "Just ignore it."

"Okay," he said softly after a time, and they drove in silence for the last couple of minutes.

When they pulled into her drive, the air hung heavy between them. After their tumultuous fight, he left in a fit of anger with her holding his engagement ring and crying a river of tears. Nothing had been the same since, and she thought she hated him for it. He left her ruined. Completely.

He was at her car door before her brain gave her hand instructions on how to open it. She swiveled her body out of the low Porsche, taking the hand he offered her. As soon as she felt the warmth from his touch, a calmness spread throughout her fingers down to her chest. For the first time since their fight, she felt a little like the person she was before Kylo had broken her heart.

Before Hux had broken her.

"Let me have your keys," he asked, shutting her door and following two steps behind her.

"No, I'll get it. Thanks."

"I seem to recall a time you were too drunk to open that door, and I had to intervene," he reminisced with little smiles stepping around her, his long legs bounding up the stairs to beat her to the door.

She tried to act like the small trek up her stoop stairs didn't suck out all her energy, but one look at his face, as it turned too serious when he looked her over to her, told her she hadn't succeeded. With gentle fingers, he extracted the keys from her. She let them go without further protest.

Within seconds, they both were in her home. His presence there felt good. It were as if he'd never left. How strange it was to her that they could cause each other so much pain and be able to be in the same room together.

An overwhelming tiredness enveloped her. "I need to sit."

He helped her to her couch. She sunk down and welcomed the feel of her plush cushions enveloping her. The fact that they made love on this exact place she sat didn't escape her. From the look he gave her, she knew he was thinking the same thing. Like a second frozen in time, they locked eyes until he cleared his throat and walked purposefully to the kitchen in her open floor plan.

"You need to eat," he proclaimed ducking inside her stainless steel fridge.

"I'm not hungry," she answered truthfully. Too much anxiety filled her belly.

"You're eating." He set a carton of eggs on her island, tossing a few other odds and ends beside them.

"Kylo, I-"

He leaned around the fridge door to meet her eyes. "You're _eating_."

It wasn't worth it to protest anymore. The look he gave her made a shiver run up her spine and a heat rise in her she thought would never burn again.

There was something calming in the domestic scene playing out in front of her. She liked seeing him search her kitchen drawers for bowls, whisks, and other items he needed to make the eggs. They'd cooked together dozens of times, and leaving the task to him would be dangerous for her kitchen.

Kylo would use every pot, pan, and utensil to make the simplest dish. Spills would go unnoticed, spices overused, and there was a huge possibility the smoke alarm would go off at some point. She remembered how much she'd laugh at him dancing around, waving a towel up to the ceiling to waft the smoke away from the beeping alarm.

She didn't care if she had to wash dishes all day or call the fire department. Having him here brought her peace that she hadn't had in a while.

"The house special is ready," he called out. Her eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice. She must've dozed off again, being soothed by his cooking and his familiar sounds in her house. She stretched as she stood, tottering to the kitchen island where he set the plates

Her stomach growled when she got a whiff of the eggs, her eyes bulging at the site of food that wasn't processed or pre-packaged. She scarfed down the cheesy, scrambled eggs he'd whipped up for her in what seemed like two bites. The anxiety in her stomach seemed to go away with every swallow.

"I thought so," he said as he passed her his plate of eggs. He'd only taken a couple of bites of his own. "Here. Take mine."

"No, Kylo," she protested, going to push the plate away.

He stopped her. "Please."

Her stomach rumbled from looking at the steaming eggs in front of her. Just the smells coming from the kitchen made her realize she was starving. She hadn't eaten properly in a few days, and it had finally caught up with her. With deft fingers, she scooped a huge bite into her mouth.

"Why are you being so nice?" she asked with a mouth full of eggs.

"Do I have to have a reason to be nice to you?" he asked as shuffled to the stove. At some point, he'd taken off his shoes and lost his jacket. She scanned the kitchen and found his red tie crumbled on the counter top. He took her kettle to the sink to fill it with water.

She swallowed another large bite, becoming more suspicious of the large man in her home. He looked like Kylo. Talked liked Kylo. Even smelled like Kylo. But something was off.

She wanted to interrogate him. Ask a million questions about why he was here with her and not at work. Luke had made it abundantly clear that all hands were to be on deck today. She'd also threw the biggest of wrenches in Luke's plan by having Hux arrested in front of the entire board. Rey was sure Kylo's supervision was needed at the company he now controlled. She'd caused a huge firestorm, and he needed to put out the flames.

So why wasn't he there?

She looked down at her empty plate. "Either I was starving or you make really good eggs."

"I think you were starving. I'm not the best cook." He set a cup of tea before her in her favorite rose-colored mug.

Words and questions burst in her head, but none actual escaped her mouth. When Kylo and she were together, she was never tongue-tied around him, but their break up had caused a rift that she had no way of repairing.

"Mmmm," she hummed as she took a drink. "Hibiscus. You remembered?"

"I remember a lot about you." His voice dropped lower and made her shiver.

"We did spend a lot of time together."

"That we did," he said, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed. His lean body was powerful and masculine even in her open and airy kitchen. She glanced away, taking another sip trying not looking at how inviting he looked. She wanted to crawl across the granite stonework between them and tumble in his arms. Not to do anything naughty but to feel secure against his broad chest and be wrapped in his strong arms. She felt so tired, even though all she had done since the assault was sleep.

It was the only place she felt safe.

Chewie decided it was high time to pay the dish a visit. Rey spied Whiskers in the box by the window. If he left, Chewie would steal the favored spot. Rey needed to find another box, so the two wouldn't keep fighting over that one. It was fun to watch them play and take turns making the other mad over who was king of the perch. It took Rey's mind off real life when she got to watch her furry friends in their natural habitat.

"Do you need me to make more food? I can also order something?" Kylo asked as she pushed the empty plate aside.

"No. I'm good," she spoke through a yawn. "Thank you. Not just for the food but for seeing me home. I don't know how I would've made it without you." she spoke honestly. She very well could have been wrapped in a ball in some coffee shop between her office building and her home suffering from the panic attack of all panic attacks.

"It is my pleasure. There's no place else I'd rather be."

"What about work? I'm sure there's a lot going on today."

"The best people will already be dealing with things."

"Aren't _you_ the 'best people'?"

She watched as he gave a self-deprecating smirk, his eyes drifting off for a second lost in thought that he kept to himself. "I'm not the best. Just good at making people think I am."

After licking the plate clean, Chewie prowled to the edge of the island to meow plaintively at Kylo, looking for attention.

"Well, this is a first," Kylo laughed as he awkwardly petted the feline who suddenly had shown an interest in his presence.

"Chewie's prickly." That was the God's honest truth. If Chewie liked someone though, then Rey usually did, too. She kept that part to herself.

"Why don't you go take a long, hot bath," Kylo said over scratching Chewie's head. "I'll clean up around here."

"You don't need to stay." He didn't need to watch her wallow in self-pity when she was very capable of doing that on her own.

"I would like to." His pleasant demeanor shifted to something slightly different. His eyes deepened. Nose tilted just so. His lips. Oh God, his lips twitched just barely but she noticed. This was the face of the man who said he loved her. "I'll help draw your water, and then I'll come back down here to clean up."

She closed her eyes against the temptation, standing firm in her resolve. "Kylo, you don't have to. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"I know. Trust me, I know just how _fucking_ capable you are. I know you don't need me. I know you've been to hell and back too many goddamn times for one person and still stand her even more glorious. I know I don't have to but, gods Rey, I _want_ to. So, please, just let me."

She had no strength to argue, and deep down she knew she didn't want him to leave.

"Ok," she said in a hushed tone. He let out a breath in relief.

They moved as if in orbit with one another, she was the sky and he was her satellite. Moving where he needed her. She let him lead and made sure he was never too far away. He pulled her hand gently up the stairs. Opened the doors. Ran the water. The smells of the salts and the candles wafted through the air, calming her. The way his large body stayed close, but never too close, made her feel safe.

He laid her robe and large, fluffy towel next to the garden tub and shut the door behind him without a word.

It almost felt like she could actually be something to him. Not just someone he felt sorry for.

She wrapped her hair up in a bun on top of her head and stepped into the toasty water. She'd taken several hundred rushed showers since Hux, but this was her first bath. Right before she sunk down into the water, she caught a glimpse of her body in the full-length mirror hanging near the tub. She averted her eyes as quickly as she could, but not before she got a glimpse of the black and blue bruising still vivid on her thigh.

She allowed herself to cry, just a little bit, but willed herself to enjoy the relaxing atmosphere Kylo had set up for her. She allowed her mind to drift to nothingness, letting time escape her and all the hurts of the world to fade into the back recesses of her mind.

When her toes grew wrinkled and the water tepid, she stepped out and wrapped the soft robe around her skin. Her footsteps across the tiled floor left a wet trail. She'd clean it up later.

She opened her door to the bedroom expecting Kylo to be somewhere, but he was nowhere to be seen. He must've headed back downstairs to clean up the huge mess he made when he fixed them eggs earlier.

For the first time in days, she checked her phone she'd plugged in earlier by her bedside. Sinking into her soft mattress, she sat and began watching the notifications flash on her screen. The ones that caught her eye the most came from the man currently hanging out in her house at the moment. They were from the night of the assault.

Friday night:

 _Kylo: Rey? 8:55 pm_

 _Kylo: I saw Hux take you out of Luke's office. Everything copacetic? 9:16 pm_

 _Kylo: Rey? Where are you? 10:55 pm_

 _Kylo: Are you okay? 10: 58 pm_

 _Kylo: You're scaring me when you don't respond. Rey? 11:08 pm_

Saturday:

 _Kylo: Call me 1:30 am_

 _Kylo: Have you made it home? 5:17 am_

 _Kylo: I know you're mad at me but I'm worried. Call me. Please. 6:58 am_

 _Kylo: Rey? 12:34 pm_

 _Kylo: Fine 8:18 pm_

Sunday:

 _Kylo: If I don't hear from you today... 7:48 am_

 _Kylo: I'm coming by to check on you. 3:45 pm_

 _Kylo: Rey. Please open the door. 4:02 pm_

And the text after text came through. Red bubbles everywhere. Emails. Missed calls. He'd tried every way he knew to get in touch with her, and she had no idea.

She couldn't even read everything he'd sent her without tears streaming down her face. It was becoming clear that somewhere deep inside he did care for her.

Her phone rung in the middle of her pity party and scared her out of her skin. Her hands shook, and it was almost too difficult to slide her finger across the screen to answer it.

A picture of a wrinkly, old woman in thick glasses flashed on her screen.

"Maz?" Rey spoke into the phone.

"Rey, dear. How are you?"

"Uh." How exactly was she supposed to answer that one?

"I heard what happened, and I'm just so... so…" she trailed off.

"Please don't. I'll be fine. Really." Rey was getting good at lying. Maybe someday she'd start to believe it herself.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not calling you to check up on you. I mean, I am, but," Maz's voice sounded weird. Something was up. "I also have another reason for calling."

"Okay. Is it bad news?"

"It depends on how you see it. It's bad news for Skywalker Enterprises. Maybe good news for you. We shall see." Maz pause for dramatic effect before continuing, "he left."

"Who left?"

"Kylo Ren."

"I know. He's with me. He should be back tomorrow."

"I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying. He _left_." She emphasized the _t_ sound in left. "For good."

" _Left_ left?" Rey questioned not able to wrap her mind around Maz's words.

"He and Luke had an exchange of words. From what I gather through the grapevine, the words _fuck you_ were tossed around."

"You mean, Kylo left Skywalker Enterprises?"

"Yes."

"For good?"

"I'm thinking so. I just thought you should know."

"I don't know what to say."

"Well, I do."

"You do?"

"Yes, he's not the monster I thought he was."

Rey didn't say anything. She had no words for what Maz just told her. She had more questions than answers.

"Rey?" she heard Maz's voice across the phone as if it were miles away. "Rey, darling? You there?"

"I, uh, need to go." Rey hung up as she heard Maz's voice say something on the line. She no longer processed anything.

Somehow her body pulled towards the door, needing to find Kylo. Needing to be close to him and ask him what the hell was going on. She didn't even bother with clothes; she just tightened the belt on her robe still feeling the drips of water from her wet hair she'd yet to dry.

Her body was on autopilot as she opened the door. _You can go down the stairs. You have the energy._ She told herself, giving herself a pep talk to find Kylo somewhere in this too large house of hers.

The little pep talk was for naught, and she didn't have to go far. She didn't have to call out to him over and over again or search downstairs.

Because there on the floor, guarding the hallway by her door was Kylo. His arms were folded across his chest, and his head leaned against the wall.

And he was fast asleep.

~0~

I'd like to thank asongstress1422 on Ao3 for helping me again by beta-ing this story. She's added some really great feeling into this chapter, and I thank her. Only two more chapters to go!


	20. Hold Me Now

"Hold me now.

Warm my heart.

Stay with me.

Let lovin' start, let lovin' start."

~ _Hold Me Now_ by The Thompson Twins

~o~

Kylo hadn't slept well since...well, since he walked out on Rey the night he had proposed, and she had rejected him. He'd broken down and told her he loved her, truly meaning those words, and it still hadn't been enough. Her not being able to even say those three little words back to him stung the most.

If he had offered marriage to any of the flings he'd had over the years, then Kylo would have been married and divorced many times over. In hindsight, he'd rushed the proposal for purely selfish reasons, and it had blown up in his face as it rightfully should. Rey wasn't one to fall down at his feet; she had always been stronger than that. In his panic, with everything else happening, he had blundered. Stars, he had fucked that up so badly.

If Kylo had only made her his one and only choice from the beginning, she would never have been hurt. If he'd have left Skywalker Enterprises instead of trying to go along with Luke, they could have been happy right now. Instead, he sat here outside her bedroom door, feeling useless, not knowing how to help the woman that was his whole world.

Because of his wounded pride, he had actively chosen not to be there when she needed him the most. He was as much to blame as Hux for hurting Rey, and the guilt was eating him alive.

"Kylo," the voice of his angel called out to him in his subconscious. Had he fallen asleep? "Kylo, wake up."

His eyes struggled to open and focus on the figure hovering above him. It took him a few seconds to realize he was in Rey's house, and she was kneeling at his side. The feather touches from her hand along his jawline soothed him. For the first time in a long while, he woke up peacefully and not on the verge of a panic attack.

"Hey." His groggy voice greeted her.

"You left Skywalker Enterprises?" she asked forcefully.

He blinked stupidly up at her - the question catching him off guard after just waking up.

"What?" Feeling water drip on his arm. He noticed her robe was half on, hair still sopping. "Hey, let's get you dried off."

He tried to stand, but she waved him back. "Don't dodge the question, Kylo . Did you leave the company?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

The conversation he had with his uncle mere hours ago sprang to his mind.

 _"_ _Kylo, are you coming?" his uncle asked, and Kylo knew Luke waited for him to follow as the dutiful nephew had always done. "We need to get ready, Son. Let's go over some talking points for the interview," Luke said like it was a normal morning at the office. As if the black eye on Rey wasn't a big deal. And the police officers had never been there to arrest Hux in front of their eyes._

 _As if Rey wasn't the victim in the middle of this mess._

 _"_ _Son? You coming?" Luke asked, looking at a paralyzed Kylo who hadn't been able to think clearly since Rey and the police had left._

 _The pressure began to build. The utter disdain he had for his job, his position, and his uncle finally came to a fever pitch. Kylo wasn't his son. He was no one's son. Han was dead. Luke wasn't the father-figure he thought he wanted. Luke only used him for the company gain. Nothing more._

 _"_ _Son?"_

 _"_ _Call me son one more time…" Kylo yelled before he pulled back his voice...and his fist._

 _Luke looked calmly out the window and then back to Kylo, taking off his glasses._

 _"_ _Don't throw this all away for her. She's not worth losing all of this over."_

 _"_ _Fuck you," Kylo spewed at his uncle, brushing past him in the hallway._

"Because it was leave or go to jail for assault." Kylo answered truthfully. "As much as I would love to have five minutes alone in a cell with Hux, I couldn't let you stand alone in the backlash."

"So then why are you _here_? I know I'm nothing to you." She spoke sternly, each word more demanding than the last.

"Why would you say something like that?" he asked, stunned.

"Because you said it."

He searched his brain, trying to remember if he'd say something so horrible about her. "I would never say that. You are my world."

"Stop lying to my face." She angrily smeared the tears on her cheek with her wrist. "I was there. I heard you."

 _Fuck._ He hated when she cried. All he wanted to do was reach out and hold her, but he didn't know how. "When?"

"That night, at the party. You told Leia that I was nothing, 'A casual fling that went on for too long.'"

Then it all came back.

The noise of the pretentious room. Luke's laughter projecting over the voices. His mother's judging look. Leia's hands clasped together on her crossed legs as if holding court with him. The overwhelming feeling of not wanting to give his mother access to his life. Not after she'd neglected him and left him unloved for so many years.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," he mumbled. The guilt still consumed him. The night he would gladly redo if he could and save Rey from Hux. If he'd just followed them out the door, then she'd be safe.

"No, shit," she sobbed.

It was the night he wanted to forget. No matter how hard he tried, it always punched him in the gut. Forgetting wasn't in the cards. It'd never be as long as she was in his life. That'd be his penance. Remembering every day how he failed her would be his punishment.

"I know you won't believe me, and I wouldn't believe me if I were you," he began, hoping he could make it right with her. "But, I didn't mean it - the things I said to my mother were lies. Honest.

"Then why did you say it?" she asked through another wet sniffle.

He wanted to take her face in his hands, kiss away her tears, hoping to be able to tell her without words how much he cared for her through just his touch. Instead he curled his fingers into his palms to stop himself. He had hurt her too much already. He didn't deserve her touch. Or her forgiveness. Not after what he'd done to her.

"Things with my mother are complicated. She'd been back in my life all of two minutes and already knew about _you_. She wanted all the details about _us_ , and I couldn't give her that. I didn't want her to have something that was just mine. She hadn't been in my life for years, and suddenly she wanted to know about what you meant to me? I couldn't let her in, especially when…" he trailed off, the emotions began to take over.

"When what?" she asked quietly.

"Especially knowing how much I loved you and how I'd left things. I wasn't proud of leaving you and hurting you the way I did, and I didn't want her to have anymore ammunition to fire at me if things turned bad again. I didn't want to share something so important to me with someone I wasn't sure I could fully trust."

 _Please believe me,_ only his eyes spoke as he tried to get her to see that she meant everything to him.

Rey took the sleeve of her robe and wiped her tear-stained face. As she did, the loose robe shifted and slipped from her shoulder.

Kylo tried not noticing her naked skin before him, but he couldn't help himself. One of her breasts peeked out, and he longingly wanted to bury himself at her bosom and feel the comfort he knew only she could give him. He knew he loved her when he just didn't want to use her body for his pleasure.

As his eyes roamed across the body he longed for, he stopped. His eyes widening at a spot he didn't remember being there. He'd memorized her body - every mole, every birthmark, every scar. His lips had kissed them all.

But, he noticed her thigh and the purple bruise that spread across it.

As if she felt his eyes on her, she hurriedly hid her body underneath the robe.

He reached a trembling hand and moved the material away to find the bruise she'd hidden. Ignoring her embarrassed looks, he gently touched the mark, seeing if it was real or not. Something that hideous couldn't actually be on her body, could it? It hadn't been washed away with the bath water nor did it go away when his thumb grazed across it, trying to wipe it off.

Only when she flinched and pulled away as he laid his hands on her, did he know the vicious mark to be real. The reality of what she went through with Hux suddenly filled his head with rage. At one time, his touch would have set her on fire. It only took the brush of his hand for her to respond to him, willingly.

Now she was a scared woman who'd moved away whenever he got too close and was now repulsed by his touch. He knew she needed time, but it didn't frustrate him any less. Kylo wanted to kick and scream at the man who did this to his Rey. Beating Hux to a bloody pulp was all he could think about as he saw red.

Instead of violence, all the anger at Hux and the guilt from not saving her came crashing out of him in an unforeseen sob that he couldn't control.

"I'm so sorry," his voice broke as he lifted himself from the wall and pulled her into his arms, seeking her comfort. He didn't deserve her. Never did. He needed her forgiveness in the worst way. He'd need it every day for the rest of his life. "I'm so sorry for not being there. I should've kept him from you."

"It's over with," he heard her say calmly. Rey was the victim here. She was the one almost raped and beaten by a mad man, and here she was, rocking him in her arms.

"I should've been there."

"You didn't know. I didn't know. No one did."

"I'm so sorry." The tormented tears were flowing freely now.

"I know," she uttered in hushed tones as if trying to soothe a baby.

"I want to kill him, Rey. I want to choke the life out of his weaselly little body." His arms clamored at her back, struggling to hold her. He wanted her so close and as much as he pulled her to him, it wasn't enough. Her robe muffled the sound of his cries.

"If anyone gets to kill him, it's going to be me," she said matter-of-factly as she fisted his hair tightly in her hands. "I know you want to defend my honor, but I get to be the one to kill the son-of-a-bitch, okay?" She pulled his head back to look at him in the eyes. "What Hux did isn't on you. It's on him."

"But if I could've been there to stop you from leaving."

"We can debate it all day long, but you couldn't have prevented what Hux did to me. At least now he's in jail, and I'll make damned sure he can't do this to anyone else."

The weeping continued as the two sat in a tangled mess of forgiveness and regret, holding on to each other for dear life. He didn't know how long they stayed in each other's arms, but it was long enough for their sobs to die down to quiet tears.

She was the first to break the silence.

"Skywalker Enterprises," she whispered into his hair. Her head had found solace on his shoulder. "Are you sure about leaving? You were about to get your dream job. Everything you ever wanted was about to be yours!"

"Yes, I'm sure. The money, the title, it's what I thought I wanted. But it wasn't enough."

"You always talked about it. What could be more than that? " she asked, seeming to struggle to understand his decision.

"You." Kylo found her eyes and made sure she would hear every word he was about to say. "As soon as you left, everything made sense. All the pieces finally came together that I'd been working so hard my whole life to make fit, but they never did." He took a breath and gripped her harder. "I realized everything I wanted had just walked out the door and left me with a gaping hole in my chest. I knew that no amount of power would ever make me feel as whole as I do when I am lying with you in my arms." Kylo brushed his thumb across the freckles on her cheek. "I'd rather have you than the most powerful job or all the money in the world."

"You shouldn't have…" she began, but he cut her off before she could finish.

"I already did - and I don't regret it." He regretted other things like not leaving Luke's manipulation sooner or letting her walk out that door with Hux. But he would never regret choosing her

She tried to say something else, but he swept his thumb across her pouty lips. "Shhhh," he whispered. "Can we just agree that neither one of us works right when we aren't together?"

Rey nodded her head and gave a weak smile. Soon Kylo would have her laughing as she did before this whole mess. Soon.

He noticed the bags under her eyes. "Let's get you to bed." He lifted himself off the floor, taking her hand in his only to have her yank it away.

She gave him a nervous side-eye and closed her robe around her small frame a little tighter.

He kicked himself for not being more delicate. He didn't expect anything from her, and he needed to let her know that.

"For sleep. That's all. We're both clearly exhausted."

"Sorry," she whispered to him, still sitting on the floor. "I'm just a little jumpy."

"It's okay." He reached out his hand and this time waited for her to take it.

She looked at his offered hand, then back up at him, heart break in her eyes. "I'll need time."

"I know."

"Are you okay with that?"

"More than okay."

She gently placed her hand in his. Kylo pulled her up and led her to her bedroom. He knew the layout of her place well enough to find her favorite cotton pajamas in her dresser drawer and fuzzy socks on the chair in the corner of the room. He turned down the covers as she dressed away from him with his back turned. He got her a glass of water and turned on her diffuser, letting the soothing lavender fill her room.

She slid into bed, seeming more tired than she'd been earlier. Her eyes already closing as he pulled the covers to her chin.

"Sleep, my love. I'll be downstairs, just call if you need me."

He turned to go, but before he could leave the room, he heard her call out to him.

"Please stay."

With one hand on the doorknob, he half turned to find her looking at him from underneath her droopy eyelids. "Are you sure?"

"Very sure. I just need you to hold me. I haven't slept well in a while."

"I can definitely do that."

As he crawled into bed with Rey, an overwhelming tiredness enveloped him as well. His body had been struggling to work without her and was exhausted at the feat of just making it through the day on little to no sleep. Now that he had her near, his body could finally rest. His mind could quit churning. He could just _be_.

She rolled over; her hand falling on his chest which suddenly no longer ached for her because she was finally here. He listened to her steady breathing, letting her rest safely with him. He smelled her still-wet hair, never wanting to leave this space.

"So I wait for you like a lonely house," he whispered under his breath into her hair once her breathing turned even and she drifted off to sleep, "till you will see me again and live in me. Till then my windows ache."

Kylo would wait for Rey. He'd help her make herself whole again if it was the last thing he did.

He kissed the top of her head, readying himself to dream right along with her when she stirred.

"Did I just hear you quote Pablo Neruda?" she mumbled her question into his chest.

"I thought you were asleep." He stroked his fingers down her arm still resting on him. "I may have read his poetry a few times."

"And, what made the man who used to make fun of me for all my mushy, romance novels change his mind?"

"You."

A hushed silence filled the room.

"Me?" she finally asked, as if she didn't know by now how he felt about her.

"Yes, Rey, you've changed everything."

Rey rolled over onto her back, breaking contact with him as if she didn't like where the conversation was headed. He didn't move, not wanting to spook her.

"Kylo?" her fragile voice broke the silence.

"Yeah?" He held his breath, not knowing what she'd say. Unexpectedly, her hand took his, and her fingers intertwined. He welcomed the contact and waited on baited breath for her to speak.

"I love you."

He inhaled a breath that almost burst his lungs. The words sounded like a beautiful song from her lips.

"I love you, too."

The two finally succumbed to dreamless sleep, holding tightly to the other's hand.


	21. I Don't Care

"'Cause I don't care when I'm with my baby, yeah  
All the bad things disappear  
And you're making me feel like maybe I am somebody  
I can deal with the bad nights  
When I'm with my baby, yeah  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh  
'Cause I don't care, as long as you just hold me near  
You can take me anywhere  
And you're making me feel like I'm loved by somebody  
I can deal with the bad nights  
When I'm with my baby, yeah"

"I Don't Care" by Ed Sheeran

Rey studied the flower arrangement as she swiveled around in her favorite bar stool at Rose's flower shop. She loved the place with its light and airy feel. The pale gray walls with hanging, pendant lighting above the work tables made it minimalist but the splash of color from the flowers made it a work of art.

"How did your meeting go with the bank on Monday?" Rose asked after they had worked together incompatible silence for a while.

Rey had spent the last two months since leaving Skywalker Enterprises taking care of herself and getting a little of the old Rey back. Coming to Rose's shop a couple of times a week and learning the basics of flower arranging was the perfect therapy. Even her counselor said so. She got to spend time with her best friend and mindlessly create little (or huge) bouquets with beautiful flowers that Rose generously let her experiment with. Just smelling the fragrance of roses mixed with the sweet-pea made her happy.

"Great!" Rey beamed as she cut and cleaned three yellow irises and poked them into place alongside the bright orange pom poms of African Marigold and the waxy white of the Spanish star jasmine. "They are supposed to be getting back to me by next week. And once I have secured the financial backing, I can sign the lease on the storefront and really get down to business."

"I'm so excited for you." Rose took a yellow daisy and handed it to her friend. "It's good to see you smile again."

Rey blushed and took the sweet flower and put it up to her nose for a quick whiff. She poked the stem behind her ear, feeling free and surprisingly content. She knew she had won the lottery when it came to best friends.

"It needs something more," Rey said inspecting her arrangement with a critical eye as she compared her project against the masterpiece that was her friend's.

"Here, take these linden leaves and flowers and fill in that empty place," Rose recommended happily clipping a pretty bunch of greenery with off white dandelion-esk flowers giving it to Rey.

"Like this?" Rey asked, sticking the small branches where Rose instructed. Like magic, the whole thing came together. "Rose, you're amazing."

"I know," Rose said modestly, her beautiful smile making the sunshine all the brighter as she strategically tucked another bloom in her vase.

"And how are things with Kylo?" Rose asked inspecting a large bucket of roses and plucking off dead leaves.

"Things are good," Rey hedged.

Kylo, for the most, part had moved in with her. It was the most natural thing in the world for her big man to take up residence with her. She especially loved how he took up most of her bed at night, holding her close. Making her feel safe. He still had his bajillion square foot mansion on the hill but on more than one location he'd talked about selling it.

"Good," Rose repeated non-plus, raising a brow. "What does that even mean?"

Rey fidgeted in her chair. "It means good ."

They had fallen into an easy routine of sorts. Most nights they made dinner in unless they got a craving. Friday nights he took her to the movies if there as anything good on or they took a walk in the park over on 5th where he held her hand. Kylo gave her space to mend, and she basked in the attention. It was nice and good and easy.

Rose looked her over, the slight pout to her lips she got when calculating how many roses she needed to order for valentines day. She glanced over Rey's bouquet then her jaw fell open as she turned back to her best friend. "You guy haven't had sex yet, have you?"

Rey shrunk in on herself.

Sex. It was the one dark cloud on their otherwise perfect relationship. It was the one thing they never discussed, and though she desperately wanted to, she couldn't get the words to form.

They hadn't been intimate since before their infamous breakup, and she knew it must be difficult for him. Hell, it was difficult for her. When they had been together before, they had fucked like horny rabbits, and she would be lying if she said she didn't want every part of him inside her at all times. She craved to relive the memory when he'd make her eyes roll back in her head as she screamed his name.

But - and that was a big but - she wasn't sure she was ready. Her therapist assured her that her desire for intimacy would return, that she just needed to wait for her mind and body to fully heal, but Rey was terrified that would never happen. The weaseled-faced, rat-fucker had pleaded guilty when faced with his charges. More importantly, Kylo had made sure Rey had the best lawyers in the country backing her. With the powerful prosecution team of Altman, Logan, and Paterson, the piss-ant knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. Luckily, he was already in prison where he couldn't hurt anyone again.

But what if a part of her was irreparably damaged? Like a piece of paper crumpled in that man's hands, that no amount of soothing could straighten out. What if a part of her was gone and she'd never get it back all because that asshole had taken it from her.

In the beginning, they had tested her trauma. Though they made some headway in kissing, the second he tried to touch her thighs or forgot and touched the back of her head she panicked. After the third sobbing fit locked in the bathroom, Kylo had put the breaks on hard. She knew he must be disappointed but he told her not to push herself, that he was content to never have sex again if it meant she got to spend that time with her.

"Oh, Rey, honey, I didn't mean it like that." Rose soothed coming up beside her to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "I was just surprised is all. What with that 'Fuck Me' bouquet."

"The what?" Rey sniffled.

"The Fuck Me bouquet. African Marigold, Spanish jasmine," at Rey's blank look Rose trailed off. "Oh my god, I get you a book of flower language, and you don't even read it. See if I buy you a present ever again."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about, you took just about every flower that I could say 'have your way with me' and put it in one arrangment. You need to get laid, honey."

"But I - I can't!"

"This," she dragged the vase across the table, "begs to differ."

Rose's phone rang, pulling Rey from her thoughts. Rey watched Rose spring into business mode as she talked.

"Sorry," she whispered to Rey cupping her hand over the receiver, "I need to take this; wedding planner."

"No worries," Rey said shell-shocked. " I'll see you tomorrow."

Rey backed out of the door, waving to her friend. As if in a trance he feet carried her to her car parked down the block on the street. Unlocking it she carefully set her flowers in the passenger seat. Moving around to the driver side she cranked over the engine and just sat there with it idling staring at the arrangement.

Reaching in the backseat she unearthed the book that had been living there for the last eight months and rested it against her steering wheel. The Dazzling Language of Flowers . She flipped to the back and looked up each of the plants that took up the seat next to her. Yellow iris for passion, star jasmine for sensuality; it really was a 'Fuck Me' bouquet. African Marigold for a vulgar mind - she shivered in her leather seat when a collage of images of Kylo infiltrated her brain. Not one particular image stood out from the other, but the theme that ran through them was that he'd been there and never left her side - the one tried and true constant in her life.

He wasn't going anywhere. He loved her. She loved him.

No matter what they'd been through, they muddled through it together and came back stronger for it. Rey knew if they could survive the hurricane, then their relationship could survive a tsunami of hardships.

And she wanted sex. Hot, seaming, rip all her clothes off and roll naked on the floor sex with Kylo. Right now. And that made her so happy.

She rushed across town, parking in her usual spot on the driveway and bounded up the steps to her home, no their home. Throwing the door open, she couldn't hold herself from him any longer. She untangled herself from her bags, dropping them in the entryway floor. Setting the arrangement carefully on the entry table, her focus became finding Kylo.

"Babe!" she hollered, searching for the man who'd helped put her broken pieces back together; her body surged with a need for him. Her therapist was right - she'd know the moment she would be ready, and damn was she ready.

Her voice quieted when she found him snoozing in the leather chair with his feet resting on the stool. With a book opened on his chest, she found him lost in dreamland. Kylo looked so peaceful as he slept. His nightmares had all but gone away, and she knew it had everything to do with them being back together.

Apart they were two ships lost at sea, but together, they found their port, their place in this world.

Rey carefully slid the book from off his chest and climbed on top of the mountain of a man sitting in front of her. She'd not felt him inside her for so long that she suddenly needed him. Needed to feel the things only he gave her.

She had taken the time to heal, but now she realized the floodgates had opened, and she wanted to drown inside his love.

He didn't stir when she straddled his lap, placing her knees on the cushions on either side of him. Bending down to catch his lips, her stomach fluttered with butterflies in anticipation what he'd do to her. Not being with him for what seemed like ages had caught up to her - her panties were soaked.

A part of her insecurity reared its ugly head, and for a split second, she wondered if he would still want her, or was he just around because he felt guilty for what happened?

Before she could worry any further about it, she felt his giant bear hands engulf the back of her head. Instead of panicking she eased into it, pushing her body to his. His cock awakened hard beneath her. His lips took her roughly, not holding anything back.

There was no doubt; he wanted her, too.

"I'm sorry it took me so long," she whispered into his lips; she didn't even stop the kiss as she spoke. Too much time was lost already.

"Don't be." He kissed her back. "You're ready for me now. That's all I care about."

It didn't take them any time to pick up where they left off. Hands everywhere. Breaths shallow. Hearts exploding.

The feeling of him below overwhelmed her, and Rey felt as if she were walking on air. She finally knew what she wanted, and it was Kylo. And, only him.

In a frenzy, her shirt flew to the floor, and his hands were up and under her bra. Her hardened nipples prickled as he squeezed and pulled her breasts. Her lips throbbed with the attack of his lips. There was no time to waste.

"I need you now," she whimpered. There'd be time for foreplay later, but now she just needed him to fuck her hard and make her body go limp. She needed him to say dirty things to her, make her feel like she did before this whole mess.

He wrenched her short skirt above her waist, and it took her no time to unbutton his jeans and free his cock. Her hand gripped his girth and stroked it, liking the sounds erupting from his chest.

With one hand anchored on his shoulder, the other took his hardness and rubbed him along the wet material of her panties, paying special attention to her clit. She could come from just this, but she knew she wanted to feel full of him and feel the power of his hips, his thrusts.

"Hurry," he whispered, "I'm not going to last."

She wasn't either.

Kylo pulled her panties to the side, exposing her, letting him find home.

She took all of him, hard and fast, gasping at how it felt like the first time she was with him. Back at the masquerade ball, they didn't even know the other, just two strangers pulled together by an attraction they couldn't control. Who knew their masked escapade would send them on a rollercoaster ride to end all rides?

Through it all, there was an attraction that wouldn't go away. A thirst for the other that was never quenched. Heated barbs hurled at the other and anonymous sex had turned into an unbreakable love.

"Do you want me?" She'd never get over how a man like him so self-confident and sexy could ever want her. After all this time, she still needed to be reassured.

"Yes, so much. I want you all the fucking time." His pace quickened to that of a jackhammer.

"Tell me dirty things," she moaned.

He bit his lips, grunting as he drove into her as if he'd never have her again. Those dark eyes opened to her as he heard her request. A small, wicked smile unfurled across his face.

"This cunt is mine and only mine," he cried out. "Look at us in that mirror." Rey had a large mirror hanging on the wall with a beautiful bronzed frame on the opposite wall from where they fucked. She turned her head to look behind her shoulder and gasped at how the two of them joined together. She'd never seen herself like this before.

"Look how your tight cunt takes me. Watch how you stretch around me. Do you see that?"

"Yes," she moaned - the force of his movements hitting her just right. The image of him thrusting up into her turned her on even more. Her own personal porno was playing right in front of her.

"You're made to fucking come on my cock and only my cock," he also sounded possessive when he took her like this.

"I want your big cock to split me open," she screamed as she watched her round ass bounce when he slammed into her like this.

"Consider it done." His thumb then meandered to her clit. The pressure of his touch made her scream a flood of curses that echoed through the room. Her focus turned from the mirror, losing her train of thought. Enraptured by the way he made her body feel.

Her body arched, feeling the coil unwind. Her fingers reached behind her, taking his balls, stroking them. She wanted him to fall over the edge with her, and she knew just how to make it happen. That was the joy of being a couple, knowing what made them tick. Knowing how one little stroke of the sensitive area right below his balls would make him cry out and fill her with his spend.

"Fuuuck." He was right on cue. One last thrust and he pressed into her, filling her with his warmth.

Her release came a moment later as she kept slamming her body on his to release the pressure that had been building not just today but over the past few months. She'd not had him inside her for too long and knew she'd not be going anywhere.

"Ohh," she moaned, her body curled like a cat stretching in the sun. Her nails clawed into his shirt where she could feel his flesh underneath. Her walls clenched over and over again, feeling the euphoria their lovemaking brought.

"You take me so well," he spoke in his post-orgasm, gravelly voice.

"Don't ever stop making me feel like this. You have a gift."

She kissed his puffy lips, loving how their softness made kissing so enjoyable.

"I'll make you feel so good, baby. As long as I live."

"You promise?"

"I do."

~o~

Kylo let out one last guttural growl as he finished again inside her.

"I don't think I have any cum left," he laughed. "I'll gladly sacrifice another go around if it makes you happy."

She kissed his nose as he hovered above her.

They spent the rest of the day in the bedroom as they caught up on the time they lost while they were apart. It was the most natural thing in the world for them to spend the day wrapped up with the other - they'd make love, sleep a bit, and then attack the other again.

Rey lost count of how many orgasms she'd had in one day. She was pretty sure she had beaten the world record if there was such a thing. The Guinness Book of World Records needed to be contacted and made aware of the sex god living in her house.

"Before we go again, I need sustenance." As if her stomach heard her words, it let out a low growl.

"Woman hungry," he grunted in his caveman's voice. "Order pizza?"

"Sure, that sounds great," she giggled feeling light and carefree.

Kylo ordered the food, and they both took a long hot shower, helping wash the other. Rey enjoyed soaping up his body, feeling how his muscles felt under her hand. His body was her wonderland. Hard in all the right places, except for his lips. Gods, his lips were soft, and she could help but use every chance she had to feel them on hers.

He washed her hair and then brushed it after they got out. The way his large but nimble fingers tenderly touched her as he brushed took her breath away. It felt so good to be taken care of and let go of trying to do it all by herself. It was scary to put her well-being in someone else's hands other than her own, but it became clear that she needed someone to compliment her. To be the light in her darkness.

Being the sole caretaker of herself for her entire life was exhausting. It was nice having someone around to share life's burdens. To have a strong shoulder to cry on who also remind her to take her vitamins. But most of all, someone she loved who kept her safe.

If anyone said she'd be dating this man six months ago, she'd have laughed in their face. The cocky jerk of Skywalker Enterprises was not her type. Yet, here she was, a few months after the masquerade ball, and she couldn't imagine him not being the man she woke up to every morning.

They got dressed in comfortable but easily removable clothes and made their way to the kitchen where they poured wine, waiting for the pizza.

The doorbell rang, and Rey jumped up off the couch, first out of the chute, running to the door almost spilling her wine all over herself.

"You really must be hungry!" Kylo chuckled, setting his glass down on the coffee table, petting Whiskers who now claimed him as her own.

"I am! Someone has fucked me senseless today, and I'm going to need some food to keep up with his insatiable appetite."

His goofy grin emerged.

"I know what my dessert will be tonight." He waggled his eyebrows, not taking his eyes from her as she made her way to the door. She stopped in her tracks.

"And, do tell what that might be?"

His large arm rested on the back of the couch. His head tilted towards her, and his serious face took over.

"I'm going to take my time between your legs tonight and lick that sweet pussy of yours. I don't need any sweets when I have you to feast on."

She almost forgot about the pizza waiting at the door, feeling herself get wet for the thousandth time today from just thinking about his lip sucking her clit just so.

Ding dong.

The reminder that someone was at the door came again, startling her.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. How much was it again?" She swung the door open, expecting the young man who always delivered the pizza to her house but was pleasantly surprised.

In front of her stood a smiling blonde with intricately braided hair who held a familiar diamond ring between her fingers. It sparkled in the glow from the lights of Rey's home. It was the ring Kylo had given her.

And like an answer to her prayers, her savior stood before her.

"I thought you might want this back?" Connix greeted as she pushed the ring towards Rey's face. Rey stood, stunned and unable to process what was happening. Didn't she give the ring to her to make a better life for herself? Where had she been? Why would she return it when she obviously needed the money?

"Connix?" Rey still stood unmoving at her angel actually standing on her doorstep. She almost thought she had to be an angel since she just up and evaporated like a cloud of smoke.

"Hey, Rey. You're lookin' good."

"I'm doing great!" In an instant, they were together in a tight hug, laughing and crying in their joy of seeing each other again. Rey stroked Connix's hair as she took in the presence of someone she barely knew who meant the world to her. The one night of kindness had bonded them together in a way that couldn't be described. It could only be felt.

"What's going on?" Kylo walked over, interrupting the joyful reunion.

"Kylo, this is Connix. She helped me when-" she still couldn't utter his name. One day soon she'd be able to say Hux without wanting to vomit. "She's the one who saved my life."

Kylo stood without speaking, his body unmoving like a statue, staring down the young girl who showed up unannounced.

Rey grabbed his hand, waking him from his trance.

"Are you okay?" Rey asked, not sure what he was thinking.

In the lowest register of his voice, she heard him ask the young girl, "Can I hug you?"

"Um, sure," Connix answered, letting the big man engulf her in a bear hug.

"Thank you for being there when I wasn't. Thank you." He just kept repeating thank you , holding her little body in his. Connix didn't seem to mind the affection.

Kylo cleared his throat and reluctantly let the girl go.

"I wanted to return this," Connix spoke after being released from what was probably the most earnest embrace she'd had in her life.

She still held the diamond ring.

"I wanted you to have it. Use it to finish school and get out of that neighborhood."

"I know, but for some reason, I couldn't. It felt wrong to take something like this for myself. I had to hide out for a while to get away from some things, and I just had this overwhelming feeling that this ring wasn't going to fix my problems." Connix paused, contemplating her next words.

Rey and Kylo stood there, listening to the young girl speak. It seemed she'd been through something awful, and Rey was certainly glad she was here now. Alive and well.

"While laying low, I had a lot of time to think, and I knew I needed to get out of my sorry situation, and money alone wasn't going to help. Seeing you suddenly became my only focus. I don't know why, but I just had to find you."

"I'm here. You can be safe with me," Rey stopped and looked to Kylo who was overwhelmed with this reunion. "I mean, you're safe with us ."

"Is that what I think it is?" Kylo asked; it must have finally registered which ring they'd been discussing.

"Yes. It was all I had to thank her and-" Rey stumbled over her words suddenly worried he might be upset about giving away his engagement ring. They hadn't brought up marriage or their future yet, and he never asked where the ring was.

"Relax, sweetheart. I'd have given her all my cars, my house, my entire fucking bank account to thank her for keeping you from being hurt anymore by that monster. The ring is nothing compared to your safety."

"So, it was you who gave Rey this ring?" Connix asked, fiddling with the jewelry as she gave Kylo a more thorough look over.

"Um, I did, but it was a long time ago. Things were a bit different between us then than they are now." Kylo sounded nervous, but the tiny smile he shot Rey's way let her know he was good.

"Well, if I can give it back to its rightful owner," Connix said, looking up to the big man standing before her, "then maybe he can try again?"

Kylo looked to Rey as Connix forced the ring in his hand.

"Maybe this time the girl will say yes? "

~o~

A year-and-a-half later…

Kylo tied her hands behind her back with the linen he tore from the curtains; this time she let him. He bent Rey face down over the same table they'd christened two masquerade balls ago.

"Where are you? There are too many layers of frilly things under here." Kylo was lost in a sea of charmeuse and chiffon, trying to get to her.

"I've never known you to back down from a challenge," she dared.

Kylo took off his mask to get a better view of the situation.

"You look amazing in your wedding dress, Baby, but it seriously isn't conducive to what we're trying to do here."

Her feathered masked turned to him as if she could see him. He'd blindfolded her as well.

"Just pull down the petticoat, and you'll be home free," she instructed. He fumbled around for a bit more with a tie and other things he ended up just ripping from sheer frustration, but he pulled the undergarment that was the bain of his existence off her body. He took her garter and panties off in one swoop as well. He was dying and he didn't need any more delays.

Her sweet cunt glistened before him.

Now, Kylo could finally have her.

"Mrs. Ren?" he uttered. He'd never tire of saying the name she had taken in the ceremony mere minutes ago.

"Yes, Mr. Ren?"

"Do you think anyone is missing us right now?" He caressed her bare ass.

"If they are, they can deal not having us at the reception for a few minutes."

"I think I'm going to take more than just a few minutes with my wife." His cock ached.

"Rose and Connix have everything under control," Rey whispered. "Take your time, my love."

Rose had taken over as not only the florist for the wedding but also the coordinator for the entire event. Having the wedding at the masquerade ball where it all started was her grand idea. Connix helped Rose as well and had become invaluable as a friend. She also became a partner in Rey's new business venture.

Rey began a non-profit to help get women of abuse back on their feet. She provided job training and worked to get them a start on a better life away from their abusers. Connix was her right-hand man through it all, keeping up with the growing need that surged through their community. Kylo took a role behind the scenes, as well. The three of them had started a business that didn't seem like work.

For the first time, Kylo loved his job and felt fulfilled, finally doing something to help others. Being the most powerful man in the room no longer interested him. His job now was to make sure his wife was able to help as many people as she could.

"So, dear husband, you can do to me whatever you want."

"Whatever I want, huh?" Kylo released himself from his tuxedo dress pants, ready to make love to his wife as they had the first time they were together. Excitement ran through his veins as it always did when he was with Rey.

"Yes, whatever, my love," she moaned as he slid inside. "I won't even get mad if you steal my panties again."

"I look forward to doing just that for the rest of my life."

~the end~

Notes:

Well, there you have it. It's over. I told you there'd be a happy ending, didn't I? Now, I'm going to go cry in the corner.

Thanks to those of you who've stuck with me from the beginning when I was new to the fandom. I appreciate your love and support! Thanks to those of you who gave this no-name author a chance. Thanks to all the encouragement and kind words that made me continue this story. You, the readers, are amazing! I felt so much love for you through this whole process; I can't thank you enough!

I want to thank asongstress1422 for being a kick-ass beta. She added a lot to the flower arranging scene, and it made this chapter so much better. She knows how to make me sound way better than I really am. So, thank you! This journey has been amazing!

For those who've made me art and mood boards, I love you! Avamarga, beautiful_and_broken aka DazzledbyJake, Drnucleus, Reylowarrior, and semperfidani!

SalvatoreTroubie made a Spotify playlist for this story! Here's the link: /lxAzBcBCzU I'm so grateful for her friendship!

I want to thanks my ladies in The Thirst Order for always being there, cheering me on, even when I wanted to cry (and usually did). My ladies on Twitter and The Den, you are awesome! There are too many to name, but you know who you are!

So...I guess, this is it! I love you all. Let me know what you think! I value all your words.

I have other stories, if you're interested, and come hang out with me on Twitter at 3todream3

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


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